The Crash Reel

I was 7 when I had my first concussion. I had followed a friend into the woods at Okemo Mountain, lost control, and skied directly into a tree. My helmet cracked, my ski was stuck in the tree, and I don't remember it one bit. I had always been an adventurous kid, always taking risks. But I learned early on that I was very prone to concussions. By the time I was a freshman in high school, I had four concussions, only one of which I actually reported. Within my first week of school, I was concussed, bringing my total to 5. 

From that incident until my junior year of high school, I was concussion free. But fall of 2012 I received another concussion in field hockey, then in the winter I got another one while ski racing, then another one during lacrosse season. At this point my school kept me out of sports for the remainder of the spring, and I focused on recovering for the upcoming fall.

I spent my summer relaxing and recovering for my senior year, and during the begining of my field hockey season, everything was great! This was until October 19, 2013. This is a day that I will never forget, I was playing defense, and the ball was hit into an open area. I was running towards it, and then I'm sitting in my school's doctors office. To give some perspective my game was on a Saturday, I was in my doctor's office on a Friday, everything in-between is strait mush. It wasn't until 2 weeks after my injury that people noticed how messed up I really was. They sent me home early for break in hopes of recovering there. I came back from Thanksgiving break, feeling better, and I was determined to make it through the 16 days until winter break. I wanted to ski, since it had been my passion since I was 2. It was my life, it still is, and I had already lost my chance win New Englands with my field hockey team, so I just wanted to do something I loved. Six days into school, I called home, crying hysterically, and once again I was sent home. 

After winter break, I was much further along in my recovery. I was/am no long to play contact sports. So I dedicated myself to my senior thesis: Concussions in Schools. For 5 months I dedicated myself to help my school create better concussion protocols for the future, because I don't want anybody to end up like me. I was ignorant, I didn't think concussions were a big deal. But now I know that they are. If I listened I would still be playing sports, I would be skiing in the backcountry, racing, doing the things I love. It has been 11 months since my life turned upside down, and although I have come a far way in my recovery process, I am nowhere near recovered. 

On the day after Thanksgiving, November 29th our lives were turned upside down when my daughter, Elizabeth, and I were involved in an ATV accident.  Elizabeth did not sustain any injuries but was the first to get to me and saw our friends rush a young girl and I to the hospital.  At the young age of nine she witnessed her Mom suffer for the first time and it was scary.

Over the next two months I was in and out of emergency rooms, hospitals, dealing with a moderate traumatic brain injury along with 7 smaller injuries.   In addition, our family traditions at Christmas didn't happen as I had an emergency anterior cervical discotomy fusion three days before Christmas.  Elizabeth didn't want to hug, touch, or be close to me which was a major struggle for me as we had been extremely close prior to the accident and I missed every aspect of our relationship-the hugs, snuggling, long conversations, and her asking me for my opinion.  While I was suffering a TBI, as a Mom, I was struggling more that my daughter didn't understand what was going on with my injuries.

Yet on Valentine's Day night my husband told both of us he had a documentary we needed to watch together.  As Olympic "junkies" and one who had been cheering on Kevin long before his accident, I immediately said yes.  Elizabeth wasn't as keen on the idea of spending time with me but respected her Dad's idea and sat on the other side of the couch.  I was thankful she was there and took it as a gift.  BUT the biggest gift I've ever received came about thirty to forty five minutes into the film.  Elizabeth saw what Kevin and the Pearce family was going through and of course she fell head over heels for David.  As the film progressed she began asking me lots of questions about my injury and slowly crept closer and closer to me.  By the end of the documentary she was holding my hand, hugging me, and apologizing for not understanding what I was going through.  Sweet bliss-I finally had my relationship with my daughter back!!  

In May 2010, our son Connor (then 15) underwent what was to be routine day surgery to repair a deviated septum in his nose. During the procedure however something went horribly wrong and bone fragments shot into Connor’s brain causing bleeds in both the area behind his left eye surrounding the brain, and in the left frontal lobe of the brain itself. Connor spent a precarious week in pediatric intensive care and a month in the hospital recovering.

Roll the clock back to November 2008, when Connor performed his piano composition, Oscar’s Song, at jazz legend Oscar Peterson’s Memorial Concert, recorded by CBC Radio. While receiving a standing ovation, Connor had chills of elation and knew then that music was his life’s calling.

What Connor didn’t see coming was the setback that nearly derailed his dream. Having suffered initial right side paralysis, Connor had to re-learn much of what we take for granted. His most arduous challenge however was finding a way to play his music again. When Connor returned home from the hospital, he couldn’t even make a sound on the piano with his right hand. But he didn’t let that realization discourage him. Connor’s comeback was documented in a CBC TV news story last year that can be viewed online.

http://www.cbc.ca/manitoba/scene/homepage-promo/2013/02/27/connor-derraugh-overcomes-the-odds 

The Canadian Long Track Speed Skating Team’s Sport Psychologist Derek Robinson picked up on Connor’s news story, and used it as a motivational piece prior to the skaters 2013 World Cup competitions in Europe. It was a proud moment for Connor’s older brother’s Tyler, who skates on the team, and Reece, who’s the teams’ equipment tech. Step brother Chris Williamson, a 4 time Paralympian in Alpine Skiing, Visually Impaired category, is as an inspiration. Talk about extreme sports - imagine skiing the downhill at 80 miles an hour legally blind?

Nearly 4 years later, Connor still walks with a slight limp, and his right hand continues to slowly recover. Sister Elizabeth, a personal trainer helps work with Connor to rebuild his strength, coordination and right side dexterity. Due to his traumatic brain injury, Connor suffers from a learning disability known as Executive Dysfunction which affects his ability to organize, plan and self-motivate. Despite his deficits, Connor’s gritty determination, positive attitude - he’s never asked, why me? - and burning love for music have led his recovery.

Along the way, a number of wonderful people have come into Connor’s life, including his incredibly supportive high school band teacher Bill Kristjanson and professional musicians Craig Bailey – formerly of Ray Charles Band – and Walle Larsson - who suggested that Connor make the sax his primary instrument as it would be easier for him to play. Bill, Craig and Walle showed great faith in Connor, mentored his development, and refused to accept anything but friendship in return. We think of them as Connor’s angels.

Last fall, Connor was fortunate to be one of only 13 students accepted into the University of Manitoba’s Jazz Studies program led by New York jazz veteran and major Connor booster, Steve Kirby, which is an accomplishment for any aspiring musician, let alone someone who has had to battle back from a TBI.

Our family recently viewed the Crash Reel and it was quite the ride – let’s just say that the Kleenex box made its rounds. The scenes of Kevin in the hospital were so relatable - it was as if we were living them again. We found it interesting that before Kevin spoke, he mouthed the words to ‘the Believer’ by Neil Young. (Neil by the way grew up here in Winnipeg.) Before Connor spoke, he sang along with the lyrics to Polite Dance Song by the Bird and Bee before returning to an unresponsive state. It was like a scene from the movie Awakenings and repeated itself, with different songs, many times.

While in intensive care, Connor’s first gesture, like Kevin’s, was flipping the bird. In Connor’s case however, he did so to a prodding nurse. Yes, that was Connor, Live and Unfiltered.

Interestingly, Connor’s first comment after viewing the Crash Reel echoed Kevin’s, ‘Not only did it remind me of what I went through, but it also helped me to see what I’d put my family through.’

Connor has often said that he feels blessed to have a second chance at life and intends to make the most of it. Connor has spoken to music students about his story and the power of music and often volunteers with special needs children, marvelling at their resilience and spirit. 

I was born on July 28 1965, with heart challenges that had to be corrected at Arkansas Children's Hospital in Little Rock in 1969 at age 4.  Then September 25, 1977, I was hit in the head while not wearing head a helmet, parental neglect, (dreams missed were Olympics & Air Force) while riding an outdated three-wheeler in our yard on the Warren Highway going toward Fordyce.  The EMT's picked me up DOA.  They rushed me to Warren, then on to Pine Bluff, Jefferson Hospital where I stayed in a coma for three months.  I walked on Christmas Eve, surprising everyone, including the doctors. My father had brought my girl friend up a few days earlier, before that no signs of life at all, nothing.  She walked in & I grinned for the first time, then in a few days, I was awake, God had moved through my eyes seeing her.   

My arms & fingers were clutched to my chest as tight as you can image during the coma, but the therapist during the coma had worked with me daily, she always knew I would recover.  She knew, divine intervention!  The nurses continued working with me to exercise my fingers, because they have never had seen fingers learn to be strait, but today they did.  They created a device & it worked.  Only God gave them the knowledge through an education; no other!  I got so tired of being called brain injured, because in the dictionary injured isn't beneficial defined, like disabled, (negative educational self-fulfilling prophecy-who benefits?), etc.  Don't worry many called me crazy my entire life for thinking better or positive of myself.  God knows His people.  Then I started using a new identity "challenged" which means "to demand as due or deserved".  I deserve respect for recovery from a coma, true or false?   

The journey has continued through many difficult roads, but I will succeed, as I believe.  No one fall took me out of the care of the Father above, because I trust in His love.  I rest.  SAU tried to destroy with their neglect, but drew me closer to the Father's respect.

I now give lectures on the value of helmets to save the your brain from intentional harm/disrespect, what will you do?  It is on you?

Shaun Best, Protector of the Natural State

1110 Pine Circle

Smackover, AR 71762

We activate, educate, demonstrate, initiate, motivate, stimulate, & validate that some cognitive challenges may be conquered, when you think you can!

We believe achieve receive success like Mr. Best!!

On a spring day in 1981 (I was 21), my family took the motorcycles out and my sister and I rode in a new area, so all the trails were unfamiliar to us.  We started racing along a fairly level dirt road with a few bumps to jump.  I was well ahead of her and saw another jump-able rise coming up, so I looked back to see where she was and as I turned to take the jump, realized that it was actually the lip of a large concrete flood control channel.  In a split second, I knew I was going to crash and my only chance to avoid it was to jump with speed and height to try to make the other side.  So, I sped up, pulled the jump and missed the other side by 3 feet (found that out many years after).  Before I hit, I passed out, glad I had my helmet on.

My sister takes over the story from there.  She stopped just in time at the same place I'd gone over, very nearly crashing herself.  She watched my front tire hit the other side and watched me pitch forward, hit the front of my head, then flew backwards, hit the back of my head and then hit the left side of my head, motorcycle on top, handlebar jammed into my upper thigh.  I don't remember anything although she said I was trying to tear the helmet off and saying I had to get out of there before I passed out.

I woke up in the back of a pick up truck, then again in an ER and then again inside a CT machine (fairly new technology at the time).  I was in and out of consciousness for 2 days and did not recognize my family.  I was discharged home, leg stitched up.  The only diagnosis was "laceration to the upper left thigh due to motor vehicle accident".  I and my family went back to our lives and I went back to college (nursing school) wondering why I had horrible anger outbursts, visual problems, headaches, no memory for previously learned subjects, fatigue and blanks I'd call my "dial tone moments".  I lived with an unknown brain injury until 2009 and it affected my life big-time.

Fast forward to 2009, I was 49, waiting at a signal in my car, almost home.  The light turned green for me and I looked right and left, then went forward just as I caught the sight of a black jeep hurtling towards me at high speed.  I janked the wheel to the right as far as I could but I got T-boned in the drivers side, hitting my head on the steering wheel, back on the window and again to the steering wheel.  The car came to a stop as I watched the windshield slowly crack all the way across.  The car was totaled and I was lucky to be alive.  The woman driving, swore the light was green for her--I was glad to have witnesses to say it wasn't.

In the ER,I had my first diagnosed concussion...I also had cracked teeth, misaligned jaw and a detached vitreous pulling on my retina in my eye.  I had symptoms for months and even went back to the ER well after the accident thinking my blinding headaches, balance issues and numb cheek were symptoms of stroke.  My neurologist labeled all my symptoms as "menopausal migraine" because all my scans (CT, MRI) were "normal".

Thankfully, I had spent years using alternative means to deal with the seemingly unrelated issues I'd had during the years (migraines, headaches, light and sound sensitivity, mental blanks, fatigue, anger, anxiety, chronic neck and upper back pain, etc).  Cranio Sacral therapy, homeopathy, acupuncture and meditation over the last decade as well as a really amazing helmet, saved my life.  I'm passionate about getting the word out so that people can get the right diagnosis and get the help they need! Also, SPECT scans can show injury where CT/MRI's can't. Thank you KP for this amazing forum.

I’m feeling good and inspired to share a traumatic brain injury update. It has been over 4 years since I was hit by a car and changed. I resisted accepting the person I had become. I was not aware of why, or that I was indeed doing this. But looking back, it becomes clearer. I suppose “clearer” defines me and I am thankful. I can see clearly now – most of the time.

At the time of the accident I was peaking athletically. I had reached personal bests in marathon running and qualified for Ironman world championships. I was gainfully employed and as happy as I had ever been.

After the coma, surgeries, months of hospitalization, therapy, and mental struggle, I wandered lost in an endless desert. I was frightened and looking for me; the guy I remembered… not the person I had become. In many ways I still search. Although now, I realize I’m searching for the person I will become and that excites me. No longer do I judge my athletic performance on a scale borrowed from 2009. I have started to just let that time rest and take pride in my performance now.

I race regularly. I am getting faster and doing more than I ever thought I could. I have a partner that I love dearly and again I can honestly say that I am happy - happier than at any time in my life that I can remember.

If you are interested in having them out to speak to your parents, kids or coaches they encourage you to ask.