styx in the river

I'm absolutely certain many of the other gang members were just as affected by losing people, but because men's emotions at the time were seen as a source of weakness, they resorted rather to repressing them - not crying, not spending too much time thinking about it and trying to sweep the loss under the rug, and others had already been so used to death in their lives that they really did experience feeling next to nothing even when someone in the gang died right in front of them.

That desensitization probably just opened the gang up even more to putting themselves through the same dangerous situations over and over again - to prove their manhood and fight, but also because death was such a normalized part of their lives even when it was their own friends, and for most of them the fact that they kept losing people because of their own decisions as well as Dutch's decisions barely even registered as much of a problem other than "well that's just how it goes sometimes, you win some you lose some" and they're just glad when it isn't them who died.

(as a sidenote, example 2 is even more concerning to me that Dutch, without even batting an eye already at this stage - the beginning of chapter 3 - associates a "kinder, truer, better way" with having to lose people in order to achieve this goal)

In fact, one of the biggest examples I can think of in regards to being able to tell who is fully desensitized and who isn't is Banking, the Old American Art and how each remaining gang member reacts to Lenny's death on the rooftop.

Charles stops for a moment to check on Lenny before continuing to push on once he realizes Lenny is dead, Bill and Micah run past without even sparing a glance (Sure, a case can be made that they didn't care much for Lenny in the first place, but to not even acknowledge that someone they knew died enough to even look is... interesting to say the least. We know Bill is likely more used to death, having once been in the army, and as for Micah who was raised by his outlaw father whose name he also shares who, from the stories Micah can be found telling at times, was abusive, Micah too would also be very used to death and/or bad things happening so often he would come to eventually brush them off and shut down in full on self-survival mode... and I would like to do an analysis on that at some point too in the future, but I digress), Javier stops and looks back quickly before continuing to push forward, and finally Dutch runs past then stops at the end to wait for Arthur before continuing forward himself. Arthur, however, fully and completely stops for several seconds (by my count, give or take 16 full seconds) before he finally convinces himself to run.

Arthur is an interesting case because he never let himself become that desensitized to not grieve for his friends, even at his worst version of himself in the low honor route, and eventually how many mistakes that cost so many lives is what made him question following Dutch anymore, because every plan just got more and more people killed and ruined more and more lives as Dutch strayed further and further from the man he once was - the Dutch van der Linde who once scolded a young Arthur for stealing from someone who already had next to nothing, rather than the Dutch of the future who didn't care to let John and Abigail die and Jack be orphaned just so he could be safe.