Are you watching closely?

one time i took a picture of a tiger at the zoo and the tiger smiled for the picture it was very great and the best picture i’ve ever taken

dont fuck with me or ill weld all your joints shut in your sleep

gonna be walkin like a gingerbread man

i wanna know who spent a once-in-a-lifetime event to take this horrifying aesthetically-pleasing picture

life hack: do ur readings and go to class

and boy do I regret that

you know how they say a picture is worth a thousand words? This one is worth at least two million

his FUCKING EARS

I remember in my Arabic class we were going over the alphabet and the teacher was like there’s no ‘P’ etc and this white girl was like wait what but my names Paige and my teacher was like lol then we’d pronounce it as beige and she was so offended I’m crying thinking about it

One of my mom’s friends, Hugh, went to France and they had a lot of trouble pronouncing his name because the entire thing was silent.

salut je m'appelle [REDACTED]

forgive yourself for the stagnancy that was produced from your depression

its the fucking 20′s in nine months im going to shit my pants how did we allow time to fucking progress

it feels like its still 2011 

man it must suck being a banker. i bet it gets pretty loanly