You have such a pretty face!

Dad, where did you go?

Where is my tall oak tree?

The man who was so strong,

nothing could tear him down.

The one who worked 16 hour days on the farm.

My hunter, fisherman, gardener, and my hero!

Everything I touch I spoil.

Like a blight of a crop,

I ruin what nourishes me.

My words mar feelings.

Relationships become blemished by my stress.

In the deep,

dark recesses

of my mind,

there you are.

Always fogging

my thoughts.

Always making me

feel unwanted.

Making me feel

like I’m not worth

anyone’s attention.

For the millionth time,

day after day,

year after year.

25 years.

I’m not worth it.

It never changes.

It never will.

You will forever

be my

Every morning I wonder

is today the day?

The day you realize

I’m nothing.

When you no longer

want to bother with me.

When you feel

I’m just a nuisance.

Please,

not today.

Every emotion

imaginable

swells inside of me

daily.

Almost every one

is because of you.

Joy

when I see your face

in the morning.

Happiness

as your words

put a smile on my face.

Excitement and anxiousness

as I reply and wait

for your words in return.

I can’t quite sum up

the emotion that is a constant

running through my veins.

All I know is

I want every emotion

My bed seems lonely

without you

even though

you’ve never

been in it.

.

The sheets

are cold

and I am

longing

for your warmth.

.

I’ll imagine

your arms around me

holding me

tight

and secure.

.

At least I have

my imagination

to keep me

company

You’ve become my person.

The one I go to

with my problems,

issues, concerns,

and worries.

.

I’m scared.

I cant lose you.

I won’t survive it.

I’ve lost too many people

I love

that I could want you

even more

No more

fear,

doubt,

or anxiety.

Knowing you care

and will take care

of me.

Only anticipation

It just keeps growing.

Getting stronger and stronger,

not slowing down.

Eating at me,

not fading away.

I may burst from the inside out

Speed up

And get to the parts

Of life I enjoy

.

Slow down

And let me linger

In blissful times

.

Never content

With the

Hold me and

help me stay.

Help me from

turning and running away.

Keep me here,

don’t let me go.

Tell me you need me

Asleep

Check

Turn off lights again

Check

Close door again

Check

Laundry in the basket

Check

Asleep

My favorite color

is Kentucky Sky.

Sunrise, sunset,

clear, cloudy,

stormy.

It’s a part of

my soul.

I wish I lived on the 14th floor.

Little studio apartment.

Alone.

No one to bother me.

Peaceful.

Free.

And high enough up

I feel it

everyday,

growing constantly.

The need continually

increases.

A steady climb

that I didn’t want

to happen

ever again.

That want

gnawing at me.

The need for another

person consumes me.

Not just anyone,

not just someone to

fill the void.

It needs to be you.

I need your smile,

laughter,

voice,

passion.

I desire you.

You’re always there

in my mind.

Always just

one thought away.

Floating around

in my brain

wanting attention.

I try not to linger

on the thoughts of you.

If I do,

time slips away from me.

Minutes pass

without me realizing it.

But oh,

what wonderful