you agreed with it when i told you what color is "one" when my mind assigns numbers to them. your fondness confused me because the only tone of it i knew was smudged ink on paper with a list of lesions that lingered; so i tried my best to pay closer attention. yesterday at clear noon, i watered my sapphire hydrangeas, stirred iced chocolate in my cobalt cup, and sat on my slate couch writing to the shade that feels like home now, "is it blue there too?".

each phase following our first old moon in the gray unveiled versions of you to me. every ripple resurged into one wave of a warm sleepless summer with you. engulfed in blurry salt mist, i tried chasing after you; but after the eclipse under starry skies, i saw that i never had to because your footprints were beside mine the entire time.

vows of translating you and me into us, whispered at dawn while a storm rages outside define what we share. vines tapping on the window decode seconds of silence in between our breaths. vintage mirrors condense in the quiet as we carefully hold sanctuary for each other.

out of everything i admire about you, my favorite is how silly you are. only you can make me laugh at the corniest jokes i've ever heard and you're the only one with the clumsiest antics i adore. often, i shake my head at your absurdity but you should know that your whimsy swayed my pulse.

let me be tangled up in sheets of what's ours at this moment. later, we'll have coffee while we laugh at each other's lores. little bits about you and me will eventually seep into one another like sunshine on our sleeping cats this morning.

i had the favor of the universe introducing you to me a few nights before new year's. it took several sunrises before i noticed notions of wanting to let you in. is it alright if i dream about you on rainy afternoons now?

you were so gentle with me i didn't let the ceiling carry my weight

when it bleeds, i sit on the floor. i dread leaving stains on the blanket you offered. your bed should never know this mess.

i really don't know what's wrong with me but knowing won't make a difference anyway

i dropped pieces of myself in rooms i no longer enter since i threw away the keys. i see shadows in the spaces where the people who used to call me home once stood. i've been scraping away their names that they carved all over my walls. i've been picking up shards that they left from everything they shattered. after this, i will no longer hear the echoes of myself begging for kindness in this mausoleum. someday, this will no longer be a grave of every hand i've ever held.

sucks when nothing's wrong but it feels like you're just hardwired to not be okay

i've been laughing so hard at this one tiktok video like literally crying but idk who to send it to bc it's in waray

bro i want malunggay pandesal with cheese