Shalvey's Musings

When reviewing best practices, blog posts, comments, white papers, slide decks, ad infinitum regarding how to write B2B Email Copy - a few points came up repeatedly. 

Personalize your subject line.

Address the problem in the subject line.

Personalize the first paragraph and form some connection (regardless of how tenuous)

Keep to one CTA per email. Do you want a call back? A meeting? An email? Pick one and stick to it.

Let them know you will follow this email up with a phone call in a few days. 

Now, besides these specific touch points, there is also the issue of length. Specifically, emails should be as short as possible. A general metric of around 5 sentences total was mentioned by more than one source. 

The question quickly becomes, in a world where everyone is trying to get their voice heard, and differentiate their product/company/solution from the next guy/gal - is it even possible to do this while remaining in these prescribed lengths? 

For example, given the parameters I have laid out above, here is a sample email:

Subject: Hi Carol, I noticed You've Created a Great Piece of Content - Are You Getting the Best Possible Exposure For It?

Hi Carol,

This is Bill at Nero Corporation - I saw your great Infographic on the Best Type of Content for B2B Decision Makers and I wanted to make sure that you are getting the most mileage as possible out of it.

NetLine can offer you an audience of 75 million unique visitors a month, and can reliably deliver the kinds of leads your sales team needs. Our video [Link to video] gives a simple overview of what we can deliver.

I understand you're busy, and I'll follow up with a call in the next two days to touch base.

Thanks,

Bill

Now, compare this with the following example - an actual email template sent to me by one of our salesmen (a good one too for the record).

Hello ________,

  I am trying to find the appropriate person responsible for online B2B lead generation and demand creation activities at COMPANY.  Nero Corporation’s (www.NotARealWebsite.com) multi-channel distribution network allows for a greater reach to your target market through a combination of B2B niche web sites, blogs, e-mail newsletters, social media groups, mobile platforms and RSS feeds that reach more than 75 million unique business professionals on a monthly basis.  Here’s a link to our 2-minute video.

  Among a suite of solutions that we offer are:

  Content Syndication (CPL programs) - Targeting sales leads interested in your products filtered by occupation level, company size and geo-specific targeting using your digital content such as white papers, webinars, etc.  Please check out all of our current clients’ content on www.website.com

PPC/CPM display advertising - Leveraging our extensive B2B content syndication network to provide high-end visibility to your target audience while delivering on your branding and demand generation campaigns

  If you are indeed the appropriate person for me to speak with, please allow me to demonstrate how we can speed up your sales cycle and increase your ROI by using Nero's suite of solutions.  Would you be available for a 15 minute online demo of our platform this or next week?

  To be removed from future e-mails, please reply with REMOVE in the subject field.

Now, the differences between these examples are striking. For one, the second version is much larger. Here are the numbers for comparison:

Version A

Words: 102

Characters (w/ spaces): 534

Paragraphs: 3

Lines: 13

Version B

Words: 210

Characters (w/ spaces): 1,355

Paragraphs: 4

Lines: 23

So, given the stark differences between the two choices, which will convert better? Version B has the advantage of information - it delivers the company's value props, it offers supporting evidence, and supplies links for further research.

Version A has the advantage of brevity and directness. It gives a much clearer decision point and intended follow through than does Version B. 

DRAFT

Today's online space is cluttered with a million players, organizations, people, (and cats) vying for the attention of the huddled masses. How are you, the business marketer, expected to not only reach a customer, but keep their attention and start to develop a trusted relationship that will eventually turn profitable?

A difficult question, made more difficult by the fact that there are a multitude of people simultaneously trying to figure it out. The idea of being the first, or the best, needs to be removed from your thought process. With something of the scale of the internet, it's simply not possible. However, re imagining your interactions in a more real-world setting makes the problem slightly less daunting. 

I cannot describe to you how happy I am that LeBron James finally won the NBA Title. The amount of snarkiness, attack-journalism, and baseless judgements thrown his way have become tiresome... James screwed up with the Decision, agreed. He handled it as badly as a 25 year old with a ton of money would. However, when's the last time a professional athlete who took less money to win championships took this much heat? (you see what I did there?)

My feelings about LeBron James are entirely based on the fact that I believe he is the most freakish blend of talent, vision, size, and speed that the NBA has ever seen. Hell, that the NFL has seen. He's like Mike Vick crossed with Peyton and a dash of Jim Drunkenmiller (who was drafted by the 49ers after impressing scouts by dragging something heavy across a football field - but I digress). The fact that an athlete this special, in a sport this competitive at the moment, to be raked through the coals for every single thing he does or does not do is crazy. Criticism, yes. Unbridled mocking and derision? No.

Greeny (of Mike & Mike fame) made a pertinent comment to this argument I believe. His son, and all his classmates, are growing up and the player they idolize is LeBron James above everyone. I understand that you could argue that there's a generation of kids who grew up in Seattle idolizing Shawn Kemp for similar reasons, and he's not that great, but basketball is dead in Seattle so that point is moot. The important part here is that those who watch the game with a naive eye, one unfiltered by propaganda, or historical comparisons, look at LeBron James play basketball and say, "I want to be THAT guy." I believe there is some value there.

Bill Simmons (who has led me to hate a certain Ohio State ex-player because he wants to adopt HIM) said that LeBron James' base motivation was to 'Amaze' - as opposed to Jordan's 'Vanquish' or Wilts' 'Stats.' However, I believe that's unfair. LeBron James actually isn't that flashy on the court most times - if anything he uses brute strength and power over glitz and glam. I mean, it's Rondo who has a move named after him, not LeBron. Also, a player who averages as many assists as LeBron does from the forward position is NOT looking to amaze in my opinion. These aren't behind the back/no look passes - these are (usually) making the smart basketball play at the right time (Evidenced by Mike Miller's 3 point outburst in Game 5, which will forever be remembered as the last time Mike Miller was relevant).

And then there's Kobe Bryant. Listen, I hate Kobe. Passionately. However, I absolutely respect what he's brought to the game, and he will deservedly go down as one of the all time greats. (I also hope he 'goes down' Tiger-style shortly after he retires - after because I don't want to watch a 'Behind The Lines' in twenty years with Kobe saying he would have shattered every record if (insert Tiger-like incident here) didn't happen. But for all the vitriol and criticism Kobe has earned received, he was never placed on a pedestal in order to better lob stones at than LeBron.

Just checking out this space - never used it before. Interested by how quickly it's growing - totally ok with any help on where to look, how to use it effectively, etc.