The fact that I'm alive right now is already hope!

A = Aftercare

He’s probably passed out. Poor hope boi doesn’t have a lot of stamina.

B = Body part

He loves every part of his s/o and makes sure to make sure every part of them feels loved. He hates his own body because of how he perceives himself.

C = Cum

He tries to release out of you; like his part not in you. He doesn’t want to taint you with his filthy come. The times he accidentally does release inside you, he'll apologize endlessly. When that happens, you kiss him to make him stop.

D = Dirty Secret

Komaeda secretly likes topping you. He won’t admit it but the feeling makes him ecstatic.

E = Experience

Virgin. He was definitely a virgin. A virgin who reads about sex because he wants to do it correctly with his s/o.

F = Favorite position

He doesn’t have any preference. He likes whatever makes you happy.

G = Goofy

If joking means teasing, yeah he does that a lot.

H = Hair

Um… there’s a lot of stuff down there.

I = Intimacy

He’s very considerate, always aware of what he’s doing and keeping himself under control; not doing anything you don’t want, keeping it at the right pace, etc. Komaeda’s very romantic in the aspect of romance; he makes sure every part of you is touched pleasurably. He might overdo it with the hickeys and kisses, but he’s just showing his love.

J = Jack off

He doesn’t do it a lot. Komaeda always fights the horniness because he thinks he doesn’t deserve to be like that. That and what if someone walks on him doing it? There are various reasons he doesn’t do it and the main one is him thinking about his s/o while jerking off. He doesn’t want to defile his s/o in any way.

K = Kink

Bdsm, enough said.

Bdsm; sadism, masochism, bondage

Praise

Degrading

Body worship

Hope

L = Location

He doesn’t care where he and his s/o do it. He probably took his s/o at Jabberwock Park on a park bench first time around.

M = Motivation

His s/o saying his first name. It's intimate; sacred even. Calling a person by their last name is a formality even if you don't use a suffix (ex: -san, -kun, -chan, -sama.) Calling a person by their first name, however; it's very intimate and special because not many people call a person by their first name unless the person requests them to. Lovers tend to call each other by their first names without any suffixes because it's intimate and that's why this is his motivation.

You're the only person who calls him, "Nagito". To hear you say his name so lustfully and lovingly, he's very lucky to have you. Have you like this; to see you like this. To...defile you. He wants to repay the honor of you calling him by his first name by pleasuring you to the utmost of his abilities. Even though he doesn't have any in his opinion.

N = NO

Him taking things too far; him hurting you. He would never forgive himself if he hurt you. He’d be very sad if it ever happened and would try to avoid you to protect you.

O = Oral

He always wants to be the person doing it; he’s a giver.

P = Pace

Whatever his s/o wants.

Q = Quickie

He actually prefers these than actual sex because of his stamina. To make it more interesting for you, he picks a lot of public places to do them to give you a heart attack excitement or uses his toys. Recently you two did a quickie on the first island’s beach.

R = Risks

Komaeda’s definitely an experimentalist. He tries out a lot of things just to so what his s/o likes and doesn’t like.

S = Stamina

One. Just one. His stamina is terrible.

T = Toy

Just chains. A lot of chains. For… purposes.

U = Unfair

Oh sweet Jesus, a lot. He teases you a lot. Whether it was verbally or with his actions, he teases.

V = Volume

He can be loud if he wants to. But unconsciously, he’s not very loud. He softly moans but overtime, he gets louder.

W = Wildcard

Komaeda absentmindedly touches you a lot; sometimes for reassurance, other times are when he’s touch-starved. He’s a clingy boi..

X = X-ray

9 inches, mmm~

Y = Yearning

Average; every other, other time he sees you. He’ll never satisfy his lust though. He’ll hold himself back unless you’re also horny.

Z = Zzz

Give him five minutes and he’ll be a sleepy angel.

~ Mod Celes

(Takes place in the Neo World Program which is literally my only excuse for Nanami being alive)

Nanami, Koizumi, and Sonia held a party that doubles as a birthday party for Hinata and a New Years Eve party. It took a few days to fully decorate the whole island but everyone managed through teamwork. Mioda, Saionji, and Koizumi made the decorations. Hanamura made the food and Owari taste tested with Nidai supervising. Twogami and Sonia went around the island to see if everyone was on task. Nanami went wherever help was needed. Kuzuryu, Pekoyama, and Tanaka were putting up the decorations. Tsumiki was on standby, alert at all times if anyone got hurt. It was also for her safety as she tended to trip on air everything. That leaves you, Komaeda, Hinata, and Souda cleaning.

Komaeda couldn’t stop rambling about how hopeful and exciting this party will be. The celebration of a classmate’s birthday and an eventful time of year, what wasn’t hopeful about that?! He kept getting distracted by his thoughts and Souda eagerly brought him back by hitting him with his broom. Once he hit Komaeda too hard and he fell to the ground. You and Hinata decided it was time for Souda to switch jobs with someone. Nanami literally rushed to full in Souda’s place.

You helped Komaeda up and kissed on his bruise and he looks away in embarrassment.

“(l/n)-kun/san, you don’t need to waste your valuable time on trash like me.” He says, avoiding your gaze.

You offered your hand to him. “As someone who cares about the environment, I’m obligated to pick you up. How does 11 sound?” He blushes darkly.

Nanami smiles in amusement as Hinata whistles. Komaeda hesitantly took your hand, feeling guilty he’s defiling you. He quickly let’s go when he was standing once more. He didn’t want to give the impression you and him were dating to Hinata and Nanami. That wouldn’t do; trash like him dating a super high school level? It sounds absurd. You’d probably be grossed out if you two were dating.

Komaeda was snapped out of his thoughts by you handing him his broom. He smiled and thanked you.

You guys finished earlier than expected and had the rest of the day to your guys’ self. Everyone went their separate ways until the party started, which would begin at 3 pm. It was currently 1 pm so two more hours left.

You wandered around the first island, wondering what to do with your freetime. You spotted Komaeda and waved at him. He looks at you bewildered and turns around so he doesn’t have to see you. You felt hurt but brushed it off as nothing personal. He was probably busy or wanted some alone time.

You spent half of your free time bonding with Nanami. You two were on the fourth island trying some of the carnival games and talking about the party.

You two were currently at a balloon dart game where an Usami served as the carny. She encouraged both of you to try your best and explained you still get a prize even if you missed. Feeling motivated, you and Nanami both threw darts to the best of your guys’ ability. You mostly missed as the gamer rarely did. She mostly traded most of her prizes so she didn’t get little ones and she didn’t have to carry a lot. She had a large Squirtle plushie, a medium sized Pikachu, a small Slyveon, a small eevee, a medium sized Totoro, a drifblim, and a penguin plushie that looked salty.

You looked at the salty penguin and smiled at Nanami. “I think Hinata-kun would love that one.” You point at it, laughing slightly. It took her a few seconds to connect why you were laughing. She bursted out laughing too, laughing so hard she was crying a bit.

She calms down a bit to answer. “Yeah, I think so too.” She says, looking at it fondly.

“It’s fair, a salty penguin for a salty boy.” Nanami laughs a bit.

You looked down at your own prizes: a medium sized Kirby, a small Piplup, and a Cosmog. You still have no idea what to give Hinata for his birthday. He is the best gift giver you have ever met, you want to get him something he’ll love. You glanced at Nanami who was talking to Usami and got a silly idea. You could put a bow on Nanami and push her towards Nanami. You quietly laughed and that got Nanami’s attention.

“Ready to go (l/n)-san/kun?” She asks. You nodded, hugging your prizes to your chest.

“Nanami-san, have you gotten Hinata-kun a gift yet?” You ask. She nods and points at the penguin which makes you laugh.

“And you?”

“You.”

“I don’t get it.” Nanami says, glancing towards you puzzled.

“You: your my present for Hinata-kun. I could even put a bow on top of you and everything.” Nanami smiles at your idea and nods.

“I approve.”

You deadpanned. “I wasn’t serious.”

She pouted. “Can we do that, please?”

Well the idea sounded fun… Why the heck not? You gave in and agreed. She cheers.

“Give me the word and I’ll get in place.” Nanami explains.

“I’ll distract Hinata and say…hmmm. What’s a good code word?”

“Salt.” Nanami says immediately making you smile.

“Salt it is.”

You two arrived at the cottages and you two went your separate ways. You checked the clock in your cottage and saw you had an hour left until three pm. You decided to spend this time getting ready.

You had fifteen minutes from three pm when you finished. Most of the time was spent on you being fickle about what to wear. You decided to get to the hotel area of the first island, the place where the party would primarily take place. You had a present for someone and a bow for Nanami for your guy’s plan. The whole island was susceptible for the party, mostly everyone was going to gather here at midnight though. You were the only one there, being earlier than even Sonia. She arrived two minutes later because of the thirteen minute early rule in her country.

She tilts her head, noticing the box in your hand. You weren’t trying to hide it. It was only meant to be hidden from him. The person who the gift is intended for.

“Who’s that for?” She asks you, before her eyes widened in realization. Her eyes sparkled with happiness.

“That’s so sweet of you (l/n)-san to give Hinata-san a present.” You sweatdropped.

“It’s for Komaeda-kun.” You corrected her. She smiles at you brightly.

“Even sweeter!” She swoons.

She then tilts her head in confusion. “Is it tradition to give your lover a present on New Year’s Eve?”

You blushed. “Komaeda-kun and I aren’t dating, we’re just friends.” You say sheepishly. She eyes you and nodded, understanding. She gives you a thumbs up.

“I hope things go according to your plan. Good luck and happy new year’s (l/n)-san.” She smiles at you before Souda pulled her away.

Half of the people were here and you don’t see the person you wanted to see the most. Where is he? He shouldn’t be hard to spot because of how tall he is and how messy his hair is. He’s guaranteed to come to the party, but where was he?

You left the hotel area and went to the cottages. You knocked on Komaeda’s cottage door but he didn’t answer, meaning he was out already. You searched the entirety of the first island and went to the second one to search. You repeated this process with the third and fourth. You found Komaeda in the warehouse making you frown.

You reached for his hand with your free one and he jumps, startled from the sudden physical contact. He smiles at you gently, noticing it was you. His eyes softened and dilated as they looked at you. He had a light blush on his cheeks now.

“(l/n)-kun/san, what brings you all the way over here? You should be with the other super high school levels celebrating and having fun.”

You frowned at him. “Same goes for you.”

He chuckles. “Trash like me doesn’t deserve to be in the presence of various super high school levels.”

“It’s best if I stay here.” He continues.

“I’m not bothering anyone and no one’s getting hurt because of me. It’s a win-win right?” He laughs.

You tugged his hand and pulled him closer to you. “What if I said I want you there with everyone else?”

“I’d decline. No one wants me there at the party.” He says smiling.

“I want you there.” You refuted softly. His cheeks reddened, prominent due to his naturally sickly pale skin.

“…” He looks at you silently, trying to find a reason why you’d want him around. Why you would touch him willingly. Why you would talk to him. Why?

“…Why?” He asked, softly and confused. Komaeda looks down to meet your gaze. He was confused as to why you would want to be with him. He’s garbage compared to everyone else. Another super high school level would be worthy of your presence. Anyone but him. He’s not worthy.

You merely smiled at him and squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I like you…” He blushed darkly and he drowned out the words the came out of your mouth afterwards. He couldn’t have predicted this at all… You… Have feelings for trash like him?! He’s not ready for this! What should he say?! He doesn’t want to reject you and he clearly likes you too make you despair. But on the other hand–

“Are you okay?” You asked as he went completely silent. His face was flushed and conflicted. You let go off his hand and waved your free one infront of his face, effectively snapping him back to reality.

He opened his mouth to say something but you continued to speak. “As I was saying, I like you as a classmate.” You smiled at him making him disappointed.

Ah, of course. You would never like trash like him. He was relieved but hurt. His New Year’s resolution last year was to make a friend and this year it was to find a lover. He thought he’d did it before the year started but unluckily it didn’t work out for him.

No need to dwell on the past. He can’t wait to experience the good luck that will come afterwards!

You took his hand again as you finished whatever you were saying. He feels guilty he hasn’t been listening to you speak. Even more bad luck… He likes listening to your voice. He’s still ecstatic though; the speculation of his next stroke of luck is exhilarating!

“Do you want to take a stroll with me around the island?” You ask him, curious to hear his response.

“Why would you spend time with scum like me?” He asks, frowning at you.

“You’re not scum.” You scolded him, hitting him lightly on his head. It was more of a gentle pat on his head in his opinion but he’s still happy you touched him.

He sighs and nodded, very hesitant but who was he to refuse a super high school level? He has no right to.

The sun’s down already when you two left the warehouse. The sun was already setting when you entered the warehouse but you were still surprise by the amount of time that passed. You forgot how fast time flew when you searched the islands for him.

The moonlight shone down upon you two; illuminating you two as if it were a spotlight. The moonlight reflected of his pale skin making Komaeda appear as if he was glowing. It made him look more angelic than usual…

“I wasn’t joking.” You say out of the blue, swinging your guy’s hands back and forth.

He looks at you, confused; wondering what you could possibly mean.

“I said I was going to pick you up at 11.” He nodded, remembering earlier. He nervously laughs.

“It’s around seven now, five hours left to go.” You note, checking your e-handbook.

Oh! You nearly forgot the present in your hand. Now seems like a good time to give it to Komaeda.

“Hey Komaeda-kun?” He hums in response.

“Can you close your eyes for a minute?” He looks at you confused before complying and smiling.

“I trust you (l/n)-san/kun. Though I’m curious what you’re going to do.” He voices his thoughts out for once.

“Hold your hands out.” You instructed him softly. He mimicks your instructions and you placed the box in his hand.

“You can open your eyes now.” You told him, smiling gently at him. He looks at the box surprised. Heat rushes to his cheeks as he looks at you shocked.

A super high school level– no, someone, got him a gift?! This is the first time this happened! How is he supposed to react?!

“Thank you.” He breathes out, finally deciding to say some words of gratitude.

You laugh a bit. “Open the box first, Komaeda-kun.”

He blushes darkly. “Oh right.” He opens the box to see a cloudy-like pokemon; Cottonee. It took him less than a second to figure out why you gave this to him. He looks at you in amusement.

“Is it because I have cloudy hair?” He asks, smiling. You nodded, smiling back at him brightly. He seems to like your present, judging by how happy he looks.

“A Trubbish would’ve been better. Since, you know, I’m lowly tra–” You put a hand over his mouth, muffling the last bit of that word.

You gave him a look and he just gives you a closed eyed smile. “Thank you again, (l/n)-kun/san. I feel embarrassed though. I didn’t get you anything.” He say, crossing his arms and frowning.

“It’s okay. You being here and being happy is more than enough.” You smile at him.

“But I want to make it up to–” He cuts himself off. Komaeda got an idea on how to repay you but he has to wait until twelve am exactly to do it. It’ll be worth the wait though~

Komaeda shyly reached for your hand and you let him take it, both of you blushing at the sight of your entwined fingers. You guys kept walking around the island, talking or playing random games with each other.

Currently he was singing to you some songs he came up at the top of his head a few moments ago. He sang two: zettai kibou birthday (absolute hope birthday) and zanka. You love his voice and were shocked to hear him sing. He was embarrassed you complimented on that. He denied your compliments though. He was dead set on believing he was pathetic scum with a nuisance of a voice.

It was nine pm now, three hours left until he can repay you. He would’ve done it earlier if it wasn’t today being the day it is. He walked you to the first island and pushed you towards everyone else, saying he has some business to talk care of. The truth is he feels you should get a break from him since he has been wasting your time for… How long has it been? Three hours? That sounds about right.

He fully intends to repay you, just know he’s going to feel guilty for doing it. You hung around the birthday boy and his girlfriend, Nanami.

He showed you the penguin Nanami gave you and asked you if he was salty. You nodded and he gives you a ‘really’ look. You stayed with him as he asked every attendant if he was salty. Everyone unanimously said yes which makes him go sulk in his emo corner, being an edgelord more than usual. Nanami and you talked to the salty birthday boy until it was eleven pm.

You and Nanami already gave him your guy’s presents. You just did the bit where you gave Nanami as a present.

“Hinata-kun, I think your going to love my present.” You said, putting an emphasis on “love”. Nanami blushes and he looks at you confused.

“What did you get me?” He asks, slightly worried.

You gently pushed Nanami forwards who was currently wearing a bow on top of her head and Hinata turned red. You used this as a distraction to slip away to find Komaeda.

You found him sitting on a bench at Jabberwock Park. You silently sat next to him and his eyes lit up at your presence. He gives you a small smile.

“I didn’t think you’d come back.” He admits, voicing out his worry. He was scared. He was scared that you were going to forget about him. He’s relieved to see you remembered him though. That must be his stroke of good luck. He stiffens, remembering bad luck will follow. He’s worried something’s going to happen to you.

“I’d never forget about you.” You reassured, your words making his eyes dilate even more. He heard just what he needed. It made him happy to hear you say that.

Fifteen minutes passed. Fourty-five more to go. You two talked about previous new years. Your experiences with them, if they were good or terrible. Your past resolutions your current resolutions, etc.

He smiles gently to himself. “I suppose it’s finding someone who loves me as much as I love them.”

“Do you have anyone in mind?” He merely gives you an innocent smile as a result making you roll your eyes playfully.

“Any goals?” You continued.

“Making sure everyone uses me to their potential. I want to continue to be a stepping stone for everyone. I want to be there the day hope and hope collides!” He says with his eyes sparkling.

He realizes who he’s talking to and laughs nervously. “Ah, sorry. You must think I’m insane or something along the line.”

“Please ignore that then. I’m just rambling. I say weird things when I ramble.” He says sheepishly, covering himself.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind Komaeda-kun.”

“(l/n)-kun/san…” He says in amazement.

His eyes dilate even more. “Thank you.”

Five minutes left. He continued to rant about hope and despair as you listened attentively making him flustered from the attention. Very soon, both of you heard a countdown going on.

“59, 58, 57, 56…” He looks at you, smiling.

Komaeda stood up and stretched as the counter reaches its forties.

“…45, 44, 43…” Komaeda offers you a hand and you take it.

“…37, 36, 35, 34, 33…” You both looked at each other fondly.

“Komaeda-kun, I’ve been meaning to ask you but do you love someone?”

“…29, 28, 27…”

“I do.” He answers calmly, unnerved by the countdown unlike you. He reaches for your hand and held it; squeezing it.

“…20, 19, 18, 17…”

“Who is it?”

“…13, 12, 11, 10, 9…”

He gives you a secretive smile and puts a finger to his lips, shushing you playfully.

“…6, 5, 4…” He cups your face, bending down to be eye to eye with you.

“…2…1…” Komaeda leans in and softly pressed his lips against yours. You responded immediately, kissing back. You guys pulled away in time to hear people sing happy birthday to Hinata.

You started to walk towards the exit but Komaeda pulls you back. “A little while longer?” He pleads.

You smile at him. “Not too long. I don’t want to miss cake.” You add making him laugh a bit.

~

Happy New Years! I hope everyone has a better year than the previous one

~ Mod Celeste

For specifics; they’re sleeping together and s/o woke up crying

~

Komaeda instinctively hugged you.

He was awake, thinking to himself.

He couldn’t sleep that night.

He’s lucky he was awake to comfort you.

Komaeda will worry about the bad luck later, but right now the most important thing is comforting you.

You hugged him back and cried into his white t-shirt.

After you’ve calmed down, you told him why you were crying.

He died in your nightmare.

He’s shocked you’d cry over his death.

Komaeda frowns.

He doesn’t have a long lifespan to begin with so his time’s coming soon.

He doesn’t like the despair you’re in right now.

What can he say to make you feel better?

Comfort was something he never understood.

He just hugged you tighter.

It was all he could do.

He’s useless, he knows.

Komaeda can’t even comfort his s/o right.

He’s such a terrible boyfriend.

It pains him to think about the truth; you’d be better off with someone else.

You stayed quiet, letting him hug you.

You were both quiet, just listening to world around you in silence.

You could hear the wind faintly whistling and the cars in the distance.

It was peaceful.

“(y/n)…” Komaeda speaks, his tone gentle.

“I know I’m not much, but I’ll always be here to protect you.” He gives you a small smile.

You weakly smiled back and pecked his cheek as a thanks.

“Love you.” His eyes lit up in happiness by your words.

He let’s go off you and tucked you in, making you feel like a little kid.

It doesn’t help that he’s taller–

He pecked your nose and left the room to wander around your guy’s house.

You closed your eyes, falling asleep once more.

~ Mod Celeste who’s finally posting again

For specifics: takes place in the despair arc

~

Everyone was out of it.

There are few who haven’t fallen victim to the aphrodisiac, but they wouldn’t last long.

Some were trying to restrain themselves or others.

That wasn’t the case with the luckster.

Looking at your crush, Komaeda Nagito the super high school level luckster, made your face heat up.

His face was flushed and his tie was loosened, looking a bit dazed.

Hmmm, maybe you could get lucky with him~

You leaned against his shoulder as you were sitting next to him, fiddling with his tie.

“Ah, (l/n)-kun/san~” His voice was as seductive as ever.

A bonus was it was husky which adds onto his attractiveness.

You blushed darkly.

Was it just you or is his voice sexier than usual?

“Doesn’t hope feel good~?” He laughs a bit.

He pats your head with a smirk.

“K-Komaeda-kun…” You whispered.

He hums in response.

You removed your head from his shoulder making him frown.

You quickly cupped his face and kissed him which makes him gasp in surprise.

You two were unfortunately taken apart by Yukizome afterwards due to the aphrodisiac wearing off.

You looked away from him, blushing darkly.

He, on the other hand, was touching his lips with a confused yet embarrassed expression.

~

As you can clearly see, I love writing about Nagito.

~ Mod Celeste

He likes doing things for your reactions solely.

He’ll grope you randomly.

He’ll teasingly nibble your nips.

He’ll even thrust his penis between them.

Before thrusting into you, he experiments what you like and don’t like.

He secretly strives to make you wet too.

Komaeda plays with your breasts a lot after sex if he hasn’t passed out.

He’s really cuddly after sex and likes to press your breasts against him just for physical contact.

If he feels like it, he’ll whisper into your ear while stroking your ear.

It entertains him to see goosebumps appear all over your skin.

He teases you by lightly kissing your chest–

Maybe making a hickey or two~

~

I ran out of ideas–

Merry late Chrysler, if you celebrate it. Happy holidays if you don't.

~ Mod Celeste

“You’re good for so many things and you’re blind to them all as you’re only priority is hope.” You were wrong. Komaeda had two priorities: hope and you. Hope’s first, as always. 

He chuckles. Your eyes widened as you suddenly noticed how close you two were and Yukizome and Koizumi were waiting impatiently for your lips to meet. Komaeda “innocently” smiles at you, slowly closing the distance, hands still entwined.

“(l/n)-senpai!~” Enoshima calls out. You turns your head at the last moment and Komaeda’s lips kissed your cheek. Komaeda sighs in disappointment and Enoshima smirks at his despair.

“Enoshima-san?” You said, confused. Enoshima walks over to you two.

“I was just walking by and wanting to say hi to my senpai~” Enoshima rhymes.

“Senpais.” Enoshima corrects herself as she pretends to notice Komaeda.

“I’ll go now, since my work is done.” Enoshima smirks, walking away. Komaeda sighs again.

“It’s getting late, we should head back.” You stood offering Komaeda your other hand as you were holding his other one. Komaeda took it and you walked back.

“Did you have fun Mr. I-dont-go-out?" 

"I did, (l/n)-san.” He blushes.

“If you don’t mind me being selfish and wasting your precious time, can we do this again?”

You nodded. “I don’t mind at all. If it’s to make my classmate happy I’ll gladly agree.”

You continued. “Besides, you’re fun to be with.” Komaeda’s cheeks flare up and you ‘aw’.

“Cute~” You pinched his cheek lightly making his cheeks flare up even more. 

“I-I’m not, (l/n)-san…” You pinched his nose, gently as you guys waited for Sakakura to open the gates.

“You are,” Sakakura nods at you and you smiled at him. Sakakura raises an eyebrow at you, noticing you were being accompanied. 

Komaeda walks you back to your dormitory and you hugged him. The sudden force makes him topple to the ground taking you with him. You were on top of him and Komaeda was on the bottom. You were straddling Komaeda, your noses touching. He nervously chuckles.

“I guess this is my bad luck since you asked me out today.” Komaeda says awkwardly. His eyes widened as he noticed how red you were, subconsciously his cheeks heat up as well.

You get off of him, in case anyone was watching. You helped him up.

“Sorry.” You apologized.

“No, it was my fault.” You rolled your eyes. This time, you cautiously hugged him, Komaeda slowly hugs back and held yoy too long. He didn’t notice you let go.

“Komaeda-kun, can you please let me go?” You ask, blushing. Komaeda hesitantly does so.

“Good night, Komaeda-kun.” You opened the door.