day 91

If I keep things to myself any longer, I might shed years off my life from being such a miserable prick. Every day I'm trying to fix me, but I'm tired man. I can't help but wonder if this is a normal sensation, are we all going through it, is it our generation, or is it just me.

I have been off of social media for a solid few years, I remember when any time I had a good hair day, I had a reason to post a selfie. Now I'm like....fuck you. Fuck all of you. I couldn't even tell you where that shift happened, it wasn't a singular instance, I'm not traumatized by anything. It's the classic death by a thousand paper cuts, and I think if I didn't have family love around me I might be fucked emotionally and mentally.

So what do you do when you're aware that life sucks right now, but it's not permanent, you know it's not, and you know it will get better one day, but that day may not be today or tomorrow or even this year?

I normalized the feeling until it kind of took over, so we're back here at square one saying nah this ain't chill mate we have more power than that... It's also fascinating how one empowering thought and a deep breath changes your perspective even for a split second, isn't it..

What is it that heals a person, when they're too tired to find healing?

Here's a poem I guess, for you, whoever reads this.