One very long dream

I am trying to reconnect with the concept of ‘friends’ after it was getting lost under ‘work’, ‘dog’ and ‘partner’. I am talking to 5 friends at once - maybe a bit ambitious for someone who is restarting but hear me out. I have sealed the deal with 3 friends. 2 of them I have made weekend plans for the next two Saturdays and then another lunch plans this week with potential follow up outings. 3 out of the 5 had a reached out to me! It was like God’s plan. One of them, I had bumped into one of them in Kinokuniya. when I dared to break the mould and hang out with one of my friends. Then months later God planned another seed on his side and he stumbled across something that remind of me and that’s when he reached out. The other random contacted me? It’s must have been more than 10 years now. I met him when I was doing university exchange in japan. I tried to speak to him in Japanese. And then my third friend, I bumped into an Indonesia restaurant. I came back from Bali and a colleague had told me to continue the feeling so I decided to get Indonesia food. Everything is connected.

I feel anxious to go to sleep because when I wake up it will be a new day and I will have to go to work

I miss the weekend. I love being with my family.

It’s 3:15am I can’t sleep. Thinking about work. See my dog on couch. I touch her paw. I think I annoyed her. But she nudges her head to my hand. I squeeze her hairs on her head like a thick rich carpet. I lay my head on her chest. I listen to her heart beat 💓

I fought and I fought and soon my body gave up

I have been listening to podcast about Russell Brand and the allegations against him. Thank god. It’s finally coming out. It’s so messed up that a few years ago, his behaviour was ok. It was funny. The minority who thought it wasn’t ok, was thought to be ‘too serious’. Thank god it’s coming out.

I came back from Korea a week ago. I forgot what’s it’s like to not have financial goals, not be dictated by office politics and not to think so hard about the future. I was reminded of what it is like to afford things, to take care of myself, having fun, being part of 21st century participating in shopping and trends. I loved being with my baby baby 💓

I am I officially old now? Maybe because it was covid and not going out but when I go to the city I see all the uni kids hanging out in big groups. I feel kinda envious. I was once one of them.