Malik Siddiqui

well looks great man, cat hair is the absolute worst

cats have no place in a kitchen, let alone in a crockpot,

@thegrampy-cat Look familiar?

You made a huge mess of my kitchen and put satan in my crockpot?

And we both know that I’m the only person who is genuinely flattered to be compared to a very practical and under rated kitchen appliance.

I just got my nails done. Homicide will not be on the table

I’ll go with sticking around. 

Good decision. Since im keeping you, can i activate the cuddle features when we have time? I want to pick your brain.

You're seriously starting to make me sound like a blender or something. Come on over.

I just got my nails done. Homicide will not be on the table

I’ll go with sticking around. 

Yeah, I have retained exactly zero resale value, so good luck with that.

Mmm possibly. It does go against my contract with our publisher.

I’m hoping you mean homicide and not the return to sender thing.

Yeah, I have retained exactly zero resale value, so good luck with that.

I believe that is their job mali. Making old men feel young.

Yeah, that's the theory. I'm neither old nor lonely so I'll pass.

Bonfires are not so bad once you get your girlfriend to stop wearing a spider on her face… @write-right-tati

Yeah yeah Mali. I let the beautiful little thing go. Anyways how many of them do you think you will be carrying back to their cabin?

Ideally? None. But I can name about five who look like they’ll be needing someone’s assistance.

I made a new friend. Mali not a fan but i think im going to name her charlotte

I met enough poisonous creatures in my life without voluntarily bringing them home, thanks.

@write-right-tati brought mugs and a blanket

Always prepared Mali. Im just gathering few snacks, cocoa powder and the hot water. Be there soon

Pretty sure that's my number one selling quality: Always prepared. I'm the guy with the crockpot.