Mr. Chat

“I think it’s messed up we live in a world that celebrates violence and demonizes the very act of love.”

“There’s only one commandment in the bachelor man bible. Don’t be a dick.”

My prediction for episode 7. He'll be fine guys no worries.

“ok but what if you infodump for us instead?”

I present to you: Martin on Love Island. Enjoy or smthn

TITLE: martin on love island FEATURING THE CHARACTERS: chicken brent, martin blackwood WRITERS: sashawife, briartwst, prof-hidge

RATED ALL AGES

Martin was walking through the streets of london, feeling utterly dejected. Jon told him to die for the 400th time today… Sigh. Maybe he really does hate him. MAhtint wil never stop loving him tho.

Martin sat down on a soggy bench, ew, and sighed loudly. "maybe he'll never love me…"

Little did martin Know… he just sat down next to Chicken Brent from the hit Movie, Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. The ULTIMAte hype man.

"YOOOOOOOO ZAWG WUTS GAWT U DOWN IN THE DUMPS??????"

"Feelings of love and uncertainty, I fear," said Martin Blackwood of the hit podcast The Magnus Archives. "HEY DONT WORRY DUUUDE AT LEAST YOU STILL HAVE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE SAVINGS DUDE," said mister Chicken Brent. However, it didn't truly cheer up Martin. After a small moment of silence, Chicken Brent continued. "DUDE ITS OKAY WE STILL HAVE SO MUCH DUDE." Martin let out a small chuckle, but he couldn't truly feel content. "I suppose," Martin said, shrugging.

Brent might have been a knucklehead, but he was just about the nicest knucklehead Martin could have possibly run into. His meaty hand slid onto Martin's shoulder, giving space for his other limb to make a thumbs-up. "You know what I do when life hits me with something totally wack and lame? I keep on goin'. You can't get where you're going if you don't know where you've been, dude!"

Martin weakly smiled. He wasn't too big of a fan of Brent's sweaty hand messing up his sweater, but the reassurance in the sardine-lover's words was genuine.

back to moray eel agenda 🤿🐠🪸

Hey, so. Last night, I said some things about the ship I dislike, and my thoughts were communicated quite poorly, making me not only seem like an asshole, but also an utter idiot, and I'm sorry for saying all those things. I thought that the reasons why I don't ship it weren't being portrayed enough, and yeah, I admit, I could have worded it and done it a lot better. I apologize for my transgressions and lack of clear communication, and honestly have grown to respect y'alls for putting up with dumbasses like me and being able to ship what y'alls ship anyway, keep existing. I get if this apology sucks and y'all still wanna block or unfollow, and I respect that.

Sorry if this sounds like a YouTuber apology or smth I really don't know how else to say it

Ironically enough, I've now fallen into the rabbit hole of liking some toxic ships myself - hell, I even lowk fuck with Michie (kinda, I really like the idea of Richie pretending Max is just a tsundere and is actually in love with him as Max is about to give that man the biggest fucking wet willie of his life).

I've become a better person and writer, highly anti censorship and chronic AO3 user. I've been highly adamant about "let people ship what they want" and "don't like don't read," all the things a good fandom participant should do.

I guess I'm getting back into my Hatchetfield phase, and everyone probably forgot about that original post, but I guess it's nice just talking about it and saying, "yeah, that was so fucking stupid of me. Sorry gang, I've gone on a redemption arc now guys" haha.