constant clownery

it's really embarrassing how much self control i have to exert when you put me in front of a tray of convenient and tender meat like if you put meatballs in front if me the fuckers are gone in milliseconds. same true of roadted brussels sprouts or basically anything that's a nice little dense and textured morsel. i am the hors that d'ouvres

do not stand at my plate and snack. that shit's all mine. please give it back. i am the dozen hors that d'ouvre. i am the meatball's gentle curve. i am the cracker's butter crunch. i am a thousand grapes for lunch.

sometimes you just gotta fuck up your sleep schedule by reading all 100k words of a fic you're not even enjoying, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise

dont talk to me or my clone or my shadow self or my reflection or my me ever again

often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind

"you don't know what you have until you lose it" works for things that suck too btw. sometimes you need to experience life without something for a while to realise oh damn that was some bullshit

the way black sails made it 4 seasons with no loss in quality and insane writing throughout yeah it was the last of its kind WHEW look at you you made it out

everyday this gets more and more impressive something g magic happened there

the good morning i like you/i like you too could literally kill someone. it’s maybe more serious to me even than the i love yous

me when i engage with something that i know is gonna piss me off: wow that pissed me off

10 costco secrets even your uncle with a cybernetic arm doesn't know

it’s so hard for me to not doxx myself every single day btw. my oversharer’s spirit is being stifled by internet safety