On Perm Hiatus.

Alright, lemme stop with the “{}” bullshit. It’s really annoying to keep a format at this point, so I’m gonna say fuck the format since I’m not doing this shit from now on.

Now where was I? Oh yes. Permanent hiatus reasons. Quite frankly I have a lot to talk about here. Some may be reasonable, while others view it as ridiculous, either way it doesn’t matter. I’m here to declare something, and I could honestly care less about anyone else’s views at this time. Now to list them off:

1. Sparse activity from me and with other.

I don’t know how, but in the short timespan of only one to two months my activity has slowed to either a screeching halt for long periods of time, or has slowed to snail’s pace. 

Some of it is on my end, and I’m willing to admit that. Some is the other’s fault. Either way...the more distant I am from this hobby, the more I just don’t wanna do it. It’s kinda like playing video games with me. I could binge play for days, and if I leave it alone for a single day, I just don’t wanna do it. And also sometimes if I binge a hobby too much, I get sick and tired of it and take a break. Hell, from all the binge playing of MGS5, I haven’t played it in over three weeks, and I haven’t played Star Wars: The Old Republic MMO in ages too(only now have I recently replayed it due to The Force Awakens putting me into a Star Wars frenzy, but I’m glad I did either way).

In  a way, RPing is effected by both of these actions. RPing too much led me to abandon it, and abandoning it led to me further leaving it in the dust. And it’s not just that, but the fact that some won’t even interact with me any more. To be honest, it makes me beyond upset. What have I done to earn this cold shoulder? I sometimes begin to wonder whether it was because of my opinions on politics. Most likely, I’ve seen people unfollow me after I share my more right wing views.

And you know what? It pisses me off and makes me sick. Why the fuck would you unfollow me for my opinions when I don’t unfollow you for yours? Voltaire once said, “I may disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” I don’t unfollow and not interact with someone simply because they shared an opinion that differs from mine. Hell, if I wanted to, I could bitch all day in your inbox about how your opinions are stupid and wrong and how they don’t work. But guess what? I don’t. I don’t act like a dick subtly either. 

TL;DR: Lack of RPs and communication with others, both on my and the opposite end.

2. Intolerant/asshole-ish communities & people.

I won’t name anyone, but if you’re reading this, you know who you are. Y’know, the people that did not accept a verse with shitty excuses or trying to sway away towards another when I wanted to try one. Or better yet, ditching a thread with that verse while in my inactivity, hoping I won’t notice. Well guess what fuckwads. I did. I did notice, and right now, I salute you with a nice, big, erect middle finger.

And it’s because of some of these communities that my muses are barely used and are deader than roadkill because of it. (COUGH COUGH mgs community COUGH COUGH). It honestly at times made me feel ashamed to be multi muse. I wanted to be multi-muse for a good reason. I didn’t want to make thousands and millions of other fuckin’ blogs or ending up having to delete some because I don’t wanna be the muse.

Dead blogs because its mun made another and transferred into that community are quite frankly, the cancer of Tumblr RPs as a whole. And I couldn’t give any less of a shit if I was being rude at this point. There’s a difference between brutal honesty and plain old mean attitudes, and I’m being the aforementioned.

Not only that, but these elitist blogs who complain about someone’s blog layout or won’t RP because it’s multimuse. Or better yet, the fucking elitists who legitmately judge you on your writing and only RP with you if others can match their pish-posh perfect quality, or the ones who don’t do crossovers. Generally, these entitled, elitist fucks like to use the excuse of being “selective” or “mutuals only”. 

Y’know what I say? Fuck you and your stupid bullshit! By being an isolationist, relegating yourself to a small group, you are seriously affecting the social cycle here on RP Kingdom of the Tumblr Empire. 

Now if you use “selective” and you do things that would be considered open, then you shouldn’t use that label. It scares people off, trust me, I know because I felt it. Or better yet, it worsens the serious social anxiety that these muns have. 

TL;Dr: If you’re a nice person like me who is accepting of all things, as long as you send an ask, then don’t use selective. If you’re a condescending, high-strung piece of shit, then why don’t you advertise it with big bold letters saying “LOOK AT ME I’M A DIPSHIT”?

3. Finally, it’s becoming a bore to me, and I view it now as a waste of my writing skills.

I’m not afraid to admit that I’m a good writer. However, I’m no Shakespeare, nor am I any of those other award winning authors. That’s what separates me from the egotistical. I’m self confident enough to admit I’m good, but humble enough to know I’m not the absolute best in the world.

Personally, I’m seeing this as a waste. Something where I’m throwing away my vocabulary, my sentence structure, my brain that thinks and spawns ideas like two rabbits fucking! I find it a waste. Not only that, but with RPs, you generally have to wait for the other to reply. If they don’t, it’s a waste of time and skill.

I’m quite frankly more comfortable with fanfiction(or better yet, writing my own stories that formulate within my mind, whether it be books, films, or video games) than I am RPing. Why? Because there’s no wait. There’s no sitting down on your ass waiting for this person to reply, only for them to do something completely different, forcing your “perfect” idea to take a sudden turn. With fanfiction, there is no wait. There is no warping of your vision, no injection of ideals you find an IQ drainer, nothing! You write for your, and your vision alone and input that into a medium.

Now I’m not discrediting any ideas as bad or stupid. No no, some of them were great ideas and turned my RPs into something better than I imagined! But when you have two people with two different dreams, two different goals, and two different pursuits, it tends to change for better or worse.

But when you come into an epiphany like the one I had as of late, listed above, you sort of realize just how boring and mundane this really is. Sure, when you’re in the moment, it’s fun! But it’s like doing drugs. The long term is not really ideal. It sort of alienates your world view on what’s reality and how people really act and view others. It even alienates a person’s sense of right or wrong, some of those involved topics making people completely insane!

To say fiction does not affect others in some way, you would be lying. It does affect people. Whether for good or for bad. Sometimes it desensitizes and makes the person tougher to break, other times it softens up a person and does the opposite effect.

But how did it affect me? The real world was perverted in my perspective from what it actually is (look up in a dictionary, perverted means more than being a sexual deviant). It made me think that the world was easy, and things like friends and girlfriends were a snap to get. The fact: it’s not. Not everyone is suddenly attracted to your presence. You have to gauge their interest or make them see you’re worthy of being a friend.

And it’s not just that, but as stated above, it becomes boring! I know people say it’s a hobby and its supposed to be fun so don’t stress yourself out. And that if people urge you about it, they’re being rude and not realizing your privacy rights. But here’s the thing: even hobbies long enjoyed become so boring, it’s just not fun anymore.

Trust me, I’ve tried. It doesn’t work for me anymore. Drawing is still a hobby for me, as with writing and playing video games. I’ve even gained filming as a hobby! These things are fun to me, still! Rping’s charms have just grown weary on me, and it’s dulled into the point of it being quite frankly something I dislike.

TL;DR: See the title.

Is there anymore questions? No? OK. Then it’s done. This blog will become an archive, and the only activity from now on will be queued posts. Spread the word. I quit.

If you’re still interested in reading my writing, go look at my personal @cjtheoverlord ...

If you wanna talk to me on Skype, message that blog. I’m not answering things here anymore.

Cheers. And godspeed, you magnificent bastards.