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THIS MACHINE BITES BIGOTS OF ANY KIND
If you are going to be Acephobic, Transphobic, or weird about people with non-traditional identities, OR take issue with the discussion of Social Justice/Activism: LEAVE. I am not interested in bad-faith arguments.
THIS ACCOUNT DOES PERFORMATIVE INFORMATION SHARING. I FOLLOW UP WITH CAUSES THAT RESONATE WITH ME PRIVATELY.
FANDOMS: Tolkien, Dungeons & Dragons (Baldur's Gate 3, Legends of Avantris), Fallout (Video Games), Conclave (film + book), Team Starkid + The Tin Can Bros, The Hunger Games
SPECIAL INTERESTS: Film and Video Game Industry, Acting (Plays, Roleplay, Film, Musicals), History, Politics, Sewing/Costuming, Marketing, Emergency Medicine
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I usually go by Jericho in online spaces
They/Them She/Her He/Him Pronouns <3 Ace and Queer! (Genderqueer and Generally-queer ayoooo)
Former History Major with an interest in Politics, Ancient Civ, and the US's Founding. Currently on a Sabbatical and pursuing a Media Production degree. Recreational Actor (Stage/Voice/Screen) and Streamer. Interest in Film and Stage Tech!
Chronically and Mentally Ill and loud about it (Chronic Pain/Mobility Issues and ADHD/PTSD/OCD)
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I think it’s really weird there are ppl who buy a new phone every year. I will use a phone until it’s unusable. Even if it wasn’t wasteful and ppl weren’t dying to mine those minerals and metals I still wouldn’t get a new one every year bc I’m frankly lazy. Why are you doing the whole “set up a new phone” bullshit every year. Hello.
the problem with tumblr spells is all of you lil sluts are casting and not giving it time to charge so you're all casting cantrips and not 9th level death spells. everyone wants to be the one to take them down no one wants to be the one who assists
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I forgot how much I loved Antigone both the story and the character and it's because Antigone is an example of a female character where she barely thinks of marriage and kids and indeed prioritizes it far beneath family and honor.
She embodies ideas that are typically reserved for what society considers "masculine." She's allowed a soldier's mindset. Country, Piety (Filial and Divine), Fraternity, Freedom, all of these rank above her longing for children or a husband. It does not cross her mind until she is about to die and even then it is more a mark of how young she is than it is a regret. She even goes as far to say that she would never have done what she did for a husband or a child because they can be replaced, she cannot replace her brother.
I don't know, as someone who has never felt any interest in marriage or children, who also values family and country and honor and fraternity and freedom above those things, as someone who was socialized female and still navigates the world as such most of the time (both by my own choice and for safety), it's exceedingly fulfilling to see such a mindset depicted in a character that isn't male. Especially in an ancient.
I very rarely have found a female character who doesn't somewhere in the text struggle with marriage and the want (or express disinterest which is pushed back against by the narrative or other characters) of children. Antigone is celebrated or admonished for her rashness not her lack of perceived femininity.
It is her perceived femininity that causes Creon to underestimate her. She ascends that artificial box that people try to define her by, to restrict her actions within. She exists as a person with feelings that are human and undefined by gender. Her rage isn't "feminine". Her life isn't defined by her gender. She is. And she is allowed to be.
It's a character type I struggle to find anywhere else. Shakespeare's women are constantly dealing with this, which is why I tend to swing for male roles. Even the ones that desire power, like Lady Macbeth, are couched within the context of their husbands and oftentimes struggle with the want or need for children.
I'm just tired of male characters being the only people who experience these sorts of things. We are all human. These aren't "masculine" experiences, they belong to all of humanity.
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Final thoughts
Sorry for the gender binary of it all but my experience with queer art is much more nuanced than I can manage to express in this and additionally is still not proportional in terms of representation as it should be.
Additionally, before I get comments about my gender identity, I'm Genderqueer and I'm comfortable within that label. I don't reject femininity I just don't align with the marriage and kids part of it society has affixed to it and I think I pretty heavy handedly proved I'm tired of the rejection of that being THE main plot point for female characters. Additionally, I don't want to be a man, trust me I've done the thought experiments when I was figuring out my identity. I'm a human being. As I said in a YouTube comment once, my gender identity is the belief that we as humans are all equals, free to choose how we perform our gender.
This is also NOT a bashing of female characters who want children or husbands or the traditional roles assigned to them, this is me wanting more representation of how I and others experience the world. The thoughts can coexist.
Y’all know that I’m into ancient Roman history and I do a lot of research on it but even though I should be used to it by now sometimes I read an anecdote about how an individual slave was treated and I’m hit with the realization that like a third of the population was living like that and I just need to put my head in my hands for a second
Emperor Hadrian randomly stabbed a slave in the eye in a fit of rage and he was supposedly unusually sympathetic to slaves.
There’s other instances of people randomly punching slaves that they didn’t even know because they got in their way or something. This was just normal behavior.
And slaves didn’t rebel en masse because if even one slave committed an act of violent rebellion it was common practice to kill every slave and former slave in the household.
People only took notice for posterity when these mass executions got into the hundreds of people. One of the few recorded for the history books is of over 400 people being killed because one guy stabbed his enslaver.
Like how many people throughout history were beaten to death because some rich asshole was angry and there was no legal or social consequences for doing so? We don’t know.
When you study ancient history you’re reminded that slavery has never once been kind or justified. It just takes on different forms of evil in every time and place that it infects.
I can never take those "maid and princess" kink scenarios as intended because every time I see one I get a vivid mental image of a scenario where owing to a series of bizarre miscommunications each is convinced they're the one taking sexual advantage of the other.
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I've been meaning to make a post talking about my stroke because y'all got bits and pieces of the recovery but I never actually told the story of HOW it went down and the thing is the type of stroke I had is usually the type young people have and since having mine i've now heard multiple stories of people under 40 having very similar strokes and the scary thing is, is that they didn't get help right away. Because you're young and healthy and sure you feel weird but it'll pass right? but it doesn't, and it gets worse, and by the time you get to the hospital (some people literally take days to go) the deficits are worse and recovery is harder.
so here's a super long post about strokes in general, and mine in particular/what I went through.
So for strokes the signs are abbreviated BE FAST. Balance loss, Eyesight changes, Face drooping, Arm weakness, Speech difficulty, -> Time to call 911.
Had I known those MAYBE I would have figured it out but my symptoms were a little mixed. I was reading (fanfic!) in bed because it was a sunday morning and i had nothing pressing to do and suddenly got dizzy. I put my laptop aside because my eyes were blurring (Eyesight changes - symptom #1), and laid down, thinking it would pass, it didn't, it's a little vague how it progressed because I'd been having headaches and neckpain for about 3 weeks leading up to it so I was like 'idk is this a migraine?' (headaches can be a stroke symptom so symptom #2) but i got nauseous and eventually got up and to my utmost surprise I immediately fell over as if I was the drunkest of frat bros. The room literally spun before my eyes as I fell to the floor (Balance loss - symptom #3). I have had some Nights and I had never been that unsteady before. I crawled my way to the bathroom, threw up (nausea - not a common stroke symptom) , took 800mg of ibuprofen, and crawled back to bed.
if you know anything about ibuprofen you might know it's a mild blood thinner and that's a high dose. I may have inadvertently helped myself with that one. I was just feeling like shit and thinking 'idk this might help'
At this point I still thought we were still in Normal Land. Sure, it was a weird morning, but Surely There Was A Reason. (Yes There Was) Anyway, as I'm lying there willing my body to stop suffering I realize my arm is going numb (stroke symptom #4) and I switch positions, because weird, but it doesn't go away, and I gave it a good little while. I'm on a medication that can make my limbs tingle but it usually just does it to my fingers and it dissipates quickly but this wasn't dissipating, and then I realized one of my legs was also going numb. Then one side of my face is going numb.
(at the time I did not look in the mirror but I had a drooping eyelid - symptom #5)
Those all seem bad. I grab my computer and google 'when to go to the hospital for dizzyness' as that felt like the worst of my problems. and indeed the list I found highlighted that if you are also experiencing loss of balance, blurred vision, nausea, and limb numbness, you should see a doctor. That seems like far too many symptoms to be having all to be listed. I grab my phone (thankfully plugged in and by my bed), and start layering on more clothing because it's about 10 degrees out and i'm in a pajama dress. The very nice man at 911 talks with me and sends an ambulance, I tell him I don't think I can get out the front door of my building on my own and he asks if I can get to MY apartment door to which I say yes and he assures me that's fine they will have keys to my building.
(I have been since informed they love to chop down doors but no, I could get that far)
I wait by my door laying down on the ground and they arrive pretty quickly. They see to me in the hallway, which is more of a lobby in my building and the only place with room for me to lie down (I cannot stand unassisted at this point) they ask me a bunch of questions, take vitals, and ask me where I would like to be taken. Me, having never had to go to the fucking hospital in an emergency before, simply go 'wherever is close' because I again, I am having a stroke and do not have the wherewithal to think through these things.
A big firefighter helps me down the stairs (it's only a half flight and I still almost did not make it) and we get underway.
At the hospital they wheel me into triage and I mostly lie there gratefully and answer some questions and respond to some tests (grip strength, following a pen with my eyes, that sort of thing) and then I hear what is great when you've been at urgent care for two hours but what is Very Bad when you just arrived in an ambulance and that's 'She's next'. I jumped the line for a CT scan and an MRI. I was there less than ten minutes before I was actively being scanned. honestly closer to five.
my active symptoms seem to have been worse than some of the stories I've heard, not being able to walk AT ALL in particular, although some other are pretty equal (Footless Jo on youtube had a stroke around the same time I did of the same type and has discussed hers, she delayed going in despite the severity for a variety of reasons and it sounds like her recovery has been difficult) My recovery was pretty easy because i was actively being cared for and on blood thinners right away. I was pretty out of it in the beginning, but I was only in the hospital for 6 days and then in a rehab for another 4 to relearn how to walk and balance, then i was released unto the world and just spent time going to physical therapy and recovering for awhile. I was out of work for about 8 weeks total. I basically had the best outcome for a stroke. I recovered almost fully back to 100% (I'm about 2% less sure footed than I used to be, but it's rarely noticeable), my face still feels a little weird but has markedly improved so I live in hope it will eventually get back to normal. It massively sucked. But strokes can fuck you up for life and I came out a weird medical story to tell and have to take some extra medication now/precautions to take (i cannot do certain types of yoga, no weightlifting, no push ups, no going on rollercoasters.... things that could strain my neck essentially) but overall I escaped very lucky.
For anyone who has ever had covid before, please be sure you are aware of stroke symptoms. Each successive infection raises the risk in a pretty major way, and a lot of people are dying young due to not knowing these signs or being afraid to act on them. Please take care of yourselves.
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