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@thepoppysmith
Sometimes you just need to cry and be sad. You need to break down and be torn apart. You need to learn how to pick yourself up and put yourself back together. Sometimes, the only way to be happy is to give into sadness first.
Anonymous (via pocmuzings)
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I made a decision actually. You know how I’ve been all over the place for the last 10 years. I always thought that I’m being too dramatic or too sensitive, but now...I think right now I need help. Everytime I fall down, I get back up, but I never heal completly. There is something wrong, something no one can help me with, I mean no one here. And I’m tired of all of you always trying to save me and always trying to help me, It’s not just teen drama anymore. It’s depression, a real one. There is something I need to fix in me and I’m not wasting any more time, refusing to believe it. I want to heal and I want to feel good again, so...I decided to seek a real medical help.
❝ things will get better, you just have to figure out where to begin to make it alright again. hey, at least you have me right? you light up the room, poppy, being a ghost isn’t an option either. go out there and make them see what they are missing in their lifes right now. be the happy girl i fell in love with years ago. most people find me a jerk, so i don’t think that i’m decent either. ❞ when the blonde jumped into his arms, the male smiled brightly. noah just felt genuinely happy around poppy and that was a feeling that would never change. ❝ come with me to new york. you can start a life there – a life with me. we can rent an apartment and you can go study there. we will be together, as friends of course, you’re the only good thing in my life and i don’t want that to go away. ❞
Poppy smiled, feeling good for the first time in ages...she always felt safe with him. She always felt that no matter how hard things get if he’s there, it will get better. “No...you really are a decent guy...” she said looking down “You’re worth it.” Did he really asked her to go to New York with him, like why...that was so out of nowhere. “New York...leaving everything and going to New York...” the girl said, quietly...more talking to herself than to him. Then she looked at him once again and a smile appeared on her face “I’ll come.” well, that sure escalated quickly.
❝ then they are not worthy of you. as bad as it may sound but not even your family. your happiness is what counts and if you keep going back to them then you’re only going to hurt yourself more. if something would ever happen to you and i didn’t do whatever i can do to fix it then i would never be able to live with myself. take my advice and ditch that guy, someone like you deserves a person that tells you every day how beautiful you are and you will find that person. i promise. well, i’m here to listen to your rambling, i know i may not be the first person you want to go to but you can tell me everything, poppy. you do know that right? ❞ noah told her with sympathy while pulling her into a hug and held her thight for what seemed like an endless moment. ❝ i’m good, i got the leading role in a broadway play and i actually came here because i wanted you to be the first person who knows about it. i’m going to new york. ❞
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. And I know that at the end I’ll be the unhappy one and I will hate them...I’ll hate my life and I’ll hate the fact that I once again put someone else’s happiness above my own. But since there is nothing I can do about that right now...I’ll just spend the days like a ghost. The thing I’ve been doing for the past 2 years. And about Andrew...yeah, I’m thinking about it. To be honest, I have no idea why I’m always attracted to assholes. You’re actually the first, last and the only decent guy I’ve ever liked. Oh my god....a leading role?! I’m so proud of you!” the girl said jumping to hug him. “New York is far away...big step, really. God I really am so happy for you! You can’t imagine!”
boyfriend. somehow that word hurted the lad more than it should be. but noah wasn’t going to act like he cared – besides they both had moved on. the male had been with some other females too but not quite as serious as it used to be with the blonde. ❝ tell me about it… you’re a tough one, poppy. i’m sure you will get through this. the best solution for now is to talk to them about it, okay? ❞
I did...my mom and her husband said that I only worry them and if something bad happens to one of them it will be all my fault. It’s just that I want to drop out of college and for them that’s something that can’t happen. They just keep repeating that I lost their money and time for those 2 years and if I drop out I will be no one. I just can’t seem to talk with them without someone crying or yelling or you know...And my boyfriend...I don’t even know if he’s still my boyfriend. He’s acting like a real jerk lately and I don’t know why. Just when I need his support the most he blows me off...
Ok that was too much rambling for 2 minutes...I’m so sorry. I’ll stop. How are you?
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❝ i have seen that face before. we may haven’t seen each other for ever since that i can remember but are you going to tell me what’s wrong? you know i love to see that beautiful smile of yours. ❞
Well that is what a call a surprise...didn’t expect to see you. I just have some family, college, boyfriend, world problems....but other than that I’m walking on sunshine.
What’s going on, Poppy? You know you can talk to me no matter what is going on, after a long time of dating you should know that.
Y - yeah. So you know that lately I’ve been having weird dreams and nightmares and anything in general. And to be honest, you’re the person I trust the most, so I decided that I can talk with you about it. So...about those nightmares...I’m not sure if they are just nightmares. I think they are my memories...and I need your help. Maybe you can tell me if it’s all in my head or I’m actually remembering things.
All I said was that you are acting distant.
I am not...okay, maybe kind of. I just wanted to talk with you, but I don’t know how to start.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I don’t know what you mean.
