April is SA (sexual assault) Awareness month, so remember you are not alone.
It’s not easy to speak up when things happen, and or people unfortunately do not take the situations seriously, but this doesn’t mean what happened was okay, nor that you’re being "over dramatic" because sexual assault of ANY kind is not okay by any means, It doesn’t matter who assaulted you, if they were family, friends, strangers, lovers, younger, older, if you were both kids, if someone was under the influence, it’s all still assault, and you should not be belittled for what happened. I’ve been assaulted by friends, family members, and strangers, I was also groomed by a 25 year old women online for a few years and unfortunately it wasn’t taken seriously, I grew up being told that it was just a "life lesson." And to "Get over it" And sure, it taught me things, but not the right things nor how to cope.
Grooming is another form of assault, grooming is the act of someone falsely gaining your trust to trick you into sexual situations/favors. They might use secrecy, blame, gifts or threats of violence to stop you from telling somebody. This is because they know that if you tell someone what’s happening, they will no longer have power or control over you.
But suncatcher, How do I cope with this in a healthy way?
Well, here’s some healthier coping methods that I have found help me that might help you!
If none of these help, here’s a more in detailed list
Drawing/animating; I’ve found in moderation that expressing what happened through art has helped get out feelings I could never verbalize, as long as Theres also positive following up after the fact, it’s always okay to be upset but you don’t want to drown yourself in it or things might get worse.
Music; music has helped me ground myself better, and has been an escape for me, but something VERY important is to know what music to listen to with a good mind space, of course it can be a bit therapeutic to cry to sad music, BUT if you are not doing good and are very prone to harming yourself I would not suggest listening to triggering themed music as it can make things worse, try putting on an upbeat song or two? I mean it’s pretty hard for me to cry when pony is blasting (I can only ever visualize uncle samsonite to that song now..)
Journaling; express yourself in writing! I love writing, it’s a huge passion of mine and writing out what I’m feeling can help release some of those urges and emotions, of course just be mindful of the material you’re writing and if it’s making you feel worse to take a break
Yumeshipping (self shipping); I’ve found this comforting to an extent? I don’t anymore, but I used to and it helped me out a lot more when I was in a worse place mentally (Harvey from stardew valley and Leshy from COTL were my f/o’s for so long 💔)
Exercise; ITS SO GOOD FOR YOU AND GIVES YOU THAT PAIN ASPECT I LOVE EXERCISING!!!!!
Good sleep scheduling; Sleep is a huge part of healing from anything, getting good sleep can help put you in a better headspace, despite the fact it can be difficult (and doom scrolling is very tempting) it’s important to get good sleep and drink a bunch of water
Getting on a better diet; this can also help you largely! BUT being on a diet doesn’t mean starve yourself, it’s eating healthy portions in healthy moderations.
How to help calm down from a panic attack?
Flashbacks and memories from the incident can be very hard to deal with and can cause panic attacks, learning how to ground yourself and calm down is important
Shock; if you feel a panic attack rising grab an ice cube and hold it until it melts, your brain instantly will snap to deal with the shock of the ice cube that the panic attack will subside
Breathing/meditation; controlling your breathing is a key step in calming down from a panic attack so getting yourself to a safe space and sitting down then breathing is what I’ve found helps me the most, especially because the shock of your body being extremely tingly and shaky makes it hard to stand, I like to visualize smelling flowers then blowing out candles (breath in 5 exhale 6, these numbers can change of course, whatever helps the best)
Remember, I am NOT IN ANY WAY A PROFESSIONAL
I am speaking from experience and purely what has helped ME, but it might not always help you!
For further information on any of this please speak to a licensed professional, (ex; A doctor, therapist, etc)
I hope this can be a safe space for survivors and remember that you matter and you are very strong
