I make my own destiny

“To be honest, I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of a smile of yours. You probably only look happy if you’re torturing children or something.” It was a mumble, mostly, but it wasn’t on an accident that it was loud enough for Regina to hear. Toni hoisted up her suit of armor and started heading in the indicated direction.

“TRUST ME, lady, there’s nothing I want more than to get out of here. This place is too quiet. It gives me the jitters.” If there were jitters to be had, Toni knew they were both aware that the quiet in this town was not the reason for them.

The man she met at the mechanic’s shop was actually quite nice and seemed quite impressed with her suit. After some fiddling with tools and getting almost electrocuted more than once, all looked as if Toni would be ready to take off. However, it seemed like the suit had other plans. FRIDAY remained unresponsive despite her circuits looking functional, and there was nothing Toni could do to bring her back. Hours had passed and, with mechanic’s permission, she left her suit in the shop and trudged to where the Mayor’s house was and knocked on the door rather insistently.

♚ @disturbxnces

Regina took a deep breath, filling her lungs, as her witty reply was on the tip of her tongue. But then this woman, this Toni, had already dragging her metal thing towards the mechanic’s shop, that Regina bit the inside of her cheek and let the moment pass. That way Toni would be out of her hair and life for good by the end of the night.

Or not...

She has went about the rest of her day like usually, taking Henry from school at exactly 16:30 and starting a tomato soup only an hour later. And while the boy was playing with his action figures she read some pages from her book and drained a glass of cider. Her nerves needed to be cool down and it worked its magic. The change into something more comfortable - pants and slightly unbuttoned shirt after shower did not help a lot. She stood up to check on the soup when a loud noise coming from the door startled her. When she listened, really listened, she noticed that the noise was actually banging. Someone dared to bang on her front door. 

A quiet breath of a chuckle left her - dinner and a movie with her Majesty. As much as Emma hated and avoided using the title of Evil Queen when referring to Regina, she couldn’t help but do so in her mind right now. Because, quite frankly, planning such a date with the Evil Queen was just funny to her. Or perhaps that was just Emma’s way of coping with the butterflies going crazy in her stomach.

She was happy, though. This was a good plan. Dinner and a movie; it was sweet and simple, which was more than Emma could say for most of her love life. She nodded, took another bite out of her sandwich and then leaned back a little.

“I’ll pick you up at 7, but you’re in charge of picking the movie. I do not need more responsibility than finding a good restaurant and not being late to pick you up. That’s already a handful.”

♚ @disturbxnces

A chuckle left her lips as she pushed a tomato in her mouth. Damn, this Emma Swan, making her insides twist in ways she never thought possible. But the woman before her was making it look so easy and so effortlessly. Like she didn’t have a care in the word. 

And boy, did she had.

Toni scoffed. There was not one word coming out of this woman’s mouth that she believed. She had no idea how on earth this Regina Mills person had managed to gain the votes of people with such a despicable attitude, but that was not something Toni needed to dwell on. 

Except that she would, because she always did. Her brain would never really follow her own orders, ironically enough. And no, this was not the last of her wondering what the hell was up with this town. 

“Then I think I can find my way there now. Thanks for your help.” Which really wasn’t much. All Regina did was guide Toni through a way she could have simply verbally relayed to her, do nothing to help her with the very heavy suit of armor Toni was carrying, and irritate her beyond belief. So yes, her thank you was incredibly sarcastic and Toni was not apologetic about it whatsoever. 

“I’m sure you have a very busy day of being an ass for no good reason ahead of you. I won’t steal more of your time. Oh, and do yourself a favor and just try to relax your expression a little more. Looking so mean all the time can’t be good for your expression lines.”

♚ @disturbxnces

Regina raised an eyebrow when the woman was clearly dismissing her. Well, that was unexpected and very, very welcomed. Maybe there was something more than ego in this woman. And whatever it was Regina didn’t want to have anything to do with it. 

“You are very welcome.” She flashed her biggest smile and yes, it was just like the ‘thank you’ she received. “And don’t worry. My facial expressions are working perfectly fine for those who are privileged to see them.” Maybe this was going to shut the woman once and for all. Nobody asked of her opinion.

The question caught Emma a little bit off guard. Not because of the implications of it - she never really thought about what came after dinner when they began talking about this. She was so elated to actually try to do this thing properly with Regina, the thought of the previous night sort of slipped from her mind for now. And the thought of a repeat was distant, as her brain multitasked while speaking with Regina to think of a restaurant to take the woman out.

It was also disarming because— Well, Emma was so used to Regina exuding power and confidence, the uncertainty in a question like this wasn’t something Emma was expecting out of the brunette. Not that it was a bad thing - not at all, in fact.

A second to gather herself again and Emma was smiling once more. “Just a date” Which, really, was the most unnerving part of it all. The actual dating aspect of it was the part Emma was bad at. Definitely worth a shot, though. “Just dinner. And a movie, if you wanna be cheesy about it. Or anything else less cliche.”

♚ @disturbxnces

She felt as though her stomach is twisting in all the impossible ways and then some more. The seconds before Emma’s reply were agony for her because Regina was used to people treating her like she didn’t have the right to say ‘no’ or to have a choice at all. All her life people have been using her, that now... She still expected the same treatment. Even from Emma. Who has proved time and time again that she cared for her. 

But the so needed relief came when Emma finally spoke in typical Emma Swan fashion. Which reminded Regina where are they now and what they have been through. 

Emma smiled at the response and nodded. That was some BIG TALK for someone whose love life had been a right mess for over a decade now, wasn’t it? Besides, her relationship with Regina had not been exactly  ea s y  from the start. Emma was certainly acting a lot more confident than she felt, and part of her felt as if Regina could see right through her. Nonetheless, Emma’s posture remained.

“We’ll have plenty of time to satisfy your curiosity.” She smiled; regardless of whether or not she felt confident, Emma was HAPPY. And yes, there were a lot of thoughts running a mile a minute in her head, possibilities of all the things that could go wrong between them, but she was happy. “Shall I pick you up tonight at 7?” A pause. “I’ll ask my dad to pick up Henry from school, he can stay with my parents.”

♚ @disturbxnces

Emma’s smile did nothing to ease the nerves in Regina’s body. On the contrary, she felt even more on edge because Emma was still her old flirty self, confident and exactly what Regina loved about her. She felt as if there were some pretty high expectations when in reality... Well, she already slept with Emma so...

Wait...

What if Emma expected last night to repeat itself? What if she wanted to have her again?

Regina wasn’t ready for that. Not now when they both admitted they want the other. She wanted to get to know Emma more without the physical aspect of that.

          Toni scoffed, adjusting the arm of the suit over her shoulder to try and make it easier to carry. It didn’t. Damn thing was incredible armor, but not great for being carried. She supposed she’d have something to keep herself busy with upon getting home - eliminate this particular problem. Either with lighter materials or—

          Her thoughts were cut short. Toni focused her full attention on Ms. Mills again, frowning and blinking as if thoroughly confused. On some level, she was. For a moment she considered keeping her mouth shut and just allowing the Mayor to take her to the mechanic already - but when did Toni Stark ever follow her better judgement and leave words left unsaid?

          “So what, you’re a DICTATOR or something? Because I’d assume people need to like you in order to vote for you. And I’m not really feeling the  l o v e  here, Madam Mayor. Oh, no, let me guess. You always run unopposed?” Toni chuckled humorlessly and shook her head. “I suppose instilling FEAR into your voters is a pretty cheap and efficient campaign.”

♚ @disturbxnces

Dictator. That word was not strange to her. She has been called like that before. And it was never a insulting one. Although now... This was supposed to be her happy ending but it seemed like everyone else got theirs except hers.

Regina shook her head, chasing the thought out of her head. This woman before her was trouble and would bring only troubles if stayed. “I assure you I was chosen, because despite what you might think some people actually like order before chaos. I provide that for my citizen and they find that to be what they want.”

Why she was replying to such insult was beyond Regina. This woman was utterly irritating with such huge ego that it was sickening. In ways she reminded her of Rumplestiltskin. But without the magic. 

But with this suit instead. 

Emma could not recall one single time when Regina seemed not to know what to say. The brunette always had a quick answer for everything, more often than not a biting, harsh one, too. Seeing her get lost in her words was jarring, and something selfish inside Emma thoroughly enjoyed it. Her ego inflated to think that it was her that made Regina sputter a little. Her lips curled into a smirk at those thoughts, leaning back on her chair and watching the Mayor with amusement. 

At the challenging tone and words, Emma’s smile only widened. There was mixture of glee and something else much warmer shining in her eyes, a mixture that made her chest soar. Emma wouldn’t ever imagined she’d be here, in this position - this morning she had thought whatever progress she had made with Regina had been lost forever due to a stupid mistake. So this was why people kept telling her communication was important, huh? Emma chuckled. 

“I think you know what I’m capable of.” She quirked an eyebrow and covered her smirk with her bottle of water. “But I won’t mind reminding you. After I wine and dine you, that is.”

♚ @disturbxnces

Her heart was about to leap from her chest. Giving someone else the upper hand was way out of her comfort zone. It was something that Regina tend to avoid at all costs. She has been controlled for far too long in her life. But Emma was different. She has been through hell as well and Regina knew that the blonde wasn’t going to hurt anyone intentionally. She just wasn’t that kind of person.

          Maybe this was her chance. Maybe Snow was right about there always being a chance for a happy ending. Maybe up until now Emma was paying her dues and she could finally, finally be rewarded with  h a p p i n e s s  - and Regina, too. Because after all they had been through together, and in the wake of Regina’s own perils, Emma would make it a priority to make her happy, too.

          That is, of course, provided Regina would let her. 

          Blame it on the tension she felt after opening her heart out like that, leaving it bare for Regina to study it as she pleased - but when the brunette finally spoke, Emma let out a snort of laughter. “Not if that’s what you’re calling it,” She argued, amused. Relieved. No matter how she worded it, Regina didn’t look completely opposed to the idea. Not at all.

          “I’m suggesting that we should go on a date. Actually, I’m giving you permission to take me on a date, Your Majesty,” Emma teased. “Better make it count.”

♚ @disturbxnces

For a second Regina is taken aback from the reaction that came from the blonde. But then again this was Emma Swan in front of her and it’s only natural to have responses like that. She looked carefree and not holding anything in, an yet Regina knew that deep down Emma was anything but carefree. 

“I’m sorry but I haven’t been... um...” She chuckled and closed her eyes for a moment. She was complete mess inside right now and wasn’t sure how to proceed. It scared the hell of her because, well... She hasn’t never been courted before. Well, not like this. Like someone actually wanted her and not her throne. Swallowing hard, she decided to make something for the first time in her life. 

          Another sip of water. Toni watched the woman closely as she spoke and breathed out a scoff, glancing towards the little store they were inside of just now. It didn’t look like people liked the Mayor very much, as she claimed. Rather, it seemed more like they were AFRAID of her. Perhaps that was the root of everything, for some reason. Toni shot a rather blatant look at Regina, sizing her before she handed her the bottle and went back to dragging her suit through the street. 

          “What did you do, brainwash them? I know a thing or two about likability, and you are severely lacking it. Which is a real shame. You’re well spoken, you sound smart, you’re a good dresser and you’re attractive. Your attitude, though— Real turn off.” 

♚ @disturbxnces

Regina blinked rapidly when the bottle was shoved in her hands. She did not expected that. But then again the woman had a very heavy looking thing to carry. Probably it was necessary. 

She didn’t miss the once over but decided to ignore it. That was a regular occurrence in the Enchanted Forest when she rules with iron fist. And not so much here. That was one of the things she missed here. 

          Toni had to fight a very real, very childish urge to mock Regina as she spoke. Oh, how she wanted to roll her eyes and repeat the words back to the Mayor in a mocking, high pitched voice. Toni wouldn’t deny the woman had a way with being intimidating - and the store’s employee’s behavior was nothing if proof of it - but it hardly affected her. Toni Stark had lived her life under the shadow of her father; not only that, but one of the closest people to her was Pepper Potts. She could handle a cold stare.

          “Thank you. I’ll pay you for your troubles later,” Toni said to the man handing her the water, then turned to the mayor once more. “Pictures? No, there are enough of those floating around already.” She smiled a nasty, cynical smile while uncapping one of the bottles and turning back towards the door. 

          “I don’t mean to be rude—” Well, she sort of did. “— But I’m pretty sure I have twice the people working for me as there are people living in this town of yours. And that’s only a small percentage of what I do.” Toni pointed at the suit on the floor outside as she stepped closer to it again. “Having an important job to do doesn’t excuse being an ass, Ms. Mills. I’ve learned that - you can learn it too, I’m sure.”

♚ @disturbxnces

Regina inhaled deeply, feeling her lungs with air, and tried hard to ignore the rantings that came from the other woman. She was highly irritating and Regina was in no mood to be in the company of someone who she barely knew and who thought the world is at their feet. 

          For once, it was Emma who rolled her eyes at Regina’s response. It should be annoying, she thought, but such banter between them was such a FAMILIAR thing at this point that Emma found herself feeling more at ease, instead. If Regina was mad, if she had truly negative feelings about Emma’s confession, the blonde figured she wouldn’t be here anymore. Regina wouldn’t bother with a sarcastic remark like that, she would say her piece and leave. 

          But Regina was still here. And she didn’t look like she was going anywhere.

          When the brunette finally started speaking again, Emma held her breath. She didn’t know why, didn’t even realize she did it, but her heart was in her throat and she held on to Regina’s every word like a lifeline. And then she was breathing again, letting out a silent chuckle while a shade of pink painted the highs of her cheeks. A smirk tugged at her lips. “Did you come here just to tell me how good I am in bed?” 

          Another sip of water. She needed to get serious, lest they have another misunderstanding like the one this morning. Emma bit the inside of her lower lip while she held her gaze on Regina, and took in a breath before speaking again. “I thoroughly enjoyed last night. I do think I’d enjoy it more sober… Think maybe we should do things PROPERLY for once and have dinner, though. Y’know, despite already having started  b a c k w a r d s.”

♚ @disturbxnces

A sense of belonging washed over her at Emma’s reply. It was good to know that even after what has transparent between them they could still be their old selves - teasing at the fine line between joking and insulting. And yet it never felt like an insult. Whatever words flew between them felt more like... Just that - teasing. Nothing more. 

And it was all very strange for Regina but she has gotten used to it. So used to it that after last night she was afraid of losing that kind of conversation with the blonde. 

But it was obvious that that hasn’t changed between them. And if she has to be hones with herself, she is relieved by it. Because losing a friend just because she gave herself to the stupid feelings that she is trying to hide... That would be the most stupid thing she has ever done. And she pride herself to be smart woman. 

          The weight of her own words settled in as they fell into silence. Emma’s heart was beating about as fast as it was this morning when she found herself awaking next to Regina, or even last night when her wandering tongue started tasting that tempting, warm skin for the first time. Emma once more averted her gaze at the thought, picking up the bottle of water at her desk to take a drink from it. 

          “I—” Emma looked back at Regina; it was her turn to search the other’s eyes, brown and deep and seemingly so bright in that moment. Like her own thoughts were running as wild as Emma’s. She sighed, measured her words, and once she knew what to say - the only HONEST answer - Emma scoffed at herself. “I couldn’t bear being rejected. So I did what I always do… I pushed you away before you could do it instead.”

          There was absolutely no way out of this one now. Whatever happened next, Regina would always be aware of how Emma felt. Regina would always know that Emma wanted her, and wanted her deeply enough that the thought of Regina not wanting her back was unbearable. The brunette could do with that information as she pleased; and Christ, despite her boldness Emma found herself scared again. Even if logic told her that Regina was here for a reason, that she had gotten upset by Emma’s words that morning for a reason, she was terrified of being wrong. Oh, if only she had something stronger than water.

          “Whatever you have to say, say it now. You’re kinda killing me here.”

♚ @disturbxnces

Suddenly there was a lump stuck in her throat which happened to be dry all of a sudden. Every word that left those incredibly soft lips were changing the way she saw the last night’s events, as well as this morning’s. All has changed after what Emma has said and Regina shook her head. Emma did have a great history with running away from the problems. It would seem that the blonde always chose the easiest way. 

Just like she did when she chose the curse over moving on from Daniel’s death.

A sign left her lips while her tongue darted out to wet them. “I...” She cleared her throat. “And here I thought you just wanted someone to fuck and I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.” She couldn’t help the sarcastic reply. It was bigger than her. It was her coping mechanism. 

And their eyes met once more she knew Emma a wreck inside while waiting for her answer. Answer about what last night was for her. Because despite everything that they have been through. she knew Emma.