Caspar Anderson

PM] Thanks. Yeah, well, like I just said, find something else that makes you feel relaxed. Jesus, it’s like talking to a child. How many times do I have to repeat myself? Just, take up some other hobbies instead. It’s not hard. It’s LA.

Not for this week no, you need to get back into a appropriate state of health until you’ll be allowed to partake in rehearsals. Sorry, it’s not my rules.

(PM) I’ll see what I can find I guess... 

I’m suppose to be teaching you guys the choreography for the musical... Otherwise you guys won’t know any of the dances..

PM] No it’s fine. I got people taking care of me. Thanks anyway. It’s not /just/ the food. It’s the workouts too. Three times a day is excessive. You only get to go three times a week. That’s it. Blaine goes that many times a week and I stop in every Wednesday. Pick someone to go with. Then no-more. If you’re bored then go for a walk, play video games, do something else, go help at a puppy shelter if you have to.

Originally posted by 365daysinalife

(PM) Alright, hope you feel better soon. I like going to the gym, it makes me feel relaxed... Three times a week?! That’s... That’s something that I will have to really think about... I’m used to doing it so frequently. I’ll try and get someone to go with though, that’s a good idea. I’m still allowed to do rehearsals, right...?

PM] We’ll do that when you’re actually on the road to recovery. I’m sick at the moment, sorry. I can’t do much at the moment except meeting Mom. I’ll make you a deal, if you can make some /actual/ progress by the end of the week then we’ll go on a bike ride through Venice Beach to start off with.

Originally posted by brendonuries

(PM) You’re sick...? Do you need anything? Okay, that seems like a fair deal... I think my main problem is the food part if I’m honest, it doesn’t matter about me working out, because I’ve always done some sort of workouts.

PM] Yes, they do, but you also have to have some initiative too. They’re not here to spoonfeed you. You’re a big boy now, Caspar. You think I didn’t go through that? Welcome to the fucked up world of Hollywood kid, we’re not all PC over here. I’ve had drugs shoved in my face then told to suck it up and get on stage. Nobody gives a fuck about your mental or physical health.

Welcome to Hollywood, I hope you enjoy your stay. Still jealous?

…….I haven’t seen you in 5 years, I didn’t know how you looked to start with. 

See yes, you apologise, but they become absolutely meaningless when you turn round to me and tell me I was nothing and that I am worthless. Contradictions.

Clearly not hard enough.

(PM) I’m not jealous anymore Coop.

Guess that makes sense... I did say in the hospital that I was willing to get help from you and Blaine.. Are you guys still willing to help? I’m not going to anyone else for it.

That’s how I felt 5 years ago, not now.

PM] That’s the way it’s going to go. Get your shit together or they’ll be reconsidering your contract with the company. You’ve done nothing and you’ve been here for longer than three weeks. I’m tired of it Caspar.

Yes, you’re considerably underweight. Yet you’re still obsessed with losing weight. Can you not just see that logic? If you actually look at the charts and shit for this things then there’s not a lot that’s wrong with your weird, there hasn’t ever been a problem. I can’t tell you what to do, only you can do that.

No it’s not and that’s something I’ve told you. My problems have never been about you, you just pulled a shitty move at my worst time. Yeah and it would have been nice if my brother hadn’t ignored me for five years but y’know. We can’t always get what we want can we? You only have yourself to blame.

If you don’t have an answer or a valid reason then you don’t have an excuse to be doing it so I suggest you wise up and stop. Take some time to actually think.

(PM) That’s because I’ve been waiting for jobs to be thrown my way, I thought that was what an agency did, gets you jobs. You can’t discriminate against me, that’s like me saying you can’t do it because of your anxiety.

I don’t feel like I’m underweight though, I feel fine, I don’t feel any different. Do I look different...?

I’ve apologised many times for my actions, which I will continue to do. All I can do now though is just to regain your trust. I understand what I did wrong, and I know it was shitty of me to do what I did. 

I do think..

Cooper flinched when his brother smacked his leg before grinning at him, “Hey, I said it first,” he quipped back before settling a little as he lent into the soft leather. There was a lot going through his head at that moment. What Caspar was thinking, what Blaine was thinking, where Robbie had gone, did his Mom know about this, what he’d have to do when he got in, would he have to cancel with Sage, was he safe in the hospital, did they know about his assessment, would that go well, what if he had to stay over, would Robbie be allowed to stay? Cooper’s mind always went at a hundred miles an hour over the daftest things.

He was there, he’d made the effort to even show his face. He’d been supportive when his brother had been an asshole to him in the recent years of their life. In truth, their problems could have been sorted a lot quicker by now, Cooper operated on trust, it was simple really, prove you’re trustworthy. In reality, it showed Cooper just how little his brother actually knew of him.

Swinging his leg idly as he glanced back at the door to check for Robbie, expecting food to arrive at any minute which might settle his mood. He heard Caspar and rolled his eyes with a sigh. “I’m not saying it to be a dick, but just look around, you’re in the fucking hospital. Don’t give me that, it’s not that bad shit,” he huffed softly. “What next? You gonna tell me it’s a little bad when you’re six feet under in a coffin? Yeah. Wise up, Caspar. It’s not good at all. If you’re doing this to yourself then you might need to go to a rehabilitation center.”

“I’m not saying this to be a dick, I’m honestly not. But I’m not gonna sit by until it’s too late,” he shrugged softly. “Truth hurts like a bitch, suck it up.” His intentions were more for his mother, he knew he didn’t want her to deal with this, he didn’t want that stress put on her. From what he knew it had been a constant battle Pamela had tried to support Caspar with. He didn’t want to put that strain on her. There was no-one Cooper loved more than his mother. He’d do all he could to keep her safe and give her an easy life, even if it meant taking on the problems himself and trying to fix them. He’d always do his best.

Blaine stayed quiet as his older brother spoke, staring at a spot on the floor as he simultaneously tried to listen to Cooper and register that Caspar was sitting in a hospital bed and still trying to tell them that everything was okay. He didn’t expect an instant acceptance of help, by any means; Jack had been right when he said that forcing someone into getting help was never going to work. But surely, with this setting, there was an exception to be made. 

“Yeah, Cas, if waking up in a hospital bed is ‘not that bad’ to you, I honestly don’t think I want to know what ‘bad’ is,” Blaine agreed softly, letting his gaze rise to meet his twin’s. “Something’s gotta give here.” 

When Caspar heard the word rehab, it made him feel a little scared inside, that was one place where he didn’t want to end up. “I’m not going to rehab, there’s no way I’m going there.” He said as he shook his head with a sigh. Caspar really hated talking about things that were going on in his personal life, it was like it was being invaded, he knew that they only meant well, but it was hard to take in.

“Bad would be like... I don’t know... Being literally skin and bones? I’m not like that though, I’m not that skinny or anything.” Caspar said with a shake of his head. Sure he may have lost weight, but it wasn’t that much surely? He still felt like he could lose a whole lot more. 

As Caspar saw Blaine gaze into his eyes, he frowned deeply as he glanced down. “I guess you guys could help me... If you want to..? I’m not going to a clinic or anything though.” Caspar said, as he was reluctantly willing to get help from his family, but no one else.

PM] I’m really losing my patience with you. No, you don’t need more jobs. You need to realise you’re killing yourself. You’re being fed through a fucking tube. You will not be allowed to do anything until you get some sense through your thick skull, that’s final. I don’t care what you want, that’s the rules.

What are you actually trying to achieve? Do you want me to get down on my knees and beg you to stop. Tell you I forgive you and that I’m so sorry about everything between us. That’s we’ll be best of friends from now on?

Why are you even doing this to yourself?

(PM) No, no. I can’t not be able to do anything. It’s not killing me, doing work isn’t killing me. How else am I gonna pay this hospital stuff, if I’m not working to get money? There only doing that because I’m under weight.... I didn’t even give my permission for them to do it..

It’s not always just about what’ we’re going through... It would be nice if we were a bit more connected, but I know that’ll take time.

I don’t even know if I have an answer for that..

PM] They kept you in for five days? Shit I thought you would have only been in one night for just passing out. Jesus. Well, best of luck paying that hospital bill, pal. Probably not for the moment because I have shit to do this week. Plus you’ve been in hospital for five days… not the best idea you’ve ever had. Although you’re not knows for wise ideas.

(PM) Yeah... Low blood pressure, and other things... They’ve been feeding me through a tube to get more stuff into my body.. Guess I’ll need some more jobs then... What about rehearsals? I really want to do that musical Coop, Can I join once I’m out? Not everyone has great ideas, we are all good at different things.