The Glass Dragon Collective @theglassdragoncollective - Tumblr Blog

Welcome to the Glass Dragon

An OSDD system blog trying to figure ourselves out. Will update accordingly as we get our bearings.

We all answer to “Glass” as a collective last name. We are usually co-fronting or in co-con together, so it can be difficult to pick us apart specifically. But we try.

We have a lot of interaction from various people on this blog.

The people who have the most experience front desk “the Dragon Head” are:

Braine (They/Them/X/Xyr)

- knows the most about the system generally, spends all xyr time in the control room

- bosses everyone around over the system’s intercom

- still fronts somehow

Ryan (He/Him)

- is a dudebro

- holds our positive emotions and connections

- is the system’s DJ

Chrellys (She/Him)

- If you don’t know how to pronounce it, good, neither does she

- Rules half the innerworld known as “the underworld” from a haunted castle

- This will probably become his aesthetic blog

MONARCH (Fae/Fyr/Oe/Ode)

- Persephone to Chrellys’s Hades (this is how they describe their relationship)

- system librarian

- only current system member that prefers to handwrite

Agony (He/She/They)

- wakes up and chooses violence every time

- loves stuffed animals

- Chrellys’s twin

KAISLEY/Guy Kaisley (She/Her or He/They)

- Former insect humanoid, species unspecified

- Likes bright neons and pastels

- Ryan’s sister

James (He/They)

- is chronically afraid of most things

- Ryan’s longtime platonic boyfriend

- possibly trapped in Chrellys’s basement

Andrian (He/Him)

- former pirate captain, recovering his memory

- likes fish

- voted most likely to be an underwhelming main character in a YA novel

ME (She/Her/Ze/Hir)

- Yes, ME is her name

- She’s not any more the host than the rest of us, Chrellys just has poor naming choices

- loves food and weird animals, will tag generally for both

Idan (He/Him)

- Trickster

- Can hop through different parts of the system through rabbit holes

- Commits the most food crimes

People in other notable parts of the Dragon, like the Dragon Spine, etc. Largely serve a protective function, they call themselves “The Workforce” working at the behest of our executive function subsystem Internal Affairs.

Gabrielle Quinton (Ze/Zir/He/Him) - is like a grandfather despite being like mid-thirties at most

Algernon (They/Them or he/him to specifically reference being a himbo) - Is just taller Ryan with long hair, goes by “Algie” is Marbelle’s bodyguard

Ingride (She/Her) - a stickler for the rules who can turn anything into a weapon

Ollie (He/They) - Chrellys as a pessimist, short king who likes olive green and takes no shit

The Everwood is a subsystem of largely elves and other nonhuman scribes who record things for the rest of the system in the safety of a heavily wooded canyon. They are not used to outerworld technology but are very friendly and like interacting (except for Mhedaeve).

Telmar (He/Him) - Upbeat elven scribe, always ready to help

Mhedaeve (He/Him) - Intimidating being of mist who mostly lurks over Telmar’s shoulder, they are boyfriends.

Achilles (He/Him) - Nonhuman that embodies open spaces, not an introject

Kosavar (He/Him) - Local “elf” enjoying his “elf” breakfast, maybe runs a cursed pumpkin patch

The Apple Orchard is a subsystem that’s a flourishing fairy community, mostly internal, they keep largely to themselves, but they do have a lot of authority. MONARCH was originally from here.

Julsing (She/Hir) - fairy with the ability to shape headmates for the Garden House, comes out to supervise

Apryllle (She/Hir) - a shapeshifting fairy in the headspace, MONARCH’s niece, mostly not out

Garden (Leviathan’s He/Him) - MONARCH’s ex-husband, it’s complicated.

People from our subsystem the Garden House who are largely various furry critters, more or less anthropomorphic. They were “made by” and get instructions from the Apple Orchard.

Pickett (He/They?) - porcupine with a strong British accent, MONARCH’s familiar

Maury (He/Him) - wombat who just wants to live his innerworld life, Pickett’s longtime partner

Jack (He/Him) - Mischievous possum and reforming “bad boy” with an attitude and strong accent

Onion (He/Him) - introverted white mouse who has a soft disposition but appreciates some good horror, probably siblings with Mushroom

Mushroom (She/He/They) - goth mouse who likes doing everything to semi-intimidating music, probably siblings with Onion

Maurnie (She/Her) - raccoon who likes memes and burgundy red

Morris Morrisey (He/They) - slug elder who thinks piloting a human body is great, Norton’s longtime partner

Norton (He/Him) - “youthful” snail elder who loves living, Morris’s longtime partner

Milk (He/Him/!/!!/??/???/[-]/[()]) - panic ant, Morris and Norton’s adopted son

Avril (He/Him/Bzz/Bzzt/Bee neos) - grumpy bee who likes leather

Fred Crowe (He/They) - Idan’s emo messenger raven, bfs with Chris

Chris (He/Her, exclusively that way) - Jaded deer centaur, best friends with Fred

Luce (She/They) - grey mouse who loves nice things and her girlfriend <3

Crickett (He/She/They) - Luce’s apathetic emo girlfriend. Praying mantis.

Ghastley (He/They) - Vole who loves sunflowers

Kgder (He/Her) - small alligator with a jumbled accent

Felis (He/Hym/Hyms) - befuddled college weasel

Pinky (???) - White sugar glider with two brain cells. Worst accent. Enthusiatic.

Shellside/Under Sea is a deep-sea subsystem surrounded by a mountain range and is full of leviathans, who help oversee the innerworld and take care of us even though they have rather intimidating forms as creatures of the deep, usually measurable by buildings.

Noene (She/Him) - 60-year-old butch who doesn’t take shit, system carer (from Shellside)

Feraine (He/Him) - Aquatic that helps Noene and the nymphs, best at math

Mhirodor (He/They) - Bisexual pirate/smuggler, very lowkey until he’s breaking and entering or protecting a friend

Evilare (He/Him) - Gay cabin boy on the same ship as Mhirodor

Ferinor (He/Him) - Ship navigator with a sense of style but no sense of direction

Maryntide (They/She) - Nonbinary sea witch who takes care of deepsea friends

Patrocles (He/Him) - Loch Ness Monster adjacent, Idan’s boyfriend, he’s the more somber type

Vanaheim (He/They) - Some kind of kraken, ready to release his rage on broken thermostats, he thinks the human body is really funny and likes doting on the rest of us.

Leeland (He/Her) - merfolk of questionable hair color

Almonium (He/Him) - Frost giant and leviathan, one of our oldest system members, Prince’s father

Petrichor (He/It) - A mountain goat, but in a half-human half-goat way. Youngest system member. Lab assistant. Likes horror stuff and everything goat related.

Artemis (He/Him) - A markhor, but in a half-human half-goat way. Leviathan atop the all-seeing mountains of Undersea.

Saros (She/They) - a well-put together human who loves cute clothes and bright colors

Orin/Orion (He/Him + Bird neos) - A hawk, in a half-human half-hawk way. Saros’s companion.

The Everling (anything that’s not traditionally feminine) - Leviathan who fronts as an elf. Technically doesn’t belong to any one part of the system but comes from here. Considered a force of nature innerworld.

The Smallest Kingdom is a subsystem of largely moth people, though they can resemble other insects, isolated up in the mountains that surround Undersea. They are very defensive and generally hostile to outersiders, with all but one conscious system member having escaped.

Moss (Fi/Fir/He/Him) - a quiet and reserved moth prince recently escaped to Undersea with the help of Mhirodor’s crew

Fiona Wllow (She/Her?) - inspector spider for the Smallest Kingdom, handles interactions between the subsystem and the outside

GT (He/Him) - grasshopper vigilante who likes breaking the law as much as his spider boyfriend

W. Vess (V/Vir/He/Him) - the spider boyfriend

Prince V (He/They?) - Almonium’s son and trickster, his position is unclear but he’s poised to front more.

Oyomi (He/Him, strictly nonbinary) - trickster and master of mischief

Marbelle (He/They) - Traumaholder between the Smallest Kingdom and Undersea. Possibly a werefox. Possibly part insect. Definitely a chronically ill Victorian child.

The Adarra Forest also known as Adarra Village is another subsystem of mostly elves and nature spirits who express themselves almost solely through their fantasy writing project “Dead Flowers.” Which does have a tag. They like answering questions for it.

Lycan (He/Him) - a feral elf boy who runs off sleep deprivation and writing

Ferris (He/They) - Lycan’s forest spirit boyfriend and master of chaos

Guiles (He/Him) - Lycan’s mild-mannered werewolf boyfriend.

Kaerse (She/Her) - only voice of reason, gets things done

R. Wolfe - Leviathan King of Wolves, is thought to be over all werewolves in the system to some capacity.

Peril (He/Him) - White rabbit, Damein’s overenthusiastic boyfriend

The Swamp is a restricted area in the Upperworld that may or may not be its own subsystem. Full of protectors, guardians, and people who have a lot to deal with.

Jarvae (He/Him/Vae/Vaer) - werewolf traumaholder, Mhirodor’s boyfriend

Alder the Adder (He/Him/Hisssss) - adder with a humansona, good at yoga

Sterne (He/They/Hir) - Stork with a strong sense of justice, Alder’s bestie

Moose (He/They) - younger werewolf system member, younger Agony

Hunter G. (He/Him) - feral trans guy who lives in the woods or swamp, we’re not sure

Spencer (He/Him) - doesn’t really front, we post dinosaurs for him

The Westland is a largely a barren rocky place just north of The Smallest Kingdom and Undersea. The people we know so far are rather goth and have Been Through It in some way, and there is potentially a lot of mechanical stuff and dragons.

Avionx (He/Hyr) - Leviathan and King of the Westland, sleeps with a dozen mice, big on fashion

Ambrius (She/Her) - Fiery goth dragon, Kairos’s partner

Kairos/Kairon (He/Him) - is miffed our nails aren’t painted black 24/7, just some goth kid, Ambrius’s partner

Kal, Dragon of the West (He/Him) - Dragon leviathan

Damein (He/Him) - Peril’s extremely normal boyfriend

The Underworld:

This is the lower half of our innerworld which is a lot more undiscovered.

The Gardens is a small guardian/leviathan heavy subsystem where we largely only see people who are their assistance or caretakers front. Probably will not see the guardians. Note, this is very different from the traditional caretaker role in the general community.

Sion and Angora (He/Him and She/Her respectively) - caretaker of guardians, snake guy, kind of a ninja

Kellos (He/They) - goes by Kel, protector in training, Salt’s boyfriend

Loue (He/They) - pronounced Lo, chronically lost ninja, Huenn’s boyfriend

Huenn (He/Him) - not part of this subsystem, but always a part of Loue’s life.

The Three Kingdoms is a subsystem of multiple npc kingdoms that are very heavily generic but not necessarily very nice. There’s a lot of people escaping into the night and banditry which we support.

The Prince (He/Him) - archetype of the prince guy, runs a group of vigilante knights

Ward (He/Him) - a short prince for whom words are hard

Prince Salt (He/Him) - prince who’s profile pic is a slice of ham, Kel’s boyfriend

Blood (He/Him) - last prince, his aesthetic is probably what you think it is

The Crowlands is a dystopian or post-apocalyptic subsystem where things are pretty run down, though still within range of the pterodactyls apparently. Home to “The Crew.”

Ky’de (He/Him/Hirs) - runs the Crew, similar personality to Aren Kuboyasu

Grip (He/Him) - Crew member, vaguely non-human, likes Neru (music)

Tens! (He/Him) - Crew member and headband lover

The Undiscovered Kingdoms are a series of subsystems in the Underworld that we only have a hazy understanding of. Relevant people will be mentioned here until further notice.

Raiden (He/Ze/Xe/Xen) - gender and personality is bulky black skull armor

Griffin (He/Him) - firefighter who lives in a city

Charly (He/They) - rough and tumble bisexual who likes camping and savory food, runs a group of bandits

Eregus (He/They) - definitely-not-a-fictive, expert on allosexual media reading

Paint Boy (He/Him) - fully medically transitioned via paint

Cat (He/Her) - femboy fatale

Bear (He/Him) - a bear (gay)

Honorable Mentions from unspecified or unknown parts of the Dragon are:

Z (They/Them) - will not be talking much, they work from the shadows

H & A (They/Them) - package deal, simply here in a surveillance capacity

Sunbeam (He/Him) - exists. We hear drastically different things about him.

Broom (He/Him) - permanently stuck in the supply closet

Val (He/Him) - Broom with darker hair and less patience

Beetle (He/Him) - a very neurodivergent beetlefish, loves stuffed animals

Applebees (He/Him) - younger system member who loves bunny and pastels

Ms. Daisy (She/Her) - agender spirit entity with a heavy southern accent

Melon (He/Him) - younger social system member who is probably an otter

JOAN (She/He/They) - an android working in Chrellys’s haunted castle

Pop Rocks (He/Him) - Our wonderful outerworld stuffed bunny and mascot

N (She/Her) - our beautiful outerworld cat whom we love very much

A link for the Dragon Head’s faceclaims/picrews can be found here:

https://theglassdragoncollective.tumblr.com/post/683729593313771520/faces-amiright-intro-post

The Swamp/Workforce:

https://www.tumblr.com/theglassdragoncollective/700704158654791680/swamp-intro?source=share

And for the Garden House:

https://theglassdragoncollective.tumblr.com/post/688191443652755456/the-garden-house-intro

The Everwoods:

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/theglassdragoncollective/692748494086242304?source=share

The Smallest Kingdom:

https://www.tumblr.com/theglassdragoncollective/697858211840163840/the-smallest-kingdom-intro?source=share

Adarra Village:

https://www.tumblr.com/theglassdragoncollective/699086726676758528/subsystem-intro-adarra-village?source=share

We’re currently working on creating ones for our other subsystems as well, but needless to say they are works of progress. We also tag all individual intro posts or intro adjacent things under #intro post or #new headmate dropped.

We’re traumagenic ourselves, but all systems are welcome/safe. We generally want this blog to be a space to find ourselves, learn more about systems, and maybe even make some connections.

-The Glass Dragon Collective

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genderqueer-miharu

Wait...

F UCK

#woah ...

unfamiliarsculptures

An ivy covered pine marten forest spirit. This little piece will be available Friday, July 17th at 8pm Eastern time!

#art #pine marten #animals

wiimotion

T_T I wish bathroom-related disabilities weren’t still today the subject of so much baseless ableism and hatred.. When you learn that kind of shame, it can kill you. People think “it’s too embarrassing to be seen buying an enema, or to go to the ER and need a manual disimpaction. I’ll just wait this one out” and then the bowel perforates and that can kill you in no time at all. And a LOT of it is just because of the meaningless stigma surrounding something as universal and basic as.. peeing and pooping?? That’s insane! Most everyone does it! Get over yourself and stop perpetuating shame!! Knowing someone has to wear a diaper will not kill you, but the embarrassment that person feels might just kill them!!

#disability #ableism

2pen2wildfire

parents are allowed to straight-up torture their kids with zero consequences. they can withhold food and water, lock you out of shelter, confiscate your belongings, bar you from human contact, attack and harm you and exert complete control over your physical appearance. and this is just the norm. if you speak out against it you're seen as a delinquent or a predator. even otherwise progressive people get uncomfortable with the idea of dismantling the nuclear family unit because they still see it as the best way to keep kids safe when that simply couldn't be further from the truth. it's evil.

heyftinally

This is also part of why I'm so loud about homeschool reform, specifically in the USA.

In the US, there is no meaningful legal definition for educational/academic neglect in any of the 50 states or federally. What this means is that a child can be "homeschooled" and exclusively be taught how to cook and clean, reach the age of 18 being unable to read, write, or count, and this alone is not considered neglect. That 18yo, should they even have the knowledge that suing exists, has no legal grounds to sue their parents for denying them an education.

In over 40 US states, a convicted child abuser can homeschool their children. So someone who has done time for child abuse and somehow regains access to their child(ren) can decide upon returning home that they want to "homeschool" their kids. Those children are now locked in a home with their abuser where nobody can see them.

There are no welfare checks.

There are no routine assessments.

There aren't even databases — state or federal — keeping track of how many homeschooled kids there actually are.

Meaning a child can be locked in their home for their entire life with their convicted abuser, learn absolutely nothing, never go to the doctor, and so long as that child is fed, clothed, and the abuse isn't physical or sexual, that child has almost no chance of rescue and no legal ground to seek restitution if/when they escape.

The only way homeschooled children get rescued is if they're beaten, starved, or physically neglected and they're able to get the right person to see that. Otherwise? They have to wait until someone finds out they were murdered as a result of their parents "homeschooling".

And feral homeschool parents love to jump down my throat about this, and then get even more pissed when I tell them I'm a homeschool alumni.

Because I know it's not all homeschoolers. But even one is too many, and the lack of protections should scare everyone. If you're a good homeschool parent, nothing will change. If not, you deserve whatever comes your way as a result of adequate oversight.

Children deserve rights.

#child abuse

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bebsi-cola

disabled people are often in permacrisis

bebsi-cola

there's never enough money each month. there's always an unexpected illness. new symptoms pop up or old symptoms flare up. meds have to be managed always and refilled constantly and any refill has the opportunity to go wrong. any regular care has the opportunity to go wrong. any mistake can send your health spiralling. it's always "i just need to get through this bad patch" but as soon as one ends another begins. another crisis begins in the middle of the last crisis. managing one thing leaves another thing to be neglected until that becomes a major issue and has to be managed asap and the cycle starts anew over and over and over

thatdiabolicalfeminist

via prev

sunphrenia

its just boggling to me that the same people that can be so seemingly progressive just still do not fucking factor in schizophrenics as people. like, not as part of the population at all beyond their vague movie-informed caricature idea of an insane person.

the dissonance required for, say, a discord to have autism creature emojis and 30 pride flag roles only for the people in it to think schizoposting is peak humor is just fucking astonishing and yet ive witnessed that and things like it so. many. times. motherfuckers will literally have a "no ableism tolerated" rule in their forum but it never seems to apply to protect people like me

#schziophrenia #stigma #ableism

guiltfactory

your boyfriend isn't thematically significant

#life swap

nongunktional

if youve ever written a fight scene longer than like 300 words you'll have quickly discovered that there's a finite number of words to describe a Hit and 90% of your brainpower and wordhippo searches will be dedicated to squeezing out new ones

nongunktional

i think have to is a strong word but carry on i guess

theglassdragoncollective

[ID: Tag reading, "#and sometimes you'll have to write quote 'squangles his shit sillystyle' unquote which could mean anything." End ID]

#writing #funny

rylandgraces

I’ll admit I’ve sent a 👍 in my time

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that-house

i'm gonna be me forever and im gonna get really really good at it

macgyvermedical

When Drugs Became Available

Have you ever been writing some historical fiction and wondered "hey, I wonder if my characters would have been able to pop an ibuprofen in 1977?" Well, you're in luck, because this post is all about when common medications became available:

Acetaminophen: 1950

Albuterol: 1969 (UK) 1982 (US)

Allopurinol: 1966

Alprazolam: 1981

Amitriptyline: 1961

Amlodipine: 1990

Amoxicilin: 1972

Amphetamine/Dextroamphetamine (together as Adderall): 1996

Apixiban: 2012

Aripiprazole: 2002

Aspirin (first NSAID): 1899

Azidothymidine (first antiviral): 1987

Barbital (first barbiturate): 1903

Bupropion: 1985

Buspirone: 1986

Calcium Carbonate (TUMS): 1930

Captopril (first ACE inhibitor): 1981

Chlordiazepoxide (first benzodiazepine): 1960

Chlorothiazide (first thiazide diuretic): 1957

Chlorpromazine (first antipsychotic): 1952

Cyclobenzeprine: 1977

Diphenhydramine: 1946

Furosemide: 1959

Fluoxetine (first SSRI): 1988

Gabapentin: 1993

Glipizide: 1984

Hydrochlorothiazide: 1959

Ibuprofen: 1969 (UK) 1974 (US)

Insulin: 1923 (though many types of insulins would become available over the next century)

Imipramine (first tricyclic antidepressant): 1959

Iproniazid (first antidepressant (MAOI)): 1952

Levothyroxine: 1927 (though desiccated pork thyroid was used for the same reasons as early as 1890)

Lisinopril: 1987

Lithium: 1949

Losartan (first ARB): 1995

Lovastatin (first statin): 1987

Naproxen: 1976 (Rx) 1990 (OTC)

Nitrogen Mustard (first chemotherapy agent): early 1940's

Methotrexate: 1947

Methylphenidate: 1954

Metformin: 1957 (France) 1995 (US)

Metoprolol: 1978

Montelukast: 1998

Morphine: early 1800's

Omeprazole: 1989

Penicillin: 1945

Phenbezamine (first antihistamine): 1942

Prednisone: 1955

Propranolol (first beta blocker): 1965 (UK) 1967 (US)

Sertraline: 1990

Spironolactone: 1959

Sulfanilamide (first modern antibiotic): 1935

Tolbutamide (first oral anti-diabetic drug): 1956

Tramadol: 1977 (Germany) 1995 (US)

Trazodone: 1981

Valacyclovir: 1995

Verapamil (first calcium channel blocker): 1964

Warfarin: 1954

Zopiclone (first "Z-drug"): 1986

macgyvermedical

Someone asked for this list in date order, so here it is!

Morphine: early 1800's

Aspirin (first NSAID): 1899

Barbital (first barbiturate): 1903

Insulin: 1923 (though many types of insulins would become available over the next century)

Levothyroxine: 1927 (though desiccated pork thyroid was used for the same reasons as early as 1890)

Calcium Carbonate (TUMS): 1930

Sulfanilamide (first modern antibiotic): 1935

Nitrogen Mustard (first chemotherapy agent): early 1940's

Phenbezamine (first antihistamine): 1942

Penicillin: 1945

Diphenhydramine: 1946

Methotrexate: 1947

Lithium: 1949

Acetaminophen: 1950

Chlorpromazine (first antipsychotic): 1952

Iproniazid (first antidepressant (MAOI)): 1952

Methylphenidate: 1954

Warfarin: 1954

Prednisone: 1955

Tolbutamide (first oral anti-diabetic drug): 1956

Chlorothiazide (first thiazide diuretic): 1957

Metformin: 1957 (France) 1995 (US)

Furosemide: 1959

Hydrochlorothiazide: 1959

Spironolactone: 1959

Imipramine (first tricyclic antidepressant): 1959

Chlordiazepoxide (first benzodiazepine): 1960

Amitriptyline: 1961

Verapamil (first calcium channel blocker): 1964

Propranolol (first beta blocker): 1965 (UK) 1967 (US)

Allopurinol: 1966

Albuterol: 1969 (UK) 1982 (US)

Ibuprofen: 1969 (UK) 1974 (US)

Amoxicilin: 1972

Naproxen: 1976 (Rx) 1990 (OTC)

Cyclobenzeprine: 1977

Tramadol: 1977 (Germany) 1995 (US)

Metoprolol: 1978

Captopril (first ACE inhibitor): 1981

Trazodone: 1981

Alprazolam: 1981

Glipizide: 1984

Bupropion: 1985

Buspirone: 1986

Zopiclone (first "Z-drug"): 1986

Lovastatin (first statin): 1987

Azidothymidine (first antiviral): 1987

Lisinopril: 1987

Fluoxetine (first SSRI): 1988

Omeprazole: 1989

Amlodipine: 1990

Sertraline: 1990

Gabapentin: 1993

Losartan (first ARB): 1995

Valacyclovir: 1995

Amphetamine/Dextroamphetamine (together as Adderall): 1996

Montelukast: 1998

Aripiprazole: 2002

Apixiban: 2012

#writing #appreciate the lists in the different orders

thisismyspitesong

Division of labor in the home is one of the most important equity issues of our time. Yet at this rate it will be another 75 years before men do half the work.

The optimistic tale of the modern, involved dad has been greatly exaggerated. The amount of child care men performed rose throughout the 1980s and ’90s, but then began to level off without ever reaching parity. Mothers still shoulder 65 percent of child-care work. In academic journals, family researchers caution that the “culture of fatherhood” has changed more than fathers’ actual behavior.

Sociologists attribute the discrepancy between mothers’ expectations and reality to “a largely successful male resistance.” This resistance is not being led by socially conservative men, whose like-minded wives often explicitly agree to take the lead in the home. It is happening, instead, with relatively progressive couples, and it takes many women — who thought their partners had made a prenatal commitment to equal parenting — by surprise. Why are their partners failing to pitch in more?

The answer lies, in part, in the different ways that men and women typically experience unfairness. Inequality makes everyone feel bad. Studies have found that people who feel they’re getting away with something experience fear and self-reproach, while people who feel exploited are angry and resentful. And yet men are more comfortable than women with the first scenario and less tolerant than women of finding themselves with the short end of the stick. Parity is hard, and this discrepancy lays the groundwork for male resistance.

Though many men are in denial about it, their resistance communicates a feeling of entitlement to women’s labor. Men resist because it is in their “interest to do so,” write Scott Coltrane and Michele Adams, leaders in the field of family studies, in their book, “Gender and Families.” By passively refusing to take an equal role, men are reinforcing “a separation of spheres that underpins masculine ideals and perpetuates a gender order privileging men over women.”

While interviewing working parents for a book on parenthood, I spoke with one dad in Vermont who said: “The expectation among my male friends is still that they will have the life they had before having kids. My dad has never cooked a meal. I’ve strayed from that. But subconsciously, the thing that makes you motivationally step up and do something when you’re not being asked …” he trailed off, and then said: “I have justifications. It’s a cop-out.”

Take love out of the equation and focus on the workplace, and it’s clear how this plays out. Studies show that male employees sit back while their female co-workers perform the tasks that don’t lead to promotion. In a series of lab studies, the economists Lise Vesterlund, Linda Babcock and Maria Recalde and the organizational behaviorist Laurie Weingart found that in coed groups, women are 50 percent more likely than men to volunteer to take on work that no one else wants to do. But in all-male groups, the men volunteer just as readily.

In an interview with NPR, Dr. Vesterlund explained that the women do the work “because they’re expected to.” The men “come into the room, they see the women, they know how we play these games.”

We play the same games at home. I interviewed couples separately and found that the women were often angry, while many men didn’t seem to realize there was a problem.

The couples offered three explanations for this labor imbalance. The first was that women take over activities like bedtime, homework and laundry because men perform these tasks inadequately. But this isn’t “maternal gatekeeping,” the theory that men want to help but women disparage their capabilities and push them out. Instead these seem to be situations that necessitate the intervention of a reasonable adult.

A mother in California said: “It’s important to me that my sons are not falling asleep in class and that they’re not late for school. My husband does not share those priorities, so I do bedtime and school drop-off.”

The dad in Vermont explained: “I do laundry when I need it. When it comes to the kids’ laundry, I could be more proactive, but instead I operate on my time scale. So my wife does most of their laundry. Let me do it my way and I’m happy to do it, but if you’re going to tell me how to do it, go ahead and do it yourself.”

The second explanation involved forgetting or obliviousness. A mother in Illinois said: “My husband is a participatory and willing partner. He’s not traditional in terms of ‘I don’t change diapers.’ But his attention is limited.” She added, “I can’t trust him to do anything, to actually remember.”

A dad in San Francisco said that many of the tasks of parenting weren’t important enough to remember: “I just don’t think these things are worth attending to. A certain percentage of parental involvement that my wife does, I would see as valuable but unnecessary. A lot of disparity in our participation is that.”

Finally, some men blamed their wives’ personalities. A San Diego dad said his wife did more because she was so uptight. “She wakes up on a Saturday morning and has a list. I don’t keep lists. I think there’s a belief that if she’s not going to do it, then it won’t get done.” (His wife agreed that this was true, but emphasized that her belief was based on experience: “We fell into this easy pattern where he learned to be oblivious and I learned to resent him.”)

A father in Portland, Ore., confirmed that his wife takes on more but said: “It has to do with her personality. She always has to stay busy. No matter what day of the week it is, she has a need to be engaged, to be doing something.”

Many mothers told me they had tried to change this and had aired their grievances with their partners, only to watch as nothing changed. A mother in Queens said she spent three years trying to get her husband to do more before coming to terms with the fact that maybe it was never going to happen. “He notices the unfairness, but he just accepts it as something we have a disagreement about,” she said. “How much convincing of the other person can you do?”

All this comes at a cost to women’s well-being, as mothers forgo leisure time, professional ambitions and sleep. Wives who view their household responsibilities “as unjust are more likely to suffer from depression than those who do not,” one study says. When their children are young, employed women (but not men) take a hit to their health as well as to their earnings — and the latter never recovers. Child-care imbalances also tank relationship happiness, especially in the early years of parenthood.

Division of labor in the home is one of the most important gender-equity issues of our time. Yet at the current rate of change, MenCare, a group that promotes equal involvement in caregiving, estimates that it will be about 75 more years before men worldwide assume half of the unpaid work that domesticity requires.

If anything is going to change, men have to stop resisting. Gendered parenting is kept alive by the unacknowledged power bestowed upon men in a world that values their needs, comforts and desires more than women’s. It’s up to fathers to cop to this, rather than to cop out.

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blue hero

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#merkats #animals #undescribed

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magical-soup

There is no such thing as “the evil kill-people disorder that makes you kill people”; it has always been a myth made up by demonization to sell more ableism.

pyrose-the-flame

"the evil abuse-people disorder that makes you abuse people" is also a myth, no matter what people on TikTok try to tell you

#mental health #ableism #sanism #stigma

timegears-moved-deactivated2025

twilight princess funniest zelda game ever made

timegears-moved-deactivated2025

one of the reoccurring minor plots is that a 3 year old with the mental capacity of an adult is trying to abolish capitalism in the big city. there's a yeti couple living in an abandoned mansion and the guy yeti is like 10 times the size of and more visibly monstrous than the girl yet they made him a malewife. you can collect insects for a little girl that is insane about them and gives you strange and off-putting dialogue about each bug everytime you give her one and practically threatens you if you try to leave her home without giving her bugs she doesn't have yet. one of the modes of transportation in this game is being shot out of a giant canon by a depressed clown and landing on your feet with no injuries. there's a spaghetti western style minigame where the objective is to talk to 20 different cats. a chicken attempts to flirt with link. they made tingle into a sexyman caricature.

timegears-moved-deactivated2025

i completely forgot about ooccoo while making this post. this fucking thing:

timegears-moved-deactivated2025

and, of course, her son too

poikaboo

{ID - two screenshots of Twilight Princess; 1 - Link holding Ooccoo -- a strange long necked chicken-like creature with a human face. 2 - Ooccoo's son, an orb with a human face and two small wings END ID}

#legend of zelda #twilight princess

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