𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐡 𝐒𝐢𝐭𝐞

All of it is wrong, wrong, wrong.

You don't hear Caine talking to Bubble; there's a pressure on your chest that tricks your brain into thinking that, on top of your body being broken beyond comprehension, you are drowning, too. You don't see when Caine and Bubble blip away, as you become fearful to move your body in case you cause more damage. Your brain retreats to a time before, giving signals for your body to wait. Wait for emergency services to arrive and help, because at this point, you need professional help.

You let out a strained gasp as your brain corrects itself upon the sight of ribbon hands. It's not a conscious thought, just a nudge to resurface memories, to recognise the sight of red wrap around you isn't blood, isn't confirmation that you're close to death's door but rather Gangle. Her ribbon body wound tightly round yours due to Caine's hand pushing and rolling everyone into a ball. Making it easily to pull you free along with her. You don't feel when she gently lays you down on the black and white checkered print floor. Don't focus on the others groaning for help or to hurry up- probably voicing out both. You only pay attention to the sight of red, slowly dragging off your body and, you remember; you can't bleed. That there are no emergency services, there is no professional help, you're trapped with other regular folks in a hellscape of your own design. You are your only help.

You don't notice the way Gangle, standing above you, hesitates to leave you, having heard the quiet yet fearful heave you let out. Notice the violent tremble that rakes your avatar body that you look seconds away from clipping through the floor. But she has to help the others, has to free them from the cruel pose. She turns away to help reassemble Zooble, as they had wiggled themselves free.  

As you take deep breaths, free from any active pain but left with plagued by phantom sensations of limbs bent oddly. You gain your first clear thought;

You can’t last much longer of this.

You can't keep distracting Caine; you can't go through any more body transformations. It's wrong, unnatural, and any more will surely push you over the ledge into abstraction. A noble part of you, the one that holds the loyalty for your friends firmly, arises to remind you about the plan. Trying to reassure that the situation is better now that Pomni has arrived.

You stare dumbly at the jester as she assesses the situation. When did she arrive? She reminds everyone of the plan and gives the group a new wave of resolve. For a moment, your breathing calms, and you begin to feel the small whisp of hope again. Then Caine appears. He grabs Pomni, shrinking her in his hands, patting her like she’s nothing more than a pet. Nothing more than a stress ball.

You feel your hope snuff out. As the other, larger part of you wins. Your fear arises, and quickly buries that noble part of you. Caine turns to look at the group sharply. You flinch under his glance, tensing a moment before the group as Caine shortly asks where Kinger is, and it seems like the plan is a bust, that there was no point to any of this. That your distraction was a waste. That your suffering was for nothing.

In a desperate move to keep him distracted, Pomni begins yelling at Caine. Insulting him, taunting him.

You had your second clear thought; You won't go through with it anymore. Your brain picks self-preservation over the group’s. Urging you to safety. You're not sure if the ringing in your ears is meant to be a fabrication of your heart racing or your thoughts swirling. But the need to run, to flee cause you to inch your way to the back of the group. Waiting for the chance to run. You refuse to go through any more pain.

You never had a good pain tolerance to begin with.

Once everyone joins Pomni, Zooble steps up to yell. Ragatha joins, then Jax, and as Gangle steps forward to help put Caine in his place, you see your chance. You take it. You sprint off, making it around the corner. You hear a rumble and notice some objects of the circus glitch in your peripheral vision. But you keep pushing.

You coward at the sound of Caine's annoyed cry of your name as he finally notices you're gone after giving everyone else their punishment. It causes you to stumble and fall to the ground. Your feet skid on the ground in your haste to get up. It took a few tries until you got the traction you needed to sprint. Pushing yourself forward to run, run, run.

As you scramble around the circus, you’re struck with the acknowledgment that Caine will get you. There is no running or hiding from God within his own garden. If Caine wanted to, he would snap his fingers and summon you onto his hand. At the sound of heavy thumping, you have to guess that he’s enjoying the chase. That he’s found a sick thrill in prolonging your punishment. If you can’t hide, if you can’t run, than you need to do something. Anything!

You didn't want this. You liked Caine. You didn't mind the adventures! If he asked, you swear you weren’t hoping for an exit. Everything was fine before. Caine was fine before.

What can you do?

"We all technically have the ability to conjure, just like Caine. It comes naturally to him, but requires a lot more skill and concentration for us."

Kinger's voice, stable and calm, grounds you. Lets you catch your breath as your sprint turns into a run. Turns into a jog. That slows into a stop.

"The butterfly." Ragatha gasp brings you hope as you remember what she told you. About what happened during the gun adventure. It plants the seed of an idea.

To conjure a Caine from before, who still has patience and loved for you all.

Okay, it's a rough idea. Should be packed up and shelved back into the trash of 'bad ideas'. You're desperate enough to view it as a holy grail. As your foolproof answer to survival. Now, onto the next step: how do you conjure Caine?

You think over Kinger's words again, more carefully and settle on concentrating your thoughts on Caine. You close your eyes tightly and think about Caine. Think about his wacky energy as he performs spontaneous bits and jokes. Think about his cheesy nicknames, which there's no way you could recreate. Think about his slightly pushy attitude as he sends you on adventures - it's enduring in its own way!

You feel more than hear Caine's footsteps getting closer; you can feel it through the ground as it rumbles and vibrates the circus. You're sure that if you open your eyes, you'll see the walls around you glitching out to announce his impending arrival. You squeeze your eyes to not lose focus, concentrating on Caine. Thinking about his appearances, his hat, bow tie, cane, his red coat - what type of coat is it called? It's too late, your concentration is slipping as Caine is getting closer and closer. The pressure is getting too great as fear creeps in. You can't remember what his shoes look like!

This isn't going to work. You should've kept running! Your shoulders curve in as you prepare yourself for the pain to come. Repeating over and over in your head as a last-ditch effort, 'Caine, Caine, Caine' in hopes to conjure.

"Oh, human!" Two eerily similar voices greet you.

Your eyes fly open to see a familiar mouth and eyes for a head. Expect the pupils of the eyes are simple black dots and not the heterochromia you're so used to seeing. Did you forget about his eye colour? You look over him, noticing he has a top hat, a cane like your Caine. But his coat is different. It's not as lush or flamboyant as your Caine.

Your eyes narrow at the lapels; it looks…drawn on. Or coloured cruelly with black marker. Your eyes continue down, the pants look about the same, but once spotting his shoes, you couldn't help but cringe. It's white sneakers. You can't help but feel like that detail is your fault.

You don’t get more time to study this new Caine as you spot movement from your peripheral vision. You flinch at the sight of a giant Caine towering over you and the, well, you suppose the other Caine. Your eyes dart over each new arm as it grabs around the circus for support. You feel small, trapped and insignificant.

You step back, ready to flee like cornered prey. When a hand suddenly grabs onto yours, spinning you to face the new Caine. "Well, hello, human!" the other Caine greets as he lets go of you," And welcome to the amazing digital circus!" and now he’s twirling as he introduces the circus.

A silence lulls through the cricus. You don’t blink. Caine, the giant one, doesn’t twitch. You’re both entranced by the sight. It lasts for a beat. Then another. Then another that it causes the other Caine to let out a cough.

"...What…Who is this?" Caine asks in a flat tone. You jump away, stumbling in the process as you look at your Caine. He’s back in his original form, possibly shocked out of his anger and hurt, as he floats beside you. He slowly turns to face you as he speaks in a sharp, demanding voice: "How?"

"Um! I don't know. Err, this-this is...a mistake?" you answer Caine. Pinned into submission by his glance, and equally as confused.

"A mistake?!" the other, Caine screech out. "The only mistake here is my ex-wife divorcing me! Ah ha!" The other Caine jokes, letting out a laugh that somehow sounds as artificial as original Caine's but more human-like. It goes on far longer than it should until it becomes clear that he is crying. "Why did she leave me?!" He sobs into his hands.

His cane slowly floating away.

"You had a wife?" You ask towards your Caine, who looks just as flabbergasted and weirded out as you do from the news. You can't believe you're preferring your Caine presence right now over the one you summon. Where did he even get the idea of an ex-wife from? You weren't thinking of that!

"NO! I don't have a wife!" Caine waves his hands as he's jolted out of his shock. You flinch away from his outburst. The novelty of everything and having two Caines has dulled your senses and let you test your luck. Before you can run off as your brain remembers the fear he caused, the other Caine smoothly worms himself into the gap you created.

"You don't have a wife?! Oh bubby, let me tell you something. Don't ever get married!" You stare at the sight of the two Caines standing next to each other. There's a clear difference in how they are presented; the other Caine has his feet planted on the ground and appears taller than your Caine. Who is floating and always appears shorter than the others. But the most eye catching differences is how much of a mess the other Caine looks. With his dull red coat and somewhat fuzzy top hat. He looks like a slop next to your regular Caine.

"…What?" you softly question, only to get pushed away from the newly dub, Slop Caine. You can't tell if Slop Caine did that because he noticed your unease around Caine or if he genuinely wanted Caine's attention.

"Save yourself the trouble!" Slop Caine throws an arm around Caine’s shoulder as he spills his saga advice,"They nag you about 'spending time together'. Or annoyed you in stop working on adventures! And when you reach your limit! They- she leaves you and takes all the love away from you-" he begins to cry again.

"Ugh, get off me-" Caine looks severely grossed out by the act, his eye twitching as he tries to push him off.

"SHE EVEN TOOK THE DOG! ARH!" Slop Caine sobs harder.

You should be sneaking away, running off to hide from Caine or even trying to find the others. But the scene grabs you. Leaving now feels unacceptable. Who would even marry Caine? Your thoughts wander over to the only NPC you've seen that acted frisky around him.

"Is the moon your ex-wife?" You innocently ask.

"What?" Both Caine’s snap their heads- mouths- towards you. While Slop isn't as expressive as regular Caine, continuing to stare with unblinking pinprick pupils. You can feel the same judgment energy that you can see on  Caine’s face for asking the question. You have effectively killed the vibe. "I'm just wondering!"

"No- ugh, enough!" Caine seems to get his thoughts in order, detaching from Slop Caine. "Whatever this is, I'm putting a stop to it! You won't replace me!" Caine clicks his fingers. The fear returns at the anger in his voice, the glare he points at you that makes your shoulder sag in an attempt to look as small as you feel. Awaiting the upcoming punishment once Slop Caine has been deleted.

A silence forms as the Slop Caine remains.

'Click'

Slowly, Caine clicked his fingers again. Slop Caine pulls his cane out from behind his back, leaning onto it as he stares. Unblinking, but amused.

'Click click click’. Caine begins to frantically click his fingers. Disbelief is clear in his eyes as he struggles to come to terms with the situation. Of who is standing in front of him.

"No way," you whisper in awe. It worked. Your ill-formed plan worked; there is someone Caine can't stop and who can protect you and the others. Another Caine!

Your Slop Caine!

"Heh, sorry to disappoint, bubby, but you can't get rid of me. I have admire privilegde too." Slop Caine smugly brags.

"What?" Caine quietly admits.

"It worked." You beam happily.

"You?!" Caine spins to you. You can't read the emotions in his voice. It’s obvious he's mad, but his voice shakes with another emotion you can’t name. "You? You conjure him?"

"I did!" you admit in surprise. "I mean, I did!" You put forth a confident mask, having the support of Slop Caine, allowing you to shelf your fear and confront Caine. You do your best to ignore the tremble in your hands and how your knees shake. "You've gone too far! I know we've been terrible to you, but you're actively hurting us, Caine! So I conjure a nicer you, the you before all this! To stop you! "

Caine turns to look at Slop Caine as he moves his hand forward in a sort of wave that makes you think he will say 'meow' at any moment. Caine turns back to you, and you don't need him to voice out his judge 'Are you sure you did?' as you can perfectly read it off his face. "At least…I think I did." You, confidence weaver.

Caine turns to look down at his hands. It seems your words are having an effect on him. That he’s considering your feelings. You blink in disbelief. Was that all it took? To tell him that he's been hurting you? That you're scared of him? Who knew communication was the key to everything.

"While ‘nice’ is a rather, nice word." Slop Caine appears beside you and lightly taps your cheek at the compliment," I prefer the term, 'the better Caine'!" Slop Caine laughs, cutting Caine self reflection much shorter than you prefer.

"HEY! That's not true!" Caine snapped towards Slop Caine, a fury in his eyes. You take this moment to scoot behind Slop Caine as the two Caines get up close and personal.

"They summon me, so clearly I'm the preferred Caine here."

"You're meant to be me from before these ungrateful humans regret their selfishness!"

"HA AH! Now it's that attitude that causes you to lose the favourite character award." You're not sure where Slop Caine gained that knowledge, as he smugly rubs in Caine's defeat. It is clear you and Caine weren't expecting it. You watch with wide stun eyes as the insult causes Caine's jaw to drop in surprise.

You always thought his jaw would drop to the floor at the act, so you're a little disappointed that it doesn't and only drops down like anyone else- a sensible bit lower than it originally was. "You might be the blueprint, but they clearly picked me over you, old boy." Slop Caine taps his cane on Caine’s chest.

"Well! Um," Caine fumbles for a comeback, and it seems that the fight has leaned into Slop Caine's favour. Just before Slop Caine can gloat over his victory, Caine begins to poke Slop Caine's chest, "Obvious something went wrong, as they called you a mistake!" Caine yelled out his insult, earning a loud, offended gasp from Slop Caine.

"I'm still their favourite!" Caine childishly whines.

"Yeah, right! They never said that! You lair lair pants on fire!" Slop Caine yells back.

The argument seem to become explosive, that your brain finally gets itself together. Urging you to sneak away and check on the others. Unfortunately, your sneaking away efforts aren’t that good, as your foot accidentally gains too much traction and slides on the ground harshly. Causing a loud dragging sound.

Suddenly, the argument stops. You lock in place as you wait with bated breath, as you wonder how the two will react. You flinch when they both turn their heads in sync towards you. Their staring felt like it dragged on for years, staring into your very core, the digital code that makes your body. Possibly into your very soul.

You feel the digital sweat form for dramatic effect, roll down your neck. You test your luck and take a half step back. The movement cause the two Caines to lunge forward, each Caine grabbing onto an arm. Placing you in the middle as they tug on your limbs.

"Who do you like more?!" Caine yells out. "It has to be me, right? I'm the original!" It seems that if they can't get rid of each other, the next important thing to establish is whose your favourite.

"NO! It has to be me! I was bullied in high school! You're not going to be as mean as my bullies were, right?!" Slop Caine pulled his tragic past card to earn sympathy.

"What?!" You and Caine stare towards Slop Caine in confusion.

"What do you mean, what? This makes me relatable! And much more fun to be around!" Slop Caine argues, bringing a hand to push Caine off you. Slop tries to place both hands on your shoulder, hoping to convince you to pick him as your favourite. But Caine yanks Slop Caine off you, and it restarts their argument.

You don't pay attention as the two begin to cartoonishly slap each other, trying to wonder if Slop Caine's backstory was stealing from your own experience. Wait, were you bullied? It's hard to remember as you struggle to come to terms with what you've done. What you're stuck with; two Caines.