Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder

Hello! I believe its been a year and a half since I’ve been on Tumblr at all, nevermind updating this blog. Its been so long, in fact, that I considered not posting anything about this but I decided I should because there’s always the chance that there are a few followers who would appreciate the update.

I have been through an enormous amount of change in just the past year alone, and part of that change was making the recent decision to abstain from social media. I am 26 now and 100% plan to go into my 30s without worrying about the toxicity that comes with sm usage. I have been slowly deleting all my accounts and saving Tumblr for last only because it means leaving this part of my life “behind.”

I’ve closed the ask and submission boxes. I’m keeping up links to my resource pages (quit tips and “Do I have MD?”) on the front of the blog. I have left most of the questions and submissions/answers that have already been posted.

I have decided to delete my personal blog and just “leave” this one rather than delete it. I believe that will keep it up because Blair’s account is still attached to the blog. Whether or not Blair decides to continue or delete will be their decision and I honestly don’t mind either way. There are so many great sources for madd support on Tumblr now so I’m honestly not worried about this blog other than for nostalgia reasons. (Also, Blair if you read this!: I still have an old Instagram account to delete so you’ll most likely receive a message with my email/number before I’m gone for good.<3)

Anyways, I have to thank you all before I go. I was going through old posts tonight and there are a lot of people who have thanked me over the years but I don’t think I’ve thanked you all nearly enough. You’ve helped me so much more than you’ll ever know. I started this blog at such a significant time, my most vulnerable college years, and so many of you carried me through my worst nights. It seems so silly but leaving this blog behind (for good) is one of the hardest and most significant things for me. But its also just one of those things where you know its time to go. Good luck everyone! Please take care of yourselves, because you’re all worth it.

-K

Thats a good question.

I suppose the difference would be as simple as “obsessive reading” versus “obsessive daydreaming”. Anything can become an obsession and any obsession is unhealthy. Thats why theres always an underlying problem (even if that problem is OCD itself), people tend to go towards obsessions when they are trying to cope with a certain issue in their lives. It gets tough because people focus so strongly on their obsession that they aren’t even getting to the real root of the problem. I’m always trying to remind daydreamers who come to me that its not even so much about strictly defining their daydreaming as it is recognizing their behavior is unhealthy and makes them feel uncomfortable enough to look for answers. Definitions certainly help to an extent but when its more of a symptom than something that can be properly diagnosed, you have to do the best you can to see the bigger picture.

Every obsession also comes with its specific downfalls. For example obsessive reading could give people constantly dry and tired eyes whereas obsessive daydreaming can be accompanied by dizziness and weakness especially if someone paces or physically exerts themselves while daydreaming.

People cannot be diagnosed with MD yet as its not officially recognized as a disorder in the DSM. My suggestion would be to just explain that you find yourself daydreaming/looking for escape a lot, or maybe just that you’re having trouble coping with reality. These are general but serious statements and they leave out all the details. Your doctor would most likely refer you to a therapist, or you could directly ask for a referral to one and keep the details minimal but sufficient. With a therapist, the details would be more relevant.

People cannot be diagnosed with MD yet as its not officially recognized as a disorder in the DSM. But MD always has an underlying cause be it depression, anxiety, trauma, personality disorders, etc. Therapists will most likely work with their patients to get to the root of the daydreaming and work on fixing that instead.

There are so many people who come to me saying their parents are brushing off their problems and that is so upsetting to me. I really don’t understand it. Have you asked her about the possibility of therapy? It doesn’t have to completely surround your daydreaming and it probably won’t. It shouldn’t even be a problem, once a week or every other week, if you’re on insurance it will most likely cover some form of therapy.

Good luck! <3

(2/2) music makes me daydream a LOT. and it makes me feel the urge to walk around my house but i can't because my mom will make fun of me so i just get up for water (10 times a minute lmao). also, i daydream about myself in very sad situations. idk why. i hate this habit of mine because it makes me feel unproductive and i'm sure my mom won't let me go to a therapist. but if i go will a therapist make fun of me? sorry for the rant and thank you for making this blog. really, thank you so much. 

You can always check out my page “Do I have MD?” if you aren’t sure.

I’ve had daydreams I considered embarrassing and I’ve heard from other daydreamers who feel the same way. The content and feelings associated with daydreaming can vary in so many different ways. Your reasoning also makes a lot of sense its good that you’ve tapped into that feeling and can recognize it.

A therapist will never make fun of you. If you are ever in a position to take advantage of therapy I would suggest trying out a few therapists and telling them straight up that you haven’t settled on one yet. That way you can always chose the one that makes you feel the most comfortable. But a therapist should never make fun of you.

And you’re welcome. :) I’m glad you’ve found it useful!

It’s not crazy! You’ve certainly come to the right spot, because there are a ton of daydreamers on Tumblr who feel the same way.

I’m so sorry to hear about your frustration. You definitely are not alone with the feelings you’ve shared. Its good that even in all this frustration, you’ve identified one thing that helps you control your MD. Its never perfect at first if you are trying to make changes, but it does get easier. I’ll leave you the link to my quit tips page incase you haven’t seen it yet. Here it is.

Well, I base all my opinions on the experience I’ve personally had as well as some of the experiences I’ve heard. In my experience, I have yet to live a life truly “free” from daydreaming. But when I picture free I picture never slipping into dreams and I feel that’s a bit unrealistic to expect considering how many years this has been my normal. I still consider myself as having quit MD but everyday I slip into a few daydreams or flashes of daydreams and have to pull myself out. As far as the experiences of others, I’ve heard people say they don’t daydream or even have the urge to daydream anymore and I really do think it’s possible. I don’t think it should be the necessary goal though, tbh, especially first going into quitting. I think pulling yourself out of daydreams is really good as well.

Hi, I’m so happy to find this blog. I’m 22 years old and I’ve had md for many years. Getting older and becoming a responsible adult makes md an even bigger problem than before. It frustrates me so much that quitting this addiction is so hard. For me this habit is very negative. I neglect myself, and don’t work on my dreams and goals. It’s kind of like being on autopilot, and feeling like you’re not really alive. I just feel scared of facing reality and I’m scared of feeling depressed or disappointed. I don’t really know what I’m running from but when I go without daydreaming for a few days I always get depressed and crave daydreaming. And then one little daydream and I am pretty much back to square one. I’ve suffered from depression, anxiety and low self-esteem, and md prevents me from dealing with these issues and I’m just stuck in the same situation. It’s amazing to find that other people deal with the same things and that makes me more motivated and hopeful to keep trying to get better.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. This is another one I relate to a lot, you describe the feeling so perfectly. If it makes you feel better, the fear of living without daydreaming cannot and does not last forever. You just have to keep trying.

I don’t know if any of you watch Bojack Horseman but its honestly one of my favorite shows and this scene has been so inspiring to me while trying to both quit daydreaming and recover in general: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2_Mn-qRKjA Just replace running with facing reality. (;

Thats a great question! Haha, I suppose thats up to you to decide. :) I always go on about quitting bc I’m very pro-reality now but I wouldn’t tell someone they have to automatically quit when they find out about MD. I would definitely tell your therapist though, just incase there comes a time where you need to talk about it more in depth. They will also give you ideas on where you can go from here.

The best suggestion I can give is to monitor it, write about how it makes you feel, be honest about the good and bad parts though thats really important. Try to learn from the content of your daydreams Learn about yourself, what you want, (only the healthy stuff).

I’m not gonna lie, there will most likely come a time where it is really showing its negative side especially as you get older, so I guess the smartest option until then would just be to educate yourself for when that time comes. Try controlling it more as you see fit and just be prepped incase you ever do want/need to quit.

Hello! I came across the term MD when I was around sixteen years old. I was just fed up because I knew I was doing this strange thing and I didn’t want to feel like the only one in the world doing it anymore, I just didn’t know what to call it. So I spent a few hours one night on Google looking up every term, every possible thing I could explain and all I could find was “fantasy proneness” which was relevant but it didn’t feel exact. Luckily for me it was a wiki page and the related wiki was maladaptive daydreaming disorder which sounded exact. I started crying but I think it was just because I was so happy to know I wasn’t alone.

At the time I had just made a Tumblr and one of the first things I did was search the maladaptive daydreaming tag, but there were no results! Then after a few months people started posting in the tag. One of those people being Blair actually, who has helped me run this blog in the past and I still consider them a part of this blog. :D

But man I feel old because now the MD community on Tumblr is absolutely huge.

Personally, I’m sure it happens but I haven’t heard from one person who’s been specifically diagnosed with “maladaptive daydreaming disorder”, I’ve told my therapist about it and she believes me and listens without correcting me when I talk about MD but she hasn’t diagnosed me with anything past severe anxiety issues. I also personally think MD always has an underlying “thing” whether that be anxiety, depression, ptsd, personality disorders, etc and it’s probably best to just be diagnosed and treated for that underlying thing at the end of the day. Daydreaming is just the symptom of the problem, and it causes a major distraction which I believe is the reason people go to it in the first place. Now I’m saying all this from my personal viewpoint and experiences.

But I guess what I’m trying to say is that whether or not the diagnoses is actually there, it’s worth it to look deeper at whatever daydreaming issues you find yourself experiencing. With or without the diagnoses (self or otherwise) you are sensing a problem that needs personal reflection and maybe even a plan.

I understand not having access to professional care and I hope somehow you’ll be able to find a solution (I wish I could be a better source for that) but my best advice for you now would be to put the idea of any diagnoses aside and work with yourself to try to find the root of the daydreaming. Perhaps the root is something you will feel better openly sharing with parents or friends. And while I agree self diagnoses is a slippery slope there are still always communities online where you can find helpful information. That’s a great question but certainly a tough one to answer. I hope I helped somehow.

Thank you for the input! Much appreciated :)

Absolutely! What you’re explaining is something a lot of people refer to as “triggers”. Triggers can be different for everyone but they mostly revolve around music, images, and other forms of media. I think its really great that you want to look into this topic and research before you come to any conclusions. Also talking to your therapist sounds like a great idea. I’m not sure what the status is on therapists knowing about maladaptive daydreaming but I’m sure they will be of great use to you.

I’d say its possible. But I will also refer you to my Do I have MD? page if you’re interested in trying to break the topic down further. A lot of people like to say they also daydream or “Everybody daydreams.” because a lot of people don’t understand how deep daydreaming can actually go. So other people may not always be the best source for comparison.

When I was younger, I was a hardcore maladaptive daydreamer with straight A’s and I’ve almost always felt uncomfortable daydreaming in public/around people. I found it still affected my life in negative ways and made me feel uncomfortable enough for it to be a “thing”. I think a good place to go from would be this question - If I stopped daydreaming all together, how would it affect me? If you find it would make you feel very uncomfortable than its probably a maladaptive or addictive situation.