The Broken Haunter

There hasn’t been a single moment where I haven’t been thinking back to that tragic day where I threw my life away into that despicable, icy tomb. I know deep down that it happened years ago, and yet it remains disturbingly fresh in my mind. As I stood longingly at the snowy entryway of the frozen cavern, I placed a ghastly hand despairingly upon my chest.

“Why… why did this have to happen?” I muttered, my face wincing in pain. “Mom… Dad… where are you? I’m so scared…” Before I could utter another word though an almost immediate sensation overcame me and stuck me hard; a sharp pain throbbing within my head, followed by a lamenting voice echoing within.

“Oh, so now you need us?” the voice echoed inhospitably.

“Wha… what?” I called back weakly. “How ironic that after everything you did… you have the gall to even call out for help?” I couldn’t even begin to think of a response, my heart began to beat incredibly fast. “I… I didn’t mean to be so reckless… I was scared.” “Enough to make you run away? Did you hate us that much?” “That’s… that’s not true…” “You caused us so much pain, so why…” “N-no… I…” “Why did you run away, Sláine!” “Please…! “WHY DID YOU ABANDON YOUR FAMILY?!” “STOP IT!”

My scream echoed painfully into the silent, mountain air. My hands reached upward and clung to my throbbing head as I shut my eyes closed. I let out another excruciating howl; yearning desperately to make the pain go away when suddenly my eyes shot open and a flash of light soon blinded me. My hands dropped limply to my sides as I stared vacantly into the empty void, which only stared back in a mocking silence. Eventually the whiteness began to fade away, my surroundings coming back into clarity. However, rather than the lifeless snowscape I had previously gazed upon I instead found myself in the center of a familiar town of northern charm with old fashioned architecture, and once I had laid my eyes upon the familiar, six-bladed windmill I had come to understand where I somehow ended up. My head quickly jolted in all directions, and as I looked frantically around the town my sights fell upon a certain house nestled in between the crevice of an on-looking cliff, one that looked as if it had been around longer than any of the other buildings with its creaky-looking windows, the aged trees draped atop it, old, wooden door, and although most would simply see it as a rickety building that’s seen better days I could easily describe it with one word: Home. With newfound determination I proceeded to enter the house. The moment I manifested myself into the quaint interior I was overcome with many different sensations. I could see the cozy, but inviting confines of the living room that my parents would share many conversations in, the musty, but nostalgic aroma of the lumber that held this very home together, and the scratchy, but familiar scraping noises of the tree branches that caressed themselves against the outside roofing. At last it was coming back to me. Just as I was about to give a longing sigh I could faintly hear some noise coming from a nearby room. With a curiosity welling up within me I slowly drifted over to the connecting hallway and peered into the entryway of an antiquated kitchen, dim in lighting and full of furniture that hadn’t been in style for at least a decade or two. In the center of it all though, stood a figure with their back turned, working diligently at the counter. My nerves began to get the best of me as I realized who was standing there in the kitchen, my entire body trembling. The soft, bat like wings protruding from their arms, the long, black tail draping down to the floor, a pair of large ears jutting out from their head, and of course the familiar, orange hair that hung below the shoulders, even more so than my own. There was no mistaking it. “…Mom…” I thought to myself. Moments later the figure in the kitchen slowly turned towards the hallway I was peering from. My eyes widened in shock and I quickly withdrew myself back into the hall away from her line of sight. I winced in pain, her face looked so weak and exhausted when she turned toward me. Suddenly the silence was broken as a voice from the kitchen called out. “…Sláine…? Sláine, is that you?!” I was heartbroken; tears began to well up as I shakily revealed myself in full from the entryway, facing my mother fully. “How… how did you know…?” I sniffled, tears beginning to run down my cheeks. The Noivern was equally shocked at the sight she had seen before her, literally like a spirit from years past had finally came to see her. But with a gentle smile she shook her nerves off. “Don’t be silly… a mother could never forget her daughter’s face,” She remarked, a tender and familiar softness in her voice. Soon, however, I became alarmed as I saw her slowly approach me, winged arms spread wide open. I suddenly pulled back, putting a clenched, ghostly hand in front of my chest. My mother froze in place, taken aback at my abrupt movement. “Why… are you being so welcoming? After everything I did…” I uttered, my head hanging down with exceptional guilt. “Sláine…” My mother consoled, gazing longingly at me. I could see the tears forming on her face as well. “I… I ran away from home… I fled into the wilderness, got lost in Frost Cavern… I… I was frozen… I threw my worthless life away and tore my own family apart all because I hated being in our stupid performance troupe! So why! Why are you being so-” I was abruptly cut off when my mother suddenly wrapped her arms around me. I don’t know how it was even remotely possible, but I could feel the weight of her pressed gently into me, her warming hold draped around my very body. And so with nothing left to hold me back I sobbed uncontrollably; I wept my heart out as my mother kept her arms around me, giving me reassuring shushes every now and then. I had no idea how else to respond, so I continued to weep into my mother’s own embrace. Soon our mournful gazes met as she looked upon the crimson-violet complexion of my face. “Sláine… I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I had no idea how much you were suffering, how bad your social anxieties had gotten. I had hoped that getting you involved in our troupe would help you overcome your fears, but instead I pushed you even further away. When I had heard what happened to you after you ran way… I just couldn’t believe it. I refused to believe it,” she explained lamentably. “I went and looked everywhere to find you regardless, hoping in vein that I would at least find you battered up, but still alive, but it never happened. I have utterly failed as your mother… what I allowed to happen to my own daughter… it’s inexcusable. You don’t have to forgive me, but just know… I am truly regretful for the way this turned out.” My mother continued holding me tightly; I could see the tears trickle down her exhausted face. After hearing so much regret and anguish coming from her own mouth, her very own heart, I reached out and wrapped my own hands back around her. Even after everything that happened, this felt right. I rubbed my eyes clean, and my crying began to settle down.

“Sláine…” my mother spoke up again. “I want you to know that even after that tragic day, I never stopped thinking about you. Ghost or not… you’re still my daughter, and I love you with all my heart.”

“Mama… thank you.” I uttered back, and finally we released ourselves from our sincere embrace. Having gotten the opportunity to see my mother with my own eyes after all this time, it almost felt like a weight had been carried off of my very soul. However, after a brief moment of silence I began to ask, “so… what are you going to do now, mom?”

My mother remained silent for a moment longer; I could see a twitch of regret in her eyes as she pondered the question. I considered how such a question might seem strange, but her ever growing silence made me begin to dread what her response would be. What felt like an eternity later she gave a gentle smile back to me and placed a hand on my wispy shoulder. “…Don’t you worry about that, sweetheart. I’ll be with you shortly,” she calmly replied. I paused for a brief moment, confused at what she had just said to me. “You’ll… be with me shortly? I don’t understand, mom…” I questioned worriedly, when suddenly I let out a frightened gasp. What was once the original figure of the Noivern who raised me all those years suddenly began to turn a ghastly, reddish purple; her eyes pooled a deep black, and her bat like appearance slowly vanished in place of a more evocative, less bodily form that eerily resembled my own. “It’s like I said, Sláine…” she began. “After I heard what had happened to you I raced out into the wilderness hoping in vein that I would find you, regardless of my better judgment. I even... searched Frost Cavern in hopes to find any trace of you.” I was devastated; I looked over to my mother in horror. “No… mom, you… you…!” Tears were about to well up once again, but my mother stopped me as she floated down to eye level with me. “There’s no need to waste your tears on me, sweetie. It’s what I deserve,” she echoed sadly back to me. “After everything that you had to endure and suffer through, it’s only fitting that I would succumb to the same fate.” There was a momentary pause from her before she uttered one last time, “I’m sorry.” ~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun had begun to set weakly behind the ominous, stormy clouds that loomed firmly over town. My mother and I drifted silently upon an outcropping that stood firmly in between that, and the harsh snowscape north of it. As we stared regretfully at the dreary scenery before us I turned to my mother and asked, “So, what happens now?” My mother, still fixated on the hostile climate in the distance, merely wiped her tear-stained cheek before responding. “I do not know, sweetheart. However… whether we like it or not, we have all eternity to figure it out. Just you and me, Sláine.” I only nodded firmly in response, as I held my mother’s nonmaterial hand with my own. A deafening silence filled the air around us; I was at a loss for words, but in the end could I have truly expected anything different? Regardless of the circumstances, this was how it was meant to be.

This was…

For as long as I have lived on as a ghost of my former self, my past memories have become corrupted, waves of information trying to pry its way back into my mind, only for it to become forced back out. I’ve tried desperately to purge the corruption away and recall what happened, but to no avail. That is, until I found myself gazing upon the familiar village I grew up in; traditionally crafted homes and structures built under a gentle snowfall, all under the watchful eye of a six-bladed windmill.

“Dendemille Town…” I muttered. Suddenly my vision began to blur and my eyes slowly closed, an image beginning to form in my mind. At that moment I could feel the corruption leave my mind, and my thoughts gather. It all became clear… I remembered everything, as if it only occurred the day before.

My parents were a couple of performing Noiverns in Dendemille who always put on vibrant shows for the rest of the townspeople. They had a large following, and were revered as one of Dendemille’s most favored performers. Whenever they went out they would always bring me along with them to socialize with everyone. This ceremonial dress I wear… yes, my mother handcrafted it so one day I would eventually join them on stage; it was their dream to one day become one of the most renowned acts in all of Kalos, and they wanted me to join them on their journey to the top. All things considered it was a very jovial and outgoing experience with so many people giving us their undivided attention, and at the end of the day… I hated it. I hated having to always go out with them and talk with people; no matter where I wandered off to there would always be someone prepared to strike up a conversation with me. I felt so suffocated… and there was no escaping it. Why couldn’t I be left alone? Why?

Every day it would be a consistent routine; get brought into town with family, watch my parents perform, and then socialize with everyone in town. I always tried to find an opportunity to break away from the crowd, but to no avail. Even when I did find an opening to sneak away I was still spotted by someone, and it felt like they were hunting me down. Why wouldn’t they leave me alone? Why? I always asked myself this, but I never got an answer. 

As the days went by it progressively got worse and worse. Were there even this many townspeople to begin with? I could not even begin to understand where they were all coming from, but eventually I had reached a breaking point. 

I had stepped outside one morning just to get a light snack, like a piece of fruit, or perhaps an assortment of oats to cook into a healthy dish? That was when it happened. In the blink of an eye a group of people called out and immediately swarmed around me. The onslaught of questions kicked into high gear, and my mentality was nearing its limit. 

Every inquiry I was bombarded with felt like a jab to my very soul. “You’re the daughter of those performers aren’t you? What are you doing out this early? What do you think of your parents’ shows? Do you want to follow in their footsteps? Have you thought of your own routine yet? Doesn’t it excite you to one day be that famous yourself? How come you’re so quiet? Are you sure you’re entertainment material? Do you think you have the skill to match the success of your parents? It must be such a burden to have to live up to those standards.” 

Not once did I know how to answer any of those questions, and never at any time did I have an opportunity to reply back to them. I was backed against a wall, on the verge of panic-stricken tears, when out from the side of my view I could see my parents waving and heading over in my direction. Rather than give a sigh of relief though I could only feel my distress well up further, anxious thoughts racing through my head of how they would get me more involved in the relentless barrage of questions. Being forced into such a taxing situation I decided I only had one option left. 

With nothing more I could do, I forced my eyes shut, and I ran. I ran away as fast as I could towards the northern region past Dendemille. I could hear my parents and other townsfolk call out to me, but I couldn’t even bare to look back, not even at my own family, as I dashed with all my might through the thick, snow covered trees. The tears ran across my cheeks as I lamented over the horrifying decision I had made, but there was no turning back now; I couldn’t bare to spend another second forcing myself to be with people I never wanted to talk with in the first place, and so I continued to run. 

Eventually my escape had quickly brought me up to the mouth of a frighteningly iced over cave. A worn out, dilapidated sign next to it bore the words “Frost Cavern” in a faded out color. Left in disrepair, with no indication of it ever being used again, I considered how desolate such a place was, but I couldn’t turn back; I had to keep going until I knew I was truly in solitude. 

Eventually I could run no longer, breathless, with my legs pushed to their absolute limit. As I took a moment to catch my breath I perked my ears into the air. The feedback gave me an unsympathetic cross-breeze echoing throughout, but not a single indication of a voice other than my own breathing could be heard, and for a moment I felt a wave of happiness flow through my body. Finally… I had lost them, I was finally alone, and I could at last have an opportunity to hear myself think. No more performances, no more crowd noise, and no more socializing. 

Just when I thought I could finally give a sigh of relief, however, a bitter chill brushed against my skin and I finally opened my eyes. Ice, snow, and frost as far as the eye could see, and regardless of where I averted my gaze to I could see nothing but the multitude of endless, frozen over tunnels that made up the heart of Frost Cavern. With a traumatic thump in my heart I finally uttered, “Where… am I?” 

My remark echoed sadly throughout the iced-over passageways, and when I heard absolutely nothing back in reply it dawned on me how alone I truly was at that moment. The feeling stung the very core of my being; this was not how I wanted it to be, and with that ever-darkening fear welling up inside me, along with a blanket of unfeeling, hostile coldness wrapping itself along my body, I knew immediately I could not be here any longer. 

I began to scurry through the numerous passageways, ignoring the oncoming numbness that was beginning to course through my legs, hoping in vein that I would find some kind of landmark I would recognize that would in turn take me to the exit of this abhorrent cave, but to no avail. Tears began to well up once more as I began to fear the worst. What have I done? All I wanted was to have some solitude, but not like this. I began to call out in desperation. “Mom! Dad! M-mama… papa… anyone, someone please answer me! Please! PLEASE! SOMEONE ANSWER ME! I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE ANYMORE!!” 

I tried once more to call for help, the tears pouring down my cheeks and leaving a trail behind me as I ran further through what felt like an endless labyrinth, but eventually nothing came out, as if my own breath had failed me. The numbing coldness had begun to incapacitate my body, and I slowly collapsed onto the heartless, icy floor of the cavern. I tried in vein to lift up an arm, a finger, something, but anything I tried to render mobile was too numb and too heavy to budge an inch. The choked up tears ran down the side of my face and froze upon contact with the inconsolably cold ground, and I so desperately wanted to cry out for help once more.

Soon everything around me began to grow silent, and with nothing but the sound of my own, faint heartbeat pulsing through my ears I began to realize the absolute end that this would lead to. If only… I hadn’t been so terrified with talking to people then perhaps this never would have happened. Mom… Dad… you were only trying to help me overcome my anxieties, weren’t you? You knew I had been getting more and more withdrawn as I got older, and you wanted to do everything in your power to help me. But in the end this is how I repaid you; my desperate need to have solitude proved to be my most fatal mistake. My eyelids grew heavier, and with it my vision blurred. My heartbeat had slowed more… and more… until eventually… silence.

I soon broke out of the trance caused by my resurfaced memories, and as my eyes opened back up I suddenly found myself once again in front of the frozen mountain-scape that was Frost Cavern. I do not know what compelled me to once again enter its unyielding entryway once more, but perhaps deep down I yearned for some form of closure.

As I made my way further through the many ice-filled chambers my vision suddenly grew dark, along with my surroundings. “Darkness again...? What now...” After a few moments the shroud dissipated and I found myself in the center of an icy chamber. As a looked down my gaze froze; not by the immense cold though, but rather in a state of pure disbelief that shook my very soul and caused tears to stream down my face. In front of me was a figure, a Noivern, sprawled motionless on the heartless, glacial ground, covered head to toe in a layer of ice. Upon closer inspection it appeared to be clothed in a black and green dress with silver & gold ceremonial symbols embroidered into both the skirt and the hems. As I scanned further up I could see locks of pure, red hair draped over the figure’s shoulder and face with a glazed over stare that showed no signs of animation.