Alexis Kaye

“Oh, like a hole in the head, Lover Clown,” Lee replied as she entered her kitchen, handgun pointed at Punchline. As soon as she’d unlocked her front door, she could sense that someone else was in her home. Perhaps it was time to consider moving. This apartment seemed like an easy target. Luckily, Emeli was with Zee. “I wouldn’t call it sentimental, I kept it for scientific reasons. It did save Jim, so thanks for that.” Watching as the snake fell to the floor, she bit down on the inside of her cheek. “Of course. I can’t wait to hear how you managed to weasel your way out of Blackgate.” After closing the distance between herself and Punchline, Lee reached up with her free hand and gripped her face, forcing her to look her in the eye. “If you so much as try anything stupid, your Honeybear will make sure you end up back behind bars.”

“Don’t joke. I think you’d look great with a hole in your head.” Punchline replied with a hiss. Not seeming to mind the handgun at all. A false sense of security that a healer would not inflict damage on another person. She shook her head, “Well! I wasn’t exactly expecting you to keep the fucking thing.” She said raising her leg and stomping down on top of it with a furious stomp. Listening to the satisfying crunch beneath her heavy boot. Kicking it’s pieces towards the doctor before crossing her arms. “Oh, I’m sure you’d love to know! But I won’t be telling you. It’s my dirty little secret to keep.” Lee approached her and Punchline blinked with surprise. Feeling her hand against her face- squishing her cheeks. She got out a snicker. “Oh, and how will you do that? Will you send your friend after me? Because I’ll simply make sure he ends up dead next time.” 

“That particular blend was mixed with Sage and Eucalyptus to mask the smell. He shouldn’t have such a strong reaction…. well unless he’s epileptic. They are known to cause seizures…huh.” Jade shrugged before opening her bag and laying out the different poisons and concoctions Punchline had ordered. She snapped her fingers when the girl started taking pictures. “Hey Twisty, Pay attention I’m only going to say this once and I’ll be pissed if you kill yourself.” Jade told her . “color coded. Orange is aconite. Other wise known as Wolfs bane. Get it directly on your skin and you’re paralyzed in 15 minutes. Wear THICK gloves. Antidote is just about anything that will give you a huge adrenalin rush. Purple must be ingested. It’s English Yew and there’s NO antidote. So you better besure when you use it. Varies on the body type but usually an hour or so before results. Ans then there’s my personal favorite Strychnine Tree.  Symptoms vary - vomiting, contortions of the face, severe convulsions, almost certain death. But it’s fast acting and long lasting. Can take hours before it kills you. Great for torture. Antidote is green.”

“Oh, whoops! I didn’t even check his medical history.” Punchline said with a smile, taking a couple of pictures before cocking her head. “This could be a lot more... visually interesting. Remind me to pick up spray paint later.” She said. Not specifying what for, she finally turned to give Jade her full attention when she snapped her fingers at her. A smirk stretched across her face when Jade said she’d be pissed if she killed herself. Taking a few steps so she was right beside her, she pointed to each colour as Jade spoke them. “I have to admit. You’re the best for this kind of stuff. We should really team up more often. But don’t be so worried about me, darling. I’m not going to get myself killed. At least... not like this.”

Pam snorted softly. “Oh, is that what you’re known for?” She glanced over at the hyenas as they enjoyed Punchline’s treat, before looking back at the woman herself as Punchline leaned in close. “Oh, I just missed you terribly,” she said archly. “I felt your absence every day.” Which was true, though she didn’t elaborate on just how. 

“Somehow I doubt that.” She said once Pamela said she missed her terribly. Pulling back from the other woman, she felt herself sigh. Her relationship with Pamela was a complicated one. Of course, she respected the way she slaughtered people in the name of plants. It was a fun little gimmick and of course, there was the way she controlled people with pheromones. As someone who played around with chemicals, she couldn’t help but admire it. The only thing she didn’t like has how quickly she took Harley after her arrest. She hummed to herself. “I’d normally try to kill you for replacing me... but the trouble is. I really like your spunk.” 

“Is that whatcha want? Fer me ta wrap my thighs around yer head and pop it off like a Barbie doll?” Harley had always enjoyed how violent Alexis was. They were the same when it came to their anger – no control, only chaos and destruction. Blood and screams. The scar from where the other woman had bitten her years ago felt like it was burning, and she couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. Her smile soon faded when she felt teeth gently sink into her earlobe, though. The way it made her feel was dangerous. If she gave into it, she could lose everything she’d worked so hard to gain over the past few years. Letting out a shaky breath, she tried to force her brain to start working again. But her body felt like it was vibrating. “Always gotta play a dangerous game with me, ain’t’cha?” Harley asked, tongue darting out to wet her lips as she stared into green eyes.

Reaching out, Harley took Alexis’s hand in her own, guiding it to her throat. The scar she’d left was still raised and visible, a constant reminder of when she’d almost been bested. “Is that a threat or a promise, sweetie? Ya know I like it kinky,” she smirked. Peeking out from behind their hiding spot, she looked around to see if they had a safe route to the store. Not that it mattered if they didn’t, they were both always armed and ready for a brawl. Turning to face Alexis again, she pressed the tip of her index fingernail into the soft flesh beneath the woman’s chin. “Ya got my back, Pack-a-Punch? Yer not gonna run an’ leave me again?” Of course she will! You can’t trust her. She betrayed ME, just like you did, Harley girl. Birds of a feather stick together, but not you two. “Shut up!” Harley hissed, turning her head away. “She won’t, I’m just like her,” she whispered, shaking her head.

.

Her green eyes sparkled with enthusiasm at Harley’s words. “Think this through, Harley. You sure you want your thighs around my pretty little neck? Because I heard from a little jailbird that you found someone else to squeeze.” She said, batting her eyelashes at her. She took no time to move on from her. To replace her with someone else. If she had been Joker, Punchline would have wasted no time slitting the neck of her replacement but this was Harley. And their relationship didn’t garner that same burning jealousy. Perhaps it was because she wasn’t obsessed with her but she didn’t allow herself to think about it further. Thoughts like that tended to send her spiralling until she was dizzy in the mind. “Yeah, but you love it.” 

Harley’s hand gripped her own. Forcing it up to feel the raised scar on her throat. Her long nails gently dragged along it as if teasing that she might dig into it and try to open it back up. She’d done this harm to her what felt like ages ago but she could still hear the gurgling and and the splattering like it was yesterday. Their feud was quick but violent. Harley had managed to worm her way into her ear. Whispering thoughts of traitorous doubts in her mind. Planting them like seeds to sprout later. Joker said he loved her but turned around and gave her a quick and harsh punishment every time she didn’t reach his expectations. Her mind was so muddled back then. Confused. That she’d let those seeds grow until he ended up dead. She wasn’t sure if she should kiss Harley for it or kill her. Harley asked if she had her back and she narrowed her gaze. Staring at her through dark lashes. “Yes, I’ve got your-” Her words were cut off by Harley screaming at someone else. Someone who wasn’t there and Punchline found herself glancing around. “Harls... who are you talking to?”

Martin watched the other he’d known of Punchline; it was something of his favorite pastime learning all the new villains that Gotham called home. ‘Hardly scared after all the GCPD can barely find their own asses to scratch.’ he typed out before watching her pocket the money. ‘He is a tad busy at the moment, but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if I kept you company while he finishes up.’ he typed before turning around back towards the door holding it open for her. `Plus it gives me a chance to meet another legend, I’ve heard rumors about you that I’d love to see if it’s true.”

“Then let a girl rob if she wants to.” Punchline said, reaching up and ruffling the boys hair. A smile just itching to spread over her features but she just barely held it down. “Too busy for little ol’ me?” She challenged. Taking a few steps into the room when he held the door open for her. “Cool place.” She said, meaning it both as an actual comment and as a joke. It was cold in there. They took their iceberg theme a little too seriously. Punchline let out a sudden laugh when she finally took in his words. “I don’t have to prove myself to a little twerp like you but stick around. I’m in a stabby mood. Maybe you’ll catch a show.” 

At first, Harley thought her mind was playing tricks on her. She hadn’t seen Alexis since she’d left her. Last she’d heard, she was still in Blackgate. There were times when she’d thought about rescuing her, but why bother? Her ex could never love her the way she wanted her to. Joker still had a hold on her, which Harley understood, but it still sucked. It was karma for putting Pam through the same thing for so many years. She just sat there, blinking as she tried to focus. The chaos happening around her wasn’t even important anymore. It had completely slipped her mind that she’d just thrown a hand grenade into a store. Reaching out, she poked Alexis’s cheek, checking she was real. When she realised that she was, her brow furrowed, and she glared at the other clown. “WHAT THE FUCK, PUNCHLINE!” 

Torn between smacking Alexis in the face or hugging her, she went for the second option. As angry as she was at her, she’d still missed her more than she’d ever be able to express. Her arms squeezed the other tightly, and she let out a loud growl of frustration down her ear. “I’m fuckin’ mad at ya,” she whispered, then kissed Alexis’s cheek as she let her go. “But that don’t mean I ain’t missed yer stupid, dumb face.”

.

Harley poked her face and she moved slightly back. Cocking her head as she glanced her over. Did she think she wasn’t real? Wasn’t really there ducking behind the car with her? Her green eyes travelled down Harley’s pale skin. Any pigment all burned off by bubbling acid. He’d left his signature on her. Just as he’d done to the fish in the harbour. Leaving his mark on her and leaving his mark on the city. She used to have a problem with it. That Harley had always been special. But now... now she liked it. It was the physical embodiment of what made the two of them the same and yet so different. Two sides of a coin. Or was that too Two-facey? Harley screamed at her and Punchline could feel a smirk tugging at her lips. 

The hug was a bit of a shock but she felt herself leaning into her touch, as if desperate for it. What’s wrong with me? I’m supposed to be a stone cold killer. She reminded herself. Giggling at her words when she said she was mad at her. Leaning closer to her ear, she whispered into it. “Oh, yeah? What’re you gonna do about it? Fight me? Like old times...” Reaching forwards, she nipped her earlobe. Her teeth only letting go of the other woman when she pulled back. Harley kissed her cheek and blinked at her. “You know. I think I missed yours too. Tell anyone, and I’ll slit your throat again.” She joked. “Police will be here soon. We might as well take advantage of the store while we can.”

“Oh, you poor boy. You’re scared of the Police?” Punchline teased, pocketing the money she got from the ATM outside. “Is your daddy home?” She asked, waltzing further into the Iceberg Lounge. It may have been closed right now but the way she saw it. It was the best time to see Oswald. That strange little man she’d only met properly in Blackgate. When he wanted to, he could really garner respect. Including her own. A task that was difficult to pull off.  

“As you should, kitty. I took my time with that one.” She acknowledged. “And I would have went for longer if his heart didn’t give out. Too much stress, I’m sure. Thanks for the assist. Did you see the way his eyes rolled back into his thick skull?” She laughed. Just getting out of prison, she didn’t have her hands on any toxins yet. Going to Jade made things much easier. “I assure you. This one deserved it. He was slandering my name all over social media. Now this will be his last post.” Taking out the man’s phone. Punchline took a step back and cocked her head as she framed the picture of him. “Say cheese.” 

“Did you miss me, Honeybear?” Punchline said. She’d stripped off her jacket and left it haphazardly on the kitchen floor once she came in. Sitting on the countertop with her legs crossed and a frozen snake in her lap. “I see you still have the little gift I gave you. I didn’t know you were the sentimental type.” She said, slipping of the counter and letting the snake fall off her lap and onto the floor. “Got time to pencil me in, doc?”