FORMERLY GIRLSAREWOLVES. she/they. horror/genre nerd. late thirties. WARNING: I like problematic things including squicky, toxic, unhealthy ships. if that bothers you feel free to block me. I try to always tag. If you want me to add cw/tw tags to anything, feel free to ask! :)
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"Don't you know this tale, in which all I ever wanted
I'll never have?
For who could ever learn to love a beast?
However cold the wind and rain
I'll be there to ease up your pain
However cruel the mirrors of sin
Remember, beauty is found within
Forever shall the wolf in me... desire the sheep... in you"
Nightwish - Beauty and the beast
--
i reworked an old artwork of mine to fit my current style/needs/vibes, what do you think of this version of beauty and the beast?
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Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.
Odysseus: Regret it why?
Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.
Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in.
*A couple of months later*
Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit.
Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure.
begging people to start paying attention to prison organizing and listening directly to incarcerated activists who are talking about these things instead of just basing your knowledge of the US prison system off of true crime podcasts or brooklyn 99 or whatever.
Marshall Project, Prison Journalism Project, and Scalawag Magazine all have a lot of really good coverage of US prison news and share a lot of writing from incarcerated journalists. Prison Radio has a bunch of important commentaries from incarcerated journalists.
there are a ton of books to prisoners programs and inside/outside organizing collectives and just so much out there if you look for it.
I hate when a tiny stupid thing pushes you over the edge and makes you freak the fuck out because it makes you look like a completely irrational tar pit of a human being. Like no I promise this is warranted just maybe not about that specifically I swear I'm well adjusted. Come closer stick your fingers in my cage
not a girl, ashe vernon / strangers by ethel cain / season 1, hemlock grove (dir. eli roth) / vampire, wikipedia / pinterest / tumblr / season 1, hemlock grove (dir. eli roth) cred. @/godfreysteel / hard times by ethel cain
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everyone says you can always restart. that your future isn't forgotten, just sort of misplaced. they name actors and singers and authors who started at 46, 59. they cite chappell roan's 10 years. they tell you to push and push, that some day you'll open a door and the truth will be behind it.
but what if you aren't a celebrity in sheep's clothing. what if you're just a normal person. most people aren't exceptionally talented or else talent wouldn't be exceptional - right? what if you're just another median person; not ever startlingly bad nor terrifyingly good.
you put the shopping carts back and you walk your dog and you write poems on the internet. you have grown a plant or two; killed a few others. you did okay, overall, and you've been okay most of your life. not valedictorian, but you were a smart kid. you had some hard knocks, but you got up again. your life is just - average. you probably will never sing onstage at coachella. most of the time you are at peace with that - someone needs to drive the speed limit. life isn't about extraordinary circumstances, it's just about building a life you love and figuring out how to live in it.
but you would like to feel as if you'd found "the answer." everyone else seems to have some kind of talent they are born nesting in - and meanwhile you just exist. is that why you cycle through crafts and hobbies and activities like a roulette wheel? are you waiting for the moment where it turns out - all this time, you've been a visionary. a genius. all this time, you were special. even you: someone who has-never-been.
crawling up your throat: something bitter and savage. not quite a feeling of wasted potential. after all, you need to first have potential in order to waste it.
not for nothing, but i'm just some butch on the internet, and i founded my company 3 months before I turned 40. I turned 48 just about 3 weeks ago. both of my parents - a college professor and a freelance journalist - became the people that I think of them as being in their 40s. Before that, my dad worked a bunch of placeholder jobs, my mom stayed at home with us and went to college at night when he got home. I worked at a bunch of banks, wearing suits I hated and sometimes I threw up in the morning because the stress of trying to pretend to be someone I wasn't just overwhelmed me.
I'm not going to pretend I have all the answers, because I don't, but I will say that I kept trying to scrape my own skin off in my late 20s and my 30s because I felt like I wanted to climb out of my own ribcage, because I wasn't this person that I was trying so hard to be, and I felt like I was running out of time. Like my youth was all I had and it was going, going, gone.
And now I'm here, and I'm almost 50, and I'm still shitposting on Tumblr and will be until this site dies or I do, probably. And I put my carts back and I pick up my meds and drop off the shipments for orders and my back is fucked up because of the tumor they took out of my spine and I've gotten a lot older over the last five years all of a sudden, which felt very discouraging, really, because I was looking forward to feeling like my life belonged to me again once my daughter became an adult, but now I kind of feel older than I wanted to when that happened.
But.
I recognize myself when I look in the mirror. I sing You Might Like It very loudly on show mornings while I drink my coffee and unload boxes of queer jewelry from my van with my wives and sometimes my brother. I have a picture of myself wearing a denim vest with a patch on it that says DADDY on it in trans pride colors and nothing underneath it. At Rose City Comic Con last year, a woman selling me something looked up at me from under her eyelashes and said, "Thanks, Daddy," when she handed me back my credit card. I haven't said the words "checking account goal" or "escrow transfer" at work in at least eight years. I don't throw up in the morning anymore because of how much I hate who I'm trying to be.
Time is still running out, but I recognize the person I am now. And maybe that's enough. It is for me.
Hi, first off, your gifs are incredible! They are so stunning, I'm in awe. I was wondering if you would be willing to share your process (without going into your personal settings, as I know that is likely private and not usually to be shared). Thank you very much.
okay, so funny i got this message because i was genuinely about to start working on a post to release my gif action, so thank you anon because you can officially consider this:
LEXI'S BIG BAD GIF MAKING TUTORIAL:
**(at least the way she gifs)
disclaimer: i use a mac so some of my settings might differ but should be retroactively the same.
1.download the media you're looking for. i use t*rrents and various accounts that post downloads. if you want to know what i use specifically, come to me off anon and i'll share them with you for legal purposes lmao. for reference, i'm using the film companion (2025) and sophie thatcher as my subject for the gifs.
2.once the media has downloaded on my laptop, i start creating folders for what i need. i leave one for 'clips' which are, you guessed it, for clipping and 'sophie gifs' for storing the gifs in one spot.
3. from there, i will open the file with the media i downloaded and start my clipping process. personally, i clip little by little for the sake of my storage so i usually clip every ten minutes in one minute increments, finish the set of gifs, and then move onto the next ten minutes of the media until i'm finished.
4. quicktime player is pre-installed on my mac so i don't have to use any external features for this, and trim as needed.
5. once i've clipped everything, this is how my 'clips' folder usually looks. imagine there's usually more, but i only clipped a couple for tutorial sake!
6. now for the fun part, we can finally open photoshop!
7. i usually the videos frames to layers to make my gifs, so you'll go to file -> import -> video frames to layers
8. from here, i'll use those little cursor bits to pick out what i want to gif.
9. and now we're finally in. this is what my personal setup looks like. if you're working with a default version, you'll want to play around with what you like, but you will absolutely need to have your actions, layers, properties, and timeline checked. you can find these in the window tab if they are unchecked.
10. now i'm going to apply my action by clicking on 'lexi's big bad gif action' and hitting the play button.
11. when this pops up, just hit cancel.
12. now we're going to highlight all of our layers by using shift + select. then right click and 'convert to smart layers'. your layers should now be condensed.
13. now we're going to go back to our actions. see how the smart sharpen is highlighted now? play that and just hit okay through the sharpening.
14. ooh, pretty! i apply my base coloring psd which looks wonky as hell because it isn't colored for this specific clip.
15. i'll open up that coloring folder and get to work. here are the specific colors i used, but all of this is going to be based on what you are coloring in specific.
16. now we're just going to crop and resize to our liking. i prefer my gifs to be 268x151 for gif packs!
17. look at that, you have a gif! from here, we'll save from web and i'll show you the way i have my settings for exporting. you can save from web by going to file -> export -> save for web.
18. it'll automatically throw you into a filter that says optimized, which i switch back to original.
19. now i'm just gonna save this to my 'sophie gifs' folder.
once you export, you'll have a little guy like this:
that's my entire process from start to finish. i've also compiled my action + base coloring in the source link! i truly do not believe that gifmaking or making gif packs should be gatekept, so if you need any help at all, please reach out to me and i'd love to hold you hand along the way!
Doing it scared and doing it badly is one thing, but no one seems to talk about doing it alone. When you feel so isolated from your friends and your family but you have shit to do and you have to get it done no matter what. When your support system really is only you. For any myriad of reasons. We do not talk enough about doing it alone.
even if your nervous system is shot to hell and you're a reactive dog on a chain all the time you can spend several years retraining your nervous system (with the help of friends to practice Disagreeing With) and one day you can reach a point where getting Disagreed With doesn't cause your whole entire bodybrain situation to implode messily. it's super great. I recommend it
this is why I think it is so crucial to be able to Practice Disagreeing about relatively trivial subjects with safe and trusted friends and loved ones where you both know that's what you're doing and you are both actively and continually affirming that you love each other the whole time it's like training wheels. I truly cannot recommend finding friends to Practice Disagreeing with enough.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Every unhinged fic writer needs an equally unhinged friend who "yes ands" their ideas and encourages them to write all their most far fetched and insane stories.
I was going to rewatch 1931 Dracula again tonight and just as I turned it on a BAT started flying around at my window and wouldn’t go away and I’ve never seen a bat at my house before and let me tell you I’ve been so gay touched starved this quarantine I was about ready to risk letting a wild bat in my room if it meant it could possibly be one tall, Sexy vampire
titsay
germansingergirl
romaincrisis
snowghoul
turnnoffyourmind
gamechangershow
