Rant and Crap

(Note: he's normally a damn good GP. He's been great during the time I had to spend in the care of a psychiatric unit recently - depression kicked my arse, I'm better now - and he's excellent at not treating chronic pain patients like drug seekers.

[TW: mentions of r*pe.]

God, this is a controversial subject.

So I live in Ohio. We have this law called the “Heartbeat Bill”. Once a fetus’s heart can be heard beating, abortion is prohibited for that woman. I agree with it to some extent.

Say you were a married woman of 20, and one night you roughhouse a bit with your husband. Both of you knew what would happen, but didn’t really pay any mind to it. The next month, you miss your period and decide to take a pregnancy test. When both of you find out that the test was positive, your husband suggests you get an abortion. This situation is something I would not favor unless a child cannot be support based on the amount of money. I stand with this opinion because if both parties were aware of the outcome, then they should have been fine with it.

That is an example of a case that I would not support abortion in. If the woman was raped instead, then I would stand by her side with her choice to get an abortion or not. If that woman were to have that child, it could lead to the child not being safe due to it triggering her and her physically reacting to it. Rape is not a fun experience. It could also potentially hurt the child if the man who committed the rape crime had a history of diseases in his family or if he had suffered from STDs. I would also say that if a child was raped, then an abortion would be required for his or her’s health.

It’s not about abortion. It’s not that they care about the pregnant person, or even the zygote/embryo/fetus. It’s about control.

These people are the ones telling me I have no right to ever have sex with my husband given that pregnancy would fuck up my mental health forever. Usually with a dose of 'why get married at all if you don't want to have babies?'

Which I don't, anyway. I don't like children. I have a right to decide never to have them. Antichoicers just cannot seem to deal with that.

Other doctors basically told me I had to starve myself a lot further before it 'becomes an issue'.

I've been battling my ED for over 2 decades now, but I'm in a much better place these days and due in no small part to that GP who actually listened and cared enough.

Pregnant women/females, pregnant men/males, pregnant nb folks, all awesome

I had to deal with a bigot like that at work who was 'gatekeeping' the bathrooms because they thought anyone with a penis was 'obviously not a woman'.

I know because I've had that accusation levelled against me often enough.

Shocking!

No.

Had a coffee date with my sister and she remarked that it was odd she'd never seen me eat anything in front of family, yet I was too fat.

She further went on to 'explain' (btw I have a biology degree, she doesn't) how cutting calories always results in weight loss so I therefore must be going home and shoving junk food into my mouth at 250rpm.

Ergo, I was lazy. She KNOWS about the meds I'm on (antipsychotics are my main bigbear) and my disabilities (broken back is only the start) but still insisted that NO medications can affect your weight that much and thst all I had to do was reduce my food intake because "calories in equals calories used".

Oh and it's "lazy" to not be working actively to change your weight because "my taxes pay for your healthcare!". She got angry when I said MY taxes pay for HER child's school so it's false equivalency.

Then came a comment on how her son (my nephew) shouldn't be exposed to people who "think obesity is cool."

I admit I lost my temper. There were references to her jamming her cranium up her waste processing chute. Probably gave her the image that fat people are secretly all hate-filled expert ranting unpleasant arseholes and for that I'm sorry.

Update: she's sent me an email detailing how she was 'only concerned for your health' and I'd probably not be disabled if I lost weight and wouldn't that be great?

I sent back a very terse response about how the same comments when we were teens formed a major role in me developing a serious case of anorexia. She bullied me then about my weight and how if I was thin like her I'd have no issues, nowadays she still does it but with an added 'I'm a parent and you're not so I know everything better than you' superiority attitude.

Difference is, I'm not 16 anymore. I'm 42 and I'm officially DONE with fat shaming ableist crap. I'm fucked off with dickheads telling me my disabilities are my fault because I exist as disabled AND fat.

People are allowed to be selfish, especially when it comes to making decisions about their body. Selfish people can have kids (i.e. because it’s their dream to have kids) or not have kids (i.e. because it’s not their dream to have kids). Selfish people should still have the right to make their own reproductive decisions. They shouldn’t be forced to have kids just because they’re selfish.

Luckily the second GP I saw told me it was a crock of shit (he's now my regular GP and yes he checked if I was ok before swearing. He's bloody amazing) and promptly set up the insertion appointment.

There is NOTHING wrong with needing to use a mobility scooter.

Mobility scooters are not a joke. 

How about I get you started? Did you ever consider, for maybe two seconds, that some people have medical conditions that severely limit mobility, and that affect their hormones, and that leads to weight gain they can’t get off? Of course not. They have a “problem”. “Personal responsibility” after all, right?

Only the real world and medicine doesn’t work like that.

Take a friend of mine for example, who had their knee and hips permanently injured in a car accident where their mother died in front of them when they were young. They were then severely abused by their father for years after, while dealing with excruciating pain an inadequate medical care. They have severe, suicidal clinical depression (that judgement from people like you actively makes worse).

As a result of their injuries they need mobility help sometimes. Not because they’re “so fat”, but because they’re fucking disabled. They’d be using mobility assistance on the bad days regardless of weight.

Also funny enough some people can “watch what they eat” and still not lose weight. Some people also don’t have access to good food, or have the money available for it, especially if they’re disabled and can’t work. A whole lot of people can’t afford doctors, and the vast majority of heavily overweight people get terrible medical care anyway. The doctors don’t listen to them, and so their “advice” ends up being bias.

Does it EVER, even for a split second, occur to these hateful dickheads that maybe the fat might be a result of the disability and NOT the other way around?!

Likely no. It would spoil their ego-driven hatred after all; their need to feel 'better' than someone else. It's far easier to assume fat=disability after all.

(For note: I've got at least 3 serious medical conditions that limit my movement. I also eat as little as possible. Several of my meds fuck up my metabolism. Several of my medical issues fuck with it too. Yet I still get arseholes yelling 'fat isn't a disability!' and 'just lose weight you fatass!' at least once a month when I park in a disabled bay with my LEGIT disabled pass.

Ask yourselves this, fatphobes: what exactly is the outcome you want to get from your comments against us? Do you want us to suddenly carve off bits of ourselves to fit a 'normal' weight? Do you want us to immediately leap up from our mobility aids and run laps? Do you want us to beg your forgiveness for daring to go out in public while disabled and fat because it makes YOU uncomfortable?

Tw: suicide mention. Tw: eating disorder

I went to my GP to ask for help with a severe depression. Seriously severe. As in 'I need professional help'. She told me that I should 'lose weight' and that a referral to the counselling service wouldn't be of any use, even though I was specifically requesting it because this is the WORST my depression has ever been and it's scaring me.

Nope, just repeated 'lose weight', followed by 'eat less!'

Then I mentioned that I have a long history with anorexia so I'm scared restricting my food will trigger a relapse.

She looked me up and down and laughed. Actually LAUGHED IN MY FACE and said "that's a lie, if you'd really had anorexia you'd have shot yourself in the head before becoming overweight!"

I got up and walked out of the appointment right there, with her shouting 'the truth hurts doesn't it?' after me.

Personally, I believe that the baby within the womb is also a human and should have a right to live! While yes, the baby IS within the womb of a woman, there is a completely different, beautiful human resting inside of her. And while I get that it relies totally on the mother for everything, do children under the age of 13 not rely on their parents for all things?

When both parties agreed to engage in intercourse, both know that a child could be a result of having sex. The pregnancy is not a punishment by any means, it is just a possible result of having sex. They KNOW what being pregnant entails and what comes with it, even if they use birth control or condoms. On a major point. I am a follower of Yeshua Ha'maschiach (Jesus Christ). That should explain why I have this belief and other beliefs as well.

Consensual sex =/= consensual conception.

Sex =/= pregnancy.

People can have sex without getting pregnant, without wanting to get pregnant, and without being willing/able to handle pregnancy.

And even if someone wanted to get pregnant when they had sex (i.e. they were “trying”), consent to the pregnancy can be revoked at any point during the pregnancy.

“When both parties agreed to engage in intercourse, both know that a child could be a result of having sex.”

1. Some people don’t know that.

2. Knowing sex can result in impregnation doesn’t mean they consented to it.

“The pregnancy is not a punishment by any means, it is just a possible result of having sex.”

That doesn’t mean pregnant people should have no choice but to have kids, because they had sex.

Their bodily autonomy and reproductive rights shouldn’t be violated because they had sex.

“They KNOW what being pregnant entails and what comes with it, even if they use birth control or condoms.”

1. They might not know.

2. You’re implying someone is consenting to something while actively trying to prevent it from occurring. That’s disturbing. Just because their body can do something doesn’t mean they’re consenting to do that thing.

“On a major point. I am a follower of Yeshua Ha'maschiach (Jesus Christ). That should explain why I have this belief and other beliefs as well.”

It doesn’t, but thanks for sharing.

“SN (Side Note): I don't condemn people who are having/had abortions. I condemn the act of abortion itself. I believe that it is the killing of an infant.”

Contrary to your belief, it’s not.

A zygote/embryo/fetus =/= an infant.

That doesn’t make much sense.

I was using contraception both times I got pregnant. I do NOT want kids EVER. But I'm not going to give up sex just because some people think I'm wrong for having 2 abortions, or for being childfree, or being on medications for my mental state that would harm a fetus and that I CANNOT live without...

Your religion makes no fucking difference to me. I don't care. It doesn't prove you know what's best for me any more than my religion would give me the right to dictate your life. (It doesn't. At all. Let's keep religion out of healthcare and science matters and the world would be better)

My body, my right to protect it. If you think pregnancy has no mental health risks or physical health risks then you need to go educate yourself.