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Ohhh, this is too fucking easy. And also too fucking difficult.

So we've played this game a few times before. It's not a contact or contactless cumshot game, but a game when I can only cum on the model's swimsuits. In all cases, the rules are the same: my semen is only allowed to hit their swimsuits on the initial strike. But let's get started.

Hannah Ferguson in white body paint could use even more white paint

The third rule of this perverted game states that

"anything on the model WHICH IS BEING USED AS A SWIMSUIT, or PART OF A SWIMSUIT, is therefore CONSIDERED A SWIMSUIT, and thus IT IS OKAY TO EJACULATE DIRECTLY ON IT."

Which is why, like I said, we're starting easy with this Hannah Ferguson body paint set. It's so easy that it's almost rude just how casually I'm sidestepping the rules. Is she naked? Yes. But is she wearing a swimsuit? Also yes.

Therefore, I want to ejaculate right on her tummy, just above her bellybutton. I could really have my pick, you see ... on her beautiful pear-shaped breasts, or right on her slick, smooth crotch, where her pussylips either have privacy tape stuck to them, or her vulva are painted white.

I could even rest my balls against her crotch and unload warm cream onto her bikini line here. In any case, my jizz is going to flow.

Penny Lane wrapped in gossamer

Directly on the ribbon. Notice the horizontal creases on her tight outfit? Yeah, that'd be nice to thrust my dick on, staining it with gooey precum. Until sperm fires up and splashes into the large ribbon.

Directly under the round collar, right between her large boobs. See, Penny Lane's baps are so big that they thrust outward, forming a sort of "shelf" of soft flesh. If I were to ejaculate right on the spot underneath her open collar, that would be dangerous because cum might splash onto her skin directly, breaking the rules. But if I press the tip of my dick right beneath the collar, my sperm will just create a large, dark wet stain of slippery ball batter. Some of it might ooze through, but the initial "rope-firing" will be well-contained. Just like Penny Lane's tits are well-contained: you can see them, but they're not spilling out all the way.

Caroline Wozniacki has a very small bikini top

Remember: completely naked babes break the game, because then there's no swimsuit for you to ejaculate on. Caroline Wozniacki, however, does have swimsuit to use as a landing pad for semen, even if it's very, very skimpy.

On her tiny left bikini-cup. There's a mesh portion where it exposes some skin, but it still counts as swimsuit. I'll let the jizz-shots fire and splash there.

Kelly Rohrbach pulling her top open

I've done Kelly before, and I'll do her again. She's too fucking hot not to.

Now, at first you're thinking I'm going to cum on her bikini top. And I was thinking that too...but wait! What's that red stretchy stuff between the cups of her bikini? That's part of the bikini too, meaning I'm allowed to cum on it!

Here's the thing: when I ejaculate on it, semen-ropes will splash onto her sternum, onto any exposed part of her breast, and possibly even her fingers. But as long as I'm aiming the rope directly at the pink lining, it's fine. Rule 2 clearly states:

If your seminal fluid drips down onto the model's skin, or part of her body, after it first lands, THAT IS OKAY. This is called secondary cumflow. It goes without saying that if your cum seeps through the swimsuit and touches her skin THAT IS OKAY, TOO.

Marisa Miller - first selfie (2003)

Ejaculate on her blue bikini bottoms, right on her crotch. Now, there are some small problems here. Her thighs are shut, so I'll have to part them gently, just a little, to get my cum where I want it to be. Also, Marisa (who is 25 in this photo) is sitting a little high up, so my dick might be a little far from the target area (her crotch). I'll have to aim it really precisely, and even then, some of the semen might spill down the sculpture, or her ankles and feet. I'll try my best, though.

Alex Morgan is shiny and glistening

Ejaculate right onto her bikini bottoms. Stand between her thighs, slide in, pump and let it out all over the bikini.

Alexis Ren is tight as fuck

Right on the strap of her bra, on her left shoulder. This is a very thin strap, and some of it might fly into her hair, but refer to rule 2. Oh, Alexis! Uhh! Unhhh!

Kate Upton: staring contest

Right onto the star on her necklace. Every single drop of my cum, gushing right on it.

Now, that seems like I'm really pushing my luck, but remember rule 3? If she's wearing it as a swimsuit, then it's okay for you to ejaculate on it. Except now we're in a grey area here, because it can be argued that a necklace is not being worn as a swimsuit - it's being worn as a necklace. So what do you think? Is this breaking the rules?

Think about this one hard!

Genevieve Morton is so pretty

A truly pretty babe indeed. Here she is in Switzerland for a photoshoot in 2014, looking equal parts angelic and erotic.

If you look closely, you'll see the dark shadow of her areola - oh, who am I kidding, you've already spotted it. So I'll cum directly on her sheer top as it's stretched taut over her nipple. Some sperm might trickle down onto her wrist as a result of this.

This time around, Genevieve isn't wearing a top of any sort. (She might be wearing pasties, but that doesn't count.) So instead I'm just going to have to spray my creamy jizzload right on her frilly bikini bottoms. It might ooze down her honey thigh, but according to rule 2, that's just fine.

Look at this fucking sweet cum-angel. I'm going to get down on my knees and point my cock right at the mesh over her tummy, pushing my shaft down so my glans doesn't touch her hand, and then I am going to shoot ropes and ropes of sperm onto her swimsuit.

Hailey Clauson: see-thru top in Sumba Islands

Directly on her see-thru top, aiming left and right so that both breasts get covered in come.

Christen Harper: a busty babe I wanna bust on

But I can't bust on her directly. Instead, I'll bust right on her bikini-top. Which part of it? Well, the left cup, right where the crook of her elbow is. Yes, a generous amount of my semen will flow down her arm, but that's just secondary cumflow.

Alyssa Miller has a naughty smile, so I should do something naughty too

Shoot my sperm right onto the tied light-blue straps dangling down her back. Spurt, spurt, SPURTTT.

Samantha Hoopes, cock-poundingly sultry

Right on the lacy mesh top that's dangling from her shoulders. I'll fire most of my jizzum onto the right side. Fuck, she's so sexy. She's got sexy eyes and a sexy mouth I'd love to blast my load on, but I'll have to be content with blasting onto her undone top.

Nina Agdal sliding them off

Right on her bikini bottoms. She's not really wearing them, but she hasn't taken them all the way off yet, so they still count as a swimsuit. Now, the question: which angle shall I spray my semen from?

Should I stand at her side and aim at the band of bikini that's on her thigh? Should I stand near her thighs...no, the chair is tilted upwards and will block me.

Should I stand behind her head and aim? My semen will have to travel a long way to strike her bikini bottoms, and as my orgasm tapers off, the final spurts of jizz will drip out and land on her face, in her hair.

Should I stand at a diagonal angle to her and just fire cum on that pink piece of clothing, possibly getting some jizz on her hands?

Decisions, decisions.

Barbara Palvin, fuu-UUUUUU-UUUCK

She is such a fucking cocktease.

I'm pretty sure I've posted Barbara in this skimpy pink swimsuit before, but let me post her again. And let me show you exactly where I want to ejaculate: that "X" where her long bikini straps meet, right above the small of her back. It counts, it still counts, it's still part of her swimsuit and even though there's barely any surface area to catch my jizz, even though bikini straps surely cannot soak up more than a few drops of bodily fluids, I'm going to cum right there, oh Barbara I'm going to cum right there, and to get into position I'm going to have to sidle right up to her, grip my cock above her ass, with my balls rubbing against her smooth, glistening asscheeks, stroking my fist back and forth and bumping against her tush, until sperm flies out of me and onto the bikini-straps and gushes some more and pours down her back and flows into the crack of her ass and down her thighs and more come comes out and more oh Barbara yes yes Barbara yes

Salma Hayek is a ripe milf

Okay, so I'm not going to push my luck with the "necklace" thing, this time I don't have your vote to save me. But I am going to shoot my cum right on her bikini top, every last splash of it, ohhh right there. Right there for Salma Mommy Hayek.

Brooks Nader has a lean, fit body

On her bikini top. Spurt, splash, spooooge. It's got a mesh pattern, so sperm is definitely going to slip onto her nipples.

Brooklyn Decker: her big boobs paved the way for Kate, Penny and Christen

Directly on her bikini bottoms. With cumropes so strong they leave a dent in the fabric, marking it with dark wet stains.

Erin Heatherton: great cum-gutters

No, seriously, can we just appreciate that sharply-defined line leading the way right down to her cunt?

On her tiny triangular bikini bottoms. That's right where I want to shoot my sperm.

Lais Ribeiro: tight, willowy, flexible

This photo is from Lais Ribeiro's 2019 photoshoot in Costa Rica, and I say this honestly, it deserves its own fucking post. It really deserves a wank session dedicated all to those photos, and those photos of Lais alone, because cum the fuck on, look at this fucking babe.

Her crotch. Right on the thin fabric of the bikini on her crotch. I'll stand close to the tree trunk, lean forward slightly, and press the head of my penis to her bikini bottoms, so that I can feel the flesh of her pussylips through the fabric. And then I will unleash a heavy load right there.

Nina Agdal spreading her legs

This is an easy one.

Shoot my sperm directly at her bikini bottoms. It'll form a small white puddle of jizz on the pool tiles, seeping to her thighs while more and more cum continues to fire out of my dick.

Bo Krsmanovic is all wet

On her bikini bottoms, right from behind. Now, the first one or two spurts of semen might be so strong that they overshoot and land on her bare back, but refer to Rule 5:

If your cumshot accidentally sprays onto her body because the spurt is too strong THAT IS OKAY

On her mesh bikini top, unleashing fat ropes of come onto the side of her breast. Over and over again, until it trickles down the slope of her breast, drips down her body and into the sea.

I think it's not hard to guess that I'd ejaculate directly onto her sheer, wet top, painting her with fresh sperm.

Heidi Klum - 1998 debut

Okay, confession time: this was one of the pictures that triggered my puberty when I was a pre-teen, and which also led me into looking up SI Swimsuit models while my penis twitched and throbbed in my pants. It was between her and Petra Nemcova, and both these ladies made me touch myself.

It will always live in my fond memories - not to mention the rest of the 1998 set. They were my early gateways into SI Swimsuit spanking. Those nipples, the underboobs, Heidi's sultry stare...there's something about the pleasure of your first wanks, and how it locks certain women into your brain because you're activating those pleasurable pathways for the first time, pushing the sexual sensations a little further each time. This picture awakens something in me, a Pavlovian response, except instead of saliva, it's pre-cum.

Which is why I want to point my dick at Heidi's tightly-stretched blue top and unload a massive Klumshot onto the fabric, staining it with creamy ejaculate.

Whew. That was a real good session. Now we're going to feature a 2-minute video of a young Heidi Klum, for our viewing pleasure. It opens with a shot of what would happen if you facialized her, and there are some angles from behind of her being topless. Enjoy!