thebaldunicorn

this shouldn’t have made me laugh so hard but I almost cried

This is a world heritage post. I miss Twitter

why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol

Hannah Montana is fucked up because its entire POINT as a show is that children should be protected from fame and exploitation, but it stars a REAL little girl that's being exploited. Nearly every episode carries the looming threat of Miley being outed as Hannah and losing her peaceful teenage life to the ravages of fame. Her father in the show (played by her own father in real life) wisely protected her from the trauma of fame by making her wear a disguise and live a rather quiet, interview-free life. Meanwhile the REAL Billy Ray Cyrus sold his daughter to Disney Channel when she was 11 and forced her to read dialogue about how terrible it would be to face the public eye. Like... Jesus, dude. The fictional Robby Ray is 10x the father, and it's not even close. (It's also IMMENSELY funny that her dad doesn't use his real name in the show, while she does. Almost like he wanted a bit of a disconnect between his identity and his character. Something Miley didn't get.)

Hyperrealistic simulacrum of a good father

i spot a plus size honey across the bar and start to chat her up until her bisexual boyfriend with a magic the gathering tattoo comes over and starts yelling at me so i turn him sideways so he can't make another action until his next turn

when your stomach is really mad at you and you're not sure which one of your fourteen unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it

somehow my app bugged and cut the last nine words off so I thought op was a cow or something

There somehow just keeps being More Dress

probably feels good as hell to jump backwards during a swordfight and throw a fan of daggers at your foe

I identify the most with the woman who has a green velvet ribbon around her neck and keeps being like "DONT untie my neck ribbon or something really bad will happen" and then her husband unties the ribbon and her head falls off. this is extremely real to me. spent my whole life like "please don't do this thing to me or really bad stuff will happen" and everyone around me being like "that sounds fake" and doing it anyway. and then my head fell off!

little miss echolalia would like to repeat what u just said

little miss auditory processing disorder would like you to repeat what you just said