The Koopalings And Stuffs

The Nurse: "Here is your little one back... A happy, healthy baby girl..."

Kaley: :D "... Let the kids hold her..."

Spewart: *Holding le bebe* "......"

Kaley: "Um... You okay, hon?"

Beef: "I can take her if you want!"

Spewart: "N-No, I'm fine...!"

Kaley: "Drive safely! OH WAIT- Spewart, can we talk to just you for a sec?"

Spewart: ? "Um, sure! You guys go get in the car, I'll be right with ya!!!"

Spewart: "So, what's up?"

Kaley: "There is something that the two of us needed to ask you."

Spewart: "Umm, what is it?"

Beef: "Well. You know how you and your siblings are kind of... Lil' Marge's back-up family?"

Spewart: "Yeah...?"

Spewart: "Oh! I-I mean. Of course! But you said you had a question for me...?"

Kaley: "You're eighteen, right?"

Spewart "... Yes?"

Kaley: "Well. We'd need to get some paperwork, I think, but... How would you like to be Marge's godfather?"

"I. GIVE. UP!!!!!!"

"This WHOLE day has gone to SHIT!!! The entire plan has fallen apart!!! Topper is lost, Spewart abandoned me, and Rango's still nowhere to be found!!! That poor baby's life is off to a horrible start, and everything is just a DISASTER!!!!! Why can't even the simplest things go my way?? I don't ask for much!!!!!"

Hariet: *Gasp* 'Thank you!!!' *Runs off*

Beef: "Umm... Nope! We're just waiting for the doctors to bring the baby back!"

Hariet: "Ah, okay! It seems that everything HAS, in fact, gone according to plan!!! It's all going great! All thanks to me!!!" :D

Kaley: "Yep yep, good job, sweetheart!!!"

Hariet: "It could have gone better, of course..."

Spewart: "..."

Hariet: "And YOU!!!"

Spewart: *SQUEAK*

Hariet: "You actually did a very good job today! I'm impressed! You overcame your discomfort, did everything you were told to, didn't mess up, and- *blah blah blah*

Spewart: "I... Y-Yeah, I guess s-so...!"

Hariet: :3

Kaley: "Ooh! Do I hear footsteps?! I think the doctor's coming back!!!!!"

>Inside room 235<

Spewart: "This~?" *Pulls out the star bunny plush* "Just a little gift for the baby, of course!"

Beef: "Aww, how thoughtful!"

Spewart: "So... How are things going in here...?"

Beef: "Kaley JUST gave birth! The doctors took the baby and are doing some tests on it and cleaning it and all that jazz... I'm filling out the birth certificate."

Spewart: "Oh...!!"

Kaley: *Asleep*

Beef: "I can't wait until they bring our beautiful baby girl back, and we can hold her..."

Spewart: *Nervous smile* "So... What are you going to name her?"

Beef: "I'm glad you think that... I was going to make her middle name... Theresa, actually, but I figured that'd be weird to you and not honoring. Also, Kaley said it didn't have a good ring to it-"

Spewart: "OH! Um...!" *Unsure what to say*

Beef: "Hey, by chance, do you know where ANY of your siblings are...?"

Spewart: *Looks around* "Ummmm..."

Topper: *Runs into the room* "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BROTHER!?!?"

Dr. Fever: "Oh? We found this rabbit laying on the ground, seemingly unconscious a few minutes ago..."

Dr. Chills: "He's not FULLY out, but his state is very... Not good."

Rango: "T... Topper......? Is that... You?"

Dr. Weird: "We haven't figured out exactly what the issue is yet... But we'll get there!" *Poke*

Topper: "Agh, his blood sugar is probably low!!! Do you mind if I...?"

The doctors: "Sure!"

Topper: *Forces the mint into Rango's mouth*

Rango: ! *Swallows it whole*

Topper: "Here, um, eat some more..." *Makes Rango swallow the rest of the mints*

Rango: "Ugh........."

Topper: "...... How do you feel?"

Rango: "Like I wanna punch you in the face..."

Topper: "That's good enough for me!! Now come on, do you think you can stand up?"

Topper: "I... I don't know if we have time...! Do you know anything about a patient named Kaley Fitness???"

Dr. Fever: "Oh yeah! She just gave birth!!"

Topper: "WHAT??? Where is she!?"

Dr. Weird: "Room 235!"

Topper: "C'mon, Rango, we gotta go!!!"

>Somewhere in the hospital<

Child: *Gasp*

Topper: ? "Oh...!"

Child: *Runs off*

Topper: "Aw!" :3

Yoshi Mama: "Ooh! Thank you SO much for helping my baby, sir! I don't know what we would do without you!!! You truly are a hero!"

Topper: "Ah, um, it's no problem! Really! I can't think of a single person who WOULDN'T help in a situation like this!!!"

Child: 'I love you!' :D

Topper: "Umm..." 'Love you, too!' "Okay, stay safe and careful, you two!! We wouldn't want you to lose each other again!!! Goodbye!"

>At the children's library<

Topper: "Um... Need help, little fella?"

Child Two: :0 "Yes please!!!"

Topper: "There ya go!"

Child Two: "Thanks a lot, mister!!!"

Topper: "Any time!!"

Topper: *Walks over* "You doin' okay?"

Child Three: "...... Can you help me read?" :<

Topper: "I-"

Child Three: "If you're not busy, of course!!!"

Topper: "I'd love to!!!" *Sits down*

>Inside Room 235<

Hariet: "WHERE DID HE GO!?!?"

Beef: "He probably needed to use the restroom, honey! Calm down!"

Kaley: *Screaming in the background*

Hariet: "He had ONE job!!!!!" D:<

Beef: "He-"

Hariet: *Calls him*

Hariet: "......... I'm going to go look for him."

Beef: "I really don't think you should-"

Hariet: *Walks out*

Beef: "..........................."

Kaley: "I THINK IT'S COMIIIIIIING!!!!!"

>In Walmart; The baby stuff aisle<

?????: "First time, eh?"

Spewart: "............... What?"

Lydia: "Aw, must be... You see, hon, it may be really stressful sometimes, but. Well, there's two sides to the parenting coin! Having children is one of the most special, rewarding things. Watching your little bundle of joy reflect all the love you put into it and turn into an intelligent, beautiful, big, strong, adult someday..."

"There's going to be ups, downs, and LOTS of "I don't even know what to make of this-es," and in the end, you will see that parenthood is one of the best roller-coasters you could ever go on..."

Spewart "I... Uh... Wow... How many kids do you have?"

Spewart "Woah-"

Lydia: "From one parent to another. You got this." *Smiles*

Spewart: *Slowly smiles, too* "Um... What kind of toys would you recommend for a baby gir?"

Lydia: "Mmm... My girls were all fans of stuffed animals. Bunnies, ironically... Ha ha... Maybe get some of those! But babies don't really tend to be picky... Oh, and here's a tip: lf the toy is an annoying, talking electronic one... Well, who can tell the difference between batteries dying and simply being removed? Kids sure can't!!!"

Spewart "Ha... Thanks! I'll remember that."

>At the hospital<

Rango: (I am so fuckin' hungry... I'm not even craving sugar anymore—l just need SOMETHING to eat... I think I saw a cafeteria in here earlier? So I don't even have to leave the hospital!! I can just go get a snack and come back real quick! I'm sure Hariet won't mind if I'm gone for just a minute or two!)

>In the hospital<

Child: 'Cool!' :D *Back to rapidly signing things that Topper doesn't understand*

Topper: (Huh. He sure does have a lot to say... I mean, it would be nice if I could figure out exactly WHAT he's saying...)

*The two walk past a children's library*

Topper: "Hmmm..." 'Wait here'

>Right outside the local Walmart<

>Hospital parking lot<

Hariet: "Splendid! Well, it WAS Topper's job to go to the store and buy a bunch of baby toys and such, but... Since he's missing, and you're already outside, YOU can go do it."

Spewart: "Alright... This isn't so bad...!"

Hariet: "Remember, I am putting a LOT of faith in you right now!!! I wouldn't be surprised to find out you just went to the house the very minute I sent you outside..."

Spewart: >:(

>At the local Walmart<

*Beep*

Rango: ? *Checks his phone* "Oh! My blood sugar levels are getting pretty low......"

(Hmm... Ooh, we passed a 7/11 on our way here! I bet that place has some real tasty, sugary junk food I could eat... Or even just a simple Slurpie! That sounds really good right about now...)

*Opens the door* "Hey sis, can I please go to-"

Rango: "NOTHING!!! It's nothing...! I'm fine!!!"

>Outside Room 235<

Hariet: "Rango, you get to go INSIDE the room. Keep her company, hold her hand, comfort her, tell her to push—All that stuff! I chose you since you're the most charismatic."

Rango: "Wait... W-What...?"

Hariet: "Is there a problem? It's easy! You don't have to help deliver the baby or anything...!!"

Rango: "... I-I don't know how I feel about... Um... Being in the same room as a lady with her pants off and her legs spread." :(

Hariet: "... What do you mean?"

Rango: "I don't know, just um... It feels weird, and uh.. I don't think that's something I should be watching." *Clearly very uncomfortable and sweating* "Please don't make me go in there!!!"

Hariet: "... Are you afraid of vaginas or something?? Rango, this would have been VERY GOOD to know BEFORE NOW!!!"

Rango: "I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S GROSS!!!!!"

Hariet: "... Okay, how about this? I go in there, and you stay out here to guard the door!"

Rango: "I-I would p-prefer that..."

Spewart: *Trying to sneak away*

Hariet: "And YOU."

Spewart: *SQUEAK*

Hariet "Listen, I am putting my utmost faith into you, Spewart. I need you to go into the parking lot and find Beef and Kaley's car. Make sure that they have a car seat for the baby, and that it is strapped in RIGHT. This hospital will not let that baby leave if they do not have one. And if they don't have one, we have a spare one in the trunk. Attached to it is a link to a tutorial video on how to strap it in and adjiust the straps. |'ve already done the math on roughly how long the straps will need to be, so-"

Spewart "Woah, woah, slow down!! Can you, like, write all this out or something??

Hariet "No!! Now go!! Hurry!!!"

*Somebody suddenly tugs on Topper's sleeve*

Topper: "What the-... What do you want, ya little brat?? Scram!!!"

Child: "....................."

Topper: "Well??"

Child: "..." *Moves his hands around*

Topper: "Oh. You're... Deaf. Well, not that you can understand me, but I can't help you."

Child: "........."

Topper: "..." (I... I DO remember a little bit of ASL from that one foster family... Hm... I guess I might know enough to at least get this kid help...) 'What'

Topper: "......" (Eh. It's not like I have anything better to do...) 'Yes'

>Morning, at the Broodals' house<

Rango: *Barges into the room* "Everybody stop what you're doing!!! WE HAVE A CRISIS!!!"

Topper: "Pffft, what? Are we out of popsicles?"

Rango: "NO DUDE!!! Kaley's water broke!!! Beef just texted me!! They're on their way to the hospital right now!!!"

Spewart: "What??? Ohhhfuckfuckfuck-"

Topper: "Already?? I thought she wasn't due for at least another week!!!"

Rango: "... Why-"

Topper: "Oh, thank God!!!"

Hariet: "Step One of this operation is to... Well, get to the hospital, obviously."

*Everyone looks over to Spewart*

Spewart: "... Woah, um. Are you SURE we have to come?? I mean... What good will us being there do anyway? Who would want four teenagers present on such a stressful day like this?? I think we should just stay home and text them afterwards to make sure everything went well." :)

Rango: ".............................. You're joking, right?"

Hariet: "Bro, we don't have time for this!!!"

Topper: "YOU don't have to be in this child's life, but WE want to!!! So either let's go, or... We'll just have Rango drive us."

Rango: "Wait, for real?"

Spewart: "......" *Sigh* "Fine, I'll get my keys..."

>At the hospital<

Rango: "Wait, where did Topper go??"

Spewart: *Looks around* "Oh no! We should-"

Rango: "... What do you mean? Is everything okay?"

Spewart: "... Yeahh...... I'm fine..."

Rango: "......" :( *Squeak*

Roy: "Spewart!! What do you want?"

Spewart: "I'll just have whatever you're having..."

Roy: "... It's ice-cream. Are you sure?"

Spewart: "I don't care."

Iggy: "Damn, Roy, you should really eat with your mouth closed. You're getting white cream all over your face!"

Spewart: -!

Iggy: "Either spit it or swallow it—Ya can't do both! I've learned from experience~"

Roy: "IGGY!!!"

Roy: "... Ya really think so?"

Spewart: "Yeah!" *Snickering*

Iggy: "..." *Smirks* "Y'knooow, sex is a lot like math! You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide your legs a pray we don't multiply~" ;3

(All text in this post should be in French, but has been translated for viewer convenience)

Aubergine: "See, T, I told you he'd be here!!!"

Tige: "Wow... I don't even know what to ask you... Just. What's it like living here???"

Peasley: "Good-! It's very nice... How are things back home?"

Aubergine: "Just fine... But it's never the same without you... Though, we DO have a new friend in our group-! He says he was close with you... Though, he's not here with us right now..."

Tige: "BY THE WAY- Are you still with Pine? Did you make long-distance work...?"

Tige: "AUBERGINE!!!"

Aubergine: "What? You didn't like Pine either! Nobody did! I'm very happy to see Peasley has moved on. And his new partner seems lovely."

Tige: *Shaking his head*

Peasley: "..." *Looks around* "Where's Fraise?"

Tige: "She actually goes by Cerise, now! But she's riiiight... There!" *Points*

Peasley: "... Sometimes I forget how tall the women of our species are." *Snickers*

Aubergine: *Laughs in short beta male*

Tige: "OOH, we should give you our numbers!"

Peasley: "Please do-!"

DLHS, Volleyball Game

Peasley: "I'm gonna go to the guest side and see if I can find anyone... Girls, behave!!!"

Nabbit, Mimi, & Motley: "We won't!" :3

Rango: *Snickers*

Iggy: "... Yeah, sure!" *Sits down and starts playing games on his phone instead*

Topper: "..." (Did he listen because Rango's watching, or...?? Eh, who cares-)

Tiny: "Seems like your "BF" stopped watching."

Vivian: *Snickers*

Hariet: >:<

Roy: "... Stitches, do you want to step outside for a bit? You... Don't look so good..."

Spewart: "I wouldn't mind that..."

Topper: "... Oh shit."

Rango: "Ah crap." :(

Ludwig: "... So." *Sits down on a bench* "What happened with Rango? Was he maybe trying to tickle you...? Or, just, you couldn't make it to the restroom in time? I want to know so we can try to prevent this from happening again later..."

Lemmy:

Ludwig: "I know you're upset, but I need you to answer me... This is important."

Lemmy:

Ludwig: "Lemony Alexander Koopa!!!"

Lemmy:

Ludwig: "......"

Ludwig: "Put up three fingers if you... Like Motley. And put up five if you REALLY like her!"

Lemmy: "..." *Puts up five fingers*

Ludwig: *Giggles* "Wonderful!"

Jr: *Walks out* "Ooh, are we playing a game??"

Ludwig: "I... Wouldn't call it that, necessarily..." *Moves his own hands around*

Lemmy: "...... What does that mean?"

Ludwig: "It's sign language! And it means let's go home now."

Topper: "Y'know- I'm with ya on that. SCA has QUITE the reputation when it comes to sports! I don't think DLHS has beat them in ANYTHING in over sixty years! You stood no chance!"

Hariet: "What-?... NO! I meant my good luck charm wasn't there! THAT'S why we failed!!!"

Rango: "... Wha-"

Hariet: "But it's fine. Tonight was a fluke! I'll have luck at my NEXT game and we'll win and everything will go back to how it should be!"

Rango: "...... I suppose that's a good attitude to have about it...? You'll get 'em next time!!" :D

Hariet: "Ya know. The girl~?"

Spewart: "... Oh." *Smiles a bit* "A friend."

Hariet: *Giggles* "I'm glad you're making friends. It's been quite a while~..."

Spewart: "What-?... Eh nevermind. We're home!"

Roy: *Cough* "Hariet, listen." *Wheeze* "I am VERY sick right now, and am in NO position to be going to a public event." *Sniffle* "Nor am I in the position to listen to you nag at me for half an hour- *Sneezes* I am TRYING to SLEEP!!!"

Hariet: >:( "...... Sorry, sweetie-pie! I hope you feel better! It would just, make me REALLY happy for you to come to my next game..." :< "But I didn't mean to bother you. I sowwy."

Roy: "............" *Cough* "It's fine..." *Sighs*

Hariet: "OH YEAH- Next time you see Spewart, be sure to congratulate him!!!"

Roy: "Why-?" *Sniffle*

Hariet: "He got a girlfrieeeeeeend~! Hehehe, I'm so happy for him! Welp, sleep soundly, babe!!"

Roy: "WHAT-??"

Hariet: *Hangs up*