Diastole

Disappointment fills me to my core. For reasons I can't exactly explain. Just an infinite discontentment. A lack thereof, but of what, I'm not sure. Something has always been missing, and nothing can fill the void quite like I need it to. An empty space in the very center of my being. Never satisfied. Never quite right. Always craving more. When will it be enough? When will I be enough?

Deeply in love, shot straight out of a cannon. Direct and forceful. Eyes only for you my dear, blind to the rest. A fire burning through my chest, flames rising up to say a simple hello. Your touch sends me to another dimension where only you and I exist together in infinite bliss. A special connection never to be severed, not even by the sharpest of knives. Together we rise into the sky, reaching for the moon and stars to float alongside peacefully. Clouds hang above our dreams, protecting our future. The sun shines bright, casting a light so wonderful it illuminates our love with an angelic glow. A love so strong that reality melts away into magic. You are my partner to the end, together we will stand against it all. Time seems endless with you, a speed I cannot control. Forever is no longer just a concept with you, but an actual goal. The faith I have in us is limitless. You are the rest of my life, and I cannot wait to spend it with you.

We go round and round in these cycles, yet nothing ever progresses. Years have passed, but what has truly changed? Not much. Still stuck in a sense. We've dug new holes, yet built few ladders. Deeper we fall into excuses not to change. Reasons to justify the behavior. Blameless, unaccountable, victimized. Always some external force, without internal reflection. Yet completely self aware. Deflection in it's prime. It's an unfortunate mess we've made here, I daresay.

Thr tortured artist troupe has passed. Lack of motivation and inspiration has killed the spirit. It's been years since I've even had the desire, let alone the words. I miss it, but it's so far misplaced in my world that I fear it may never return. Snippets of something appear at times, only to fizzle into the nothingness, never to be written down. It's a damn shame if I do say so myself. We had such a strong voice, but now I'm left with a mere whisper.

I'm so in love, I never thought I'd feel this way again.

I love you, I just can't be with you; at least not right now.

Not quite sure what I wanted to go away but I wanted it all to go away and it did.

Not necessarily anything good or bad. Just is.

There's just a certain vibe about sitting in the complete darkness drinking a beer before work that nothing else can really compete with.

It's the same damn booth that began the end of my world.

I just want it to hit

You gifted me a fucking time bomb

A whirlwind of emotions I haven't felt in years.