I noticed there's no "e" in Tumblr. And now it really bothers me

Image © Paizo Publishing, accessed at Archives of Nethys here

[@prokopetz once said that one of the defining features of D&D is that the players can argue with the monsters over stupid bullshit. So in that vein, here is the gobmob snake, which can argue with itself over stupid bullshit. The gobmob snake appears in PF2e's Monster Core 2 as a beefed up version of the goblin snake. I appreciate them going back to one of the first original PF1e monsters, as goblin snakes first appeared waaaay back in Burnt Offerings, the first Pathfinder Adventure Path module. I also appreciate how much flavor Paizo works into their stat blocks now, as naming an ability "incessant yammering" goes a long way. But still, gobmob snakes get one whole sentence of bespoke flavor text, so my version is rather more fleshed out.

If you enjoy my incessant yammering, head on over to the Creature Codex Patreon. As little as a dollar a month grants access to a complete PDF of the Codex, and higher tiers grant access to bonus monsters and sponsoring your own creations.]

Gobmob Snake CR 4 CE Aberration This serpentine creature forks at its midsection, with each long neck ending in a lipless leering goblin head.

Goblin snakes possess several goblin-like traits, one of which is their propensity to mutate. A gobmob snake is a mutant goblin snake born with multiple heads; four heads is the most common, but as few as three and as many as six have been observed. Each head has their own personality, although they share a nervous and digestive system. This leads to frequent arguments over what to eat, where to go, and how to torment their victims. The one thing all of their heads can agree on is their superiority over “mere” goblins and goblin snakes.

The bickering heads of a gobmob snake are capable of shutting up in order to sneak up on enemies. Usually. Gobmob snakes fight much like their smaller cousins—they attempt to sicken particularly dangerous foes with their juicy belches and focus their bites on weaker and more vulnerable creatures. The amount of damage a gobmob snake can deal varies dramatically; one round, all of the monster’s heads may bite the same target, while next round half of them refuse to bite out of protest or to get in another verbal jab at a rival head. Despite their clashing personalities, each of the heads is cowardly and opportunistic, and so these creatures often flee from a losing fight or attempt to negotiate for their lives.

Gobmob snakes are less likely to live within goblin communities and are more likely to be visited by them as oracles and sages. Each of a gobmob snake’s heads may offer their own opinion on a goblin’s question, and then the goblin can pick whichever answer they like best. Gobmob snake lairs are often filled with snakes of all kinds—they collect snakes as pets, guardians, and trophies, and are very proud of rare species or color morphs they possess. As snakes have poor hearing, they typically pay little attention to the eternal bickering of the gobmob snake they live with. Gobmob snakes breed true, but they can rarely stand the company of others of their own kind long enough to mate. Thus, most gobmob snakes are de novo mutations instead of the descendants of other gobmob snakes.

Jonathan Joss was an Indigenous, gay man who was murdered on the first day of Pride month as well as Indigenous History Month. He died protecting his trans husband. Homophobia and racism aren’t marks of the past, and this is a heart breaking reminder of that.

"Totoro_Night" © deviantArt user MabeNK00, accessed at her gallery here.

[Sponsored by @tanukutie. The idea of doing Totoro as a monster took me back a bit, because My Neighbor Totoro is famously a movie with very little conflict. The closest thing to combat is a scene where a little girl is startled by a goat. But rewatching My Neighbor Totoro for this entry crystallized things in my mind. Totoro lives in a camphor tree, and camphor was one of the resources coveted by the Imperial Japanese war machine. To Western eyes, the original double feature of My Neighbor Totoro/Grave of the Fireflies seems like a cruel joke, but the significance would have been apparent to Japanese audiences. This family gets to live in peace following the war by living their life in an old fashioned way close to nature. The other family doesn't. The plot of My Neighbor Totoro is about the virtue of patience and rest; the plot is about two children waiting for their sick mother to come home from the hospital. And Totoro himself spends a lot of time just chilling.

A monster themed around patience and rest is tricky to do in a combat focused game, but not impossible, and I quite enjoyed the challenge. I don't foresee a lot of parties having to fight a totoro unless they're hella evil, but one could be used to add some whimsy to forest adventuring and provide a useful ally.

My Neighbor Totoro really resonated for me now as someone who is resting (from the trauma of being driven out of my last job for being a trans woman) and waiting (to get a new job). If you would like to help me during my recovery period, please consider joining the Creature Codex Patreon here.]

Kami, Totoro CR 7 CG Outsider (native) This rotund creature is something like a bear, something like an owl, something like a cat and something like a rabbit. It has gray fur, long ears, a stumpy tail and a large mouth with human like teeth. Its eyes are wide-set and round.

Kodamas are the kami of trees as a whole, but special trees may possess special kami. Ancient camphor trees, for example, may be guarded by a totoro. Totoros are peaceful creatures that sleep by day and play and tend to the forest by night. They are typically shy and secretive around humanoids and rarely speak to them, leading those that catch a glimpse of one often thinking they just saw a strange animal. They are more favorably disposed to small children and pleasant fey creatures. These may be invited to play with them and assist them in their duties of ensuring that seeds grow and trees are healthy, especially if they do the totoro a kindness. Totoros often live with several shikigami who act as apprentices, who assume totoro-like appearances and develop into full totoros when another camphor tree in their forest grows old enough.

As camphor trees are very long lived and their wood contains medicinal chemicals, totoros embody the virtues of patience and rest. Totoros live a slow life and encourage others to do the same, and they protect those they are friendly with while they sleep. Those who share in a totoro’s magical dreams heal faster and are guarded against hostile creatures. This is a very useful boon to adventurers traveling through a totoro’s forest, but a party of armed adults is unlikely to learn of a totoro’s presence, let alone befriend one.

Camphor trees make good lumber, and the camphor they produce can be used to make alchemical explosives as well as medicine. Totoros will fight to defend their trees from logging or to protect children under their care, and are extremely distrustful of anyone using alchemist’s fire or gunpowder. A totoro’s claws are typically used for climbing and scratching itches, but they can inflict terrible wounds if necessary. Totoros can also use their strong lungs to push enemies away with powerful sneezes, or magically amplify their shouting to the point of dealing damage. Totoros fight to defend and not to kill, and will not pursue enemies that flee them. When defending their camphor trees, totoros fight to the death.

Although they do not need to eat, totoros enjoy eating, particularly acorns and mushrooms. Many totoros play the ocarina.

“1997 - Kothoga” © Greco Westermann, accessed at his ArtStation here

[The Relic is a movie I remember enjoying, but I haven’t seen since it was relatively recent. The monster, the Kothoga, was designed by Crash McCreery and performed as a mix of CGI and a man-in-suit, and a very elaborate, non-humanoid suit too. Its backstory is somewhat convoluted–it is a human anthropologist who has mutated into a monster after drinking a potion given to him by a South American tribe, who turned into a monster on the trip back and is now lurking in a natural history museum. Supposedly this monster is used as a weapon against the tribe’s enemies… so why choose this guy? Why doesn’t the monster just go hunting for more victims once it’s done with those enemies? Why doesn’t it ever try to leave the museum once it gets there? My flavor text is an attempt to provide an answer to these questions.]

Kothoga CR 7 LE Aberration This creature looks something like a reptilian lion, although it does have tufts of hair running along its back. It has large scales running along its back, and a softer, smoother underbelly. It has a pair of shear-like mandibles growing from its jaws, and its claws and teeth are overly large.

A kothoga is a mutated humanoid, created upon consuming a strange jungle fungus. The kothoga fungus infects those that consume it, transforming them into a dangerous predator. This predator patrols and maintains a home territory, purging it of large creatures and consuming the brains of humanoids in the area—hormones in humanoid brains resemble the secretions of the kothoga fungus. Once the territory is cleared, the kothoga would rather starve to death than leave its range, and new fungi grow from its corpse.

This bizarre life cycle has been weaponized by some of the people who live in the jungles where kothoga fungus grows. When their village is threatened, a clan will feed someone the fungus, monitor their sickness until they are on the verge of transformation, and then take refuge outside of the new kothoga’s home range. Some peoples transform one of their own—someone elderly or sick who sacrifices themselves to benefit their community one last time. Others use captured prisoners or interlopers are unwilling super soldiers. If one of these victims escapes captivity and flees for their own land, a kothoga can be created far from their ordinary range.

Kothogas are durable and deadly. They typically attack from ambush, pouncing from the shadows or from up in the trees. Despite their size, kothogas are remarkable climbers, combining their claws with gecko-like fringes on the toes to be able to even climb upside down. Fire or magic are the most reliable ways to kill these monsters for good. Fire has the added benefit of destroying the next generation of kothoga fungus, which will otherwise sprout from the body.

Kothoga Sickness (CR 5 hazard) A creature that consumes kothoga mushrooms must succeed a DC 18 Fortitude save or succumb to their effects. Treat this as the following supernatural disease: Kothoga Sickness—ingested; save Fort DC 18; onset 1d12 hours; frequency 1/day; effect 1d4 Con damage and 1d4 Cha damage. A creature reduced to 0 Con is slain; a humanoid or native outsider reduced to 0 Cha is transformed into a kothoga over the course of 24 hours. A creature so transformed can only be restored to its normal self via a limited wish, wish, or miracle spell; cure 3 consecutive saves.

-people confuse Lili with someone’s porn OC and get mad at me for making an OC based off of a “Gooner character”

-I clarify that Lili is my OC and I’ve had her for years

-comments get even more angry and insist she’s a rip off

Here’s a gigantic African land snail (Lissachatina glutinosa) to brighten your day! 🐌Found in parts of eastern Africa including Malawi and Tanzania, this jumbo gastropod can grow up to 5.9 in (15 cm)—making it one of the world’s largest snails! This critter inhabits forest edges as well as river and lake shores. It’s a member of the Achatinidae family, which includes a number of similarly sized snails, some of which have become invasive species outside of their natural ranges.

Image by Tony DiTerlizzi, © TSR. Accessed at Monstrous Manual here

[”We are normal.” Unlike the yak folk, @canwefixitnoitsfucked actually did get to play a keeper at one point. They were also a running presence in both my senior year high school game and the Planescape game I ran as a college undergrad. Part of what made them so intimidating was that the players never actually fought any of them. This was good, because the 3.0 Fiend Folio version was greatly over CRed for its power level. @thecreaturechronicle did a version more in tune with its 3e CR, whereas my version is aiming more at the power level of the 2e Planescape version.

Also, the reference to Kazik is in honor of Alfred K. Bender, the creator of the Men in Black, of which the keepers are a definite homage to.]

Keeper CR 4 LN Aberration This gray-skinned creature looks almost human, but is slightly off, as if it were an incomplete sculpture. They wear dark goggles and a leather coat, and bear a grim expression.

The keepers are a mysterious race of vaguely humanoid creatures obsessed with information and secrets, and willing to kill or die to protect them. If asked of their origins, they say only that they are from “Kazik”, but whether Kazik is a city, another plane, another planet or all of these is unknown—even divination spells do not reveal this information. Although keepers are superficially humanoid, they lack many of the details of humanoid bodies—they are hairless (although some wear wigs) and have no nails or claws, and they have a single block in their mouth with lines to give the appearance of separated teeth. They have no eyes, but typically wear goggles or dark glasses to obscure this fact.

Keepers are information brokers who desire to suppress dangerous or sensitive information, particularly that relating to new technologies or magical breakthroughs. They typically do this through intimidation, threats or even outright murder. They have no regard for good or evil, and find the behavior of most other creatures to be chaotic and unpredictable. In conversation, keepers are often unthinkingly rude or offputtingly polite, and their lack of understanding social norms often walks a fine line between comical and unnerving. They can be enticed to reveal less important secrets through barter or bribery, and what information a keeper considers “unimportant” may still be fantastically valuable in the right hands.

In combat, a keeper reshapes its body to form weapons from its hands, moving into flanking position or striking from ambush to take advantage of its sneak attack. They rarely fight alone, and may leave some of their numbers in reserve to attack in waves. Keepers can switch positions with each other through teleportation, swapping fresh forces in as the old wave is exhausted. A keeper would rather die than be forced to reveal its secrets, and they can will their bodies to collapse into a pile of quickly evaporating toxic sludge.

A keeper stands as tall as a human being, but their strange composition makes them one and a half times heavier than a human of their height and build.

By the way, the Keeper is my favorite creature introduced in Planescape! Thank you for statting these secret-keeping creatures, with their plasticine-flesh and intelligent but mechanical mindset.