playing as cousland is so insane. you start the game by being the only survivor of the highever massacre. you get recruited into the grey wardens and then you’re the only survivor of the joining. then in your very first battle you’re one of the two only surviving grey wardens. it’s hit after hit after hit

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me

nope. funkytown again

come on

i know this is tumblr and we’re all playing perverts but i just think some of you would be excellent company for a late night walk and a four hour conversation about absolutely nothing

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

accidentally indulged in too much ‘me time’, turns out i’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities

i cant wait till she tries to figure out why pineco is a bug type

This has got to be the funniest discourse I’ve seen on this hellsite

@vinceaddams ?

@knottybliss patterns!

Oooooh I gotta check this site out

THE SITE

needs a pop of color . . . I think some red accents would really give it that homey feel :)

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when we started talking about getting a small-breed dog I was like, "I will NEVER turn into one of those people who treats their little dog like a doll or an accessory by forcing them to dress up in ridiculous outfits. Dogs HATE that. They should get to be DOGS, and that means not having to wear anything but a HARNESS and being FREE to ROLL in the MUD." and then I adopted a dog who throws a fit if you try to take him for a walk without letting him pick out a bow tie first. a dog who loves wearing pajamas so much that I'm about to spend a disgusting amount of money on several sets of linen ones for summer. a dog who watches me wave at him to follow me through a mud puddle and just stands there blinking up at me like, "are you fucking serious? and get my paws wet?"

i love declining birth rates 🥰 "what a horrible problem! society will collapse!" oopsie it looks like you're gonna have to make having children worth it 😊 teehee you're gonna have to improve society in order to fix this problem, or it will all collapse. oh noooooo. how horrible. :3c

A little known fact is that when under a truth spell, you can simply ask “why” they need to know instead of being forced to answer. You’ve already gone through 3 inquisitors, and the fourth looks like they are about to burst a vein.

They killed Socrates for this