this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

everytime I remember that lesbian couple that have a marble statue of the two of them embracing and sleeping on a bed together over where their graves will be because the artists didn’t believe they would be able to be married before they died, so what they couldn’t have in life they could have in death, I fucking breakdown

happy 20th anniversary (nov 3, 2002) to patricia cronin’s marble sculpture that furthered art, advocacy, and lesbian breakdowns everywhere

99% of queer discourse stops right before they define the true difference between bisexual and pansexual!

everyone wants masc carpenter trade until his rough calloused handjob sands your thing down small and smooth as a river stone

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

why is it so hot. why is it so hot. I am being punished.

random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

they call the authentic version of something "bonerfied" bc a boner is one of the realest things there is out there

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

sometimes the author’s barely disguised fetish is YOUR barely disguised fetish and has nothing to do with the author at all

hey so a bunch of people have taken this post as an opportunity to decry interpreting media sexually/suggestively at all and it’s pissing me off. joining the war on eroticism on the side of eroticism. #ThatCigaretteIsAPenis

Like to charge, reblog to cast?

kids were roleplaying with minecraft figurines and one of them had their figure go up to the other and say “i’m in love with you” and the other one replied “sword slash to the chest. and you’re on fire”

concept: instead of “time traveller from the past is unimpressed by the present” it’s “time traveller from the past loves things we don’t like about modern society” like they think pollution is badass or something

medieval peasant upon hearing the number of species that go extinct every day: fuck yeah, damn those beafts to hell

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

wait wait wait stew goblin wait