The MD Approach

5/20/24- Lol SO I forgot this blog existed and I just got an email reminding me. Year 3 just finished, this photo is from an overnight backpacking trip I did to celebrate. Hard to believe how fast time is going- one year left and then I will officially be an MD!

9/12/22- She's an M2!

Summertime was everything I could have asked for. I spent time with family, I travelled and visited old friends, I made new friends, I explored locally, I climbed, backpacked, and camped. But most of all, I had a chance to reset. By the end of last year, burnout had started to loom over me- medicine didn't excite me, and I was just going through the motions to get through the year. But starting this new year, I feel re-energized. It's so exciting to see how far we have come compared to this time last year- we didn't know what a differential was, we didn't know any physical exams... we really knew nothing.

And tbh we pretty much still know nothing haha- BUT it is so much growth regardless. And I'm proud of us for that!

5/1/22- The End of M1

Well, this blog did not survive through the final term of M1, oops. But you read the title- the first year of medical school is complete! I'm technically in a research block for the next 5 weeks, but there's no more classes, exams, labs, etc.- so I figured this would be a good time to reflect on my experience of making it through the first year of medical school.

I think sometimes it can be so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day hustle, and all you can do is make it through to the next day, the next weekend. And through that process, it's hard to remember the big picture- that I was accepted into my top choice medical school, I get to live in an absolutely beautiful place, have kind and incredibly intelligent classmates, have the privilege of living by myself and have wonderful landlords, and bottom line- am getting to pursue the career I have been aspiring towards for so many years! How can I not be grateful for all of that??

Is medical school hard? Yes. Has it made me cry and question why I'm putting myself through this? Yes. But I think I can honestly say that big picture, I wouldn't want to be doing anything else. And I feel so lucky to have this opportunity to learn in a safe environment.

2/23/22, Week 22-24:

Oops, I definitely disappeared for a while. These past couple weeks have been extremely busy, but thankfully we had our midterm yesterday and I feel pretty good about it! Goodbye neuro and anemia- I'm ready for something new.

--

School has actually been pretty good recently. There's been several days where I just find myself so genuinely excited about what I am studying, and the path that medicine puts me on. My family practice placement this term was phenomenal, I feel like I learned so much from my preceptor, both about clinical presentations and about communicating with patients.

I'm also pretty stoked about our FLEX/research time coming up in April- I'm planning to look at how arts-based methods of knowledge translation can be used to share patient experiences. It's a little different from traditional research, but I think it's going to help me grow a lot as a health advocate. Idk, I'm excited.

--

1/30/22- Week 20+21

Apparently I took like no school photos these past 2 weeks, oops. Only one more week of online school, which is extremely exciting! These 2 weeks have been a bit of a blur, but some of the highlights:

removing the brain in gross anatomy

doing a Q&A meet and greet with people interviewing for med this cycle

grabbing lunch with friends at a cute vegan cafe

exploring some new outdoor areas on the weekend

watching Banff film festival with a new friend from the climbing gym

I've actually been somewhat enjoying neuro, even if it is a bit all consuming. But as you can probably tell, the big highlights have been connecting with people and getting outside- otherwise I start to feel like I've forgotten what life is like outside of my basement suite!

1/17/22, Week 19/20:

My god, these past 2 weeks have been tough.

They tried to warn us that MEDD412 would start off with a bang! But I think switching to Zoom school and immersing ourselves in neuroanatomy has been a more brutal combination than any of us expected. There have been some perks to online school, like extra sleep and not having to commute- but they doesn't outweigh the loneliness and Zoom fatigue.

I'm trying hard to do the best I can to take care of my mental health, making sure to get outside every Saturday and still prioritize climbing. But honestly, it has been kind of rough. Just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

12/31/21, End of MED411/Christmas Break Reflections

Well, we are 1/8th of the way to MD!

Break has been the sweetest thing. I didn't set any big goals for myself except for to relax, enjoy time with family, and unwind. I read an entire fantasy trilogy, embraced my inner child and went sledding, played board games, repotted my plants, did a coffee cleanse, started running again.. it's been so so good.

But as I write, there are only a few days between me and MED412. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous, I've been putting a lot of faith in having a new start to be more on top of things. I've plunked myself down in my favourite home-town cafe (having coffee for the first time in 2 weeks which is delicious!!), and going to put some thought into how I want to structure my life this next term.

Due to Omicron, we have been informed we will be in a hybrid format for at least January. So I need to figure out how to not become depressed when I am spending my entire day alone in my basement lol. But Idk, I'm still excited. I guess I am always, perhaps naïvely, excited for a new start. I bought a bouldering crash pad finally, so I'm hoping to get out into the forest and onto some rocks on the weekends, so that can help keep me sane.

Anyways. A happy new year, and here's to a new start!

12/6/21, Week 15:

I can't believe we are in the *final week* of first term medical school! In some ways these past 5 months have felt like an entire lifetime, but I am so happy and proud to be coming out the other side (hopefully, lol).

Our class did a Secret Santa gift exchange today, which I have to say was so much fun! I really am so grateful that our class is so close, and that I feel like I belong as a part of that.

We had our first OSCE over the weekend, so am really happy to have that over with. Now just to study relentlessly for the next week... but then it's Christmas vacation baby!

11/28/21, Week 14:

Oliver with his head stuck in the TP roll is pretty much me heading into this finals season- blindly moving forwards! Had my 'mOSCE' this morning, a mock OSCE put on by the 2nd years to help us prepare for our real OSCE next weekend. It was definitely a little nerve-wracking, but I think I've got the clinical exam checklists mostly memorized now, which is a relief.

Also got to donate blood on Saturday, O- baby! Was pleased that my iron was much higher than the cut-off. Not sure if going climbing afterwards was my smartest idea haha, but got 2 new sends so I have no regrets.

11/22/21, Week 13:

🏠 I got to go home!! I haven't ever lived this close to home, so that just wasn't an option before- but it was so wonderful to just sit on the couch and read a book, eat a home cooked meal, and be with family. It was so so refreshing, even if I got less review done than I would have liked.

🏃‍♀️ I've also been pleased about starting to do some running again. I pulled something in my hand while climbing, so have sadly been forced into taking at least a week off, but that's turned out to be just the kick-off I needed to pull on the running shoes again! Went for a run with Dad while home, and just went for another short run at lunch today- I'm still a lot slower than I was last spring, but I'm happy with the progress I'm seeing.

11/14/21, Week 12:

We got our midterm results back this week- and I passed!! I actually did so much better than I had expected, and now I feel like I can take a breath, thank god. After weeks of struggling to fight the feeling that I'm an imposter and that I don't belong here, this grade felt like proof to myself that I can do this.

Other highlights of the week included:

buying 12 new whiteboard markers

getting a peppermint mocha

going climbing with new friends!

11/8/21, Week 11:

This was a really good week 😊. Going to the hospital to learn the head and neck exam, knowing that one day we will roam these halls to help with patient care. And my first family practice visit! Actually getting to interact with patients and take some histories reminded me why all the studying is worth it. The information that can seem dry and lifeless in the classroom, suddenly helps with narrowing down a differential diagnosis, and with understanding where this patient’s pain is coming from. It’s really pretty amazing, and has definitely helped give me motivation for studying.

10/31/21, Week 10:

I tried to make this post mirror what I've been focusing on- balance.

Since the midterm, I've been feeling extra motivated to stay on top of my studies, so that things don't pile up like they did last time. So far I think it's working pretty well- sticking to my anki reviews, and making sure to focus on review instead of spending so much time on little weekly assignments.

However, I'm also really trying to balance myself. Taking the full day off yesterday was amazing- I went thrift shopping, went climbing, and read by the beach (even though it was freezing cold, it was beautiful). And today, I feel ready to go and work all day.

10/21/21, Week 8 (and a half):

THE MIDTERM IS OVER!! And I can finally breathe again.

This last week was absolutely brutal. I felt as though my entire existence had been boiled down to a medical student- go to class all day, study all night, sleep restlessly, repeat. (Although I have to say, our suturing workshop was actually a lot of fun. Mad respect to the surgeons out there). The only thing that helped ease the anxiety was going climbing Friday night, which made me realize moving forward how 100% essential it is to do the things that make me feel like a person, and not just a student.

10/10/21, Week 7:

Well, the midterm stress is hitting hard. But it was so lovely to see my family for a day. I realized this is the first Thanksgiving I have actually spent with family in 6 years! Although the nagging test stress didn't completely go away, it felt so good to laugh, relax, play board games, and just spend time together as a family.

Started case-based discussion (CBL) with a new group this week, which has been a bit of a mixed bag. It feels impossible not to compare yourself to others and feel as though you are coming up short, but having friends to talk to who are feeling similarly has really helped with that. Also trying to use more of the CBT skills I've been learning to fight those thoughts!

10/3/21, Week 6:

After the disaster that was last week, this week was surprisingly a lot better. I think because I know how stressed I was last weekend, I was extra motivated to stay on top of my lecture reviews so the weekend isn't so horrible. Thoughts from the week:

I discovered my favourite antibody to say is Moxifloxacin.

It was surprisingly sad when our 'fake patient' passed away at the end of this week. After spending a week coming up with differential diagnoses and treatment plans, it was hard to accept that it wasn't enough. I can't imagine what it will feel like to lose your first actual patient.

With the midterm only 2 weeks away, I think everyone's anxiety is rising, but finally feeling like I have a way of managing my notes to review from is a huge relief. We have slightly less lecture this week, and this next weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving, so I'm hoping I can use that extra time to get fully caught up and actually start using my memory maps for active review.

Also, re-discovered that parties are not my thing. But that's okay, I'm still happy I went to bond with my classmates.

9/26/21- Week 5

There's a part of me that is tempted to gloss over this week, and only focus on the good things. And there were a lot of good things:

- a beautiful 10 km run on a sunny Saturday morning

- getting coffee and studying with a new friend

- getting to be the one to disconnect and take out the lung in GA lab!

-my snuggly lil hedgie

But this was a really hard week. I ended it feeling deflated, exhausted. I still don't have a good system for my studying, and with our first midterm only 3 weeks away it's really hard to keep down my anxiety. Talking with my family on Friday about this did help, but it can be easy to feel so alone in this stress.

(As embarrassing as it is to admit), I think I always thought I would be an 'exception', and that med school would be difficult, but not anything I couldn't handle. Now I am realizing that there's a reason why people say medical school is the hardest thing they've ever done!