Patroclus

"If you have to go, you know I will go with you."

"I will go. I will go to Troy. Will you come with me?"

I will never leave him. It will be this, always, for as long as he will let me.

In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood, like a hundred golden urns pouring out the sun.

~ TSoA

~•~

I will remember, because that is what we do for someone who will not stay. I will remember the fierce green eyes, the yellow hair that gleams in the sun, and the lips where I first tasted liquid sunsets from. I will remember the swift feet, the strong arms, and the calloused palms. I will remember how your skin feels like on mine, and that it smells of olive, sandalwood, almond, pomegranate, and sea salt. Above all I will remember the only face that could rival the golden hour.

I wish this would all be a dream, that we are not sailing to Troy this moment, instead we are back in your chamber again, watching you sleep like I always did in the early hours of dawn to revel at the sight of your face―oh how they hold so much life and vividness even as you sleep. If I could only borrow light from the moon to make those nights with you longer I would have given anything―but you will not sail back to Phthia, for your fall was written somewhere in the heavens.

I knew from the very start that the songs they will make for you will not end with us facing the sea together, for even during those stolen hours where I held you close, you seem to exist across the world from me. Aristos Achaion—that is what you are, what you have always been, someone who belongs to no one but glory itself. Darling it was destiny to love you, but even love does not promise that I could hold you as long as I want, besides, what are my arms to the gentleness of the stars that awaits you?

Then again, death does not kneel before poetry or things worthy of it. So I will teach myself to let you go, slowly, one breath at a time, as to accustom my sorry heart of the heavy space you will leave behind. I only wish for you to be taken by the kindest of breeze, for the stars to find a friend in your eyes, for your back to fit perfectly in the curve of the crescent moon, and for your heart to be filled with peace the living could not give you.

Before you go, my golden boy, take these words with you…

There is no place you will go that I do not love you.

― autumn artemis, To Achilles, Ever your Patroclus

11|15|2020

Thetis, to Achilles (the best of the Greeks): The prophecy says you will still be alive when it happens.

~•~

Achilles to Patroclus:

"You are a better man than I."

Briseis to Patroclus:

"Be careful tomorrow. Best of men. Best of the Myrmidons."

~•~

Achilles: i love you too

Briseis: more than Patroclus?

“The way his hair looked in summer sun. His face when he ran. His eyes, solemn as an owl at lessons. This and this and this. So many moments of happiness, crowding forward.” - Patroclus, *The Song of Achilles* by Madeline Miller.

"Well, why should I kill him [Hector]? He's done nothing to me."

"What has Hector ever done to me?"

"I'm sure you're right. After all, Hector hasn't done anything to you."

"I have always said that Hector's done nothing to offend me."

"...or Hector himself walks into my camp and threatens what is dear to me. I have sworn I will not [fight]."

"Bring him back to me."

(My head drops back against the ground, and the last image I see is of Hector, leaning seriously over me, twisting his spear inside me as if he is stirring a pot. The last thing I think is: Achilles.)

"Who did this?"

"Hector is dead. Tomorrow."

I hope that Hector kills you. "Do you think I do not hope the same?"

"Hector! Hector!"

And I think: do not fear for Troy. It is only Hector that he wants. Hector, and Hector alone. When Hector is dead, he will stop.

"There are no bargains between lions and men. I will kill you and eat you raw."

"Then who is it, Mother? Am I not famous enough? I killed Hector. And who else? Send them before me. I will kill them all!"

("That is [Patroclus] --- your friend?")

"Philtatos." Most Beloved.

"Best of men, and slaughtered by your son."

achilles/patroclus: his place is beside me

yalitmeme: otps [1/8] → Achilles x Patroclus

🌊 🌊 🌊

Achilles’s room was as we had left it, except for the cot, which had been removed in our absence. I was glad; it was an easy excuse, in case anyone asked why we shared a bed. We reached for each other, and I thought of how many nights I had lain awake in this room loving him in silence. Later, Achilles pressed close for a final, drowsy whisper. “If you have to go, you know I will go with you.” We slept.

He is half of my soul