TheHoneyBeast

Your feet carried you over the hard concrete of which the bridge was made, the walk seemingly endless as the face you dreaded the most slowly gained details the closer you got. Jinx stood not far away to his right, her blue hair softly swaying in the wind that the river created with its flow, though the nauseating sting of the water had almost entirely vanished, a welcoming reminder of your doings. It fuelled your confidence, a nice contrast to the draining the path over to the other side did to you. Maybe, just maybe you would get close enough to talk, even if it would mostly be a one sided conversation. You longed to see his face again, to marvel at his beauty, even if it could very well be the last thing you would ever see. You didn't fear death. The thought of all the eyes currently on you was a little deflating, pressure growing under your skin. You didn't care for what the topsiders thought of you. All that you wanted was to see the man who had created this mess inside of you, the men responsible for your rediscovery of your powers, for the journey you had started by his side. Even if he still hated you.

You could see him clearer now, the shape of his coat becoming more recognisable, as well as the expression on his face. And the gun in his hand. Part of you wanted to halt at the sight of the metal used to kill, but you were done with running, done with hiding away. Even if you wouldn't get a chance to say a word, you wanted to die trying. Your heart yearned for him, the coldness you finally made out on his scarred face did nothing to lessen it. His black eyeball was the first thing to really come into focus and despite it being stiff and mostly without expression, you were still able to see hatred inside it. It tore into your chest with a force stronger than expected. The hand holding his gun flexed and now you were hardly a hundred feet away from the men you loved with all your heart and soul. Your steps became more frantic, your desire to be near him again pulling you faster, though you managed to keep it under control. Seventy feet. Fifty. His eyes unwavering, those of his daughter switching from him to you and back to him again. Right before you could enter his arms reach, he lifted his hand, face still empty of emotion, gun pointing right at your face and finally, you came to a stop. You hadn't noticed how heavily you werw breathing, you eyes barely taking notice of the weapon ready to end your life as you felt yourself pulled into the depth of his irises. Neither had you noticed the tears forming in yiur eyes, until they rollxed down your cheeks, a definitely pathetic looking smile on your face as your lips quivered in excitement as the scent of his cologne filled your nose. It was really him, in all his ridiculous glory, overhelming your senses. Silco.

He obviously didn't share your sentiment, the barrel facing you a subtle indicator. "Hello, Silco."

Your words were soft and sincere as you kept your eyes on his, desperate to get a reaction. "I- I did as I promised. I'm sorry about what happened and I... I understand that you must hate me." You stopped yiur rambling, your eyes flickering from him to the blue in the corner of your vision, giving Jinx a weak, apologetic smile. She looked uncertain, as if debating whether or not to dispise you. "I had to leave. I had to, in order to stay sane. To be able to live with myself." Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, a prove of your emotions. The gun steady in his hands, while the fury in his expression got sharper. His bad eye tore into your soul, his mouth an angry snarl. Either he didn't believe you or he didn't care for your excuses. Probably the later. You looked into the black hole of the guns barrel, then back into his eyes. They were as intoxicating as they had always been to you. You couldn't stop yourself from speaking again. "I never stopped loving you, Silco." You said it with all the sincerity your heart had to offer, a deep feeling of hopelessness growing within you as his expression didn't change whatsoever. He really had to hate you. And it broke your heart. Maybe it would be the best for him if you just died amd you wouldn't have to live with the emptiness growing inside of you. With that, your hand reached for his gun and his knuckles turned white under the strength with which he held it. But you had no intention to disarm him. "I'm happy to have the memories of us." You continued, still smiling despite the fat tears now pouring over your face and the sobs building inside your throat. "I'm so glad that I got the chance to see who you are. I thought of it every night, imagined how things could've been, would we life in a different world..."

Your hand steadied the barrel of the gun, keeping it pointed at your forehead. The tears were silent as you smiled at Silco, acceptance and love in your eyes. His face was frozen in a mask of hatred, but you saw the fight behind his eyes, his slender fingers shaking ever so slightly. "It's okay." You ressured him. "Kill me if you want. I'm done with running." You kept eye contact, burned the image into your brain. Despite his obvious anger, he was breathtaking, his pale skin, his scarred face, his clothes, his hair, his eyes. His beautiful, unnatural eye pulsing, his human one oh so fragile, it seemed. You had dreamt of him so many nights, had buried yourself in memories and yet the real version of him was still so incomprehensible more lovely. Sighing, you leaned against the cold metal, your eyes drawing close as you gave your life into his hands. "Do as you please. I'm ready to die."

The movement that came, wasn't the noise of a pulled trigger, instead the heavy iron was brutally torn out of your grip and your eyes sprung open at the sound of it hitting the ground. His face was still contorted with anger, but there was something else mixed under and when he made an agressive step towards you, you saw that it was greed. One hand grabbed the back of your head, harshly bringing you in for a bruising kiss, the emotions very much spilling over your lips. His heat was overwhelming, as was his oh so delicious scent and your tears fell faster under the confused happiness he put you under, a desperate whine pressing past your lips. "You're mine. Never forget that ever again." His voice was deep as he breathed against your mouth and you wanted to answer, wanted to feel him against you once more, scared that this was only a dream, maybe a taste of afterlife, but when you opened your mouth to reply, his second hand swiftly moved to your exposed neck, a sharp sting tearing through your train of thoughts. You tried instinctively to back away, but he held you with an iron grip as he emptied the content of the syringe into your system. The effect was immediate, your vision blurred and your legs gave in, stumbling into the arms of your aggressor.

He caught you easily, expected your condition. He held you aginst his chest as your surroundings got darker with every heartbeat that sounded against your ear and when you tried to speak once more, only weak mewls and noises made it past your lips. "Shhh. Be quiet, dear. Let go." He spoke into the top of your head, his voice eerily gentle, his hands holding you tightly against him. "Time to return home." Then everything went black and your body grew limp in his arms.

The first thing your foggy mind took note of, was the soft surface you were rested on. It felt weirdly familiar, a weight upon your body, keeping you warm. You pried your eyes open with some effort, forms and colours invading your vision as you waited for your body to slowly come back to its senses. A movement in the corner of your eye had you panicking, a sudden fear emerging inside you as memories flooded back. You had been put out of consciousness by a certain someone. Heat travelled into your face as the realisation hit you. He hadn't killed you. You had been abducted instead. Trying to force your eyes to see better, you squinted at the blurr as a weight settled next to your hip. "Welcome back, darling." That voice. A shiver ran down your spine as you heard Silco say the nickname and slowly his form gained clarity. His face was stoic as always, his unlikely eyes looking right back at you, the distance between the two of you non existent. You were torn between hoping this was realty and praying that it was not. You opened your mouth to speak but no words came out. A slender hand reached for your face and you tried to shy away but your body wouldn't listen to your command so you could only watch his face as fingers caressed your cheek, warmth radiating from his skin.

"Still as beautiful as ever. I guess that's what distracted me from seeing what was really going on." His smooth voice got lower, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly. You saw pain in his eyes and it made your eyes water. "I never meant to hurt you.." he took his hand off you, scoffing as he stood and turned his back to you. He walked over to the other side of the bed, towards the window. You wanted to follow, managed to rise just enough to see his feet, before you were violently stopped. Irritated, you looked down to your wrist. You were cuffed to the bed. An unsettling sight, even more so because of the location. "Silco-" "It doesn't matter. You are not going to have that much freedom again." Your heart stopped. What? Had you heard that right?! "Silco-" but he interrupted you again, this time after harshly spinning back to face you, real, hard anger in his features. "You don't have a say in this! You proofed you aren't worthy of my trust." His words were spoken with the intent to hurt and oh, they did. You tried to swallow that sting, it was as justified as it was not. Instead you opted for changing the subject. "What.. what happened at the bridge after-?" "I will decide on what information you deserve." He told you blankly and you started to feel sick. He intended to keep you. He intended to lock you up, keep you from the outside world.

"Why.. Why are you doing this?" it was merely a whisper but a humourless laugh told you that he heard it well enough. "I just told you-" "No- I mean, why didn't you..you know..?" You tried to keep yourself together, to prevent yourself from breaking down in front of him. "Why didn't I kill you?" His tone shifted. His anger was replaced by something close to annoyance, as if your confusion was due to your lack of understanding. "That was my intention before you decided to save my daughter's life. You can see it as a reward or a punishment, depending on how well you plan on behaving." For the first time since you met him, you found more piece in the black depth of his left eye, at least it was devoid of whatever sick pleasure you found staring at you in his right one. You stomach turned upside down at the sly grin stretching over his scarred lips. "Looks like you understand." His hand reached for you once more. "I guess I should thank your idiocy for disarming yourself. It made things easier to deal with." His fingers curled around your chin but this time you had enough strength to slap it away, though it only resulted in him moving over you entirely, his knees on your sides.

One arm restrained your free one, the other forcefully grabbed your jaw. "You're not in control anymore, honey." He spit the words into your face and it made your heart clench as you realised the extent to which he had lost his believe in you. "I was never in control of anything.." you weakly replied, again searching for anything familiar within his face other than poisonous anger. You turned your hand inside his to change the position in order to return his gesture, genlty wrapping your fingers around his. A weak attempt at showing that you didn't want to fight him. "All I ever wanted was peace.." you looked in his eyes, your own tearing up once more as you felt so torn between your love and fear for him. Silco only scoffed, his grip growing harsher. "You're a fool if you think there is place for something like that in a city like this." You smiled painfully, your lip starting to quiver. "I thought I could find it if I left you.." Fingers started to unconsciously stroke his as you spoke. "That you were the one keeping it from me. That I would find it out there. Maybe create it on my own .." a tear slipped over your cheek and you watched his eyes follow it down to your collar before flicking back up."But all it did was create war inside myself. I don't know what to do.." Your voice broke as your wavering smile grew under your pain, your throat closing up painfully. The weight of the truth felt crushing in your chest as you realised that you were grieving the connection you had so mindlessly destroyed, the only thing in your life that had felt welcoming, had given you a sense of home. "I couldn't forget you. I didn't want to. You were the closest I have ever been to happiness and I threw it away.." A sorrowful laugh left your lips as you saw him staring you down in disbelief. Though it was subtle, you knew him well enough to read it from his slightly pinched brows.

"I meant everything I said at the bridge. I will never forgive myself for hurting you the way I did and you have every right to take my life-" His lips shut you up, a hunger inside the action different to before. Instead of bruising, the kiss was intimate and demanding, Silcos hand on yours squeezing. When he broke away, his forehead rested against yours. "You infected my mind with your beauty and I can't do anything to get rid of it. I wanted you dead but the thought alone had me sick." His voice was softer now, almost fragile. His hand still held onto your jaw and you couldn't help but lean into it. "I loved you, I really did." You heart clenched down at his words, indicating that you still wanted it to be true. "I wanted to give the world to you, to have you by my side, to have you trembling underneath me until you would be crying from bliss." His breath was hot against your lips, as he pressed another short peck against them. "But instead, you ruined me.." Sadness flashed in his eyes and you couldn't help but let out a choking sob at the sight. "I wanted to be free- I wanted to feel like I could change something, be more than the scared child I always felt like-" You had to take an unsteady breath before you would suffocate on your words. You were pleading, begging him to understand. "I didn't want to hide behind you, I wanted to do what my parents never could- I wanted to give them hope!" The last words sounded like they were spoken by a desperate child and you were embarrassed by your slip of tone. You were full on sobbing at this point, barely able to make out his face through the tears gathered in your eyes. His hands on you got softer, as if he was melting over you.

Caring fingers wiped the stream of tears off your cheek, a soft hushing left his lips right next to your head. You felt broken, bruised and sick. You didn't deserve this. You had been so foolish. Still, he kept you close, his lips pressed against your temple. "You are only hurting yourself, darling. I will keep you away from all of that. You will stay with me. You have no other place to go." Despite his softness, his words still stung. He wasn't giving you a choice. He had made up his mind about you and all you could do now was to follow along. And would that be so bad? With tears still streaming down your cheeks, you moved your forehead against his, before shyly reaching for his lips with yours. He responded immediately, capturing you in a desperate kiss, his scarred lips harshly pressing against yours. Only when you whimpered against him, he let air in between you, allowing you to gasp.

"I missed you." Silco heaved, his breath ghosting over your face. "I missed you, too." The words left your mouth without thought, your heart still screaming out for more. "And I..." you closed your eyes for the next admission, scared of what his reaction would be. "I love you, Silco." A forceful grip on your chin had you reluctantly open your eyes. Anger and disappointment met you in his bicoloured ones. "If you did, you wouldn't have left me." You wanted to disagree but his eyes were disarming you of any reply. "It's true, none the less." You muttered instead and something in his eyes changed as he listened carefully to your words, taking in the expression in your face. "Then don't fight me on this." And you didn't. He let go of your face, sitting back up. Silcos expression now spoke of adoration as he brushed some strings of hair behind your ear, before he removed himself from the bed entirely, heading for the door. You wamted to call out to him, to ask him to stay but he beat you to it, stopping in the doorway. "I will be back soon. There are still some things needing my attention." He moved to close the door but you had to open your mouth one last time. "I'm sorry." It was a croaked apology but you needed him to believe you. When he looked back at you one last time, you saw something akin to pity in his eyes. "I know, dear. And I'll make sure it stays that way." Then the door fell shut and you were left alone in a room you had thought to never see again.

It felt like hours went by as you layed there, your mind an incoherent mess of thoughts. What was he doing right now? What happened at the bridge? Ha dhe noticed what you had done to Zaun? There was no way he wouldn't, right? Was Jinx okay? Your head started hurting violently and you decided that, while you wouldn't run from him again, neither would you be treated like a pet. With what little willpower you could muster, you took a deep breath and just when you felt the familiar, though significantly smaller energy spike in your fingertips, your chest started to burn with such pain, that you couldn't help the pained yelp leaving your lips, before curling into yourself until your knees were pressed under your chin, and your free arm curling around it. It felt like you had set yourself on fire with invisible flames and over your own heartbeat you didn't hear the door fly open and only realised you had company when a hand caught your shoulder and turned you around. Worry was written over Silcos face as he held your in his hands, scanning you hastily for any injuries. "Y/N? Darling, are you alright? What happened?!" He tried to keep his voice low but you felt the desperation behind his words. In your need for comfort you threw caution in the wind, throwing your arms (as far as the cuffed one could muster) around his neck and pulled him against you.

"I don't want to be alone anymore..Please..please stay.." you sobbed into his shoulder and after a moment of tension, you felt his muscles loosen and give in. "What happened..?" he repeated quieter and you had too swallow down the lump in your throat bedore cautiously replying. "I tried to use magic... it burns.." Immediately he stiffened again, separating from you harshly. Again, you found anger and betrayal in his eyes. "So you wanted to run again? What a surprise!" he hissed and your already bruised heart felt raw and fragile under his accusations. "You really think you can manipulate me so easily, hm darling?" He was back to his calculating self and now you felt your own desperation turn to anger. "Are you listening to yourself?!" You nearly screeched, moving back against the headboard of the bed. "I never manipulated you! I always told you what I wanted to do! I never lied, I never asked you to do anything for me!" You saw him waver, though it was subtle as his face expressed irritation and fury. "I missed you, you moron! Why do you think did I approach you at the bridge at all? I expected you to kill me but I wanted to see you one last time!" Silco scoffed, shaking his head in denial. "You approached me because you thought you could make me give up-" "Do you really think that?! Yes, I wanted to prevent a war from destroying what little peace was left but the second I saw you I forgot all about that! Or did I mention anything about Piltover?! No! Because you fucking bastard are all I could think about! The only person I keep on manipulating is myself! Because I actually wanted to believe that you could somehow, through a miracle, or maybe even love-" You had to pause in order to take a deep breath and when you continued your voice was as fragile as your heart. "that you could forgive me.." Now it was you shaking your head in disbelief. "I see now how foolish of me that was. You will never believe me again. Never even consider that I might actually be telling the truth. And I can't even blame you, really." Sighing, you leaned back, exhausted from the emotions running through you. "I destroyed your trust. I hurt both you and me in the process." His sigh was harsher than yours and you felt the mattress shift when he sat down. "I won't make that mistake again. That much I can promise you. I won't leave without telling you. I will do everything I can to rebuild that trust. If you let me." He looked tired, when you opened your eyes again. Just as exhausted as you. "I don't want to be kept like an animal, but if you need this to calm your fears, I will accept it." Carefully, you reached for his hand. He didn't shy away. His unlikely eyes looked down to where you fingers were intertwining once again and you could feel his walls get thinner. Maybe there was still hope.

Silco wanted to hate you, he really did. Part of him wished that he had Sevika kill you at the bridge. His problem would've been solved without any repercussions. But he couldn't do it. And now, that he felt your genlte movements against his skin, he was glad he didn't. As much as he was angry and hurt, he still felt his heart quicken when he heard you confess your love, your attachment, the fact that you had missed him. He didn't want to but he felt himself craving what had once been. With you. You looked so broken now. He had told himself that you were lying, saying the words he wanted to hear but there was no way you could intentionally make your eyes look so desperate, so hurt. He tried to focus on your skin touching his. He shouldn't enjoy it as much as he did. He saw you smile out of the corner of his eyes. It was sad and uncertain but it didn't lessen the effect it had on him. He leaned towards you, until he could feel your breath on his face. "Kiss me like you mean it."

The order was surprising and the jump of your heart a little embarrassing but you ignored your pride and followed. This kiss was soft and the feeling of his rough skin against yours a welcome distraction. You gave all of you into it, choosing a mixture between desire and worship and his pleased humming suggested that he approved of your method. You carefully leaned against him, pushing your chest against his and while on hand was busy holding you up the other genlty soothed over his jaw. Your eyes were closed to put all your concentration to where your lips met, so you didn't see what he was doing. His hand against yours had you smiling into the kiss, until you suddenly felt them shift to your wrist. Your eyes sprung open as you realised that he removed your cuffs but as soon as you made a noise of surprise, he met your gaze and gave you room to breath, never loosing eye contact in the process. His eyes ordered you to stay put, to keep quiet. You felt your cheeks redden under the intensity of his stare, an old familiar feeling building in your belly.

Once your wrist was free, you immediately withdrew it from his, only to hold his sharp face in your hands, pressing kisses to his scar. He didn't let you finish your sloppy treatment as he growled under his breath and pushed you onto your back, his hands now catching bith of your wrists while one of his knees pressed between your legs, a firey look in his eyes. "I don't need cuffs to tie you down, dear." His voice dripped with venom as there was an obvious threat in his words but you couldn't help the grin from spreading across your face. "I never doubted that." you replied cheekily, watching closely to see his reaction but he seemed content with your behaviour. "You will stay in my room for as long as I tell you. If you need something, you knock on my office door. I decide whether you get to leave or not. You do nothing without my knowledge. Understood?" For the last word he moved in on you, his lips brushing against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. "Understood." you whispered yiur answer, biting your lip as you decided to test the waters further. "May I show you my gratitude now?" The hunger in his eyes left you speechless and he used this to his advantage and nudged his knee down firmer before catching your lips in a passionate kiss. "I'd rather show you what you missed." Oh boy. This would be exciting.

It was now or never. You knew that you couldn't think too much about this, or your nerves would get the better of you. Pulling the hood deeper into your face, you took one last deep breath, before letting the electricity of your magic travel through your body. It was the first time you would use this spell in field, so you wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, uncertain as for how long it would actually last. You felt the tingle of the spell surround you, a thin skin of magic covering your being. You peeked around the corner of the building you had been hiding behind in order to approach unseen. The sight was as expected, enforcers guarding the middle of the bridge, barriers shielding the road. Lucky for you, there was enough space for you to slip past without getting into contact with anyone, if you only hurried and kept quiet while doing so. Trying hard not to shake, you took first steps towards the group of people. Nobody reacted. So you continued, your heartbeat increasing the closer you got. When you reached the first part of the barrier, you stopped for a moment. Choosing the best spot to slip past, you heaved yourself in between the hurdles, nearly crashing into one of the unmasked enforcers passing by. You caught the gasp of surprise before it could leave your mouth, forcing yourself to stay as calm as possible. Once you were used to being invisible, it got easier to move along, following the patrolling enforcers, blending in with their movements and quickly making it to the other end of the bridge.

Only when you heard one of them speak, you came to an abrupt halt again. "This will be the first time I actually enter the undercity. Sad that it will probably be the last one, as well." That caught your attention. The one he was talking to, turned slightly and answered with disgust in his voice. "Believe me, you're not missing anything. It's filled with human scum down there." Your eyes narrowed at this comment and when the other snickered, a shiver of fear ran down your spine. "Well, not after tomorrow, it won't!" What? What was he implying? His partner gripped their shoulder, the next words an angry whisper. "Shut up! We're not supposed to talk about this!" Your throat tightened. A third enforcer approached the pair and that brought you back to reality, quickly avoiding their path, sneaking down the rest of the way until you finally reached the end of the bridge, leaving the enforcers and the sting of toxic water behind you. Only when you reached an alleyway out of sight of the road did you come to a stop, leaning against one of the white brickwalls behind you, calming down from the rush of adrenaline. The words stuck in your head. What was going to happen tomorrow? Actually, it was quite easy to guess. Zaun was still expecting repay for the attack on the council. It had made sense for them to wait, think things through, maybe prepare certain kind of weapons. The thought alone had your heart racing again and you sank down against the ground, trying to steady yourself. It was late evening and the darkness provided you with a sense of safety. If they did plan to attack Zaun, your home, with Hex-tech weaponry, there was no way to predict the outcome of that. They could very well destroy everything you knew. And a certain someone that you couldn't keep out of your head. You had chosen a great day for this trip.

---

Sevika looked at her boss with determination as she explained to him the way she planned to await the enforcers in the streets. She knew about the very real threat that was coming, not really expecting to make it out alive, but wanted to at least take as many of these bastards with her as possible. "And how do think to proceed from there on out? Fight until you die?" His voice was cold and unfazed, his eyes still lingering on the list of artillery they had in store. He had gathered everything in reach, even going as dar as to ask his underbosses for what they could afford to give. "If necessary." She answered just as coldly and Silco sighed. He had heard similar before and the idea of just waisting the life of his right hand to a couple of enforcers seemed very unappealing. "I would prefer to have you by my side. We fought together through this all, you deserve to face the final battle at the frontline." To anyone else, it would've sounded like a suicide pact, but Sevika knew that his wish came from a place of trust in her loyalty and it filled her with pride. "I will tell my henchmen to do it without me, then." Silco glanced up at her, nodded and waved her off with a motion of his hand. She understood, leaving him alone in his office. When the door fell shut, he sighed, leaning back and staring up at the roof. He couldn't help but think of you. Where would you be when the battle started? Would you run? Would you offer your services to Piltover to save your own life? He didn't think so. Which most likely would mean your death. So what if you died? He had to think about his daughter, his nation of Zaun. Even if this seemed hopeless, he had to fight the best he could. For her.

---

Again, you had made a decision. The decision to keep your promise. A promise you had nearly forgotten about. You had promised to get rid of the gem stones. To destroy them. It had taken you months for just one, but you hoped that the magic you had absorbed from it provided you with the power necessary to repeat the process faster, more effective and in a greater scheme. It was that, or dying with all the others in an attempt to be true to yourself. You made a promise to yourself now. That no matter the circumstances, you would never kill another living creature again, enforcer or not. The spell had worn off an hour ago and now you were searching for a hiding spot. Trying to find the entire stock of gem stones would be a headless chase which you wouldn't even know where to begin with and considering you only head a maximum of maybe 12 hours was to tight of a schedule. So instead, you would try something even more stupid, trying to catch them on their way into battle. Disarming them on their way to war. Brilliant.

They didn't see you. No one had witnessed you climbing the building, no one suspected a thing as you had used a hiding spell again as soon as you had reached your destination. From here you had a perfect overview to the street leading to the dreaded bridge connecting both cities. If they would head for Zaun, this was the way to go. And you would be ready to stop them. It was still very early morning and you had most likely a few hours to wait. So you took your time taking in the view of this part of Piltover. The contrast to the city you knew was even bigger than you had expected. While the undercity stank from trash and toxins that collected in every street, here was no sign if any of that. Even the alleyways were tidy and pretty, no sign of amy dirt whatsoever. It had you impressed but also angry, seeing how deeply privilege seemed to run in the veins of people up here. When the sun started to shine its first light through the clouds, you could watch as the citizens of Piltover came to life. People left their homes, headed to work or the markets from the looks of it. Everything was peaceful, no lurking shadows in any part of the streets, the only sign of onlookers were the group of enforcers travelling onto and off the bridge, patrolling, you assumed. It took quite a while for you to get used to the sight of enforcers kindly interacting with other human beings, something you didn't get to witness a whole lot, where you had lived. They acted so very humane that it was almost unsettling. Around twelve, things started to change. You saw people peeking out of their windows, avoiding the main road. The enforcers stopped coming altogether, most likely due to the approaching time of attack. It had you nervously shifting in yiur place, the reality of what you were trying to stop finally settling in your haed. You were attempting to disarm an entire army. There were a thousand different ways this could go horribly wrong. However, if you were to turn around now just to watch your hometown get destroyed, you would never forgive yourself. So you stayed. You muscles tense and your senses alerted, keeping track of every movement down below.

When you caught the first glimpse of a moving mass in the end of the street, it was followed by a wave of electricity in the air. A kind of electricity you had come to know very well over the past year. Immediately, your brain was wide awake, fingers harshly gripping into the edge if the roofs low railing as you saw the forces approaching. Enforcers. Of course, you had expected that but the sheer amount of people marching in your direction was a sight you were not prepared for. Neither had you anticipated the power radiating of them, magic filling the air to the spot you were hiding in, the density increasing with every step they took. This was the moment of truth. A few more seconds and they would be right under you.

Standing up on both feet, you took a deep breath, inhaling the energy hanging in the air, preparing yourself for what was to come. This ad the potential to tear you to pieces if you didn't do it right. If a gunshot wouldn't kill you first. When you looked down again, you spotted something odd. At the frontline of the uniformed bodies of Enforcers, you spotted a man in a different attire. An almost knight like armor wearing, he carried a very heavy looking hammer in his hands. From you position you could only guess his expression, but you thought to make out anger in his relatively young looking face. However, you had no time to ponder about that right now. They were in position. And you were filled with a new determination to even out the odds for this battle. Raising your hands, the first thing you did was search for a connection. To get a sense of how many gems you were dealing with in the first place. In your mind you formed a map based on the energy cores you could make out, thw tingling sensation in your fingertips felt familiar and when you opened your eyes again, you realised that they were glowing. A victorious feeling built in your chest. You had successfully connected their energy to yours. Now to the difficult part. If you wanted to destroy them, they had to come closer. Which meant you would habe to raise the gems towards you and that would definitely catch the attention of their owners. Time was running, the mass of people already slipping closer to the edge of the reachable radius. Fear and excitement filled your brain and goosebumps arose on your skin as you collected your energy and carefully, like picking up a basket hanging on thin string, you started to pull. Immediately you realised the amount of weight that what hanging to you, nearly bringing you to your knees. Instead, you put one knee down intentionally, giving you more stability before pulling again. The strength was overwhelming. Your chest felt heavy, compressed by the tension building in your body but you refused to admit defeat. This was your only chance. Pictures of your parents flashed through your mind, gentle words and gestures until the vision faded from the loving eyes of your mother to the sharp features of the man you loved. We will change this world. Together.

A spark ignited in your chest and with one sudden movement, you raised your hands to the sky, standing back up while doing so. The pull was hard, the resistance massive. And still, you felt it loosen, the energy's sources stopping their motion forward and instead raising into the air. You heard gasps and angry voices but they faded into the background as your eyez caught sight of the outcome of your actions. Floating in the air in front of you were about a hundred weapons, the gem stone inbuilt in their system lifting them. You had no time to feel proud, you felt your energy slipping rapidly, you had to keep going. With one more determined pull, the gems broke out of their prisons, and now you were surrounded only by a circle of blue shining orbs, emitting an unfathomable amount of magic. Your muscles started to tremble underneath your skin, your strength reaching its limit. Now or never. With something akin to a battle cry, you tore at their surfaces, violently forcing your own magic through their skin. Then, with one loud crack that sounded like thunder roaring through the sky, they broke all at once. In your hurtful concentration, you nearly forgot to breath as you opened your system for them to enter their energy in order to keep the entire city from tearing apart in one big arcane explosion. It was too much. All if it. The strength you had spent to do it, the noise rumbling through your body, the energy filling your body like a men drowning would fill with water. Was it possible to drown in energy? You hoped not. And yet, your skin felt as if it was going to burst under the intensity and the battle cry turned to one of utter misery, your eyes filling with tears as even them were overtaken by the pulsing energy inside you. Your cover was gone, that much was certain. Not that you would've noticed. Your world had shrunken down into one small space filled with a blinding blueish light, erasing everything else from your mind. And then there was anger. A distant memory of the emotion rolling over you in waves. They made you do it. They were the reason for all of this. It would be so easy now, one lash out and they would be gone. Forever. No one would dare to try overrun Zaun ever again. It would be so easy. And yet, the colour blue saved you from loosing yourself in the pool of energy, the face of Jinx slipping into your mind and with her, her father. Not that he of all people would mind you wiping Piltover out of existence. But his face reminded you of who you were. And more importantly, who you refused to be. Under massive willpower, you forced your eyes to return to reality. The sight was not what you had expected. You were floating. A mist of blue radiating around you, circling you like prey. Under you there were covering people, fear and schock on their faces, no sign of aggression. They were terrified of you. The man in armor stared up at you, eyes wide with fascination, his anger replaced by endless curiosity. You felt their heartbeats, felt the places where their bodies connected to the ground and suddenly, you knew what to do.

With more of an instinctive reaction, you moved forward without ever touching the ground. The magic carried your body like it was water and you decided where the river flew. The people reacted with more fear as they saw you come to life, backing away, some fleeing the scene, but you ignored them. You had a feeling that the possibility of bursting from energy was still very real and you wanted to get rid of that pressure as soon as possible. You didn't know how mich time you had, how long you would be able to control the emotions that were still fighting for release in your chest. Your goal was the same river you had once started the experiment of taking the gems apart, and due to the fact that you were floating like an abstract version of a balloon, you reached it in no time, leaving the mortified people of Piltover behind you. You didn't notice the few Zaunions watching you with similar expressions all you could think of was to let go of the enormous power filling your system. In a way that wouldn't tear the ground apart or give someone else the opportunity to misuse the gift of your people. When you felt the ground underneath your feet, you nearly stumbled, an electric schock heading into the ground from the tip of your feet. Heaving, you crawled forward, desperate reaching for the toxic water flowing by. This was were you had started. This was the closest representation of magic you had found. Without any feeling of disgust, you entered the water. Immediately you felt the slight tingling sensation of the waters chemicals against your skin but it somehow made the pulsing inside you less painful. All you wanted was peace, all you craved was the merciless embrace of the river. And when you head was swallowed by the waves, you let go.

---

Silco had his people come together in front of his headquarter. Ut was a massive amount of people of all species, all sizes and ages. They knew he was their best option to survive this, to have a chance against the Enforcers. Maybe that idea would've changed, had they known what he knew. He was hoping for victory. He hoped for a prideful death. Dying while fighting what he had always been ready to fight. He would've preferred to present a better future for all of them, but if this was the outcome then so be it. He had only just made a step into the open, when the ring of blue had flashed through the streets a wave of electricity rolling over them like a wave before dissappearing again. Everyone started freaking out immediately after, calling questions imto the air, searching for answers in each other. Silco was the only one who recognised the kind of energy that had just made an appearance and as he rushed back inside, climbing two stairs at a time until he reached the roof, he felt a spark of hope come to life inside of him. He nearly crashed into the railing, catching the source of the unusual light in the distance and his eyes widened slightly as he realised the core of energy, a shine of blue, was located right at the edge of Piltover and with a racing heart, he felt you return into his thoughts.

---

Surprisingly, you didn't feel like you were drowning. The water around you felt like a different kind of air, despite it never entering your lungs. Instead, it swirled around you, almost as if trying to avoid touching your skin. Only then did you realise that it wasn't water at all. It was magic, exiting your body in silent motion, copying the waters antics, mixing into it. The sight was mesmerising, enveloping you whole. Cautiously, you reached a hand out to the liquid, feeling it graze your skin. To your surprise, the tingling was gone, as was its aweful smell. It was clear. Delight spread within your chest as you realised this was your doing. You wanted to dampen the energy in the water, instead you found it following an underlying wish of yours, bringing back the beautiful, deep blue clarity, freeing it from its pollution. Smiling like an idiot, you reached deeper, enjoying the freshness of water against your skin, repaying the favor and washing some bits of dirt off of you. You felt a sense of belonging, bringing tears to your eyes. Curiosity and motivation bloomed in your head as you wanted to increase your impact. Following yiur instincts yet again, this day they seemed to be in good shape, you guided the water-magic-mix to carry you from the bottom of the the river to higher grounds, until the surface broke and the not so clean air hit your face. You felt powerful and endless and your curiosity for what else you could do pushed you on. Feeling high on pride, you spread your hands into the air and suddenly,the energy pulsed from you into the air and into the ground, the water building a round crater around you, also following the pulse. You felt a large part of energy leaving and it was as much relieving as it was deflating. Finally, your feet settled on the ground for good, steady enough to carry your weight again. You were shaking a little with excitement, your mind a rush of adrenaline. The air felt just as clear now, lifting your spirits even higher. What else could you do? One glance at the empty, sad ground and you knew where the last part of your magic would go. With joyful energy, you ran through the streets, blending out amy weird looks or comments amd nobody dared to step in your way. Everyone could feel the power radiating off your form.

---

Silco had watched the blue light wander until it dissappeared somewhere in the lanes like it was swallowed by the earth, leaving no trace behind. Sevika had come to his side, stopping the questions from spilling out of her mouth as she saw the look in his eyes. "What was that?" His face was back to its unbothered facade but she knew her boss well enough to see that there was something lying beneath his intelligent eyes. "Her." His voice was a harsh whisper and she wasn't sure whether he was angry or desperate. His black eye seemed to waver at the thought of you, his scarred lips thin and stiff. She knew that he didn't want to talk about you, but this could be important. "Is she fighting for or against us?" His head snapped around to her and if she were anyone else, she would've been terrified by the fury in his eyes. After a short pause, he turned back before retreating from the railing. "It doesn't matter." He decided, his voice cold and with no room for arguments. "We will approach now. Get ready." And with that, he slipped back into the building, leaving Sevika with a bitter taste of uncertainty behind.

---

Rune after rune you left behind, a few hundred meters in between until you were satisfied with the looks of it as you came to a halt at the top of an old rusty building in the lanes. You felt the invisible net you had spun, reach around most of the area. The magic had fuelled your speed like nothing else before, therefore it had only taken you about half an hour to prepare. Now, you were ready to part with the last bits of your energy if only the result would be what you hoped for. Taking a moment to calm your nerves, your eyes wandered above the place you called home. Finally, you could help. One deep breath, fingers reaching out one last time. You remembered the first time you had spoken the spell. You thought of all the small plants you had fertilised, your biggest success had been achieved as a child. Now was time to improve upon that. This time, the magic left you gently, like rain washing over your body, it dripped out like sweat, each drop following the prepared path of magic string. Like a swarm of bees leaving its hive, they headed out into the city, fulfilling your desired destiny for them. And you felt it. The time the first drop made contact, you felt it rumble through your veins as life blossomed in the earth, spreading out in little roots. The next one hit the stem of a dead tree, bringing it back to life and making it grow. Everything started to breath around you, grass, trees, flowers, ranks amd roots, filling the underground and its top, tying loose earth back together, cleaning the poison out of unseen places and covering everything in life. In your bliss of feeling all of this unfold, with closed eyes still seeing the beauty you created, you entirely forgot to watch your limits. When you finally realised that your head was spinning, you already slipped, only with luck escaping a fall from the edge of the building. When you raised your gaze, however, you were breathtaken from the lively, vital green of the plants around you. Your breath hitched as tears streamed down your face, only to suddenly gasp for air as you saw the bridge. Or rather, the group of people approaching it. Oh no.. It didn't take much of a genius to know what was going on. Fir a moment you were frozen in place, the recent success already forgotten at the thought of them marching right into a war you had desperatly been trying to avoid. ..but had you? Didn't you just want to give your people a chance of winning? What would stop the topsiders from thinking it was just that, an attempt to weaken their strengths? And if they saw the mass of people approaching, they wouldn't run. No, you believed them to be too proud to admit defeat. With an energy you didn't think you had left, you stumbled down the old rusty staircase at the side of the building, heading straight for the bridge yourself. The half run, half walk was exhausting your last resorts but you blindly followed your instincts, carrying you through side streets and short cuts and onto the bridge. You were here first, arriving before your people and the only idea that came to mind now, was to try and talk to the topsiders. Part of you expected to be shot in your jog over there, but instead you were suprised to see that the people that spotted you hastily retreated, making space for you to walk. Trying to fit their image of the mighty magician you no longer felt like, you forced your speed to lessen until you reached the person you assumed to be in command. The young, black haired men was the one of the few not shying away at your sight, instead he approached you with a prideful stalk. Your heart was racing again but you tried to not let him see.

"Brave of you to come back." Were his first words and he sounded like he was hurt in his pride rather than scared or impressed, but you still saw that curiosity lingering in his eyes. "You don't seem like that big of threat anymore." Was your fast reply, trying to not sound too arrogant. You came here to make calm the fronts, not provoke him. "I would say, a battle wouldn't be smart to do now." You continued, trying to seem more confident than you felt. He watched you for a moment, visibly weighting his chances. "Are you threatening us?" You bit your lip. "That was not my intention, but it sounds like it, doesn't it? But no. I don't want a battle. I would prefer it if we all headed home. And maybe don't try to weaponise magic from now on, huh?" The last bit left you unintentionally bitter, causing your opponent to narrow his eyes. "What does a magician have to do in a city like ours?"

You looked at him with with annoyance, hoping to overplay your fear. You recognised him now, having seen his face in the Piltover books you read during your research for the gems origins. "Your name is Jayce, right? You are the reason I am here." Making a step forward, you kept eye contact, seeing his eyes widen at your words. "You more or less forced me to interwine. Using hex tech for your daily comfort? Fine, I can life with that. But using the gift of my people as weaponry, trying to overrun my home, filled with people suffering under your ignorance? That crossed a line." The words were sharp and angry and he made a step back at the anger in your eyes, before his started to mirror your emotion. "We didn't want to start a war! I had a deal with your leader, but he broke the contract and he attacked us! He killed good people! Do you think we will just accept that?!" To your shock, there were tears in his eyes and you realised that this was more personal than you had anticipated. You took a deep breath, running a hamd through your hair, throwing a cautious glance back at the bridge. No one to see yet. There was still time. Turning back around, you softened your gaze, letting your empathy take control now. A discussion wouldn't be of help. "Listen, I understand that you're upset-" "Upset?! Silco broke-" "LISTEN!" Now it was his turn to take an audible breath and you continued, gentle but insistent. "I'm sorry for what happened! But spilling more blood won't do any good! I could've used the energy of your gems to destroy all of you. But I didn't! Because I don't want anymore people to die." Your voice was soft now and you saw him ponder. "I want this to end. I know, it won't be as easy as I want it to, but please, please let it end for today. I took your upper hand away from you. You are going to loose if you push forward." You were pleading with him now and when you saw his shoulders slack, you allowed yourself to hope. "This will happen, we have gone to far for it not to." He took a glance around his people, sighing. "But not today." He agreed and to your surprise he held out his hand to you. Hesitating, you returned the gesture. "I hope we won't meet again." You forced a smile at that, nodding before turning and your stomach dropped the second you layed eyes on an enforcer, fearfully calling out to his commander as he ran towards you. "They're coming! They're armed!" Instantly, you turned back once more, shock and betrayal in the young scientists eyes. Before he could say a thing, you blurted out " I will talk to them! To him! I will try to change his mind!" While still talking, you already stumbled back onto the bridge. This could be your last chance. The thought of seeing him again however, had your mind racing and your heart skipping a beat.

While you should be thinking about how to convince Silco to stop, you instead found yourself wishing to apologise, to make him understand that you felt awful without him by your side. This might be your last chance to speak with him and despite your passion for your people, you couldn't help but feel your love for this man overpowering your desire to keep peace.

To say you were suprised when you awoke in a bed, was maybe an understatement. You had pretty much expected to be abandoned in the alleyway you had fallen unconscious in. Instead, you were faced with the bored expression on Ekkos face as he peeled an apple with a pocket knife, sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. "So you're finally awake, huh?" He asked, slipping a piece of red apple skin into his mouth, not once raising his gaze from the knife. It took you a moment to answer, your mind still fuzzy from sleep. "Looks like it.." you croaked and at that sound Ekko motioned to the side of the bed where a bottle of water stood and you gladly took it.

He gave you a moment before he spoke again. "You helped Jinx escape. Why?" You felt the anger hidden underneath his cold demeanour. The feeling of heaviness weighted on your heart and you swallowed at the sensation. "I like her. I care for her wellbeing, whatever she has done throughout her life." You watched Ekko closely, trying to decipher his thoughts as he kept a unbothered facade. Sighing, you leaned back against the headboard. "The first time I saw her, she was just a daughter worried about her father's condition. She acted out of love and desperation. I can't seem to see anything else in her than the hurt she carries with her. I would say that I'm sorry for helping her, but I'm absolutely not."

A slight twitch if Ekkos brows revealed to you that he was still upset and not happy about you doubling down. "If you just decide things like that on your own, how are supposed to trust in your support?!" The question was harsh but you were barely suprised. You had expected consequences the moment you had decided to free her and you weren't going to apologise for it. "I guess you don't." You answered instead, feeling the meaning of your words fill the air in the room. He was right. They couldn't entirely trust you with your willingness to attack them if they acted against your beliefs. A realisation slowly settled in your guts, a feeling of dread and hopelessness covering the last pieces of comfort you had found in this place. They weren't like you. In a sense, they were the opposite of Silco, still willing to take lifes if they decided it necessary.

But you had killed as well, hadn't you? The mangled corpses flashed up in your memory and you felt sick again. What had you become? Shaking your head, you slipped your feet to the ground. "I will leave. I should've done so the second I layed hands on that poor yordle." A scoff. "And where would you go?" Your heart clenched at the emptiness you found in the truth of his words. "It doesn't matter." You said instead, getting to your feet. "It is better for both sides, I believe." Despite the still somewhat lingering exhaustion, your legs carried you effortlessly. "I'm sorry." Another phrase you were getting tired of hearing, even if just from yourself. You moved towards the door as Ekko stood, blocking your way. "So that's it? You waste our time and resources, gather information about how we work and now you just think you can leave?" He tried to threaten you, you realised but you felt little to no fear of him. Maybe that was foolish, but you couldn't care less right about now.

"Yes. If you try to stop me, I won't hesitate to fight you again." Quieter you added, "even if I really don't want to." For a moment, he held your gaze, seemingly debating whether it was worth it or not, until he finally dropped his stare to the ground, stepping aside. "Thank you. For everything." You spared him a subtle smile, even if he didn't look at you, you hoped he had seen it. Than you slipped past him, down the hallway and into the open middle. You headed for the exit when a gentle, wise voice called your name, making you halt amd turn around to watch the professor close up to you. "Hello my child. Are you leaving?" He looked at you with warm curiosity, and you had a feeling he already knew what was happening. You threw a cautious glance over his shoulder (so on eyelevel, really) and nodded. His mustach twitched as he acknowledged your answer. "I.. assumeit's not a temporary leave?" He added, a little quieter. Again, you nodded, this time a forced smile on you lips. "It's for the best." You explained and he seemed to follow your thought without any additional explanation.

Of course he knew what had happened and he was smart enough to figure the rest out on his own. "Would you mind my company? I was going to head for a walk myself." You swallowed a remark about that seemingly being an excuse to talk to you, a part of you starting to enjoy the yordles company throughout what little time you had known each other. He was clever, a little big on lectures but you didn't mind. "Sure, I can entertain that idea for a while." He squinted his eyes in amusement and so the two of you left the beautiful safe space behind. The area around was mostly dead and abandoned due to the sickness that had settled in the ground after years of spreading chemicals from the local factories into the earth. It was a sad sight in a different way than the rest of the undercity, for it felt entirely drained of any life whatsoever. The first few minutes you walked in silence, a little impressed by the professors speed despite his size. He was obviously used to keeping up with human sized companions.

He was the ine to break the peace. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you aren't leaving to spill their secrets to someone else, right? So what is driving you away, my dear girl?" There was no accusation in his voice and it almost felt like he wasn't involved in this situation at all. It gave you a sense of peace. A bittersweet smile formed on your lips as you thought about telling the truth. Oh what the hell, what would he even be able to do with that information other than gossip.

"I lied to you." The silence beckoned you to continue. "Silco and I, we were.." sighing, you closed your eyes as if to shield yourself from Heimerdingers reaction. "We were more than just working with each other. We.. I fell in love with him." The rapid little footsteps stopped and you came to a halt as well, daring a glance down at the old men beside you. It was almost cute how shocked he looked, his mustach twisted downwards, eyes and mouth wide in expression. It only lastet a heartbeat before a look of empathy and sadness took over and you had to look away, fearing to see pity in his eyes. You felt tears asking for space in your eyes but you pushed them back down. "Jeah, I know.." you croaked, still avoiding his gaze. "I know it is stupid, but what can I do? This feelings are existent despite my disapproval of his actions. I can't find it in myself to hate him. Even less so to let someone hurt him. Even if I did just that by leaving." It was weird talking about it out loud, but in a good way. "I got to know Jinx a little, see how much he cares about her. He.. he already lost so much.." Now the tears did find a way into your vision and when you closed your eyes, they fell. Your heart was still aching and you started to think that it would stay this way for the rest of your life.

"Oh dear. I'm so very sorry." Your eyes snapped open, looking at him with confused sadness. He saw the question in your eyes and sighed. "Love is the strongest power in our lifes and therefore the most capable of causing us pain. I can't say I understand your feelings for a men like him, but I can imagine the hurt it causes you." He started walking again, his head lowered in thought and you silently travelled along. You had expected him to judge you, to try and talk you out of it but once again, you were pleasantly surprised and you heart felt a little less alone. "I don't know where to go anymore." You admitted, your voice still raw with vulnerability. "It seems that every decision I make is wrong. Everytime something good is offered to me, I push it away. Nothing feels right anymore." The professor looked up at you with gentle eyes. "I made a few bad decisions in my life as well, I see that now. Coming down here was different from anything I had done before, but it helped understand. Maybe you should try and do something similar. A change of perspective, perhaps?" You met his gaze, wonder in your head. Maybe he was right. But what would that mean?

"I can't go back to him, anyways. I'm pretty sure he wants me dead. Not that I can blame him.." "Oh no, my dear girl. You don't deserve to die for following your own path. You're the only one who decides what you want to do." His words were firm and they sounded more like the men used to an authoritarian role. They gave you hope. "Yeah, I guess you're right." Was your reply, you eyes drifting off to the horizon, where the harsh edges of Zaun reached for the sky. "Thank you, Heimerdinger." The small men smiled and wanted to say something else but you were faster, crouching down and pulling him into your chest in a heartfelt embrace. It was a funny feeling pushing such a hairy men against your frame, almost like hugging a teddy bear, only that those couldn't return the hug with a hearty chuckle.

You parted from the professor at the end of the dead space, where the first poor houses came into view. You bit him farewell and he wished you all the best for your journey, a hint of sadness in his eyes as he turned back to where you had come from. Without any goal in mind, you had subconsciously returned to your former place of residence, the sad remains of your house black from ashes. Sighing, you walked past them, your mind spinning around Heimerdingers words. A change of perspective? There was really only one place that could mean. You lead a heavy hand across your face, when a suprised gasp sounded from the left of you and you hecticly faced its origin. A mother had entered the alley behind you, frantically pushing her small child behind her back, staring at you in shock. "P-please, we- we don't want any trouble-" You blinked a few times, confused by her reaction. Did you look so scary? "It's okay, I'm not going to-" "Mommy, is that the witch?" The voice of the child was terrified and it caused you to step back in horror. They had seen you. This people had seen you. Seen what you did. Your throat closed up from horror at the realisation that your awfully well kept secret had been spilled by your own headless actions. News like this would spread like wildfire. Your head started throbbing as panic flooded your veins and without giving yourself any more time to think, you sprinted off into the streets, hoping to find a corner where you could collect your thoughts.

You only allowed yourself to breathe, when you had moved into the open end of an old sewer pipe. Rusty metal underneath your feet as you covered there, the hood of your coat drawn into your face. Your head buried into your hands, you tried desperately to try and make a reasonable decision about what to do now. You had left the only other place where you had been able to openly display your magic, where you didn't have to fear enforcers on your tail. Now there would be more of them down here, searching for you. Especially after the chaos you had created in that alleyway. They wouldn't do you the favor of forgetting about it. People down here now knew your face. Everyone could snitch you out to the enemy, you were no longer a nobody. Groaning, you massaged your temple. Where to go now?

The words of the professor echoed in your head. A new perspective. Maybe.. You froze. Had you lost your mind? You couldn't actually be thinking about.. moving upside, could you. Biting the inner side of your cheek, you started to think. You had basically burned every bridge you had had down here. People were scared of you. The eye of Zaun most likely wanted you dead. Enforcers were searching for a magician. In Piltover, chances were high that nobody would know your face. You wouldn't be able to find an apartment of something like that, but with your power, maybe you would be able to find a somewhat safe space to sleep. Where you could be you. Do what you thought was right. Maybe it was a stupid idea, but right now it was the only one you had. Desperate for a break from people and their opinion about you, you made plans for your next move.

Your plan was as simple as it was stupid. You knew a spell that made you invisible as long as you didn't budge into anything outside of the spell. You would sneak over the bridge, hope to be careful enough to not bump into anyone and make it to the other side. You were certain that you wouldn't survive another confrontation with enforcers, especially not if they were going to face you in an open area, definitely no roots to be found, no side streets to dissappear him. After all, it took only one bullet to end your life for good. But you were desperate. And desperation makes us open to risks. So while you were slowly moving through the streets, avoiding any person crossing your way, you felt nearly excited to have a new path to take. No matter how ridiculous it might actually be.

---

Silco stared down at the report in front of him. He had wisely positioned some of his people on the other side of the bridge, spying for him and keeping him up to date with what was happening in Piltover. Now, for the first time since he had taken control over Zaun, it seemed that he was going to be forced into action. The written paragraphs were pieces of a conversation someone had eavesdropped on and there was no denying that the context of this dialogue spoke about war. About the planned strike against him. He was Zaun, he represented its future and past and every action taken against its entirety was a direct aggression against him and his goals. He had been preparing for a battle for a long time now, but as he was faced with the unpleasantly short notice about it finally arriving, he found himself uncertain about their chances to win, no to just survive tge forces of Piltover. Sure, his daughter was a genius constructing weapons and his people were brutal and more than willing to do what was necessary, but they could only do so much against an army with Hex-tech weaponry. A corner of his brain spat of betrayal and a name he had been avoiding, but he pushed it aside. He had no room for you anymore. More pressing issues were at hand.

Only two days from now, the entire city would move into war.

---

Everyone knew that something was wrong. The way he acted, the way his temper was shorter than usual, the amount of cigars he went through in one day. But nobody dared to say a word, ask him about it. Silco was not a men to anger with foolish curiosity or spread of misinformation and still, rumors were slowly spreading throughout his men. Only Jinx, who had been adamant to see him once she caught word of his behaviour, was allowed to ask these questions and survive it, though even her he denied answers.

He didn't want to admit it. Didn't want to accept the fact that you leaving had torn into him, had broken something he had been sure was no longer existent. And yet here he was, fighting against his emotions two days after the letter had been set aflame, still not able to move past it, the desire for revenge steadily growing louder and more irrational by the minute. He had to concentrate. Piltover had officially responded to the attack, started sending out threats and enforcers and it was only a question of time, until they would send their mightiest weapons, turning the cities into a battlefield.

And yet, he caught himself staring off into spots where you had once filled the empty spaces, filling his office, his bed, his life with your warmth, leading him to believe that you could actually love him. He slept in his office more often than not, sometimes working until he passed out, everything to avoid the memories of your skin against his, of how he had allowed you to infiltrate his thoughts. You were poisonous and with every involuntary thought of you, he hated you more. You and himself.

Jinx had seen Silco in many states, knew of his antics and coping mechanisms and yet, she was utterly cluesless what had him so of rails. It took her a while to get him to properly talk to her at all, he seemed so obsessed with his work, more so than before. When she finally managed to make him look at her instead of the files in front of him, she was taken aback by the ruthless anger in his eyes. Anger that wasn't as deep as it seemed, even so he obviously wanted to pretend otherwise. No, she knew him and she saw something hiding underneath. And then, she remebered you, the way he had spoken about you and the fact that she hadn't seen or heard you and after some silent eye contact between the two of them, she dared to voice her wonder.

"Where is Y/N?" She caught the twitch of his eyebrow, the way his eyes darkened at the mention of your name. She cocked her head, frowning. "She's gone. She wasted my time, now she's back to where she belongs." He tried hard to keep his voice steady, unbothered. But Jinx knew him. He was everything but unbothered and suddenly the noises in her head made sense of what had happened. Oh no. You had hurt him. Anger rose into her head, noises getting louder and more intrusive. "We don't need her!" She suddenly exclaimed, leaning onto Silcos desk, meeting his eyes with the intensity of her pink ones. "We will show her, like all the others!"

The fury in her words an the intent of comfort in her action had Silco smile for the first time in days. They didn't need you. He nodded at Jinx- his daughter, his family- and felt a little more at ease. Even in her worst states, she would never betray him the way you had. And never would he give her up for anything in the world.

***

While Silco was busy to set motions for the war he had started, you began to feel at home inside the walls of the firelights hideout. The conversation between you, Ekko and Heimerdinger had been a complicated, an uncomfortable one, but afterwards they seemed to relax around you, though you could still always feel a pair of eyes on your back, most likely a comrade of Ekko, ordered to keep an eye on you and you couldn't blame him.

You had told them about your past. About your childhood and how you had become who you were. It was similar to what you had told Silco once and it had you painfully smiling at the memory. The way Heimerdinger had averted your gaze when you mentioned the crime committed against your family and you, had you wondering about the origin of the taken actions but you never questioned him about it, feeling that you would be overstepping if you asked for such information. He had been more collected, empathy and guilt had been very clear on his face, while Ekko had shown little emotion to your story. Everyone down here had similar stories to tell, the only difference was your forbidden power, a fact that seemed to linger in the forefront of people's minds when they thought about you.

Still, Heimerdinger had been forgiving, even arguing your case to Ekko after you had finished the last parts of your journey. Silco. Despite their seemingly good intentions for the undercity, you hadn't been able to tell them the extent of your relationship with the eye of Zaun, kept them in the belief that the two of you had simply been employer and employee, no additional strings attached. It felt wrong lying to them while also hoping to gain their trust, but the simple idea of trying to justify your feelings to the feared men had let you take the easy way out. You were sick of having to explain your actions and being questioned by everyone around you. In the end, you had told them that you were trying to find a way to use your magic more efficiently to help people, the accidentally gained energy from the gem stone was another part of your story you had held back, mostly because you had read about the professors connection to the men who most likely invented this thing in the first place and feared he could run off and tell. After all, he still had friends in the prettier part of this land, people who had plenty of influence and who knew what this knowledge would lead to. Despite obviously being uncomfortable with the idea of real, natural magic being around, Heimerdinger had left this part of the agreement to Ekko, seemingly trying to be more open minded about it.

After some discussion, Ekko had agreed to let you keep training your magic, using it in emergencies and in the main time support their medical team. You had no objections, the idea of being able to regain a steady working position was inviting and a good distraction from the very much still present aching in your heart.

So far so good. For about three days. You had awoken with a headache and a bad feeling in your gut. It had followed you throughout the day, while you took care of some wounds, entertained some children in order to brighten their spirits and eventually when you settled at you new training space: a large platform clise to the top of the tree and safely held by his crown. You were just about to try for a new constellation of runes when the explosion was heard. First, you didn't think much of it, they weren't as uncommon as the used to be, until you caught sight of the blue smoke emitting into the sky.

***

Unbeknownst to Silco, his daughter wasn't as willing to wait for revenge as he was. The moment she had understood the way you had left him, seemingly used him while he had been willing ti trust you, had made her feral. The voices hunting through her head spun ideas into her, on how she had to protect him, how he was everything she had left and how she needed to ease his pain by transferring it to where it came from. To you. You had to go. That was the reason for the bomb she had let loose in the corner of the city where she had first found you. Where she knew, you would feel responsible for.

***

You didn't bother informing Ekko you were goin out. He would know soon enough, knowing your silent watcher would carry the information to him as soon as possible. No, you had to go the instant you recognised the direction the smoke rose from. The part of the city you had used to life in once was so far away from everything important, everything interesting, that an attack from Piltover would make no sense whatsoever. Whatever was happening over there, it would be something else and the wish to protect the people you had gotten to know throughout the years was stronger than your fear of what the cause could be. So you left. Taking one of the hovering boards was no option for you, there had been no time to master such balance and so you went as fast as your feet could carry you, taking old familiar shortcuts until the cloud of smoke was only an alleyway apart. That was when you felt it. The tension in the air was high, like something in the atmosphere was waiting for you. Focusing all your senses, you approached the burning building in front of you. You had known the second you passed the corner but seeing it the poor little excuse for a house blown to pieces was unexpectedly frightening. Someone had destroyed your former residence. This was a message for you.

"Traitor." The click of the gun behind your head was uncomfortably familiar to you, sending you back towards the night she had entered your little shag, carrying the corpse of her father in her arms. You froze in your position. Your blood ran cold. "Jinx.." you whispered, not daring to turn around, you could identify her voice without an issue. Your mind was racing, your heartbeat loud in your ears. "You don't matter. We don't need you." The words were spoken with calm anger that didn't fit your impression of the young, energetic girl. "Goodbye, Y/N." You sensed the shift in the air when her finger pressed the trigger. It was a foreign feeling, accepting your fate while another part of you was unmoving and unwilling to die. It happened without your control. The explosion inside the gun almost seemed louder than the explosion before, then again, you hadn't been here when it had happened. The expected pain never came. Instead, the surprised sound of the women trying to kill you, as her bullet didn't meet its target. "What the-" you turned around, wanting to see what she saw, your brain a mess of possibilities. Had she missed? Where you hit? Did the adrenaline mask the pain amd yiu were actually already dying? No.

Instead, you were met with a see-through wall of blue, featherlight and surrounding you like a dome. Her eyes met yours and her brows furrowed in angry confusion as she pulled the trigger again. And again. And again, until all bullets were shot and you still standing in front of her, not a scratch on your skin. Her bright eyes tire into you, frustration and anger overflowing the pink irises as the controlled facade fell away and untamed anger came onto the surface. You saw her reach for her back, probably another kind of gun, when suddenly a range of gunshots cut through the air, filling the alleyway with smoke and noise. Your whipped around, finding the source of the gunfire. Enforcers. A big group of them, mist likely lead here by the explosion, just like you. The secind instinct send your gaze back to Jinx, seeing that she was unharmed, surprised and angry, but unharmed, sent a wave of relief through you. Your brain made a fast connection, hecticly trying to follow the events. Silco had told you about the deal he had been offered before dying. They were here for her.

You had no time to think, when you moved closer to her, not even noticing the wall of blue dissappearing as you grabbed her by the shoulders. "Go home! Now!" The anger was still in her eyes, but so was the confusion. "What-?" "GO HOME, JINX!" You felt your skin starting to crawl again, felt the atmosphere speak to you. Then followed another round of gun shots and this time you felt a bullet flying right past your ear. "FOR FUCKS SAKE!!" The reaction was instinctively, pushing her out of the open and into the side of a building, shielding her in the process. Distinctively, you saw her again reach for the weapon on her back, heavier, broader, but you were in no mood to discuss this with her. "You will get another chance to kill me, I'm sure, but for now you need to leave! They are after you, Jinx!" That caught her attention. Now, irritation was the heaviest emotion in her eyes and you realised how normal that expression slowly became to you. Here you stood, trying to protect the daughter of your ex-partner while she was trying to kill you, enforcers ready to take you out amy minute now. "I will distract them, go through the backside, if you can!" You threw a hectic direction with your hand, ready to turn around and approach the incoming threat, when the two of you heard the sound of a something rapidly coming closer. Through the air.

"On no-" was all that you could say, grabbing her frame and throwing her down, burying her underneath you when the rocket hit the building you had used for protection, successfully hunting the entire frame into the air. A wave of heat hit your skin, not enough to burn but noticeable. You distantly felt the electricity of a new dome around you, protecting you amd the blue haired girl from most of the damage. You pried your eyes open, seeing her fave contorted in fear. The world around you was in flames. The building had exploded even more violently than your own home just minutes before. No time to think of that. Gently but firm, you took Jinx head on your hands, making her look at you with wide, anxious eyes. "I'm sorry. I really am. But you need to go home now. Tell Silco that they're looking for you. You two need to protect each other now, okay?" It took her a moment to hear what you said, but then she nodded. Barely, but it was enough for you. "Good. Thank you, honey." You smiled sweetly, before straightening back up, turning your back to her. The enforcers would probably believe the two of you to be dead, at least would need some time to reload whatever weapon the had used, so you had a few geartbeats of time to take the upper hand. You jad to trust that Jinx would listen, that she would make it. She was smart, she was quick. She would.

Hesitating, you made a few steps through the smoke of the still burning left overs of the building and caught glimpses of silhouettes approaching. Whatever advanced form of magic the gem stones energy had ignited in you, you sure as hell could use it right about now. Concentrating on the feeling inside your middle, you quickly found the quell of magic within, leading the energy into your hands. So far, the most effective form of attack had happened unconsciously, now you had to create it willingly, also pressured by the incoming enforcers. It wouldn't be long until someone would see you through the eye burning smoke so you had to act quickly. You felt the spark within you grow, felt the power radiate from your fingertips. Allowing your head to be filled with worry for the blue haired girl and the anger for what those people did to their surroundings without even bothering to make sure that nobody was inside the house they had just destroyed, you breathed in. Your eyes fell shut. Steps were now very close to you and when you opened your eyes, you looked into the barrel of a gun. "Too late." You informed the men with a apologetic smile, before your body sprung into action. One swift move with your hand and the ground beneath you cracked open, dry, pointy roots you had felt way underneath you, tore through the broken pavement in the blink of an eye, slashing out at your command, throwing the enforcer of his feet. The feeling of fury nestled in your brain, but you forced it down, trying hard to stay in control over your emotions which seemed to be fuelled by the magic just as your body. Surprised calls and screams errupted when you went further, stretching your roots for the men still hidden by smoke, though you could feel their presence. You caught three of them, binding them against the ground, when you heard an angry screech behind you.

Jinx. Surprised, you turned back, forgetting your focus on the enforcers and hecticly rushing back to where you came from. Ekko. And a few of his people. Of course, they had followed you. Her gun layed on the ground, too far to reach for, and Ekko seemed ready to strike her with that weapon of his you yet had to identify. This girl had bad luck today. Without thinking, you made the decision. There were no roots here, but that didn't matter. Jinx couldn't fucking die here. Or anywhere fir that matter. With an angry growl, you forced energy into your feet, before lifting and forcing it back down with as much strength as you could muster.

All hell broke loose. The ground followed your magic like the surface of water, creating a wave that expended from where your foot had made the conncetion, pulsing through the earth and sending everyone flying that passed its way. Voices errupted from before and behind you, people screaming in surprise as they were send backwards, away from the center of the energy. Your eyes found Jinx as she came to her feet quickly, taking the chance to make her exit. Ekkos eyes caught sight of her as well, before flipping back to you. The anger in them was prominent. You had no time to think about it, though, gunshots once again passing by you, as the protective wall around you reappeared like an instinct. Now you stood between Ekkos men and the enforcers.

Despite what you had just done, you were still very much on Ekkos side, so you turned your back to him. If he decided to attack you now, you would accept it. You felt your control increasingly harder to keep, the more magic you used. It had a mind of its own, always had, but with the amount of it currently within you, it was almost as if it was talking to you, tempting you to let go. Without waiting for the gunfire to die down, you returned your concentration to the roots from before and when you send your magic into them this time, they went ferocious. With a new gained speed, they whipped around, overtaken everyone inside their reach, throwing bodies through the air and smashing down on others, all while your emotions once again threatened to overboil, loosing empathy by the second as you heard cries of pain and fear, until finally everything was quiet and you stood there, heaving from exhaustion and emotions.

The smoke had been cut through by the wild roots, slowly dissolving and gave free sight of the mess you had made. Over fourty bodies were sprawled across the torn ground, most of them unmoving, some distorted in unnatural ways. A few were groaning in pain, only a few able to stumble to their feet and fearfully limping away from the scene.

Your insides were screaming, from disgust and the strain the magic had put them under. You had done this. Willingly. "Why did you do that..?" The question came from right behind you and you heard the restrained anger in Ekkos voice. Closing your eyes, you gave into the exhaustion as your head started to spin and you sank down onto your knees. "They were attacking-" "Not them, her!" He barked between your words and it caused your skull to throb violently. You hands covered your eyes in a helpless attempt to shut the already dim light out of your sight. Everything was wrong. "I didn't want you to kill her." It was a whisper but he was close enough to hear you. "She's a menace! She killed almost as many people as Silco! She's dangerous!" You heard something in his voice that wasn't supposed to be there. Almost as if he was trying to convince himself. "You had no right to intervene! You need to decide which side you're on if you want to stay with us." You never caught sight of his expression, as you heard him turn around to leave. Meanwhile your sight started spinning, your throat closed up. Your eyes weakly focused on the ruins of your home still spread in the background, as you felt your body loose its weight, eyes rolling back. The last thought travelling through your head before you passed out was, that once again, you seemingly had made the wrong decision.

***

Silco was talking to one of his informants, listening to what was happening in Piltover, when his office door was swung open and a distressed Jinx tumbled into the room, eyes wide and confused fear displayed in her eyes. Silco stiffened at the sight, worry filling his head, barked his men to leave and approached his daughter as soon as the door was closed. She instantly threw herself around his middle when she reached him and he returned the embrace after short surprise. "Jinx, what-" "She told me to go home- they are after me- she helped me- I don't understaaand-" the last word was stretched as her arms around him tightened. He realised that her mind was a mess these days, sometimes to difficult for even her to understand, so he tried not to push too much, as he gently directed her to the couch so they could settle down together. "Jinx, what happened?" He finally asked with a soft voice when he had sat and she positioned herself in his lap, his hand soothingly rubbing her shoulder. She stayed quiet for a while and he had the feeling that she knew, he wouldn't like what she had to tell.

"I.. I blew up her shag.." she whispered, feeling his grip unconsciously stiffen. "You did what..?" His tone got a little sharper, though he tried hard to keep it calm. She couldn't be saying what he was hearing. "She needed to go! I knew she would come, if I did that!" Her voice was defensive and he felt his teeth grind down on each other. Had she.. Where you gone? He opted for staying quiet, giving Jinx the chance to ramble on. "And she did! I had her at gun point, that should've been it, but.." His guts turned. Despite everything, the thought of your head exploding with blood and pieces of bone had him uneasy. That wasn't a fitting end for you. "She was bulletproof." That caught his intention. "She wore armour?" Jinx violently shook her head against his shoulder, clawing at his clothes. "There was this shield. I think it was magic." She elaborated, still not meeting his eyes. He was processing what she was saying, before she made his eyes snap wide open with her next words. "Then there were enforcers.. They.. She said they were after me." Oh, and he knew you were right. "How did you-?" "She saved me." Her voice got shrill and now he understood the confusion in her face. "She saved me and I don't know why! It doesn't make sense!" He felt her tremble but was just as irritated as her at the story. He wanted to ask something, when she continued. "I tried to leave but this stupid fucking firelights caught me-" Usually he would have asked her how she had let that happen, but it was obvious that your strange action had her messed up. His own heart was racing now, trying to find the logic in your doing. "But she saved me again!" At this point, her fear had made place for anger and she climbed off him, to run aggressive circles in front of him. "I saw the way they acted, I thought they were on the same side, but then she helps me escape?!" She threw her arms in the air, before laughing maniacal and shaking her head. "She is our enemy, why would she help me?!"

Silcos mind was racing. You had saved his daughter. And she was right to be confused. He had heard rumours of you joining the firelights but he had busied himself with other things, trying not to think about you running straight to those he had scolded you for helping just the day before you had left. And you prioritised Jinxs life over them? One hand held his forehead as his thoughts tried to piece the picture together. Had you intended to follow her? No, you knew where he was. What good would it do for you to keep her alive? "Jinx, how did she save you?" The question left his lips before he could really think it through. She cocked a brow, looked at him like it was obvious. "Magic, of course! She put me under that shield thingy when the enforcers attacked and when that guy had me on the ground, she made the earth shake, send everyone flying like it was nothing!" She supported her words by aggressively gesturing with her hands and watched Silco curiously as she watched his eyes widen. "She.. she told me that she could heal some wounds, help flowers grow but that's about it. Either she was lying, or she rapidly improved her-" he stopped. The gem. Was it possible? A wave of emotions swept over him, anger, confusion, curiosity and to his utter dismay, a small, fragile spark of hope. Was it possible that you had actually saved his daughter out of care for her well being? His rational part pushed that idea back down, reminded him harshly of your betrayal.

He could not fall for your seemingly good actions when you had just shown him your willingness to abandon him. He would not allow himself to dwell on those emotions of his. He stood with force, a decision made inside his head. "We will attack in two days. Inform Sevika. She knows what to do."

No. He could not afford to let meaningless emotions distract him from the ongoing war. Piltover was finally going to pay amd you were either going to stay out of it or be part of the losses.

The second the tunnels end came into view, Ekko had navigated you through, a feeling of recognition ignited within you. A giant stem of a tree got visible, at least as wide the the entirety of the last drop. Once the darkness of the tunnel was left behind you, you were able to take in the whole picture and utter awe strook your being. It was mesmerising. The giant of a tree formed the heart of whatever hideout they had turned this place into, carrying tree houses, providing air fresher than anywhere else in Zaun, spending light via the endless amounts of fairy lights attached to the enormous branches.

Your heart swole at the sight of this healthy, sturdy symbol of life and when Ekko landed in the soft grass to its feet, you nearly fell to your knees in order to greet it with excitement in your fingertips. "This is beautiful!" You exclaimed, tears brimming in your eyes from pure bliss. The funny look Ekko gave you, as if you were a child and he your guardian, didn't lessen your joy at all, laughing at your own behaviour without any shame. Why be ashamed of finding joy in small things, anyways? You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath of the welcoming scent if green in the air, filling your lungs with gratitude. "Well, glad you like it." Ekko blankly said, as if debating whether or not he meant it. Your feet were already carrying you to the side of the tree and once you brushed its surface, a memory sparked into life in the back of your head. You had been here before. Closing your eyes, inviting the image to fill your head, you saw yourself as a child, confused and broken, scarred by witnessing yiur mothers death, screaming your throat sore as you cried out for justice, sending shivers of magic into the ground without even attempting to. You breathed out in a gasp, realising that you might have furtalised the roots of the tree when you didn't even know it existed. Confused but happy laughter passed your lips as you felt like greeting am old friend. The hostility from before, the fear and sadness were now replaced by relief. You had connection to other places in the world without even realising.

Ekkos hand on your shoulder brought you back to reality and his cold expression was a stark contrast to the lightness of your heart. "We need to talk." It was an order mire than it was a request and despite your desire to sleep or just enjoy the calm of the evening, you nodded, knowing that you owed him much more than he probably knew.

Ekko lead you up the tree, eyes of strangers following you as you travelled behind him, still taking in all the small details, the technology that filled the rooms you passed by. You stopped when Ekko opened a door into one of the rooms held by the tree and after short hesitation, you entered and he closed the door after following. The room had a relatively low ceiling, though high enough to stand up. A table and couple of chairs filled the room and you sat without waiting for an invitation. He waisted no time.

"Are you still working for Silco?" His voice was harsh and direct, the voice of a leader. Once more you found yourself wondering over the past of this young men. Swallowing down the upcoming emotions at the mentioning of your former employers name, you shook your head. "No. I left this morning." Ekkos eyes kept their icy stare and you slumped down in you seat. "Jeah, convenient, right?" You tried to joke but the heavy sigh you followed it with was an obvious indication of your exhaustion. "Okay, so I know, we only met yesterday and it might look a little suspicious of me to just happen to leave him right after you invited me to join you, but there is no evil plan behind it, I promise." That's what a spy would say, wasn't it? Groaning at his unimpressed expression, you layed your head on your arms, closing your eyes. This was too much. All of it. The entire day was too full of emotional rollercoasters, throwing you up and down and in circles.

"Why do you think didn't I bother to cover your face for our ride here?" The question came out of nowhere and when you looked at him in surprise, there was a hint of a smile on his lips. It made him look even younger and all of the sudden you wanted to hug him, provide him some form of reward for the troubles he had went through. "You are either going to kill me, or-" "Or I have gathered some information about you." In between what, twenty-four hours? You furrowed your brows, a new headache forming behind your eyes. "What kind if information would that be?" He leaned back, crossing his arms. "About your former activities as a healer. Providing services to those in need without any form of payment. Pretty noble thing to do, for someone working under Silco." Your face turned red. "Well.. jeah, sure, I guess." You rubbed your eyes, shaking your head. "One of the reasons I left... It- ahh-" Pinching the bridge of your nose, you sighed. "It.. is complicated. Really. I would love to tell you, but maybe not now?" You saw the process in his eyes, possibly thoughts of what damage you could do if you were to return to the eye of Zaun. "You can keep me under watch if you need to, anything to make you feel more comfortable with my presence, but please, let me be for today." You couldn't help the pleading tone of your voice and just when you thought he would agree, the door was opened from the outside.

A yordle. "Excuse me, dear boy, I was looking for-" your eyes met his, crystal blue irises, meeting yours with curiosity. It was a well known face, belonging to a well known name. "Hello professor, we were just-" "What is he doing here..?" The question left your throat in a harsh whisper laced with disgust as you eyes tore into his small frame. Heimerdinger. A name your father had cursed a thousand times under hus breath.

Ekkos eyes flicked from your suddenly very tense expression to the small professor standing in the doorway, confusion and suprise at your changed demeanour, making very clear that you knew who he was. For a moment, everything was silent, tension filling the air until you suddenly stood, the chair falling onto its back. Ekko mirrored your action instinctively, catching on to the feeling of threat radiating from you. "Whatever it is, calm down, Y/N." His voice was low and demanding but unbeknownst to him, you were no longer able to hear him.

The blood in your veins was boiling, as the expression of the furry men changed from confusion to slight unsettlement, seeing you towering over him. This was the last straw to an already very exhausting day and you felt your control slip.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything-" he tried, his voice careful but Ekko interrupted him. "It's fine. We were done talking anyways, weren't we?" He reached for your shoulder, trying to force your attention onto him but your eyes were frozen on the smaller figure.

Heimerdinger. So very scared of magic. So very sure of the damage it would do. He was the one to spread those fears in the first place. He was the reason your parents were dead. Distantly you realised, that those thoughts were irrational, that your emotions weren't really directed at the yordle in front of you, but your head was a mess and your heart was in control. Your heart and something else, something that lingered deeper within, something that would have you break one way or the other.

"Professor, I think you should leave. Y/N, look at me!" Ekkos voice had gotten louder, seeing that your hands had balled into fists, slightly shaking at your sides. Heimerdinger was about to follow Ekkos advice, making a hesitating step back and you snapped. One push to the side and Ekko was thrown backwards, before your hands grapped harshly at the front of the professors clothes, forcing him into the air, only to shove him back down and into the corner of the room, blocking the door with your body.

You were furious, you were ballistic. Something was wrong, something made you loose control, stripped you of rational thinking but you didn't care. "You piece of shit! You are responsible for everything! How dare you walk into my sight!" Your voice was shaking with anger, your shoulders stiff, your body under adrenaline and filled with electricity. The small man looked up at you from were he had unceremoniously landed, now utter fright in his face and to you it was a delight to see him shiver in fear. "Dear child, can we-?" "QUIET!" You raised a hand, ready to punch into the face of the cause for all of your pain, when suddenly the air was pressed out of your chest, when Ekko tackled you to the floor. He violently pushed your head into the rough surface of the wooden floor and like a caged animal, you roared. "GET OFF OF ME!" But Ekko stood strong, keeping your struggling body down. "Calm the fuck down! What's gotten into you?!" In the corner of your eye, you saw Heimerdinger climbing back to his feet, once again trying to leave but oh, you were having none of it. With the final warning in form of an angry growl, you let loose on your magic.

With a surprised yelp, Ekko was swept away from you, angry wooden roots trapping him against the wall while your energy pulsed into the tree beneath you. You stood calm, threatening and when you met the professors eyes this time, there was understanding followed by shock but before he could open his mouth to say something, you had him back in a tight grip, this time by another pair of roots, wrapping around his throat, forcing him back against the corner as you stepped closer, menacingly slow. Ekko willed some protest through his lips, calling to your morals but it fell on deaf ears. The entire room was shaking under the energy pulsing through you and into the tree, through its roots and back into you. This was what power felt like. This was control.

The blue eyes wide with helplessness and tears from the pain, caused you to laugh bitterly. "Do you expect mercy? After everything you and your people took from me? After everything you forced the people down here to suffer through? AFTER MURDERING MY FAMILY?!" The roots tightened even more, as tears fell from your eyes, pain bubbling through the mask of anger that layed above it. Why did everything have to hurt. Why did your heart ache so much? Through tears you looked at him. It wouldn't take much now. The snap of his neck or just waiting for him to suffocate. Free the world of his cruelty.

Cruelty. The word slipped through your head like a snake until it reached the part of you locked away under the rush of emotions. You found many things in this yordles eyes, but cruelty was none of it. Fear, confusion, sadness and.. was it acceptance? Was it forgiveness? You felt your head clearing, felt the anger slipping away like water. With your fingers, so did the roots loosen its grip. "It wouldn't change anything." You whispered to yourself, trying to recollect your rationality. "It would only create more fear.." it was a reminder, words of your mother uttered into your heart after the death of your father, when anger was the strongest emotion inside you. Sighing, you closed your eyes, took back the control over your heartbeat, over the energy pulsing through your veins, that you now recognised as stronger than it had been before.

Soflty, the roots retreated, letting go of the men and while you heard Ekko catch himself, Heimerdinger was close to unconsciousness so you caught him instead. He was small, he was surprisingly soft and to your own shock, you felt no despise for him anymore. "I'm sorry." You muttered, gently tilting his head to the side to look at the skin underneath. Dark, purple bruises marked the spot of mistreatment under the soft fur, and it made you sick.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry.." and there came all of it, the sadness, the fear, the guilt, the heartbreak. In an instinctive desire for touch, you pressed him to your chest, softly, as not to hurt him any more. To your surprise, you felt small hands against your sides, gently petting the body underneath. "I understand." He croaked, his voice strangled but soft. "I'm sorry, too." At that, your last walls broke down, leaving you a sobbing, shaking mess, holding the men you had desired to kill just heartbeats before.

Ekko watched the interaction with hard calculation. Whatever just went down in front of him, it answered some of his questions. At least he believed so. For example, how you had managed to bring a men back from the dead. Why you would do that in the first place was a question for another day.

It took quite some time for you to calm down, once the dam had been broken but Ekko waited patiently, following the silent request in the professors eyes to let you be for now. It didn't sit well with him, letting an obviously dangerous person hold his new, unlikely friend, but he respected the scientist enough not to intervene. When your sobs died down to an unsteady breathing, you pried yourself away from him.

"Can.. can I maybe..?" You asked, still shaking, motioning for his neck. You saw uncertainty and fear flicker in his eyes but after a short glance to the side, where you presumed Ekko sat, he nodded. Gently, as if to prove that you had no ill intentions, you hovered your hands above his skin, closing your eyes, concentrating on the pulsing between them. You were exhausted, drained and felt barely anything but pain, but you had to make this right, had to prove your apology was meant. Heat sprawled through the palm of your hands, the feeling of energy spiking from your skin to his and when he winced at the contact, you heard Ekko jump to his feet. "Only a second.." you mumbled and when you opened your eyes again, you saw another emotion in those intelligent blue eyes. Awe and gratitude. You smiled weakly, stepping back from the now recovered skin, shakily coming to your feet. Ekko was quick to steady you, even though he did it harsher than necessary but you understood and didn't complain.

Heimerdinger felt his throat, testing his voice and smiled softly up at you, still a little fear in his eyes. "You.. you are a magican?" It was more of a statement than a question but you nodded still, your lips trembling as you smiled. "That's certainly a surprise.." He commented on his own observation, the unsteady smile still on his lips, his eyes switching between you and Ekko. His mustach was a little messy due to the harsh treatment and he busied himself with brushing it back into form, while thoughtfully looking at the ground. Ekko was the next one to speak. "You nearly killed him." Another observation, but one that struck your heart. You gulped, trying to keep the tears down. Your were on the edge, your body mentally and physically exhausted and every little moiton would put you back into the hole of being overwhelmed.

"I don't know where that came from.." you whispered, though you knew it was a pretty poor excuse. "I- I just.." oh no, new tears were coming and you aggressively wiped them away. "I'm sorry. I will leave, I'm really sorry, I-" "It's okay, my dear. You need rest, we can talk about this in the morning, okay?" Ekko threw the yordle a bewildered look. "Well I'm not dead, am I?" The professor raised a prominent brow, giving Ekko the chance to drop the topic, but he didn't seem interested in that. "Well, she could've brought you back then, anyways, could you not?" He asked with a biting tone, visible less willing to just forgive you. While Ekko was willing to use your current condition to get information, Heimerdinger seemed repulsed by that idea, probably seeing the way your eyes lacked of life, maybe a hint of his own guilt making him a little more conflicted about your treatment.

You, on the other hand, were just done. You had no fight left in you, even with the amount of magic energy still left within. You just wanted to sleep until everything made sense again. Closing your eyes, you sank back to your knees, waiting for the two men to decide how to proceed from here on out. Your heart cried out for a well known name, sending images into your head of where you could be right now, had you not made this choice today. Laying in his arms, listening to his soothing voice, feeling save and loved.

"Either tell me where to go, or I will sleep right here, right now." It was a mumbled, pretty pathetic threat, but both stopped talking anyways. You didn't see what they were doing but you guessed that they finished their conversation telepathically. In the end, you heard a heavy sigh, most likely coming from the younger one. "I will show you a room where you can sleep. Don't expect to-" "I don't expect to even be alive tomorrow, so do as you want." Was your weak reply. Silence followed and when you opened your eyes, you saw very misplaced worry in the fluffy face of the professor, irritation in Ekkos. "Well then.." the later answered and soon enough you found yourself on a small, soft mattress, your body finally allowed to rest. Even though your head desperately needed the same, you were haunted by images of your parents and the death you had seen throughout the years. Only when you settled on a not so old memory of a rather soft evening with that certain someone next to you, whose scent would haunt you for the rest of your life, you found yourself able to let go of the heavy burdens of today, sinking into an eventful slumber.

You awoke early in the morning, Silcos arms still holding you in a possessive grip. Your sleep had been filled with pictures of future and past, already fading into unconsciousness as you opened your eyes against the dim light of the room. It was as if your head had used the time of rest to sort through the mess that had inhabited your mind before you had drifted off. The scent of him, a well memorized impression in your heart, reminded you of the situation you were in, making you shift slightly, only to be able to see his face. He looked so peaceful, the usually so stoic features of his sharp face relaxed and soft. Your hand found the edge of his high cheekbone, following the structure as he reacted to your touch with a hitched breath before his good eye slowly pried open. A sad smile played on your lips as his sleepy gaze met yours and he hummed lowly in approval of your soothing motions. "What time is it?" His voice was heavy with sleep and you didn't bother looking at the clock before responding. "It's early. We still got time." His eye dropped close again, one hand lazily drawing circles into the skin of your hip. Again, you focused only on him, his body against yours, the heat of his skin. It would all fade too soon and you wanted to keep the memories of him as close as possible. You had made an unsteady peace with your decision and you knew that you would have to act before it faltered all over again. With heaviness in your heart, you leaned in, pressing a kiss to his jaw before nuzzling back into the crook of his neck.

You spent about half an hour in bed, before nature called and you wound out of his grip despite his whining, slipping into the bathroom. When you returned, he was already on his feet, shedding off his pajamas and getting ready for the day. You sighed as you saw him back in his professional attire, the comfort of awaking together slowly fading from the room. "Busy day?" You questioned while changing your clothes as well, into your most comfortable and movable clothes. Who knew what the day would hold for you? "Meetings of the usual. There are important decisions to be made today." He muttered, walking over to you, his hands fixing the last buttons of his vest. "Nothing you need to worry about." He took your hand, brought you closer until he could press his lips to yours. You felt him carry a heaviness of his own today and you wondered, if he could feel the change within you subconsciously. "How long until you have to leave?" A quick glance towards the heavy clock in the corner of the room. "About twenty minutes." He looked at you expectantly and you sighed. That surely wouldn't be enough. "And when will you be back?" A low chuckle shook his body, his eyes teasing. "Are you so greedy for my presence, dear?" A long fingered hand gently brushed some loose strands into your hair. "I can't say for sure. It might get rather late." Another kiss to your forehead.

Great. No time for heartbreak in the life of an undercity crimeboss it seemed. Wait until tomorrow? No, you couldn't afford to risk loosing your confidence now. But neither could you tell him just before an important meeting with the smaller bosses of Zaun. Sighing, you leaned into him, your arms lazily wrapped around his middle. "I'm going to miss you." You whispered and the soft exhale it was followed with, made you wamt to kiss him again. Maybe for the last time. "I will miss you as well, dear. But I wouldn't want you to witness those men and their stupidity." The unspoken worries of your opinion on the decisions they would make, lingered in the air for a moment before you chose to push them away. "You will do great, I know it." You attempt at an encouraging smile was rather pathetic but you saw understanding in his eyes and he smiled in return. It was rare, seeing a genuine, warm smile on his features and it filled you with pride and sadness. Yes, you would miss him dearly. The time ticked by and you drew him in for a final, passionate kiss, enjoying the way his lips felt against yours, the desire that pulsed between your hearts as it grew steamy and headless. He was the one to pull away, his face flushed and his lips a darker red. "I need to get ready now. Let's continue this later, shall we?" You grinned wickedly. "Hmmm... maybe?" You laughed at his irritation and slipped past him. "Can I help you with anything?"

Indeed you could. Silco seemingly tried to keep you close for as long as possible, asking you to help with his make up. You raised a brow at that. "Well, if you ask me so kindly.. but do you need it though?" He rolled his eyes at you, beckoning you closer to his desk where the skin coloured powder was already waiting. "We've got ten more minutes so you better don't start arguing with me about this." The smile at his demanding voice came naturally and you placed yourself in his lap, taking the little container in your hands. "Okay then, no arguing." He sighed, closing his eye, trusting you to e careful and careful you were. With soft, precise strokes you covered the darkest parts of his scars with a layer of paste and powder, making sure it looked as naturally as possible. "I get why you use it. Still, you look perfectly fine without it." You started the monologue when you reached the corner if his bad eye. "It's intriguing. Your eye, I mean. I know, it probably hurst like hell, but it is pretty." His hands found your waist, settling under your top, heating your skin. "You're talking to much." "I work better when I talk." You quickly replied, squinting your eyes for sharper view. "That's why I was talking to myself when I brought you back from the dead." You muttered and his fingers drove a little deeper into your flesh, tickling you and it made you jump slightly. "Now you're provoking me to do it wrong!" Playfully smacking his shoulder, you returned to finish up, not missing the ghost of a smile tucking at his lips. Once you were done, you placed the small make up tool back on his desk, staying in his lap for a moment longer, admiring your work. Your heart was aching, begging you to change your mind as you locked eyes with him, but your brain was content with your decision and not willing to back down. You stole one last, innocent kiss, then you hopped off and he raised to his feet, heading for the door, his coat already in his arms. He stopped in the doorway, throwing a glance back at you where you were resting on his couch, watching him leave. "Do as you want, but please, stay save, will you?" Silcos voice was serious and your heart was screaming now, but you ignored it as best as you could. "I will. Goodbye, Silco. I love you." It was the closest you could get to a 'farewell' without wording it out and despite the hesitation you saw in his good eye, he turned to leave. "Goodbye, my love." Then he was gone and all that was left were you and your protesting heart, as you raised to go retrieve a pen and paper.

It wasn't ideal. Actually, it was pretty damn crappy to leave a fucking goodbye letter instead of talking to him in person, but this was the best you could do. You had written two pages filled with black ink and left it on your side of his bed. You had thought about what you were going to say, but it had ended up a whole lot different than what you had intended. Your heart had takens control and after reading it twice, you had decided it enough, mostly because of your fear of being unable to write anything new, anything better. You had packed as much as would fit in you worn old bag, stuffed it with hard to collect ingredients, the most needed clothes and, after some hesitation, the gem stone. You knew, he would be furious once he noticed, believe you to be a traitor for sure, but you couldn't leave it.

Jinx would use it to attack Piltover once more, and who knew what was going to happen then? The war had already started, that wasn't your concern, but you had actually managed to break its surface, who was to say it wouldn't explode the next time it was used? An arcane explosion in on itself was bad enough, one of this power would maybe tear away half of the town. No, it was just too dangerous, you were not willing to risk someone, especially not her, accidentally blowing themselves up.

And so you left. Nobody stopped you, nobody followed as you took the old familiar path. You had no idea where you were heading and so far, it didn't matter. It was around noon by now and there was no hurry to get anywhere to hide, you were full of energy and due to the war Piltover had begun, enforcers were less of a concern for the time being. So in case anyone else wanted to fight you, you were willing to use your magic to defend yourself. You were strong enough by now to get rid of attackers if you needed to. Once you reached the river, you turned to the left, walking against the flow, exploring new ways. Your heart was an ever talking menace, trying to argue again and again but you kept yourself busy with walking, your head trying to overshadow your feelings with thoughts of where you could go to do what you wanted to- help people. Give them hope. Instead, you found yourself at a dead end, halting in front of a big, high wall of a building, most likely abandoned and forgotten, the only opening you could see was high up above the ground, unreachable wholes in the sandcoloured stone. You had walked for hours on end, your feet hurt and your back heavy so you decided to rest. To your shock, the sun was already setting again and a sudden feeling of dread inhabited your body. Soon, he would come home. He would find the letter. He would be hurting.. You violently shook your head, trying to stop those images from forming. In a desperate attempt to distract yourself, you grabbed the gem out of your bag. Might as well go for it. If the small thing was going to explode without you being able to contain it, then what better place for that than an abandoned corner of Zaun, where you hadn't seen people pass you for hours.

Greedy to express some of your emotions in the form of magic, you place the little globe on the ground and started as always, forming a steady growing cloud of blue between your fingers.

***

Silco was exhausted but content with the plan they had agreed upon. It was thrilling to finally be in the position to force some justice onto the arrogant ignorance that was sitting across the bridge, living off of the the back of Zauns people. It had taken lots of his negotiation skills to get the others to agree to his rather calm approach instead of running headless into any form of fight that was offered, but he had gotten them where he wanted them in the end. Now, all he wanted was to return home, find some peace in the arms of his love, hear your heartbeat against his ear, listen to your soothing words. He was still vary of his addiction to you, but he tried his best to allow himself some comfort.

***

The first try was more of an aggressive swipe with a sword, unconscious anger filling your head as your leapt out again, a fiery growl on your lips. Tears welled up in your eyes as the anger mixed with sadness, forcing the shape of magic in your hands to soften its edges, the runes in the air shaking slightly. Stupid fucking heart. Stupid morals. Another strike, this one more of the form you had been going for, still fragile but a closed system in itself. Frustration swept over you and the last try you managed was lead by an angry, broken scream you yourself barely heard as it tore through your throat. And then came the crack. It was loud and heavy, as if it was a giant breaking instead of a marble and you felt the force of the upcoming explosion in your veins. Your scream faded into a battle cry as you instinctively forced your ball of magic around the blinding light emitting from the inside of the small ball.

Instead of an all consuming explosion, there was something akin to electricity, as the energy of the gem coiled underneath your net of magic, pulsing, fighting, until, with a sudden and sharp feeling of pain, it fused into yours. The enormous amount of power trapped within the creation of scientists, found its way into your own and in the blink of an eye, it followed its flow right back into its source which was, unfortunately, you. The rush with which the energy flooded your system was beheading, filling your veins, your msucles, your organs, every last inch of your being. Like an electroshock, it kept you frozen while rampaging through your body, screening you vision with a blinding white, your ears with the noise of static, so loud, you were scared of loosing your hearing altogether. It lasted maybe a second before it seemingly found home somewhere inside you, most likely the place your own magic was usually stored, and the schock of your muscles faded, making you tumble to the ground, gasping for air like someone who just escaped waters after nearly drowning. You could feel the energy still inside you, tucked away in your body. You were a shaking, whining mess, your whole body felt overstimulated in an awful way, your head was pounding, trying to process what just had happened.

Wavering, you raised your gaze, staring at the spot the gem had set. In its place were left only shards of its former exterior, looking distinctively like shattered glass. Dumbfounded, you kept staring, as if you weren't sure of what you were seeing. You did it. The thought came distant and without amy joy, just emotionless acceptance. You had done, what you had planned to do. The gem was gone. Instead of relief, a feeling of despair grew inside your guts. Now what? The one goal you had had was now reached. You fell back down on you bum, staring helplessly at the empty space before you. Where would you go? What would you do? Did you even have an idea of how to start helping people again? Had you even decided on what people you were going to help? Of course not. No, you were to busy on trying to run from a men, who didn't even keep you locked up. You could've left any day, but you had to go without any sense of what to do afterwards, didn't you.

You closed your eyes, trying to regain control of your thoughts, the anger from before subsidising. You had your reasons. Don't let the feeling of disorientation turn into doubt. Breathing calmly, in and out, you rested your head against the dirty ground. You would be okay. This was a success.

***

Sevika had heard something collide with the wall of Silcos office when she had approached it and when she opened the door, a cautious question on her lips, she froze. Silco was towering over his desk from the outer side, his shoulders raising rapidly under the aggressive breaths he was taking. The small table in front of the couch was broken, leaning in pieces against the wall it had made conact with. His slender form was shaking under the rage he was experiencing. She had seen his anger issues once or twice so it didn't leave too much of an impression on her. "Sir-?" "Out." It was a breathed command, one of those kind that would be followed up with a knife being thrown at the intruder and so she left, not willing to provoke him further.

He had faced the window the entire time and so she hadn't seen the heavy expression on his face. Anger, grief, hatred and confusion battled in him over control, as he stared down at the written words you had left him to crumble over. He didn't understand. And yet he did. He hated himself for the hope that you had ignited within him, the feeling of safety and love you had provided him with. At least he had believed so. Now he saw your truth spelled out over these pages, laughing at him, shaming him for his foolishness. Had he not seen it in your face this morning? Had he not known that something was wrong? Every kind wird you had ever spoken, now sounded distasteful in his memories, your touches turning poisonous. His face twisted with fury as he swept his arm across his desk, shoving his belongings to the ground in a rush of anger. The ashtray, sturdy and not easy to break, rolled for a moment before falling over next to his foot. Jinx. He had been right after all. He only had her. Everyone else was not to be trusted. With a frightening calm, he bend down to pick up the colouful piece and placed it back on his desk.

To hell with you. He would make sure that you would feel the same pain as him. One way or the other.

***

When the sun dissappeared entirely, you were still sitting in the same spot as before. You had managed to calm yourself down enough to see things clearer again, only for you to realise, that everything you wanted right now, was to tell Silco of your progress. You didn't have anyone now and even though you had lived this way for quite some time, now you had been reminded of how nice it could feel to have someone by your side. To feel wanted.

A noise caught your attention, distracting you from your thoughts. Green light emitted from above you, before it flashed by, coming to a rapid halt on the ground a few feet away from you. You knew who it was, the instant his mask came into view, an owl like face slipping of to reveal Ekko, staring down at you. "Were you the one screaming like a banshee?" You could only look into his eyes, nodding weakly. "Are you hurt?" The air left your lungs as you breathed an unamused laugh, shaking your head. "Honestly? I- I feel the worst I've ever been. But I'm not hurt, no." Your voice was shaking as he walked closer, squating down before you. He had something aggressive on his lips but it faded into nothingness as he saw the pleading in your eyes. Instead he stood up again, offering his hand to you. "Do you need a place to stay?" With a choked sob, you nodded, taking his hand. The ride on his flying board was scary and he scolded you for bringing him off balance or clutching too harshly onto him, but once you caught the drift, it was easier. He was silent throughout the flight, most likely too concentrated on keeping the two of you in the air to keep up the small talk and you didn't mind. Watching the stars above you, rather than the town beneath, you felt weirdly at peace. Maybe, just maybe you would find a place to belong, eventually.