*stackhizzle*

Hiiii there! I'm @therebeldiamonds! (No, that's not actually my name, my parents don't hate me that much. Well my dad might.)

My age is ✨age✨! It shouldn't really matter to you. Just don't be creepy. Being creepy and stalker like wouldn't be very punk rocker of you. So just don't do it, much appreciated, thanks.

I am too lazy like too much music to post all the music artists I like on here so I'll probably just link my Spotify. I'm also into writing....most of your main book fandoms— Hunger Games, The outsiders, Heartstopper, Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, etc. etc. Star Wars and Marvel, 100%. Stranger Things, Dead Poet's Society. I'm also a history geek. I read too much fanfiction than should be allowed.

Also currently into reading Shakespeare, Vonnegut, Whitman, Frost, Huxley, Thoreau, Tolkien...the greats, yk.

Pronouns are she/her, probably should have put that at the top....but it's fine, if you're actually that interested in my blog to wanna know my pronouns, you'll get this far.

My go to pose is a rock on sign. I say "yo?!" when someone wants my attention. I'm besties with the queer kids (they keep telling me I'm not straight so idk anymore chat), I'm a band kid. Feel feel to ask questions in the request-box-thingy.

Sincerely, therebeldiamonds.

you're free of me now, keep going. nothing ties you down, no more lies for you. but me. me, this is where I start lying. “I'm alright with this.” “It'll be okay.” “Honestly, I'm happy it's over.” you're talking about sovereignty and chapters on your account (maybe I just shouldn't look) but please shut up, for the love of god, shut up. I can't watch you change if it's not for me (like it should've been. but alas,) I'm selfish *I'm the one crying. I'm the one disabling Phoebe Bridgers’ playability on my Spotify. I'm the one who has to go home and shove what's left of us in a box and bury it in front of the log where we sat the night of our first kiss. I am a selfish woman. you're free of her now. go on, boy. keep going.*

*alt.

I'm the one who is left unknowing. because I would tell you the answer to anything in what now is a measley heartbeat.

I'm the one who's been having bad dreams, sleepless nights, the one who's waking up crying.

you're so free of me now that you didn't even say goodbye.

pt.2

You said you wanted go back to the way we were

Before this started

But here's the thing

You must not remember it the same as I do

Cause if you read the book that I have

You'd know, I've always been in love with you

You said you still want to support me

Be civil. Be a person there for me.

But the catch is

You should've done that from the start

And if you can't hold me up while you love me

Then there's no use trying when you don't.

On the way home

It was outside the rainy window

Upon which you slept

Neon blue cursive

And a white cross

“Find life in Christ”

But

I found life there

In your face

Peaceful, at ease

And glorious

I have seen the light

In my Christ-sign

Blazing blue eyes

And a pale chest

It might not be God

And you're not Jesus

But, Christ, who am I kidding?

You're it, babe

My book of divine answers

My altar, my steeple, my saint

You are gonna grow wings

I passed you on the way north

And that's as close as I'll come to you

You cannot help me

Now that you are breathing

Now that you are free

Please go be you

Be careful out there

And please don't forget me

But don't come home for Christmas

And please don't call

I love you

And despite our separation

I already know

You'll go far

You held me by the shoulder

And tilted my chin up

14 and 6 foot tall

You

Charmed me in the halls of

A fluorescent prison, shaped me into who I could be

I fell into your arms, you laid against my shoulder

You kissed my head

And I was blue all over again

Again

It's like I'm sitting on a log in my backyard

Staring at the sun through the trees

I'm getting a million splinters

But you're there next to me

And you're making me feel safe

Making me feel sane

Even in my spiral

Kiss the side of my face

Tell me you love me too

I can never be the same

After knowing you

And it when it all boils down

I already know what it comes to

That I wouldn't be so in love

She knows

She knows

They get real shy, that's always how it goes

And on the other side

Of the very same coin

She's not enough

And they're all bored

When is she gonna have something new?

When is she ever gonna stay in place?

He is in love

But with who?

The roman candle or the flickering flame?

Who is she today

Bright bursts or a whispered name?

And which side do the people like more?

And if you can't be the right thing

For everybody

Then what's the point of keeping score?

If she's pretty, will they seek?

Will they hide when she's weak?

Or Modest Mouse

And I can't watch Tom Cruise movies or Where Art Thou, Brother?

And I can't have pot roast

Or buttered pecan ice cream

Because of you

And because of you I can't sleep at night

And because of you I am ashamed of me, and my family

And my friends

And my lover, and

Because of you I should be medicated

Because of you I can't stand my own face most mornings

And I curse myself when I sound like you or make the wrong facial expression

Because of you, I hate you

And there is no longer anything else to it