Whatever This Is

skippign and scooting across a barren wasteland that looked goregous but i kept tripping over my feet and skinning my legs and elbows on the stupid bullshit barren rock so hard i start crying and wailing like a babe in the woods but i forgot id taken like fifteen tabs of lcd a fewminutes previous so when the paramedics came i thgought it was aliens and started presenting my foul ass to them for probing because ive got a thing for that sorta stuff but it made them so angry they strapped me to their stretcher and sent my flying over an embankment into a gross ravine while i couldnt move my arms or legs but i was still tripping HARD and thouyght id finally made it to middle earth so when a horrible old man came by i tried getting him to carry me to rivendel but his piece of shit dad used to beat him with the lord of the rings books so he got pissed and took all my shit and told me i was smeagol so i spent the rest of my trip tryign to catch gross ravine fish and frogs and slugs with my lips

met a bunch of peopel who i thoght were cool because they were into these niche japanese rpg games about teenagers daelign with their usual bullshit so to learn more about their interests i tried to go undercover at the highschool near my dealers place but their securityt is locked down tight and they spotted me coming a mile away and didnt undertsand that i was there to learn how to relate to people so they kicked my ass to the curb and sprayed me with a hose so i just played the rpg games anyways and didnt even like them and they made me sad in ways i hadnt felt before so i guess i unclocked a new form of sadness and even further alienated myself from another group of cool friends i couldve made and also caught pneumonia from being sprayed with a hose in minus bajillion degree weather

becoming a regular at my gym lately because i was told by soembody who hates me that working out reallty hard after drinking helps with the hangover but im starting to think they didnt have my best inertersts at heart when they said that because i keep puking at th gym and people keep noticing al the puke around and when i show up at 5am to work off my horrible gin agony they call the gym employees who chase me away with brooms and those big inflatable gym balls which is honestly degrading but i keep goign because all the gym employees havent learned to recognzine me yet and i NEED a soluton to my many daily anmd debilitating hangovers and i cant afford tyelnol but i cAN afford a fake gym membership that my stupdi nephew made for me in art class

feeling liek eve in the garden of eden because a really sketchy lady with a sickass snakeskin jacket tried seelign me some kickass knives and blades and batons for a reasonable price but i rememebred my lessons of thge bible and denied the serpent its temptations but it turned out the lady was a fed anyways and was just rtyign to confirm my identity before siccing her dogs on me (more feds) who were kicking my head aroudn because ive been sendign them all gross seaweeds and dead fish from the beach to their personal houses that i found on my pensive beahc walks so basically ive made myself an enemy of the state on municipal provincial and federal levels due to my rudeness and breachig of well protected databases but i dunno if therye really that well protected if a dumbshit like me and my buddy coudl pierce their hull so quickly and easiily after several swigs of southern comfort wich tastes like cough syrup but worse

finally saught therpapy after all those annyoign mesages from friends and family saying i was off the rails and baffling in my communications with them but the therapist spent all of fifteen minutes hearing about my dumbshit material conditions and told me to get out because iw as making him question his commitment to the mantra of Hare Krishna which is a favour i did for him if ytou ask me because those weirdos are bald and creepy anyways even jerry seinfeld made fun of them and he got wrangled into that lord xenu sciencolology bullhonky so his standards are already abysmal and laughable