this is empty.

It was supposed to be just one cup. I had agreed to meet for coffee. It was an odd decision coming from an introvert, and even odder that it never crossed my mind to cancel. Just one cup of coffee, I thought. And I had it all planned out. It wouldn’t be anywhere near my city, and I’d have to have another appointment. So after Friday night didn’t work out, I decided I’d finally try this treatment I’ve always wanted to try. I mean, I was on a roll feeling adventurous: I had just come from a weeklong solo trip to Hokkaido, was newly single, was meeting a complete stranger (just this once!). So why not finally get my face zapped, right? Right. But I digress.

August 11. Just before 10:30AM. I see the “old” guy (he wasn’t), smack middle (that’s a very middle middle), in a white/red shirt. I walk up to you and call you by the name you gave. You look up, say something, then seemingly go back to watching a video on your phone (to my confusion). You put away your phone and look back up at me, and tell me your real name.

I held out my hand to shake yours to establish that it was not a date. When you suggested that I had to get to my appointment (a little too early, I thought with a tinge of disappointment), I walked as fast as I could to get the door for myself. I purposefully scheduled an appointment one hour after our agreed meet-up so I would have an excuse to get away. Heck, I even wore the baggiest hoodie I could find! The only thing I probably didn’t plan out was how utterly boring my story was compared to yours. But all of these were for naught when you shared your life story with me (normally that would have weirded me out, but this time it amused me), held the door for me (yes, the door I tried so hard to get for myself), and walked me to the clinic. Like the way your advice struck me in an odd way, so did you. I didn’t know it then, but you struck me right at my heart.

It was my first day on a solo trip in Japan, my dream vacation of seeing Hokkaido in summer, 3 to 4 years in the making. I was resting in my small tatami room in Asahikawa (I forget if it was before or after I visited the zoo--quite possibly the latter). I was a little too happy and giddy to start my week-long adventure until I realized I had a question I needed answered a week or so from then. I had already done my own brief retrospective, but needed the perspective of another person, because I don’t quite understand men.

I post, and try to screen the people who reached out. Got inputs from about 4 people (there were more but others were just too shady) who more or less said the same thing. There was one that struck me, but I tried not to think too much about it and enjoyed the rest of the week in Hokkaido. I’m on vacation, anyway.

It’s a beautiful place, by the way. I doubt any one season is more beautiful than the others, but spring with its vibrant colors is definitely a must-see. So many views, having laid my eyes upon them, have taken my breath away.

Out of the (only--lol, surprisingly! I’d have gone there every year of my multiple entry visa had I not gone to study abroad in 2017) four times I’ve been to Japan, nothing would beat my (summer) July 2019 trip. I wanted it. I planned it. I spent what others would spend on round-trip tickets to Europe on it, using my own money. For seven days, my only companion was myself so I went at my own pace.

In some ways, I would associate it with the end of something, much like the end of July 27th as I watched the sun set behind the mountains from Mt. Moiwa. But in retrospect, I feel more strongly about it being the beginning of something beautiful. I didn’t know it then, but I met the love of my life (while I was) in Japan.