Alternative Facts

Abraham Lincoln won 74 consecutive boxing matches against confederate slave owners.

Gummy bears were invented by the Dutch in 1397.

In Medieval combat more people were killed by people throwing rocks than by swords or arrows.

Slavery was invented by Native Americans, who taught the practice to European colonists.

Before the invention of the Atari and the video game boom that resulted, gun related violence had never occured.

Scientists predict that within 200 years human beings will evolve to have feet without a pinky toe.

Due to maps warping the true dimensions of landmasses, Iceland is actually bigger than mainland USA.

Most gun deaths in Australia are the results of kangaroos finding discarded weapons. 

Mutated corn is the #1 cause of cancer in the USA.

The largest animal in the world is a giant lobster that lives in the Marianas trench that is 5 times larger than a blue whale.

In 2009 a Russian reporter mysteriously disappeared after publishing an article about Vladimir Putin’s secret teddy bear collection.

Ross Perot has received the most votes of any third party presidential candidate in America.

Before mass extinctions, the 7 horned rhinoceros was the most common animal in Africa.

Ninety percent of the world’s squirt guns are manufactured in Luxembourg. 

Aardvarks have the longest lasting memory of any mammal.

Shasta is the #1 soda brand outside of North America.

Harrison Ford originally auditioned for the part of Chewbacca instead of Han Solo, but wasn’t tall enough.