Is it Macaroni or McCartney?

—

Satoko Kawasaki, Japan Times, March 26, 2013

Ringo: what was it that first attracted you to me?

John, immediately: well you’re very polite aren’t you?

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Paul: my skin’s soaked right through to the skin!

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*Ringo screaming as his arm is being pulled through a post office mailbox*

John: what are you doing?

Ringo, calmly: posting a letter.

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John, surrounded by Paul, George, Ringo, and that government security guy: hold on, it’s them! Only me and Paul know we’re here!

George, pouting: I know we’re here!

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John: are these footprints in my soup?

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Paul, nonchalantly after being accidently stabbed in the leg with a powerful shrinking potion: maybe it won’t take.

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Ringo, covered in red paint: *weeps softly*

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George: it’s a thingie! A fiendish thingie!

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George: you’re all red again!

Ringo: I know, I’m beginning to like it.

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John: stop dragging things down to your own level. It’s immature, son.

Ringo: I thought she was a sandwich.

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*George, trying to fight the bad guys but accidently choking John instead*

John: it’s me, you fool!

George, still choking him: oh, sorry.

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Paul, to John after listening through a hose that was just ominously drilled through the wall: it’s for you.

John: who is it?

Paul: the gardener.

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*Paul laying on the ground, trying to “track” the temple*

John: dare we ask how you know?

Paul: I found these footprints and this guide book which points out places of local worship.

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Ringo to the bartender: two lagers and lime and two lagers and lime.

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Ringo: look John, I’ve had some great times with this finger. And how do you know I wouldn’t miss it?

Paul: you’re a rat underneath, aren’t you?

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*Ringo strapped to weird machine*

John, offering Ringo a lighbulb as a microphone: how do you feel?

Ringo: I used to use me hand.

John, funny voice: he used to use his hand.

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Ringo: they have to paint me red before they chop me. it’s a different religion from ours, I think.

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George, referring to Ringo potentially losing a finger: hey, there might be some insurance.

John: I wouldn’t think of such a thing! *under his breath* find out, eh?

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Ringo, pointing to red blob on his shoe: we thought that was you!

Paul: no, that’s not me.

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Subtext: everyone laughes at Ringo’s sudden apprehension.

*cut to only George and John laughing awkwardly back and forth with increasing intensity*

–

~c. 1974

the beatles, january/1969

the beatles helping george harrison with the song "something":

george harrison: "what could it be, paul? it's like, i think of what attracted me at all"

john lennon: "just say whatever comes into your head: 'attracts me like a cauliflower' until you get the word, you know"

george harrison: "yeah but i have been through this one, like, for about six months"

john lennon: "you haven't had fifteen people joining in, though"

george harrison: "no, i mean, just that line... i couldn't thing of anything like a..."

john lennon: "(sings) 'something in the way she moves/attracts'... 'grabs' instead of 'attracts'"

george harrison: "but it's not as easy to say..."

john lennon: "(singing) 'grabs me like a southern honky-tonk...'"

george harrison & john lennon: "(singing) 'something in the way she moves/and like a la la la...'"

john lennon: "grabs me like a monkey on a tree"

george harrison & john lennon: "(singing) 'something in the way she moves/and all i having to do is think of her/something in the way she shows...'"

george harrison: "i don't like moths"

john lennon: "yeah"

paul mccartney: "it's a lovely image, a moth"

george harrison: "(singing) 'attracts me like a pomegranate...'. we could have that: 'attracts me like a pomegranate' (laughs)"

john lennon & paul mccartney: "(singing) 'something in the way she moves...'"

george harrison: "where's my drink, mal? (sings) 'attracts me like a mo-'. you see, there's the timing on there which is quite important"

george harrison & john lennon: "(singing) 'something in the way she moves/attracts me like a moth to granite...'"

george harrison: "pomegranate"