NEVER SAY MAYDAY

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

reblog this to pet the user you reblogged from please

what's the dewey decimal number for foreskin. coward

prostrating myself at your feet for my lack of composure thank you for your wisdom

The funniest thing you can add to any piece of media is a boy detective. Breaking Bad needed a 13 year old child who goes around looking for clues to the caper and whatnot.

Hank

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

i’ve invented a new microwave its called microwave 2. it randomly makes your food colder 9% of the time. don’t worry i’ve already entered your home and replaced your old microwave with it. im very good at technology

this is about google’s ai overview

gonna be real i thought this was just about normal microwaves

a well written story has no one correct interpretation

Not to brag, but I'm quite good at laying in bed and saying stuff like "ugh" and "oof" and "nnnnn."

oh no oh no please not this post please

reblog to get your bones rattled at the dubious convention

sorry for not answering messages for three thousand years i have. Stew. in place of a brain. you know how it is