A Certified Disaster™

Sweetest girl you’ve ever met be like “aww im nothing special” and then she’s actually everything good that the world has to offer. Brightest ray of sunshine that’s ever met the earths soil btw.

Europe must choose between having a delicious cup of chocolate pudding and shitting its pants on a crowded public train

this is how we should generate power for cities

contextual storytelling from that sign in the back

muttering "the hamsters control the wheels" as i wander around like a blind medieval soothsayer

They always were, but now they have twitter. Also the standards of their dignity have fallen enough that reporters are more candid about what they say to them.

when i say “girl” randomly as an interjection i’m speaking to the omnipresent all knowing being of Girl. asking her for mercy. taking girl’s name in vain

Tumblr mutual confidentiality clause

Anonymously send me "would you ever" asks

Anonymously send me "would you ever" asks

Anonymously send me "would you ever" asks

Wizard girl glamouring her clothes so that anyone who isn't sapphic sees a modest outfit instead whatever incredibly slutty clothes she has on (or just her fully nude body).

when someone calls me their friend my heart skips a beat it’s like i won at being myself

beautiful, sexy, powerful and smart women named SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING are attempting to contact me