The RFFL

Just wanted to send a reminder that the draft is absolutely August 13 - the second Saturday in August. Was asked last week about it, dawned on me that I might not have specifically stated that, or if I did, it may have been buried in another rambling. With that being the case, that means there are thirty one days from today to announce your protection lists.  Perfect time to remind all to bookmark this link -  - put it on your homescreen, your bookmarks, your favorites, or however you access frequent web sites (Trav, you probably have to wait for the next AOL CD-Rom in the mail to install it)  This is going to be where you'll be able to find everything not on fleaflicker (or future hosting sites), particularly important stuff like rookie protection, future picks, transactions and the draft order (all of which is up there now). Eventually our entire 16 season history will be there as I can finally migrate all the Excel files I used to copy and paste to the old geocities site there, but that's an ongoing side project. The only thing I don't have that's pertinent to this year yet is the transaction monies owed, but you can get a general idea of what you owe by looking up your own transax on the flicker. I have purposely NOT activated the site for 2016 yet because I need to log the transax, and clone some box scores too. Having only used it for one season I'm not sure how much - if any - info I'd lose by turning the page from 2015 to 2016, so just letting you know it's not commish negligence, it's precaution.  As is the tradition, the Madden will be providing food and beer. The League Office has a new grill capable of cooking Thanksgiving Dinner if we so choose, combined with the smoker in our satellite offices in Hackensack, motivation to keep losing Pro Bowls is at an all time high.  August 13 is also coincidentally the celebration of that one magical night twenty years ago that just about all of us celebrated in the cozy confines of Pine Hall, as the Stump Merrill 2.0 Yanks will be honoring the 1996 World Series Champions. Anyone who would like to arrive early to view the festivities on the deck is more than welcome to do so, while we have some drinks and remember how much better Joe Girardi was than Brian McCann, Tino Martinez than Mark Teixiera, Mariano Duncan than Starlin Castro, Boggs/Hayes than Chase Headley, Paul O'Neil than Carlos Beltran, Bernie Williams than Jacoby Ellsbury, Tim Raines than Brett Gardner, Darryl Strawberry than Bitch Tits, Cone/Key/Pettitte/Rogers than Tanaka/Sabathia/Pineada/Eovaldi and Mo/Wettland than Betances/Miller/Chapman. Wow. This team really sucks.  

Whiskey Dicks send their 2016 Third Round Pick (Olsen.  From: Ed Hanratty To: Rffltumbler ; Michael T. Woods ; Travis Reap ; Sean Hanratty ; Brian Thompson ; Erik Peterson ; Eric Couillard ; Joaquim Johnson ; Mark Sprengel ; Gary Burmeister Sent: Monday, June 6, 2016 2:05 PM Subject: 2016 RFFL Rosters (Save This) While they're on the fleaflicker site, this is  - to the best of my knowledge - a comprehensive one-page view of all rosters including the free protection draft classes and a new feature I added this year: players listed in purple who are ineligible to be protected as they were playoff emergency pickups.  You can find the rosters in folder I shared a few weeks ago HERE There's also a tab for future picks traded on the document. In conjunction with the draft link previously shared, that should give you just about everything else you need for the summer with the exception of transaction fees. I hope to have them calculated by the end of the month though if you're curious, you can find out how many you made pretty easily on FF.  Time for the annual tradition of raising a High Life to the draftees that maintained their free protection through all three seasons:  Giovani BernardMarkus WheatonLe'Veon Bell Eddie LacyTerrance WilliamsAndre Ellington DeAndre Hopkins Knile Davis  More importantly, please double check the free protection, especially of your players. There's no way to connotate them on FF (and there wasn't on ESPN either) so as they get dropped they lose the status. Some players (Davonte Adams, Austin Serafin Jenkins for example) get dropped and reclaimed so when I juxtapose it against the protection list, things can get a little tricky.  Now I'm going to take off my Commissioner's Helmet and put on my Whiskey Dicks New Era fitted cap:  I'm open for trading as I presently have 1 slot that's not jumping out at me even though I'm comfortable keeping Phil Rivers for insurance or Denver's D to fill out the lineup.  What I would look to acquire: *A Top 10 QB *A Top 15 RB *A Top 5 TE  I have no interest in a Wide Receiver unless Mark wants to be generous (and with Calvin gone, I'm sure that won't be happening)  Here's what's completely untouchable in Whiskeyland: *Ezekiel Elliot (aka my 2016 1st Round pick) *Jameis Winston *David Johnson *DeAndre Hopkins and these 3 clowns I won't "sell low on" Nelson Agholor Melvin Gordon 

While they're on the fleaflicker site, this is - to the best of my knowledge - a comprehensive one-page view of all rosters including the free protection draft classes and a new feature I added this year: players listed in purple who are ineligible to be protected as they were playoff emergency pickups. You can find the rosters in folder I shared a few weeks ago HERE There's also a tab for future picks traded on the document. In conjunction with the draft link previously shared, that should give you just about everything else you need for the summer with the exception of transaction fees. I hope to have them calculated by the end of the month though if you're curious, you can find out how many you made pretty easily on FF. Time for the annual tradition of raising a High Life to the draftees that maintained their free protection through all three seasons: Giovani Bernard Markus Wheaton Le'Veon Bell Eddie Lacy Terrance Williams Andre Ellington DeAndre Hopkins Knile Davis More importantly, please double check the free protection, especially of your players. There's no way to connotate them on FF (and there wasn't on ESPN either) so as they get dropped they lose the status. Some players (Davonte Adams, Austin Serafin Jenkins for example) get dropped and reclaimed so when I juxtapose it against the protection list, things can get a little tricky. Now I'm going to take off my Commissioner's Helmet and put on my Whiskey Dicks New Era fitted cap: I'm open for trading as I presently have 1 slot that's not jumping out at me even though I'm comfortable keeping Phil Rivers for insurance or Denver's D to fill out the lineup. What I would look to acquire: *A Top 10 QB *A Top 15 RB *A Top 5 TE I have no interest in a Wide Receiver unless Mark wants to be generous (and with Calvin gone, I'm sure that won't be happening) Here's what's completely untouchable in Whiskeyland: *Ezekiel Elliot (aka my 2016 1st Round pick) *Jameis Winston *David Johnson *DeAndre Hopkins and these 3 clowns I won't "sell low on" Nelson Agholor Melvin Gordon

Horesplay may have met it's match after a 3 game losing streak, the Dicks look a little deflated. But the veterans on this team are stressing that the playoffs are a new season, everybody is 0-0. Coach Sandusky has handled his job brilliantly this year. Brought in to give guidance to the youngsters, a playoff spot is more than was ever anticipated. And though they're underdogs again, he said he felt home staying this week in Em City. Never underestimate a comfortable toucher. After bottoming out last season with the worst year in franchise history, the squad looks back on track....... QB: Jameis "The part I was born to play, baby" Winston RB: David "The River" Johnson RB: Ryan "I hit this corner with my foot on the gas" Matthews WR: DeAndre "DeGiant" Hopkins WR: Brandon "Wish Me Love A Wishing" LaFell TE: Gary "Wrapped Around Your Finger" Barnidge K: Josh "Leaves that are green turn to" Brown D: Denver "Cockmeat Sandwich" Broncos OT1: Phillip "You ever see the Leftovers?" Rivers OT2: Melvin "Commissioner" Gordon OT3: Golden "Hey Bweda, How My Dick" Tate OT4: Alfred "Shelia" Morris OT5: Jordy "Faaathaaah" Nelson

QB: Garcia, Jeff 22   QB: Warner, Kurt 36 RB: Alexander, Shaun 26   RB: Faulk, Marshall 39 RB: Rhodes, Dominic 22   RB: Williams, Ricky 5 WR: Coles, Laveranues 8   WR: Boston, David 3 WR: Ismail, Qadry 4   WR: Smith, Jimmy 13 TE: Franks, Bubba 15   TE: Cleeland, Cameron 0 K: Longwell, Ryan 7   K: Akers, David 3 D: Packers 34   D: Eagles 4     138     TOTAL 103 2007 RFFL PLAYOFFS RIMMERBOWL VIII (2) ADIBISI'S TITS   (1) WHISKEY DICKS POS PLAYER PTS   POS PLAYER PTS QB Brees, Drew 29   QB McNabb, Donovan 49 RB Maroney, Lawrence 22   RB Peterson, Adrian 6 RB Smith, Kolby 13   RB Addai, Joseph 10 WR Burress, Plaxico 1   WR Wayne, Reggie 21 WR Gonzalez, Anthony 3   WR Chambers, Chris 15 TE Cooley, Chris 10   TE Winslow, Kellen  8 K Bironas, Rod 4   K Reed, Jeff 11 D Patriots 19   D Titans 18 TOTAL SCORE 101   TOTAL SCORE 138 2012 RFFL PLAYOFFS WILD CARD ROUND   (6) whiskey dicks   (3) adibisi's tits POS PLAYER PTS   POS PLAYER PTS QB Newton, Cam 59   QB Rodgers, Aaron 28 RB Murray, DeMarco 15   RB Rice, Ray 21 RB Brown, Bryce 2   RB Ridley, Stevan 14 WR White, Roddy 21   WR Thomas, Demaryus 9 WR Nicks, Hakeem 13   WR Bryant, Dez 12 TE Gonzalez, Tony 9   TE Daniels, Owen 3 K Tynes, Lawrence 10   K Bryant, Matt 2 D Broncos 8   D Browns 24 TOTAL SCORE 137   TOTAL SCORE 113

STO v WILD

good afternoon rffltumbler [email protected] michael t. woods

Kinda swamped so may not get to box scores/High Scorers/HLMOW till later today/some point tomorrow, but since it's Deadline Week, here's a quick look at what the standings look like in regards to the playoffs: (1) HHR v Bye (2) CLAP v Bye (3) WILD v (6) OWF (4) WD v (5) AT Spikemeisters and Shocker are both one game behind the Fetish for the 6 seed. Stoagies and Baba Loos are both 2 games behind the 6 seed. Possible (But unofficial) clinching scenarios: The Madden Division can not be clinched this week. The Sumerall Division can be clinched by HHR with a Win AND an AT Loss Playoff Berths: He Hate Retail can clinch a playoff berth with a win OR losses by SHO and SPI Clap can clinch a playoff berth with a win OR losses by SHO and SPI Wild Rovers can clinch a playoff berth with a win AND losses by SHO and SPI Whiskey Dicks can clinch a playoff berth with a win AND losses by SHO and SPI I haven't looked at all tiebreakers but there's a strong possibility that the Stoagies and Baba Loos can be eliminated with losses and wins by AT and OWF.

Nobody thought 6 wins was possible, let alone to be 6-2 and tied for first in the division. But the league has learned to not underestimate the power ofted with a clear intention to rebuild, the whispers have begun to emerge from 1 Bill Cowher way that the Dicks may ultimately be buyers in advance of next week's trading deadline. The Backfield Of Dreams has slightly underperformed though new additions like Orleans Darkwa and Alfred Morris show some big time Horseplay potential, but Team President Bill Cowher may look to outside help as the franchise feels like it would be a waste of a potentially record breaking season for Phillip Rivers. Rivers himself was rumored to be on the market not long ago, as the Dicks felt strongly that the rookie was ready, but after a heart to heart with management, Rivers stated that he really wanted his name mentioned with Jeff Garcia and Donovan McNabb as Rimmer Bowl Winning Dicks, and most importantly said "The right place for a man with seven kids is here with Coach Sandusky". Underdogs yet again, but we'll face the Rovers with..... OT: Jameis "Eel Slap" Winston

Sorry it took so long to get this first report out. The time I normally use each week for archiving and calculating RFFL stats and records has been eaten up significantly by draft kings/fanduel research this year but I've finally been able to come close to catching up. These will all be viewable via the link on the tumblr or the same bookmark it's always been by next week I hope. Ignore typos repeats like Dough Martin, Tyler Eiffert and I'm sure a bunch of K's and D's - I haven't gotten to sorting/merging the players who've appeared on multiple teams. Again, this is solely based on started players.... | Player | Pos | PTS | GP | PPG | TEAM | | RIVERS, PHILLIP | QB | 335 | 7 | 47.9 | WD | | PALMER, CARSON | QB | 300 | 7 | 42.9 | HHR | | MANNING, ELI | QB | 251 | 7 | 35.9 | SHO | | RODGERS, AARON | QB | 236 | 6 | 39.3 | AT | | WILSON, RUSSELL | QB | 210 | 6 | 35.0 | STO | | BRADY, TOM | QB | 201 | 4 | 50.3 | CLP | | DALTON, ANDY | QB | 199 | 4 | 49.8 | WILD | | BREES, DREW | QB | 188 | 5 | 37.6 | OWF | | MANNING, PEYTON | QB | 183 | 6 | 30.5 | BL | | STAFFORD, MATT | QB | 137 | 4 | 34.3 | SPI | | HOPKINS, DEANDRE | WR | 130 | 7 | 18.6 | WD | | BRONCOS | D | 125 | 6 | 20.8 | BL | | JONES, JULIO | WR | 118 | 7 | 16.9 | AT | | ALLEN, KEENAN | WR | 116 | 7 | 16.6 | STO | | RYAN, MATT | QB | 115 | 3 | 38.3 | CLP | | INGRAM, MARK | RB | 108 | 7 | 15.4 | WILD | | FREEMAN, DEVONTE | RB | 106 | 4 | 26.5 | AT | | GRONKOWSKI, ROB | TE | 105 | 6 | 17.5 | AT | | CARDINALS | D | 103 | 7 | 14.7 | SPI | | FITZGERALD, LARRY | WR | 99 | 6 | 16.5 | WILD | | FORTE, MATT | RB | 97 | 6 | 16.2 | SPI | | BROWN, ANTONIO | WR | 97 | 7 | 13.9 | OWF | | EDELMAN, JULIAN | WR | 94 | 6 | 15.7 | CLP | | CHARLES, JAMAAL  | RB | 89 | 5 | 17.8 | WILD | | PANTHERS | D | 89 | 6 | 14.8 | OWF | | BELL, LEVIAN  | RB | 87 | 5 | 17.4 | OWF | | RAMS | D | 86 | 5 | 17.2 | HHR | | SEAHAWKS | D | 85 | 7 | 12.1 | AT | | JOHNSON, CALVIN | WR | 84 | 7 | 12.0 | HHR | | BECKHAM, ODELL  | WR | 81 | 7 | 11.6 | HHR | | SANDERS, EMMANUEL  | WR | 80 | 6 | 13.3 | BL | | PETERSON, ADRIAN | RB | 76 | 5 | 15.2 | CLP | | THOMAS, DEMARYIUS | WR | 75 | 6 | 12.5 | WILD | | BRADFORD, SAM | QB | 74 | 2 | 37.0 | SPI | | MURRAY, DEMARCO | RB | 74 | 6 | 12.3 | BL | | ROMO, TONY | QB | 73 | 2 | 36.5 | WILD | | HILTON, TY | WR | 73 | 6 | 12.2 | BL | | GOSTKOWSKI, S | K | 73 | 7 | 10.4 | OWF | | GORE, FRANK | RB | 71 | 6 | 11.8 | HHR | | TANNEHILL, RYAN | QB | 68 | 2 | 34.0 | OWF | | ROBINSON, ALLEN | WR | 67 | 5 | 13.4 | SHO | | COBB, REGGIE | WR | 66 | 6 | 11.0 | STO | | KELCE, TRAVIS | TE | 66 | 7 | 9.4 | SHO | | JETS | D | 63 | 5 | 12.6 | STO | | RANDLE, JOSEPH | RB | 63 | 5 | 12.6 | STO | | MCCOY, LESEAN | RB | 62 | 5 | 12.4 | OWF | | TUCKER, JUSTIN | K | 61 | 7 | 8.7 | STO | | PATRIOTS | D | 60 | 5 | 12.0 | WILD | | FOSTER, ARIAN | RB | 59 | 3 | 19.7 | CLP | | GRAHAM, JIMMY | TE | 57 | 7 | 8.1 | HHR | | LYNCH, MARSHAWN | RB | 56 | 5 | 11.2 | BL | | HILL, JEREMY | RB | 54 | 4 | 13.5 | AT | | MARTIN, DOUGH | RB | 53 | 2 | 26.5 | HHR | | LUCK, ANDREW | QB | 52 | 1 | 52.0 | AT | | McMANUS, BRANDON | K | 52 | 5 | 10.4 | CLP | | WITTEN, JASON | TE | 52 | 6 | 8.7 | WILD | | MARSHALL, BRANDON | WR | 51 | 4 | 12.8 | AT | | YELDON, TJ | RB | 50 | 4 | 12.5 | SHO | | CROSBY, MASON | K | 50 | 6 | 8.3 | BL | | BARNIDGE, GARY  | TE | 49 | 3 | 16.3 | WD | | BENNETT, MARTELLUS | TE | 49 | 6 | 8.2 | OWF | | OLSEN, GREG | TE | 48 | 5 | 9.6 | STO | | BRYANT, MATT | K | 47 | 7 | 6.7 | HHR | | HOYER, BRIAN | QB | 45 | 1 | 45.0 | BL | | GURLEY, TODD | RB | 45 | 2 | 22.5 | AT | | GIANTS | D | 44 | 3 | 14.7 | SHO | | GORDON, MEL  | RB | 44 | 6 | 7.3 | WD | | ROETHLISBERGER, B | QB | 43 | 1 | 43.0 | STO | | IVORY, CHRIS | RB | 43 | 3 | 14.3 | CLP | | JOHNSON, DUKE | RB | 43 | 4 | 10.8 | SHO | | LANDRY, JARVIS | WR | 41 | 3 | 13.7 | SHO | | MATTHEWS, JORDAN | WR | 41 | 4 | 10.3 | OWF | | CLAY, CHARLES | TE | 39 | 4 | 9.8 | CLP | | ELLINGTON, ANDRE | RB | 39 | 5 | 7.8 | WD | | GATES, ANTONIO | TE | 38 | 2 | 19.0 | STO | | BROWN, JOSH | K | 38 | 5 | 7.6 | WD | | COUSINS, KIRK | QB | 37 | 1 | 37.0 | SPI | | COOPER, AMARI  | WR | 37 | 3 | 12.3 | OWF | | BILLS | D | 37 | 4 | 9.3 | WD | | JANIKOWSKI, SEBA | K | 37 | 5 | 7.4 | WILD | | PRATER, MATT | K | 37 | 7 | 5.3 | SHO | | WOODHEAD, DANNY | RB | 36 | 2 | 18.0 | STO | | FORSETT, JUSTIN | RB | 36 | 4 | 9.0 | AT | | WALKER, DELANIE | TE | 36 | 5 | 7.2 | BL | | REED, JORDAN | TE | 35 | 2 | 17.5 | SPI | | JONES, JAMES | WR | 34 | 3 | 11.3 | SPI | | MILLER, LAMAR | RB | 33 | 3 | 11.0 | HHR | | MURRAY, LATAVIUS | RB | 32 | 3 | 10.7 | STO | | BORTLES, BLAKE | QB | 30 | 1 | 30.0 | WILD | | BROWN, JOHN | WR | 30 | 3 | 10.0 | CLP | | GREEN, AJ  | WR | 30 | 4 | 7.5 | SHO | | BAILEY, DAN | K | 29 | 4 | 7.3 | SPI | | VINATIERRI, ADAM | K | 29 | 7 | 4.1 | AT | | WILLIAMS, DEANGELO | RB | 28 | 1 | 28.0 | OWF | | RAWLS, THOMAS | RB | 27 | 2 | 13.5 | BL | | SEFERIAN-JENKINS, A | TE | 27 | 2 | 13.5 | WD | | HAUSSHKA, STEVEN | K | 27 | 3 | 9.0 | SPI | | CHIEFS | D | 26 | 2 | 13.0 | STO | | FALCONS  | D | 26 | 3 | 8.7 | CLP | | WILLIAMS, TERENCE | WR | 26 | 3 | 8.7 | SPI | | LACY, EDDIE | RB | 25 | 4 | 6.3 | SHO | | PACKERS | D | 24 | 1 | 24.0 | OWF | | LEWIS, DIEON | RB | 23 | 2 | 11.5 | STO | | JOHNSON, DAVID | RB | 23 | 2 | 11.5 | WD | | JOHNSON, CHRIS | RB | 22 | 2 | 11.0 | OWF | | CROWELL, ISIAH  | RB | 19 | 2 | 9.5 | CLP | | COLEMAN, TEVIN | RB | 19 | 2 | 9.5 | SHO | | FLEENER, COLBY | TE | 19 | 2 | 9.5 | BL | | GARCON, PIERRE | WR | 19 | 3 | 6.3 | SPI | | HILLMAN, RONNIE | RB | 17 | 2 | 8.5 | SPI | | CAMERON, JORDAN | TE | 17 | 3 | 5.7 | SPI | | SPROLES, DARREN | RB | 16 | 1 | 16.0 | BL | | EAGLES | D | 16 | 2 | 8.0 | WILD | | MACLIN, JEREMY | WR | 16 | 2 | 8.0 | CLP | | GREEN, LADARIUS | TE | 15 | 1 | 15.0 | OWF | | SANTOS, CAIRO | K | 15 | 2 | 7.5 | WILD | | HYDE, CARLOS | RB | 15 | 2 | 7.5 | STO | | WATKINS, SAMMY | WR | 15 | 2 | 7.5 | SHO | | WALLACE, MIKE | WR | 14 | 3 | 4.7 | SPI | | BRYANT, MARTAVUS | WR | 13 | 1 | 13.0 | STO | | DONNELL, LARRY | TE | 13 | 2 | 6.5 | SPI | | AGHOLOR, NELSON | WR | 13 | 4 | 3.3 | WD | | ANDERSON, CJ | RB | 12 | 3 | 4.0 | SPI | | POWELL, BILAL  | RB | 11 | 2 | 5.5 | HHR | | EIFFERT, TYLER | TE | 10 | 1 | 10.0 | CLP | | PARKEY, CODEY | K | 10 | 2 | 5.0 | WD | | EBRON, ERIC | TE | 10 | 2 | 5.0 | WD | | COOKS, BRANDIN | WR | 10 | 2 | 5.0 | CLP | | STEWART, JONATHAN | RB | 9 | 1 | 9.0 | OWF | | GREEN-BECKHAM, D | WR | 9 | 1 | 9.0 | WD | | SNEAD, WILLIE | WR | 9 | 2 | 4.5 | WD | | RAVENS | D | 8 | 1 | 8.0 | WD | | CANTANZARO, CHA | K | 8 | 1 | 8.0 | CLP | | OLIVER, BRANDEN | RB | 8 | 1 | 8.0 | WD | | SMITH, STEVE | WR | 8 | 1 | 8.0 | BL | | JEFFREY, ALSHON | WR | 8 | 1 | 8.0 | WILD | | BENGALS | D | 7 | 1 | 7.0 | HHR | | LAMBO, JOSH  | K | 7 | 1 | 7.0 | BL | | SIMS, CHARLES | RB | 7 | 1 | 7.0 | SPI | | MARTIN, DOUGH | RB | 7 | 1 | 7.0 | CLP | | EIFFERT, TYLER | TE | 7 | 1 | 7.0 | AT | | RIDDICK, THEO | RB | 6 | 1 | 6.0 | SPI | | ERTZ, ZACH | TE | 5 | 1 | 5.0 | WILD | | DAVIS, VERNON | TE | 5 | 1 | 5.0 | CLP | | BRYANT, DEZ | WR | 5 | 1 | 5.0 | CLP | | BENJAMIN, TRAVIS | WR | 5 | 1 | 5.0 | WILD | | TATE, GOLDEN | WR | 5 | 2 | 2.5 | SPI | | EVANS, MIKE | WR | 5 | 3 | 1.7 | AT | | STEELERS  | D | 4 | 1 | 4.0 | WD | | JENNINGS, RASHAD | RB | 4 | 1 | 4.0 | HHR | | JACKSON, VINCENT | WR | 4 | 1 | 4.0 | BL | | DOLPHINS | D | 4 | 4 | 1.0 | SHO | | WASHINGTON | D | 3 | 1 | 3.0 | BL | | MICHAEL, CHRISTINE | RB | 3 | 1 | 3.0 | WILD | | TEXANS | D | 3 | 4 | 0.8 | CLP | | BLUE, ALFRED | RB | 2 | 1 | 2.0 | SPI | | VEREEN, SHANE | RB | 1 | 1 | 1.0 | WILD | | THOMAS, JULIUS | TE | 1 | 1 | 1.0 | CLP | | BARTH, CONNOR | K | 0 | 1 | 0.0 | CLP | | LIONS | D | -1 | 1 | -1.0 | WD | | JAGUARS | D | -6 | 1 | -6.0 | HHR |

A tight race this week, as a young running back continues to rise in Em City and a defensive unit comes up huge in North Arlington. But the 25 points netted by Jordan Reed for the Spikemeisters brought the team back from the dead and square in the middle of the playoff race, earning his first ever award and the Spikemeisters 9th in their history.

| POS | PLAYER | TEAM | PTS | | QB | TOM BRADY | CLAP | 56 | | RB | TODD GURLEY | AT | 29 | | RB | D WOODHEAD | STO | 28 | | WR | TY HILTON | BL | 28 | | WR | J LANDRY  | SHO | 22 | | TE | JORDAN REED | SPI | 25 | | K | S.GOSTKOWSKI | OWF | 12 | | D | RAMS  | D | 31 |

As expected, the Clap held off the Dicks but the other three finishes were completely undecided well into the fourth quarter of a game that was too close for way too long. Bruce Arians has no respect for the Bed Times O' The Bunk. He Hate Retail benefited from the Cardinals absolute refusal to run as Carson Palmer threw for 38 yards when they should have really been letting the clock run off and making Baltimore burn their time outs. The difference in the game - in which the Stoagies had OT? 3 points At the bottom of the Summerall, Steve Smith came oh so close and had enough targets, but just couldn't do it, falling 12 yards (or 3 receptions or a score) shy of the 10 points needed and the Shocker pull the Baba Loos down into a basement tie. Finally at the Spikedome, a true toss up given the potential of the Monday Night combatants ends in favor of the Spikemeisters, who now find themselves tied for the final playoff spot, though OWF has them on points as they have yet to play head to head. If it ended today.....  (1) He Hate Retail v Bye (on points) (2) Clap v Bye (Division H2H) (3) Whiskey Dicks v (6) OW's Fetishes (points) (4) Wild Rovers v (5) Adibisi's Tits (H2H) The finals.... | WEEK 7, 2015 | | GAME OF THE WEEK | | clap | @ | whiskey dicks | | POS | PLAYER | PTS | POS | PLAYER | PTS | | QB | T. Brady | 56 | QB | P. Rivers | 53 | | RB | A. Foster | 25 | RB | A. Ellington | 6 | | RB | C. Ivory | 13 | RB | B. Oliver | 8 | | WR | J. Edelman | 6 | WR | D. Hopkins | 6 | | WR | J. Brown | 13 | WR | W. Snead | 3 | | TE | J. Thomas | 1 | TE | G. Barnidge | 11 | | K | C. Catanzaro | 8 | K | J. Brown | 9 | | D | Falcons | 13 | D | Steelers | 4 | | TOTAL SCORE | 135 | TOTAL SCORE | 100 | | OT |   |   | OT |   |   | | adibisi's tits | @ | ow's fetishes | | POS | PLAYER | PTS | POS | PLAYER | PTS | | QB | A. Luck | 52 | QB | D. Brees | 31 | | RB | D. Freeman | 14 | RB | L. McCoy | 13 | | RB | T. Gurley | 29 | RB | L. Bell | 15 | | WR | B. Marshall | 7 | WR | A. Brown | 14 | | WR | J. Jones | 19 | WR | A. Cooper | 20 | | TE | R. Gronkowski | 22 | TE | L. Green | 15 | | K | A. Vinatieri | 3 | K | S. Gostkowski | 12 | | D | Seahawks | 17 | D | Panthers | 13 | | TOTAL SCORE | 163 | TOTAL SCORE | 133 | | OT |   |   | OT |   |   | | wild rovers | @ | spikemeisters | | POS | PLAYER | PTS | POS | PLAYER | PTS | | QB | B. Bortles | 30 | QB | M. Stafford | 39 | | RB | M. Ingram | 22 | RB | T. Riddick | 6 | | RB | C. Michael | 3 | RB | C. Sims | 7 | | WR | L. Fitzgerald | 4 | WR | P. Garcon | 6 | | WR | T. Benjamin | 5 | WR | G. Tate | 2 | | TE | J. Witten | 8 | TE | J. Reed | 25 | | K | C. Santos | 11 | K | S. Hauschka | 8 | | D | Eagles | 11 | D | Cardinals | 12 | | TOTAL SCORE | 94 | TOTAL SCORE | 105 | | OT |   |   | OT |   |   | | stoagies | @ | he hate retail | | POS | PLAYER | PTS | POS | PLAYER | PTS | | QB | R. Wilson | 30 | QB | C. Palmer | 41 | | RB | D. Woodhead | 28 | RB | F. Gore | 9 | | RB | L. Murray | 16 | RB | D. Martin | 18 | | WR | K. Allen | 12 | WR | C. Johnson | 15 | | WR | M. Bryant | 13 | WR | O. Beckham | 4 | | TE | G. Olsen | 7 | TE | J. Graham | 4 | | K | J. Tucker | 4 | K | M. Bryant | 4 | | D | Chiefs | 13 | D | Rams | 31 | | TOTAL SCORE | 123 | TOTAL SCORE | 126 | | OT |   |   | OT |   |   | | baba loos | @ | shocker | | POS | PLAYER | PTS | POS | PLAYER | PTS | | QB | B. Hoyer | 45 | QB | E. Manning | 18 | | RB | M. Lynch | 19 | RB | D. Johnson | 10 | | RB | D. Murray | 8 | RB | T. Yeldon | 19 | | WR | S. Smith | 8 | WR | A. Robinson | 16 | | WR | T. Hilton | 28 | WR | J. Landry | 22 | | TE | D. Walker | 6 | TE | T. Kelce | 8 | | K | J. Lambo | 7 | K | M. Prater | 7 | | D | Redskins | 3 | D | Giants | 26 | | TOTAL SCORE | 124 | TOTAL SCORE | 126 | | OT |   |   | OT |   |   |  

Huge weekend for Jerry's Kids. Control of the Madden is within reach if we avenge our only loss of the season in the GOTW. As we welcome the Clap to Jameson Field, the teams will partake in a ceremony commemorating the 20th Anniversary of the last time the franchises' respective owners prayed, on the fateful night of Game 5 in the 1995 ALDS. Curtis Martin will be on hand to pull a full set of rosary beads out of Jeff Garcia's ass and Rudi Johnson will be drawing pictures of the Prophet Mohammad. It's quite possible that the person responsible for costing the division even more beer and burgers will be chosen at The Heathen Bowl this weekend. The only bright side is, nobody in the Summerall can rock ribs like Shuff so we're probably better of losing anyway. OT: Jameis "Shame!......Shame!.....Shame!" Winston

So DeVonte, DeMarco and DeAndre walk into a bar....... | POS | PLAYER | TEAM | PTS | | QB | PHIL RIVERS | WD | 63 | | RB | DEVONTE FREEMAN | AT | 31 | | RB | MARK INGRAM | WILD | 19 | | RB | DeMARCO MURRAY | BL | 19 | | WR | DeANDRE HOPKINS | WD | 31 | | WR | KEENAN ALLEN | STO | 24 | | TE | JIMMY GRAHAM | HHR | 17 | | K | BRANDON McMANUS | CLAP | 14 | | D | BRONCOS | BL | 23 |  

HHR, you owe a debt of gratitude to The Clap for pointing out the error in the way scores are tabulated (Still makes no sense that you would lose a point per neg yard regardless of how it's worried). Turns out that Carson Palmer was originally knocked down a point for -1 rushing, once the adjustment was made it became a 12 point deficit (and a 13 to win since AT had OT). And OBJ got exactly 13 (before calling it a night early) and Retail pulls through with the 1 point win. With the halfway point just about here, it's time for the annual "If It Ended Today" - and really I'm only doing this because the tie breakers and standings are simple. And maybe a little because the Dicks would be an inexplicable 1 seed..... (1) Whiskey Dicks - Bye (2) He Hate Retail - Bye (3) Wild Rovers (on points) v (6) OW's Fetishes (4) Clap v (5) Adibisi's Tits (On h2h) | WEEK 6, 2014 | | GAME OF THE WEEK | | clap | @ | wild rovers | | POS | PLAYER | PTS | POS | PLAYER | PTS | | QB | T. Brady | 49 | QB | A. Dalton | 41 | | RB | A. Peterson | 7 | RB | M. Ingram | 19 | | RB | A. Foster | 18 | RB | S. Vereen | 1 | | WR | J. Maclin | 5 | WR | L. Fitzgerald | 12 | | WR | J. Edelman | 13 | WR | D. Thomas | 16 | | TE | T. Eifert | 10 | TE | Z. Ertz | 5 | | K | B. McManus | 14 | K | C. Santos | 4 | | D | Falcons | -1 | D | Patriots | 6 | | TOTAL SCORE | 115 | TOTAL SCORE | 104 | | OT |   |   | OT |   |   | | adibisi's tits | @ | he hate retail | | POS | PLAYER | PTS | POS | PLAYER | PTS | | QB | A. Rodgers | 40 | QB | C. Palmer | 46 | | RB | J. Forsett | 11 | RB | F. Gore | 10 | | RB | D. Freeman | 31 | RB | L. Miller | 19 | | WR | B. Marshall | 18 | WR | C. Johnson | 23 | | WR | J. Jones | 10 | WR | O. Beckham | 13 | | TE | R. Gronkowski | 12 | TE | J. Graham | 17 | | K | A. Vinatieri | 3 | K | M. Bryant | 3 | | D | Seahawks | 12 | D | Bengals | 7 | | TOTAL SCORE | 137 | TOTAL SCORE | 138 | | OT |   |   | OT |   |   | | whiskey dicks | @ | spikemeisters | | POS | PLAYER | PTS | POS | PLAYER | PTS | | QB | P. Rivers | 63 | QB | S. Bradford | 30 | | RB | A. Ellington | 6 | RB | M. Forte | 18 | | RB | M. Gordon | 3 | RB | R. Hillman | 13 | | WR | D. Hopkins | 31 | WR | J. Jones | 10 | | WR | W. Snead | 6 | WR | M. Wallace | 3 | | TE | G. Barnidge | 16 | TE | L. Donnell | 3 | | K | J. Brown | 1 | K | S. Hauschka | 13 | | D | Lions | -1 | D | Cardinals | 2 | | TOTAL SCORE | 125 | TOTAL SCORE | 92 | | OT |   |   | OT |   |   | | ow's fetishes | @ | baba loos | | POS | PLAYER | PTS | POS | PLAYER | PTS | | QB | D. Brees | 39 | QB | P. Manning | 30 | | RB | L. McCoy | 17 | RB | M. Lynch | 12 | | RB | L. Bell | 9 | RB | D. Murray | 19 | | WR | A. Brown | 3 | WR | E. Sanders | 17 | | WR | J. Matthews | 6 | WR | T. Hilton | 14 | | TE | M. Bennett | 6 | TE | D. Walker | 12 | | K | S. Gostkowski | 10 | K | M. Crosby | 9 | | D | Panthers | 8 | D | Broncos | 23 | | TOTAL SCORE | 98 | TOTAL SCORE | 136 | | OT |   |   | OT |   |   | | shocker | @ | stoagies | | POS | PLAYER | PTS | POS | PLAYER | PTS | | QB | E. Manning | 24 | QB | R. Wilson | 37 | | RB | E. Lacy | 3 | RB | D. Woodhead | 8 | | RB | D. Johnson | 6 | RB | D. Lewis | 5 | | WR | A. Green | 4 | WR | R. Cobb | 4 | | WR | A. Robinson | 15 | WR | K. Allen | 24 | | TE | T. Kelce | 9 | TE | A. Gates | 13 | | K | M. Prater | 13 | K | J. Tucker | 8 | | D | Giants | 14 | D | Jets | 8 | | TOTAL SCORE | 88 | TOTAL SCORE | 107 | | OT |   |   | OT |   |   |    

We only got 5 votes, 3-2 in favor of allowing the turnover to count in the Seattle D. I didn't vote for fear of a tie and I hate ties. Though I'm inclined to say Cum On My Face, go by what the site says because we've always counted Recoveries and Interceptions - not "Turnovers". But I hate ties. So I'll vote in favor. The "Official Ruling" (and you should save this email because I likely won't update rules till the offseason if then) is a DEFENSIVE UNIT will be credited for all turnovers that they are on the field for. However, since the site does not pick this up it is the responsibility of the opponent to bring it to league attention by 5:00 PM Tuesday. It doesn't HAVE to be the opponent, anyone aware of this can make it known, but you do not have to self-report. Seahawks D will gain an additional 3 points in Week 4.