stay gold

My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

*first time using gay slang* you look like you're wearing a wig!! and you look like a cunt!!!

Transcript: Yesterday my cousin said that my rooster wasn't a real rooster. He said he's a Walmart rooster. *chicken noises* Does this not look like a real rooster to you? *chicken makes a sound again* Sure, he's small, but he has feelings.

important context this person looks and sounds like they’re gonna cry

Also important to note that the rooster appears to be roughly the size of a large pigeon.

The pigeon people have informed me he is the size of a normal pigeon, or perhaps even a small pigeon. Fucking rip.

no babe it's not tinnitus, you're tuned into angel radio

the best thing about tumblr is that you can watch a show and then you come here and someone has made a gifset of it and you can put it on your blog like a sticker in a journal

Look 👀 alive 😃😄 Sunshine ☀️😎 109 in the sky 🌤️☁️ but the pigs 👮👮‍♀️🐖🐖 won’t quit 😤😤😤 You’re here with me 🤙 Dr. Death Defying 😏😏 I’ll be your surgeon 😷 your proctor 👨‍🏫 your helicopter 🚁 Pumping ✊⛽ out the slaughtermatic 🔪💀 sounds 🔉🔊 to keep you alive 💯💯🤯 A system failure ☠️😠 for the masses 😢👨‍👩‍👧‍👧  antimatter⚛️👩‍🔬 for the master plan 📝💣 Louder 🔊📣 than God’s ✝️ revolver 🔫🔫 and twice ✌️ as shiny 🌟🌟 This one’s 1️⃣ for all of you rock'n'rollers 🤘👨‍🎤 All you crash queens 💥👸 and motor babies 🏍️👶 Listen up! 🗣️🗣️🗣️📢 The future ⌛⏰ is bulletproof! 🔫✊😲 The aftermath 🌋🚧 is secondary! 2️⃣‼️ It’s time ⏰ to do it now 😆 and do it loud! 😈😈 KILLJOYS 😂☝️MAKE SOME NOISE! 😄😤‼️🥁🎸💥🌡️🎵🎶🌠⚡🔥🔥

people who can decide where to put stickers must really have their life together