Some Kind of Weird Goth Cowboy

"Summon ketamine ape is a banned spell" fuck it fine whatever, I summon a normal gorilla. I summon some ketamine.

No way thats called Orangina

Amazing moments in Dads: my friend’s dad’s critique of Frankenstein was, “I just don’t think the author had read science fiction before.”

stop letting miserable people on the internet convince you that you must have a concrete, well-constructed opinion on everything that has ever existed.

everybody say thank you Marcus Aurelius

Moral of The Story: What?

sometimes older people get annoyed when i say "no problem" instead of "you're welcome" but the truth is it's literally not a problem

and sometimes you're not welcome

we are the daughters of the hamburgers you couldn't help

You are now entering Steely Dan Saturday

nosferatu? no. tuferatu. no es mi problema.

no mi circo no mis feratus

I feel like an alien tomb would be sooooo fucking cool until a alien mummy gets up and chase you

This happened to me. You think mummies are slow as fuck and you can outrun them. But alien mummies have a ray gun.

do not trauma dump on my posts please