The Everything Advice Blog

This blog has been put through many transformations by myself and all of the other admins who  put a lot of work into answering your questions for 3+ years. We had a lot of fun and I think we helped a lot of people. 

I am taking many new steps in my life now and am very different from the naive 17 year old who started this blog. After completing my master’s degree in marketing, I am moving away from my hometown and starting a new life and a new job. All of the struggles I’ve faced and all of the victories I’ve had throughout the years I have been a part of this blog have cultivated me to become the person I am today: an exuberant 23 year old who feels she is taking the right step into the next phase of her life. 

As I take that next step, I want to let all of our remaining followers know that this will be my last post on this blog. There’s been a lot of tough love between us, but also a lot of support as we have faced setbacks throughout the years this blog was active. I truly wish you all well, especially all of the people who have taken the time out of their lives to work as an admin for me. 

Love always, 

Will you let me know what you think of my video

*This is coming from someone who has a scholarship to sing in two performance choir groups in college*

Hello, I’m a 20 y/o girl looking for some relationship advice. This may be a bit long, so I appreciate any insight you can give! So, my bf and I have been dating for over two years and we have a strong, trusting, loving relationship, though I’ve come to understand that we show love in different ways. I’m more overt (saying it/showing him physically) whereas he shows me through loving gestures. Which is okay, it just means I tend to be a little more affectionate than he is. Therefore I’m very kissy and snuggly, not in a PDA way, just when we hang out together with nothing else to do I usually end up in the mood. And because I’m a bit more affectionate than he is we sometimes run into issues where he’s not in the mood and I am (which is sometimes disappointing, but I obviously don’t pressure him). Or where he feels like my desire to have sex/make out/snuggle gets in the way of getting things done. I try never to be inconvenient about it, but I feel like he’s often thinking about the next place he has to go or next task he has to do when I just want to lay together or something. I love that he’s responsible in that way, but I sometimes wish I was more captivating for him. Anyway, I recently returned from being abroad and after a few months apart I asked him if theres any way I can be a better girlfriend (just regrouping a bit). And I was very upset to hear him say (not harshly, but still) that he sometimes wishes I wouldn’t be so lovey dovey. Like I said, I try not to pressure him or be inconvenient but I guess the affection can be a bit burdensome? Of course I show love in other ways too but I just love being physical together. Especially because we’ve both been abroad, we have spent a lot of time apart recently, and he’s commissioning in the spring (and will probably be moving cross country) so I cherish the time when we can be physically close. Of course when we are intimate he enjoys it (its great! About 2 times a week when we’re together at college) but after he made that comment I feel like I have to lay off, which hurts because its such a big part of my personality. He saw how it hurt me and apologized the next day, saying he should be grateful to have someone so loving, but I can’t help but think that he still feels that way. I want my love to be appreciated but I also want to change if I’m in the wrong. Since its bothering me I brought it up again and he assured me again that he doesn’t want me to change, but I’m almost certain he’s just sparing my feelings. Which is also unsettling because I would hate for him to just be putting up with it for me, because intimacy is only good when both parties are into it. And I want him to continue being honest, even if its not what I want to hear. And while I want to change if should, I’m also a little concerned because we’re only 20 and 21 years old. While my sex drive may be a little over the top (hardly?) I’m worried that if he’s turning me away now, what will he be like when we’re older? Even worse? Of course I’m cautious of holding him to the stereotype that college guys are horny ALL the time, because thats not fair, but I’d at least like him to choose me over work every once and a while. It kind of hurts a girls self esteem when she can’t get a 21 y/o dude in the mood. So, sorry for such a long post, but I just want to know if I’m being overbearing or under appreciated. Thank you!

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Hey, girl!

I don’t think you’re ready for the tough love but: stop kicking the damn sand. No one likes it. No one wants sand in their eyes/hair/on their body. 

Should your friend have rubbed your face in the sand? No. Definitely not. This whole situation is immature and should never have occurred. Your friend has every right to be mad. You have every right to be upset. But neither of you should have acted as you did. 

This is a slightly confusing ask, but I will do my best to answer it. 

I think sex is a very intimate experience that can bring certain emotions to the surface whether or not you want to fee them. I think many other people have experienced crying or being emotional after sex with someone who you care deeply about. Sex is an emotional experience you are sharing with another person. It can be overwhelming and that’s okay. 

I don’t know you well enough to be able to dig deep into your emotions and try to help you really figure out what is going on. Say, if you were my best friend I probably would be able to help you understand yourself better. But know that it is totally okay to cry afterwards or during. Let yourself feel all of the emotions—there’s a good reason for it even if you don’t know the reason yet. 

By the way, it’s probably not a panic attack unless you’re feeling extreme anxiety. A panic attack and crying are too very different things.

(there is one person sitting between us) and I´ve been catching him bending forward to look around the girl between us and stare at me. I don´t know what he wants from me and I want to find out, especially bc he has a girlfriend. I had a kinda big crush on him in the beginning of this year but didn´t try anything bc of his girlfriend. We´re going on a class trip next week and I´m kinda looking forward to seeing what he will do there haha. Do you have any advice on this situation? :-)

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My advice is to NOT overstep boundaries with him. He should not be looking at you or flirting with you if he has a girlfriend. That would hurt her very much. Personally, I would ignore him because I don’t play games with boys who are in relationships. 

I will admit, that was very rude of your grandma. Perhaps, your family was upset you didn’t try to see them when you grabbed things from your house before heading to your boyfriend’s? It was probably a hasty decision because you wanted to see him, but it could have hurt their feelings if you were at home and did not make an effort to see them right away. 

Maybe next time you should give them a call prior to coming home and arrange a time to see your family so they don’t feel left out. 

I’m not really sure how else to respond because you did not ask a question. I know you are hurt, and I’m sorry about that, but it seems like you may have hurt your family’s feelings as well. Sometimes you have to suck it up and apologize even if you’re hurt yourself. 

You should really confront both the friend who is spreading rumors and your guy friend. You need to tell the friend who is lying about your feelings to quit it because it’s messing up your relationship with other people. 

Also, tell your guy friend that it’s just a rumor and you just want to be friends with him. Straighten out the truth and it shouldn’t be an issue!