the pursuit of self actualization

#mondaymotivation

This is what I am found doing late on a Friday night. I guess I'm a designer! #toooldtoparty #Iammyownmanager #hustle #missnewyork2016 #missny #unm #usanationalmiss #compcards #finalproduct (at Potsdam, New York)

My resolutions may have been reaches, but I didn't even expect to become Miss New York! I resolved to resume this ultimate pageantry goal after completing my degree, but life is what happens when you're busy making plans, or studying! I believe that the only missed opportunities are the ones we are offered and don't take. Five years ago I first considered going to college during my senior year if high school. I was pretty set with a great job, a tight-knit fitness community, relationships, cheerleading and rotary clubs - I could have waited and applied to all of my dream schools, which weren't out of reach! I decided to "defy convention" and joined the Clarkson School Class of 2012 leaving my beloved hometown and high school, which ended up closing after that year. The point of my sharing is to show that we have limited control over what happens, even if we've made sound, informed decisions. The best that we can do regarding every intention to better ourselves and the lives around us, is to not give up on our goals despite everything that pops up along the way. Life is full of adversity, and I believe success is best defined as overcoming these obstacles in relentless pursuit of our dreams. If you fall short this year, forgive yourself! Many people find themselves in a mundane rut of monotony. To live out your life with dissatisfaction is a recipe for depression. Be grateful not only for what you have, but for the ability to reach your potential with hard work and discipline. Rather than referring to my health psychology research on "behavioral change" I'm just going to say that it really is the thought that matters, the determination that keeps us going. Of course I want you all to quit bad habits and establish good ones, but NYE resolutions are notorious for never lasting. If you fail, try, try again. You have the rest of your life, not just into the new year, to become the best version of yourself and reach a level of satisfaction with what you have accomplished. Happy New Years everyone! 🎉🍾

Whether you're still dealing with your demons or have conquered them for once and all, I applaud your strength, courage and resilience in the face of adversity. #depressionwarriors #jkrowling #bukowski #activeminds #mondaymotivation #madmonday #makeadifferencemonday #mentalhealthmatters

#meditations

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Why is it that we as a society have become obsessed with aesthetics? When did braces for cosmetics purposes become standard? How did teeth whitening come to be a constant practice? Why is it that celebrities are evaluated not by the excellence of their work, but by their physical appearance? Years ago I read an interview where Kirsten Dunst defended her “snaggle tooth” smile, saying that imperfection speaks to character, yet she did eventually make minor modifications. According to a study conducted by the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry, 96 percent of adults believe an attractive smile makes a person more appealing to members of the opposite sex. “One of the first things people notice when they look at you is your smile- its shape, and whether it's straight or crooked,” says New York cosmetic dentist Timothy Chase, DMD. “On average, it takes people a fraction of a second to determine if they like what they see.” Speaking as someone who tries to look and perform my best, I have never taken serious consideration into my motivations for doing so. Why is that I have spent hours upon hours browsing the internet for advice on skin, hair, wardrobe, diet and fitness regimen? Why is it that we take so many selfies, etc. and look most forward to the validation we receive up on sharing? Why is a night out with friends best remembered by the photos taken, rather than the memories made when cell phones were out of sight? What is the message that we are continuously spreading to current and future generations concerning the meaning of life? I began contemplating this when I posted a photo of myself promoting something I am passionate about - improving mental health - and I noticed my “imperfect” smile. I’ve never worn braces, and never thought much about my crowded lower teeth. But my upper teeth are nowhere near the ideal. I used to have a small gap between my two front teeth, and was so relieved when it closed by puberty. My parents couldn’t afford many materialistic pursuits, and I was fine with wearing hand-me-downs and Walmart clothes until I began public middle school. Where everyone was judged by brand names! Tanning has become normal, and recently I heard first-hand from high schoolers that wearing false eyelashes to school on a daily basis is standard. Why is there such concern - no, obsession - over these things which in no way speak to our character, or our purpose in life. Aren’t these all just distractions from that which really matters in life? I admire those celebrities that are not constantly using their money to improve themselves with plastic surgery, outrageously priced designer fashion, and futile conversation. We in a position of influence need to bring attention to the important goals in our world - education, charity and health.

As much as I love social media, I will be taking a break indefinitely to focus on my last year of college at Clarkson University. From my online presence you would think I'm studying communications, marketing or public relations but I'm actually a biology and psychology dual major. I don't have the time to do all that I want given my curriculum and career ambitions. As much as I love promoting my mental health platform and competing within the Miss America Organization, I cannot try my best to earn the title of Miss New York AND be the high achieving student that I KNOW myself capable of being. I need this detox from Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, Snapchat & Facebook to free up hours of time for studying. I am happy to be a committed senior on Goldies Dance Team and a Clarkson Buddy to any and all foreign exchange students! I am confident that my true good friends will stay in contact with me via phone, email & Skype. I will be leaving this up here as an explanation for my absence on social media, and so that you can request my contact info via message. Again I thank the @missamericaorg for helping me to regain my confidence after a rough patch in my life, and for introducing me to some of the most beautiful women, both inside and out, that I can now call my good friends. Most of all I am grateful for @alliecurtisri and was honored to support her in Atlantic City this past weekend. It really is the support of my pageant sisters and directors that has gradually made me a much more positive person, one who is excited to live life to the fullest of her potential. Thank you all for understanding and I wish you the very best.

#kierkegaard

Successful unveiling of my new Mental Health Matters club featuring Active Minds, The Jed Foundation and National Alliance for Mental Illness! This is a personal success as I have written in my platform statement for over a year now my intention to start a chapter at Clarkson University. What made me feel even better than reaching this goal was the positive feedback I received from students. I'm grateful to be supported by many in my efforts to establish a supportive network among students on campus! #stompoutstigmacampaign #mentalhealthmatters (at Cheel Arena)

Today I was asked why I want to be Miss Bluebird and I said "because that title goes best with my personality - positive & chirpy - and because I would be able to travel the state making appearances and arranging events rather than representing one specific area. I love all of NY, not just one region, and the bluebird has always been my fave bird lol" I decided to research a bit and discovered that bluebirds are a symbol of happiness. Charles Bukowski wrote a poignant poem regarding freedom of expression, repression of emotion and escapism, bringing to mind the poem "I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings" written by Maya Angelou. Depression and confinement prevented these figurative birds from and flying free with happiness. Bukowski's bluebird cries out but is denied expression, Angelou's bird angrily struggles to break out but repeatedly fails, persistently singing of freedom. My platform is based on mental illness, working to improve health and awareness, to increase love for ourselves and others. We can acknowledge our internal battles, and we can choose to fight and sing in spite of them. Through positivity we improve our well-being and that of others. I have found this to be personally effective, as I have become mentally healthier over many years battling depression since beginning my work as an advocate. In 2013 I trained to be an EMT and crisis counselor. In 2014 I got involved with the Miss America Organization to reduce mental illness stigma. The more that I worked to improve myself, the happier I became and I shared that with others - it was infectious! I made many others happy which put a smile on my face, and with renewed purpose in life I blossomed. I want to be Miss Bluebird because "people won't remember what you say, they'll remember how you made them feel." All I want to do with my life is spread health and happiness, like a bird singing in sunshine and thunderstorms.