The Lithium Queen

women down

shaming their bodies

and their choices

but still

needs your mommy

to do your

laundry

in heavy chains

with a silver

old fashioned stain

but just now i realised

the keys were with me

the whole fucking time

setting myself free

telling you i am no part

of your fucking property

that i’m not yours

or anybody else’s fool

that i am not

an empty house

that you can just

tear the windows down

i am mine

and forever will be

mine.

as i enter the airplane

i concentrate on the peonies tattoed

on top of old sorrows

and i think to myself

how funny it is that

life imitates art

because i am too

here, on this airplane

flowering from the things that broke me inside.

stubborn

reminding me that

i’m still me

i’m still alive

and that, itself

should be enough.

it means self love, they say

but how can it be self love when

the only reason i do it is for

someone else to love me

like i am supposed to

love myself.

and made me believe that was freedom

you supressed who i am

and made me believe that was acceptance

so it isn’t surprising to me that

you pushed my head down

and made me believe it was consent.

i still got miles of fight

left inside of me.

and abused

always hoping the next one

won’t tear my body as i cry

because maybe my no

wasn’t clear enough

for your sick mind.

because you don’t make love

you fuck empty bodies

with beautiful minds

and ugly stories.

is that you fight to love people

that you weren’t told to love

being gay is realizing that afterall

love is nothing but a choice.