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LOVED the rhysand fic!!! pllllsss can u make part 2šššš like right after, with the recovery, the trauma, maybe her don't wanting to be touched by anyone
ššššš
Hi, thank youu š«¶š» I am currently working on a different oneshot, but Iāll surely think about it, it might be interesting to write. Just be patient with me š
Shadows of the past - Rhysand x Reader
summary: They got ambushed and she was taken into captivity. Shadows of the past hunting her down. Harsh truth revealing itself not just once. He will do everything in his power to save her and kill anyone who harmed her. word count: 4,4k warnings: blood, description of torture, abuse
a/n: So I am currently reading ACOSF and Iām lacking the Rhysand content and when I tried to find some fanfics, all i found was either smut or fluff, and well I love angst and when the reader needs to be saved or is in danger and so on. So I decided to write what I would have liked to read. Also itās just a simple fanfic so, donāt come at me, if itās not really accurate :)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
She woke up to darkness. The only light came from the pair of torches mounted to the high stone walls, their flames casting jagged shadows that seemed to crawl toward her. The air was damp, heavy with the stench of mildew, iron and blood.
Her mind tried to fight for the fog, reaching desperately for fragments of memory. Anything to explain how sheād ended up here. But nothing came. She instinctively reached for her power, for the comforting pulse of magic in her veins. Nothing answered. The silence where her power should have been made her chest tighten.
She shifted, but a cold metal bit into her wrists and ankles. Chains rattled, mocking her with their weight. Lying on a wooden table. That was when panic truly began to set in, sharp, merciless, and inescapable.
āSheās awake,ā a voice slithered through the dark, low and rasping, sending a shiver crawling up her spine. From the shadows, a figure emerged, his presence as suffocating as the chains around her.
āDo you remember me?ā he asked, stepping into the torchlight. Her breath hitched, memories she had buried long ago clawed their way back, tearing through the fog of her mind. Him. The monster who had carved into her flesh centuries ago, twisting her into something she was never meant to be. The reason she had the powers she carried, powers that were never a gift, but a curse born of his cruelty.
Her throat tightened, but she forced the trembling down, swallowing the fear.
āWe should continue where we left off, little one.ā His voice was almost gentle, almost kind, but the smile that stretched across his face was to mock her. It wasnāt warmth, it was hunger. His hand reached out, fingers brushing against her hair with grotesque familiarity.
She turned her face away, refusing him her gaze, though a hot tear slipped down her cheek, betraying her.
āYour father would be so disappointed in you,ā he sneered, and his grip closed around her arm with bruising force. Before she could jerk away, a sharp sting pierced her skin. Something burned as it spread through her veins, heavy and smothering.
She felt the heaviness, as her body betrayed her, eyelids dragging shut despite her desperate will to fight. The last thing she saw was the smile again, hovering above her, before the darkness swallowed her whole.
They were surrounded. Too many to count, shadows closing in from every angle. Magic flickered uselessly beneath their skin, smothered by whatever curse or spell had been laid over the battlefield. No power. No escape. Just the old fashioned way, steel against steel.
Blades clashed, sparks flying in the night, but every strike pushed them back a step further. The enemy pressed in, relentless, until the two of them were fighting back-to-back, cornered, bleeding, and still refusing to yield.
An arrow whistled through the chaos, burying itself into Rhysandās wing. He staggered but did not fall. Another followed, and then a third. Ash-tipped. Poison to his very bones. He gritted his teeth, forcing himself upright, but she could feel the strength leaking from him with every shallow breath. And no one was coming.
āRhysā¦ā Her voice broke on his name, soft and desperate, barely audible over the din of battle.
His violet eyes met hers, heavy with pain and something deeper, something final. She wanted to believe his silence was reassurance, but all she could see was resignation.
āWeāll get through this,ā she whispered, though her throat ached with the lie.
The fight raged on, but exhaustion was merciless. Blades found flesh, and blood stained the ground beneath them. At last, their bodies gave out, collapsing onto the cold, unyielding earth.
And then it happened. In the haze of agony and fading consciousness, a thread snapped taut in her chest, binding itself to him. The bond, searing, undeniable, locking them together at the very moment they were about to be torn apart.
His gasp told her he felt it too.
But before she could reach for him, before she could do anything to keep him tethered to her, a brutal blow struck her head. The world tilted. Her vision blurred. She fell to her knees, and the last thing she saw before darkness claimed her was his body, broken and still, lying in the blood-soaked dirt.
Her mate.
Rhysand woke up in his bed, body aching as though every bone had been shattered and pieced back together again. His wings, bandaged and mended, still throbbed with a dull, burning pain. But none of it mattered.
What hollowed him out wasnāt the injuries. It was the silence that had the shape of her. The emptiness where she should have been.
Why had the bond only revealed itself now, at the brink of their end when he couldnāt do anything to help her? Why not years ago? Why not when it could have saved them both? Questions churned through his mind like a storm, but he shoved them aside. There was only one that mattered: where was she?
He reached inward, desperate for that thread, the one that had snapped into place just before the darkness took him. His mate. The woman who had been at his side for centuries, the one he had trusted beyond reason, had been tethered to him in truth at the very last possible moment. He almost missed it, but it was there, faint, fragile, dampened, not brokenā¦
Pain stabbed through his entire body with every movement he made, but he forced himself upright, ignoring the ache that threatened to buckle him. Every step toward the living space was a battle against the weight pressing down on him, grief, rage, fear, but he moved anyway.
The living space fell silent the moment he entered. Four pairs of eyes, his family, lifted toward him. The air was thick with unspoken words, but he didnāt care.
āWhere is she?ā His voice was rough, torn from somewhere deep, but it carried through the room like a command.
Cassian was on his feet at once, moving toward him, but there was hesitation in his step. āRhysā¦ā He exhaled, wings shifting restlessly. āShe wasnāt there when we found you. Itās like she just⦠vanished.ā He rubbed the back of his neck. āThereās no trace of her.ā
āHow long?ā Rhys demanded, eyes locking on his brother as though willing the answer to give him direction, purpose, a path to her.
Cassiansās jaw tightened. āTwo days.ā
Rhys staggered back a step, catching himself on the wall. The world tilted, rage and terror flooding his veins. His fists clenched, nails biting into his palms.
āThen find her.ā His voice shook, not with weakness, but with the force of what was barely restrained inside him. āI donāt care what it takes, I donāt care where we have to go, who we have to kill⦠We find her.ā
Azriel, shadows curling tighter around him, stepped closer, his gaze sharp. āWhat is it, brother?ā His tone was careful, though the shadows whispered as though they already knew.
Rhys swallowed, his throat tight. For the first time since he could remember, his voice wavered as he whispered, āSheās⦠my mate.ā
The silence that followed was suffocating. Cassianās eyes widened, Mor pressed a hand to her mouth, and even Azrielās composure cracked for a heartbeat.Ā Amren simply sat, expression unreadable, her gaze sharp as a blade.
But Rhysand only stared at the floor, chest heaving, a vow already written in the darkness of his heart: he would tear apart the world itself to bring her back.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Ā
The world was nothing but pain.
She didnāt know how long sheād been chained in the dark. Hours, days, weeks. Time blurred when every breath was measured between waves of agony. Her wrists bled where iron bit into them, her magic pressed down beneath some vile shackle that left her hollow and cold. Her body trembled with exhaustion, teetering on the edge of giving in entirely.
The creak of the door made her stomach twist into knots.
āStill aliveā the voice drawled, calm, almost tender. Her captor stepped into the flickering torchlight, his smile a mask of delight. āWeāre gonna have so much fun together today.ā
She twisted against the chains, desperate to break free, to reach for even a fraction of the power that had once run through her veins. But it was useless. They had sedated her, weakened her, and stripped away every edge of strength she had. Every attempt to resist only drew a sharp satisfaction from him.
āWill you take up on my offer?ā he asked her, stepping closer, holding a sharp dagger. āOr are you still refusing to talk?āĀ
The cold steel pressed to her skin as he slowly dragged it along her arm. Pain flared and she hissed, but her fear was matched only by her fury. She refused to give him the satisfaction of tears.
āOh, I seeā¦ā His eyes gleamed as he paused, letting the tip of the blade linger at her neck, slicing open a thin line of blood. She hissed again, the sting sharp and electric against her raw nerves.
The flicker of impatience in his gaze made her stomach swirl. āI promised my Lord I would let you live,ā he murmured, voice calm but deadly, ābut that doesnāt mean I canāt bring you to the brink of death.ā
The blade drove into her side. Pain exploded through her ribs, hot and tearing. She screamed, the sound echoing through the dungeon, raw and unrestrained. And then, as slowly and deliberately as he had driven it in, he pulled it back. Every movement was meant to break her piece by piece, mind and body, to make her beg for mercy she refused to give.
By the end of the night, she felt herself slipping.Ā
Her body screamed in protest, every bone and muscle aching as if theyād been shattered and sewn back together countless times. She had long since stopped counting how many times he had carved into her, how many times he had snapped her bones, broken her down piece by piece. Her throat burned raw from screaming, and yet⦠somehow, she was still alive.
āJust a monster made for destruction," he spat, gutting her again with a precision that made her stagger and almost lose consciousness. āYou betrayed us. We gave you everything and this is how you repay us?ā
Each strike, each word, was heavier than the last, laced with his anger and frustration. It wasnāt enough to hurt her physically anymore, he was determined to crush her spirit. She tried to scream, but her voice failed her, nothing but a rasping whisper. She was exhausted, broken, a shadow.
And then, as he finally left for the night, silence returned. Pain still burned through her body, but the quiet gave her room to breathe, to remember. Memories flooded her mind like shards of sunlight through storm clouds.
She was born a human girl, centuries ago, when the world worked differently.Ā Her father had been a tyrant, seeking only power, indifferent to her suffering. She was his only daughter, and in his eyes, that made her worthless. So he had made her into a weapon: granted her immortality, bound pieces of every court into her blood, and twisted her into something no one would recognize as human. Forty years of servitude, pain, and manipulation.
And then she had escaped. Velaris had been her sanctuary, a place that had held her like a mother, a family who loved her for herself. The thought of them warmed the icy pit in her chest.Ā
They had to come for her. They had to. She clung to that hope like a lifeline, though each passing moment reminded her of how little time she had left. How much longer could she endure this? How much longer before even hope began to fade?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Ā
āA week,ā Cassian growled, slamming his fist against the table so hard the wood groaned in protest. āA god-damned week, and we have nothing.ā Every lead they had turned cold, every shadow had seemed to mock them.Ā
Rhysandās rage simmered beneath the surface, a constant pulse of fire he struggled to control and the Inner Circle felt it, each of them weighed down by the desperation that came from not knowing where she was or if she was even still alive.
āNothing,ā Cassian repeated, softer this time, almost broken. He shoved a hand through his hair, his jaw tight. āItās like she disappeared off the face of Prythian.ā
Azrielās shadows lashed across the walls, restless, seething with the same frustration that burned in his golden-brown eyes. āWeāre missing something,ā he muttered, voice low, teeth clenched. āShe didnāt just vanish into thin air.ā
Mor groaned and leaned back in her chair, pressing her hands to her temples as if she could squeeze answers from her skull. āWeāve searched the courts. The roads. The mountains. Every godsdamned corner of this land. Nothing.ā Her voice cracked, and for once her laughter, her bright spark, was gone.
The High Lord stayed quiet, thinking, plotting. He sat too still, the silence around him deafening. Heād been clawing for the bond every waking moment, reaching, begging, but it answered only faintly, hollow, a thread so weak it barely pulsed. But it was there. Alive. That was the only thing keeping him upright, the only thing holding back the tidal wave of despair.
Amren, silent as ever, watched him with sharp, calculating eyes. āYouāre too close to the storm to see it.ā Her silver eyes cut to Rhys. āYouāre drowning in it. You need to step back. Look again. Or youāll miss whatās right in front of you.ā
Azriel exhaled harshly, dragging a scarred hand through his dark hair. āThen what are we missing?ā His shadows coiled tighter, as though demanding the answer he couldnāt give.
For the first time in hours, Rhysand moved. He lifted his head, violet eyes burning, distant and sharp all at once. His mind ran back over everything. The ambush, the fight, the chaos. And then, a memory clawed to the surface. The look on her face.
āShe knew them.ā His voice was quiet, but it cut through the room like steel.
The shadows froze. Even the fire in the hearth seemed to still. āWhat?ā Azrielās head snapped toward him.
Rhysās hands curled into fists, his knuckles white. āWhen they attacked us⦠she recognized them. I saw it.ā His throat worked as he forced the words out, as the memory burned through him. āShe was terrified.ā
The silence that followed was suffocating. Because they all knew what it meant.
They hadnāt just been fighting enemies. They had been fighting ghosts from her past.
The room seemed to tilt with Rhysās words.
Cassian swore, pacing the length of the chamber, fists clenched at his sides. āCauldron, Rhys, if she knew them, if theyāre tied to her past, why didnāt she ever tell us?ā His voice cracked, equal parts anger and grief. āDid she not trust us, did she not find us worthy?ā Everyone could sense the hurt in his voice.
āIt wasnāt about trust,ā Mor whispered, eyes glassy, her voice ragged. āShe would have taken it upon herself rather than drag us in,ā she murmured. There was something in her eyes, now, that suggested she knew more than sheād let on. Sheād held confidences before, secrets folded into her like paper.
Azriel leaned forward, shadows writhing like vipers, his gaze fixed and unyielding. āWhat exactly did you see?ā
Rhysās jaw tightened. He could still picture it, her wide eyes, the way her face had gone pale, how her movements had faltered for a fraction of a heartbeat before sheād forced herself to fight on. āRecognition. Fear. Not the fear of strangers, it was something older, deeper. Like sheād been running from them her whole life.ā
The words seemed to thrum in the room, sparking something in Azrielās shadows. They stilled. Then, slowly, they whispered, curling around his ear, tugging him toward something long buried. āHer father,ā he said at last, his voice low, dangerous.
Cassian froze mid-step. āWhat about him?ā
āShe never spoke of him,ā Azriel continued, shadows coiling tighter around his shoulders. āNot in detail. But Iāve dug into records before, whispers, rumors, half-truths. He was cruel. Obsessive. And he dabbled in things even the Courts wouldnāt touch. Experiments. Bargains best left forgotten.ā
Morās face paled. āAre you sayingā¦āĀ
āIām saying,ā Azriel cut in, eyes flashing, āthat if anyone wanted to see her broken, remade into something unnatural, it would be him. Or those tied to him.ā
A heavy silence fell.
Azriel continued, āCenturies ago, there were groups, those who thought they could remake nature for profit or arrogance. Instruments of cruelty who used other courtsā power, grafted things together. If anyone wanted to break someone down to build them anew, they would be the sort who would sanction it.
Amrenās voice cut like a whitestone. āShe mentioned once a gathering, men and women not of any court, playing at altering nature. I thought of them as a cult of the wealthy and cruel. ā Her interest back then had been casual, now it was a sieve of memory catching essentials. āThey were near the borders with the Day Court at that time.ā
Rhysand felt the room narrow to a point of decision. Each possibility was worse than the last: that they had taken her for study, for power, for pleasure. Each was an affront to everything he protected. Fury reassembled itself around his grief, clean, honed.
āThen we start there,ā he said, rising with a slow, inexorable certainty. Even wounded and raw, his presence filled the space like a tide.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Ā
Days blurred into each other until time lost meaning. She kept count the way a drowning person counts breaths, one more, one more, but the numbers slid away, useless. Her body was a ledger of new injuries: fresh cuts crisscrossing old scars, skin torn apart, new bruises forming on top of the old ones.
They fed her things that should not have been put into a living throat. Some liquids tore her apart and pushed her back through the worst moments until she tasted ash and heard screams that were not just her own. Others made her power flare and die in cruel, jagged pulses, as if she was made of fire. The pain was a curriculum: different instructors, different techniques, all aiming to make her forget she was whole.
How long has it been? A week? Longer? The sun had become a rumor. Hope was a thin thread she clung to because there was nothing else. And even that was slowly slipping through her trembling fingers.
The quiet in the cell was not peaceful, it was a patient thing that waited to be broken. A voice cut it like a blade. Cold, amused, practiced. āDoes your High Lord even care about you?ā the man asked, as though he were reading a line from a play meant to humiliate.
She wanted to answer with fire. Her throat closed instead. All she could do was lift her eyes to him.
āUnbrakeable little thing, arenāt you?ā he mocked, stepping close so she could smell the liquor on his breath. He seized her chin between two fingers and forced her to meet his gaze. His grip was hard enough to bruise. There was a malevolent curiosity in his smile, as if he delighted in measuring how much a person could carry before they snapped.
He poured something down her throat, hot, bitter, a burning that crawled like wildfire through her stomach and into the back of her eyes. For a moment the world blurred. How much longer could she hold on? How much longer until she breaks, until there is nothing left?
He dragged a thin blade along the skin of her forearm, not deep enough to be fatal, but close enough to make her entire body react. The razorās whisper sent a tremor through her, and she swallowed a scream until it lodged in her chest like a stone.
But he continued and the longer he kept going the harder it was for her to hold on. Until she couldnāt anymore. He kept testing, deliberate, small tortures, because slow work frays even the strongest seams. Each pass made the defiance inside her thinner, harder to find.
āCome back to us, and this will stop,ā he said, his voice honeyed with a promise he did not intend to keep.
Every inch of her wanted to say yes just to stop the pain. Every part of her that belonged to herself answered in a single soundless vow. āNever,ā she spat, voice ragged and molten with everything that was left of her pride.
His face changed in an instant, sudden, brutal. Fists met her cheek, each impact a little death, ribs taking blows that stole the air from her lungs. The world fell into a scatter of stars and black edges. He wrenched her hair in a fierce, humiliating grip that made her teeth clack and her scalp shriek. He pressed close, breath cold and cruel against her ear. āNo oneās coming,ā he whispered, and a laugh, thin and savage, slipped out. āYouāre all mine now.ā
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Ā
It took them three days to find the fortress where she was being held. Three days of hunting whispers, tearing through false trails, chasing the faintest pulse of the bond that Rhysand clung to like a dying man clutching his last breath. The place was buried in the marrow of the mountains, veiled in runes that devoured light and cloaked themselves in illusions so strong even Azrielās shadows had recoiled. But eventually they found it.
Amren had remained behind, her power better suited to guarding Velaris should the enemy strike again. But the rest of them, Rhys, Cassian, Azriel, Mor, came with the full weight of their fury, their grief, their terror disguised as determination.
The night was moonless, a perfect cloak for what they had to do. The closer they came, the thicker the air became, buzzing with ancient wards and the stink of old magic. Every step was a reminder: she was inside this place. Alone. And every heartbeat that passed was another heartbeat stolen from her.
Rhys felt her but barely. A flicker of the bond, faint as smoke, but it was there. Alive. Still fading. The taste of it nearly drove him to his knees. His mate, broken and waiting for him.
Cassian gripped his shoulder once, hard enough to bruise. āWeāll get her out, brother.ā His voice was steel wrapped in grief.
Azrielās shadows twisted restlessly, wrapping around his frame like a living storm. His siphons burned dim, hungry. Morās usually bright eyes were dark, a quiet rage shimmering there, her hands clenched so tight her knuckles were white.
They broke through the outer defenses first. Silent, efficient. Azrielās blades found throats before alarms could sound, Cassianās strength snapped chains and broke wards with brute force. Mor cut through illusions with raw power, the air hissing in her wake. And Rhys, High Lord of the Night Court, walked like death itself, shadows curling off his skin, violet eyes glowing as the bond dragged him deeper into the heart of the fortress.
The chaos only began when they were discovered. The halls echoed in screams as the spy master and general moved with efficiency and one simple goal. They were followed by the High Lord, whose power roared through the walls, desperately trying to get to her.
No one could stop them. No one. Every ward torn down, every scream silenced, every body that dared to stand in their path left crumpled in the shadows. The fortress trembled under the weight of their fury. And deep underground, in a place that stank of old blood and darker magic, she was waiting.
They carved through the last hall. Cassianās wings were slick with blood and soot, Azrielās shadows curled and hissed like a living storm, Morās power thrummed at a pitch that made the stone walls quake. None of them slowed. None of them spoke. Every second counted.
When the High Lord stepped into the chamber, the world shattered.
She lay sprawled on a splintered wooden table, one arm hanging limply off the edge, blood dripping in slow, obscene beats onto the stone floor. Her body was a ruin of pain, blood and bruises, her skin carved into, blond hair tangled with blood, her skin pale and clammy, her lips cracked and bloodied. Her eyes were closed. She looked so still. Too still.
āCauldron,ā Mor whispered, a broken sound. She moved forward but her knees nearly buckled, her face pale. Cassian swore viciously, his wings flaring wide like a predator in pain. Azrielās shadows shrieked silently against the walls, writhing and clawing at invisible enemies.
Rhysās knees almost gave out. His chest cracked open, the bond flaring so violently he thought it might rip him apart. āY/N.ā The name tore out of him, ragged and broken.
He crossed the room in an instant, magic curling off him in waves of violet and black. His hand trembled as he brushed her cheek, terrified heād find her cold. āDarlingā¦ā His voice cracked, a whisper laced with terror. āPlease.ā
Her eyelids fluttered, just barely. Pain etched every line of her face, but her eyes found his, glassy and dazed.
āItās okay,ā he whispered, and the words sounded more like a plea than a promise.
āRhysā¦ā Her voice was the faintest ghost of a sound. But it was her. It was enough to make his breath hitch. She leaned, weak and trembling, into his palm. And then her eyes slipped closed again, too heavy to hold open.
āNoāno, no, no,ā he breathed, panic sharpening his words. He gathered her up against his chest, careful, so careful, as if she might break further in his arms. āStay with me, please. Stay with me. Donāt you dare leave me, not now.ā
His wings curved protectively around them both. āIāve got you,ā he whispered again, fierce as a vow. āIāve got you, and Iām not letting go.ā
Stay - Bellamy Blake x Reader
summary: A month had passed, nothing seemed to change, until danger came lurking again. Breaking something in both reader and Bellamy. word count: 3,3k warnings: mentions of blood, injury, also a bit of smut (but nothing too descriptive), but hey also fluff - finally :)
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, bonus part
A month had passed since the rescue mission. Thirty days of circling. Of almost. Of stolen glances when the other wasnāt looking. Of brushing shoulders when passing by but never stopping. Late night talks by the fire about everything and nothing at the same, just never about them, never about that night.
Because if they did, theyād have to admit it. And that kind of honesty could destroy everything.
Everyone saw it but them. The way Bellamyās gaze would find her even across camp. The way she stood taller when she knew he was watching. The way they both stood close to each other whenever they could.
Monty once muttered. āJust kiss already.ā Raven rolled her eyes. āPlease. At this point, theyāll stab each other first.ā
They were fire and restraint. Tension barely held together by silence and fear. Too stubborn to speak, too terrified of what it would mean if they did.
And then it happened again. Another close call.
Bellamy offered to take her out on patrol himself, someone had to do it either way, so why not the two of them, right? They worked well together.Ā
No one argued. Not because it was smart, but because maybe being alone in the woods would finally break them open.
As they were walking through the woods the ambush came unexpectedly. A blur of shouting, steel, the thud of bodies hitting dirt. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him wrestling with someone twice his size, the fight brutal and messy and a gun pointed at him from across the clearing.
She didnāt hesitate, ran, shoved him hard, just in time for the bullet to miss. They hit the ground and she could already feel the sticky liquid running down her tight. The bullet grazed her badly. Deep enough to burn, not deep enough to stop her from getting back up. Not yet.Ā
They fought through it. Together. Until the forest was still again, their breathing ragged in the aftermath.Ā
Thatās when he realized. āYour leg,ā he pointed out, āyouāre bleeding.āĀ
She looked at the wound, it wasnāt anything critical, but as the adrenaline rush was coming down, her knees buckled. In an instant he was there to catch her. āShit,ā he muttered.
āHey, hey, youāre okay,ā he said more to himself like a mantra. He secured the bleeding with some gauze he brought with him just in case. āCan you try and stand up for me?ā he asked her, worry spread across his face. She just nodded, even though her face was pale, jaw clenched against the pain.
She nodded, even though her face was pale, jaw clenched against the pain. She slung an arm over his shoulders, leaned into him and with a hiss of breath she forced herself upright.
They walked. Slow, limping. But alive.
They got back together. Again. Clarke had to patch her up. Again.Ā
But this time Bellamy was there, waiting, and didn't leave her side. Something in him shifted. Heād come so close to losing her again. He felt the panic in his chest.
They didnāt have all the time in the world.
And if he didnāt stop hiding, heād lose her to more than bullets.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
She woke up in her tent later that evening, sore but alive. The pain was dull now, muted by whatever herbs Clarke had used.Ā
Her blanket slipped slightly as she pushed up on her elbows, blinking slowly toward the sound of low murmurs outside. Not voices - just the forest and the fire. And him
Bellamy sat by the flames, elbows on his knees, jaw tight, like he hadnāt moved in hours lost in his thoughts. Firelight danced across his face, throwing gold and shadow across his brow, his cheekbones, the curve of his mouth.
She stepped out quietly, wrapped in the blanket. He didnāt hear her at first, until she was close enough for the fire to touch her skin.
āYouāre supposed to be resting,ā he rasped, standing up. His voice rough from hours of silence or too much fear. Maybe both.
She stepped closer to him. āYou should be too,ā her eyes searched his face. āBut here you are acting like Iām made of glass.ā
His eyes darted to the dirt. āYou really know how to scare the hell out of a guy,ā he muttered.
She reached out, fingertips brushing the back of his hand - tentative, trembling. But he didnāt pull away. Not this time.Ā
āIām tired of pretending,ā she whispered.
His voice cracked when he finally answered. āYou think Iām not?ā
āThen why do you keep pulling away?ā Her voice cracked, frustration breaking through as her eyes began to sting.
He looked up, finally. And she saw it. The exhaustion, the guilt, the fear carved into every line of his face. āBecause,ā he said, voice rising with desperation, āthe moment I admit it, it becomes real. And if something happens to you againā¦ā
āSomething already happened to me,ā she said, voice raising. āAnd I didnāt think about giving up. I thought about you. About how I might never get to tell you?ā
He looked at her now, really looked. āTell me what?ā
She stepped closer, right into his space, inches between them. āThat Iām in love with you, Bellamy Blake.ā Her voice broke. āThat I have been for a long time. That Iām so tired of pretending it doesnāt tear me apart every time you look at me like that and say nothing.ā
He just stared at her, didnāt answer. He wasnāt sure if she was someone who he deserved. But he couldnāt survive without her.
And then without a second thought he kissed her.
It wasnāt soft. It was far away from perfect. It felt like a crash, all emotions, the ache and months of pent-up everything. His hands cupped her face like heād lose her again if he let go. Her fingers tangled in his curls, grounding herself in the heat of him.
When they finally pulled apart, breathless, he whispered, forehead pressed to hers, āI love you too. Iāve loved you for what feels like eternity.ā
And in the dark quiet, wrapped in the scent of pine and smoke and blood and skin, they finally stopped pretending.
He just wrapped his arms around her, tugging her close like it was instinct. Like it was the only place he felt steady, burying his face in the crock of her neck.
And for the first time in weeks, maybe months, neither of them felt like they were falling apart.
Under the hush of the trees and the crackle of the dying fire, they werenāt soldiers, or leaders, or anything anyone needed them to be.
They were just two people ā bruised, broken, whole in each other.
And for once, that was enough.
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Later that night the camp had settled into rare silence, firelight flickering in low embers as most turned in for the night. A quiet hush had fallen over everything, the kind that only came after the chaos.
They were sitting outside her tent, side by side, her arm looped though his, fingers brushing his wrist in idle pattern. Her head rested against his shoulder like it belonged there, like maybe it always had.Ā
āYou okay?ā he asked her after a moment.
She let out a breath. āYeah. Just⦠thinking.ā
āAbout?ā His tone was careful, not sure if he wanted an answer.
She tilted her face toward the fire, eyes catching the glow of the dying fire. āHow it still feels like all of this could be taken away in a second.ā
His jaw tightened. He understood that feeling all too well, the fragility of everything theyād built. āIt could,ā he admitted. āBut not tonight.ā
She didnāt answer right away. Just stared into the dying flames like they were holding something she couldnāt name. āI would do anything to keep everyone safe,ā she paused, āto keep you safe.ā
He didnāt say anything at first. Just let her words settle. Then, quietly, āYou shouldnāt have to keep carrying all of it.ā
She looked up at him. āYou do.ā
He pressed a light kiss to her forehead. āIām used to it,ā he said, barely above a whisper. āBut you shouldn't be.ā
Her voice was raw with emotions. āYou think I donāt see what it does to you?ā she asked. āYou wonāt let yourself rest, not until you know, the ones you care about are safe. You look at everyone else like theyāre your responsibility, but you never let yourself be anyone elseās.ā
Bellamy looked down at where her fingers traced faint circles on his palm. She wasnāt just touching him, she was anchoring him.
āYouāre not a burden, Bellamy,ā she said, steady. āNot to me.ā
āI almost lost you,ā he whispered the words escaping unintentionally. āI canāt⦠I canāt survive losing you, too.ā
She let the words settle. Her laugh was soft, bitter. āBut you dragged my ass out of there.ā
Bellamy shook his head. āYou saved me first.ā
āYou know thatās not the point.ā
There was a brief silence between them, not awkward. It was heavy. A pause weighed down by everything unsaid between them. Then, softer, more vulnerable than heād heard her in weeks, she asked, āWere you going to keep pretending this wasnāt something?ā
He didnāt answer immediately, didnāt look away.
āI thought that if I kept my distance⦠I could protect you from what happens when people get close to me. From all the ways I ruin the people I care about.ā His voice cracked on the edges. āBut it all led to only hurting you worse.ā
That cracked something wide open in her chest. She blinked hard. āYeah,ā she whispered. āYou did.ā
He nodded. āIām sorry.ā
Her fingers curled around his arm tighter. āDonāt be. Just... stay.ā
Bellamy looked at her like she was something fragile and fearless all at once ā a flame heād spent too long pretending not to reach for. āIām here,ā he said, voice rough. āIām not going anywhere.ā
She leaned into him fully, resting her head on his shoulder. He shifted slightly so she fit more comfortably against him, arm winding around her back, holding her there, grounding them both.
āYouāre not sleeping in your tent tonight,ā she murmured against his collarbone, voice sleep-rough and honest.
He huffed a quiet laugh ā surprised, not smug. āNo?ā
āNo,ā she said again, quieter this time. āJust stay.ā
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The air inside her tent was warmer, hushed by fabric and the soft crackle of dying ember outside. Bellamy ducked inside, broad frame taking up more space then he intended to and for a heartbeat he just stood there, like he wasnāt sure where he was allowed to fit in her space.
She turned to look at him. āYou donāt have to act like this is some crime,ā she whispered. āI asked you to be here. To stay.ā
Thatās all he needed to hear. He exhaled, his shoulders eased, then sat down beside her on the makeshift bedding, boots half undone hands scraped and bruised. He should've been resting. So should she. But nothing about this, about them, had ever followed rules.Ā
āYou scare the hell out of me,ā he murmured, running his hand through his hair, curls falling into his eyes.
Her breath caught. āWhy?ā
āBecause I donāt think I could survive losing you.ā
She leaned in, hands coming up to rest against his chest, feeling the fast beat of his heart beneath her palms. āThen donāt pull away again.ā
The first time he touched her bare skin, it wasnāt with urgency, it was with awe. Like she was the only real thing left in the world. His hand slid to her waist, slow and reverent, thumb brushing the skin just above her waistband. It wasnāt rushed. It wasnāt hunger that moved him first. It was reverence. Like she was something he wasnāt sure he deserved to touch.
āAre you sure about this?ā he asked, his forehead resting against hers.
She looked up, eyes almost in heartily shapes, in such awe. She didnāt look at him with lust, but trust. āIāve never been more sure about anything.ā
Bellamy closed the space between them with a kiss that was deeper this time, not soft and tentative but hungry. She gave in, returning the kiss with the same heat, fingers slipping under the hem of his shirt, dragging it over his head with a slow, practiced confidence, tossing it aside like it didnāt matter ā because it didnāt. Not tonight.
Her hands explored him like sheād been waiting a lifetime ā the ridges of old wounds, the warmth of his skin, the tension in his muscles. He didnāt flinch beneath her touch. If anything, he leaned into it.
āYouāve been driving me crazy,ā she whispered against his mouth, her voice almost a breath.
A faint smirk curved his lips, āYouāve been all I can think about.ā
He pulled her into his lap, hands roaming, dragging down the curves of her back gripping her tights as he guided her to straddle him. She moved easily, naturally, like their bodies had been waiting for this moment since the beginning. The shift made her gasp softly, the friction between them undeniable. Her fingers tangled in his hair as his mouth traced along her neck, her shoulder, down to her collarbone.
He kissed every scare he could find. He stopped at the jagged scar just under her ribs. Fingers trembling, he whispered against her skin, āYou almost died,ā he murmured, voice low and shaken. āIt keeps me up at night.ā
She guided his hand higher, to the steady rise and fall of her chest. āBut I didnāt. Iām right here.ā
Their foreheads pressed together again, breath mingling, their hearts in sync.
She guided him down this time, rolling onto her back, letting him hover around her. His hand slid up her tight, slow and reverent, and she arched into him with a quiet moan, hips lifting instinctively. He kissed her again, deeper, rougher, swallowing the sound she made.
When his hand slid between them and found skin, she gasped, sharp and real, back arching beneath his touch. He watched her, every expression, every reaction, like it meant everything. And it did.
āBellamy,ā she breathed.Ā
He smiled, kissed her temple, and whispered her name like a promise against her skin.
They moved together, slow and aching, tangled in blankets and moonlight and everything theyād been afraid to say for too long. It wasnāt perfect. It wasnāt polished. But it was real, messy, breathless, and overwhelming.
It was love, in the only way they knew how to give it. Completely.
And when she finally came apart beneath him, trembling and breathless, he held her like he was the one being undone. He followed soon after, murmuring her name like it was the only thing that could tether him to the world.
āStill think staying away from me was the smart call?ā she asked quietly, a hint of a tease in her voice.
He exhaled a laugh, kissed the top of her head, and pulled her tighter against him. āNot even close.ā
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Sunlight filtered lazily through the trees, casting long golden streaks across the camp. Birds chirped overhead, the smell of ash and earth lingering from last nightās fire. People moved about through their morning routines, if you could still call anything here a routine.
She stepped out of her tent, stretching slightly, sore in a way that reminded her of last night, her cheeks warm just at the thought of it. Bellamyās shirt hung off her frame, the hem brushing mid-thigh, sleeves swallowing her hands. It was soft, worn, and still smelled like pine and smoke, him. She hadnāt planned on wearing his shirt. It was just that, in the dark, half-asleep, it was just the first thing her fingers had found.
Not that she cared. Not that it mattered. Okay, maybe it mattered. Just a little.
She only made it a few steps toward the fire pit before Raven looked up from where she was fiddling with some busted tech and raised a brow, a grin already tugging at her lips. āWell, well. Look who finally decided to grace us with her presence. Morning, Sleeping Beauty.ā
She gave a pointed sigh. āItās literally just morning.ā
Monty, nearby and already holding two mugs of tea, blinked once at her, then at the shirt, then back toward her tent with a dawning look of faux innocence. āWeird. I didnāt know you two shared laundry now.ā
She didnāt even get a chance to answer before Murphy sauntered in like the devil himself, biting into an apple, eyes already gleaming. āOh no, donāt ruin this for me. Let me guess ā nothing happened, right? You both just stayed up talking about leadership strategies all night?ā
She gritted her teeth. āYouāre one bad joke away from wearing this tea.ā
Murphy didnāt even flinch. āTotally worth it.ā
Monty bit back a laugh and handed her one of the mugs. āYou look⦠rested.ā
āDonāt start.ā
āGlowy, even,ā Raven added with mock interest. āIs that new? Kind of a post-orgasm radiance happening.ā
Murphy pretended to squint. āHonestly, I thought it was just the shirt, but no, sheās definitely glowing. Like, emotionally hydrated.ā
āOh my godāā
āMaybe even spiritually cleansed,ā Monty added helpfully.
āDead in the ground, thatās where youāre all going to be ifā¦ā she didnāt get to finish. The flap of her tent rustled, and every head turned like it was a synchronized move.
Out stepped Bellamy, hair a mess, still barefoot, boots in one hand, a fresh scratch on his cheek, and shirtless ā very shirtless. He blinked against the light like he hadnāt slept, or had slept very well. He paused, taking in the cluster of stares and then his eyes found her.
She braced herself.
Murphy actually choked on his apple. āHoly shit.ā āFinally,ā Raven muttered. Monty looked between the two of them and whispered, āI owe Harper five ration bars.ā
Bellamy, to his credit, didnāt flinch. He gave the smallest tilt of his head, voice calm and dry. āSomething wrong?ā
Murphy raised both hands. āNope. Everythingās perfectly normal. Birds are singing. Blakeās half-naked. Camp moraleās never been higher.ā
Raven leaned back, enjoying herself. āDidnāt peg you for a āwalk of no shameā type, Blake.ā
He shrugged, entirely unbothered. āDidnāt peg you for someone who cared.ā
āOh, I donāt,ā she replied sweetly. āI just think itās funny how you two went from ānothingās going onā to āpublic indecencyā in less than twelve hours.ā
She pinched the bridge of her nose. āWe are never going to hear the end of this.ā
āCorrect,ā Murphy said with his mouth full. āThis is my Roman Empire now.ā
Bellamy walked over casually, like he hadnāt just stepped into a firing squad. Without a word, he handed her a warm metal cup, Montyās tea, clearly stolen on the way over. His arm brushed hers when he did it, intentional and grounding.
She eyed him suspiciously. āYou planned this.ā
āI didnāt plan the audience,ā he said under his breath. āBut Iām also not exactly sorry.ā
He leaned in slightly, just enough for his voice to go low. āYou look really good in my shirt.ā
She shot him a sharp glare. āIf this ends with Murphy writing a camp-wide ballad, Iām shaving your head in your sleep.ā
Bellamy only smiled, not smug, but soft. Honest. The kind of smile he didnāt give to many. The kind that felt like a quiet morning light on skin after a night of chaos.
Eventually, the group moved on ā mostly because Clarke emerged from her tent, gave one look at the situation, and said, āOh for Godās sake,ā before walking away. But the smirks didnāt fade, and neither did the knowing glances.
Still, the world felt lighter. For the first time in weeks, maybe months, she wasnāt holding her breath. And neither was he.
They had something real now.
And this time, they werenāt pretending.
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a/n: promised bonus part. it took me some time to write, because i wasnāt sure how i wanted to write, only knew i want them to have some sort of happy ending, a little bit of everything. hope you liked it :))
I thought I lost you - Bellamy Blake x Reader
summary: They found him captured in a foreign camp by Grounders. Now itās her turn to save him, but of course, things donāt go according to plan, and get chaotic too fast, making the rescue mission much harder word count: 4k warnings: mentions of blood, fighting, cursing
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, bonus part
His head was pounding. Each pulse a dull hammer against his skull.Everything felt warped - too heavy - like the world around him had shifted and he was drowning in it one breath at a time.
He tried to shift, but the ropes cut deep into his wrist, raw and burning, leaving nasty marks. His shoulders had gone numb hours ago. Maybe longer. Time had blended all together, now only measured by pain and the way the sun moved across the treetops. Soon the sun would be setting down for the night. Heād watched the sky more than anything else, like it could tell him how long heād been here. Like it mattered.
He opened his eyes to light. Faint. Flickering. A fire.
He was tied high, just enough to keep him on his knees but not enough to rest.Ā
His mouth was dry. His lip was split and every time he inhaled a burning sensation went through his body.
Footsteps came and went around him, Grounders. He counted at least eight of them. They didnāt say much, didnāt ask him questions and maybe thatās what scared him.
Heād put up a fight, god, he tried but they came out of nowhere, blades flashing, knocking the wind out of him before he could have done any severe damage. It was four against one and he held his own as long as he could, but one hit to the head and everything was over.
Then he woke up here, tied to a post like a warning, offering. The rest was a haze of fists and shouting in a language he didnāt understand.Ā
Bellamy blinked through the dizziness. Tried to lift his head. That was a mistake. The nausea hit fast and hard, and he barely managed to turn his face away before he coughed - dry, violent.Ā
At first he was trying to think of ways how he could escape, counting variables, measuring options. But as time went by, he was giving up. He drifted in his thoughts to a different place. The camp. To the faces he didnāt get to say goodbye to. OctaviaāsĀ gonna lose her shit, he thought.
He could handle her rage, he was used to it by now. What he wasnāt used to, what he just couldn't outrun, was her face. Like some kind of punishment.
How she looked the last time she saw her. Tired, but still getting by. Pretending sheās not falling apart, that sheās not just a broken shell because he walked away. He thought if he stayed away, sheād have the space to move on, to stop looking at him like he mattered.
Only that was the lie he told himself.
The truth was⦠he didnāt know how to stay. Didnāt trust himself not to wreck the one thing that had started to mean something again.
He needed to clear his head so badly, try to make sense of things. So he ran off.
And now he was in this goddamn place. Tied. Bleeding. Bruised. Alone.
āYou really screwed this one up,ā he muttered to himself so no one could hear.
Maybe if he just held on for a little bit longerā¦
He closed his eyes, let his head hang low again, jaw clenched tight. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction of seeing him break.
He didnāt have a plan, didnāt know how to get out of this one. Gods, he hoped someone was coming.
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Theyād been hiding behind the bushes for what felt like an eternity, watching the camp from just out of sight. The sun had already dipped low, casting shadows across the trees.Ā
She watched him carefully - the way he was tied up, unmoving, his head slumped, face a mess of blood and bruises. Every time she looked at him, something in her shattered a little bit more.
They were trying to make up a plan on how to get him out. Darkness would either be their advantage or get them all killed.
āTheyāve got guards circling every few minutes,ā Monty muttered beside her, squinting through the leaves. āNo obvious blind spots. No way we get to him without someone noticing.ā
āA distraction could come in handy, buy us some time,ā Murphy added. āSomething loud. Smoke, fire, whatever gets them running the other way. You know, something funā
Monty looked at him curious. āWhat is it with you and blowing things up constantly?ā Murphy just shrugged.
She shook her head. āNo. Too risky. If they think weāre attacking, heās the first theyāll kill.ā
āThen what, genius?ā Murphy hissed. āWe stand here and hope for divine intervention? Because I gotta tell you, Iām not feeling very blessed today.ā
She ignored his bickering, her eyes never leaving Bellamy. āI sneak in. Quietly. No one will notice me. Get to him, cut him loose. Get out.ā
āAbsolutely not,ā Monty immediately rejected her idea.
Murphy almost laughed, āYeah, great plan. Letās send the barely-healed lunatic into a heavily guarded camp, because she wants to play Grounder Assassin Barbie?ā
āIām not asking for permission,ā she snapped.
āYes, you are,ā Murphy said sharply, āwhen youāre here with us. If they donāt kill us, Bellamy will surely, because we let you do this.ā
Monty pulled at a branch nervously, trying to stay calm. āHeās right, if you get caught, itās over. For all of us.ā
She ignored the part about Bellamy. āIām not going to get caught,ā she turned to face them, serious, steady.
āYou donāt know that,ā they both said in unison.
āNo,ā she said, ābut I canāt just sit here and wait while heās tied up like an animal waiting to be slaughtered.ā They were both quiet after that. The only sound was the distant crackle of fire from the camp and the low hum of insects around them.
She let out a shaky breath. āI need you here. Both of you,ā she looked at each of them. āIf something goes south, if I screw it up⦠I need to know someoneās got my back.ā
Murphy leaned back a little, exhaling through his nose. āThis is a bad idea.ā
āYet, youāll help,ā she said, not a question.
He gave her a tired look, then finally nodded. āYeah, yeah I will. Itās you. Iāll play backup. Just donāt make me drag your corpse out of there.ā
āWouldnāt dream of it,ā she chuckled.
Monty, still visibly uncomfortable, muttered, āThis is insane. But⦠okay.ā
She gave them a nod, heart pounding already, from the adrenaline, fear, hope, maybe all of it at once. Her fingers fixed against the hilt of her knife.
āGood,ā she said, turning back toward the camp. āLetās bring him home.ā
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The camp was quiet in that way that made your skin crawl, like something was holding its breath.
She moved through the shadows like she belonged to them. Determined. The flickering firelight painted dancing mosaics across her face, but she didnāt let herself be distracted by that. Every step was placed with care, avoiding branches, dried leaves. For her, the world felt too loud - her own breathing, the pounding of her heart in her ears, even the wind felt like it might give her away.
Sheād memorized the patrol paths. Two guards near the outer edge, one who lingered too long around the fire, another pacing like clockwork between tents. She had to time her first move with the slow crunch of boots fading left, slipping from the tree line to a stack of covered barrels without making any sound.
A voice called out, casual, bored, and she froze behind the barrels, holding her breath. If they catch her, sneaking around⦠itās over.
Nothing came of it.
She moved again, weaved between two ragged tents with cloth sides fluttering like whispers. She heard a loud noise somewhere in the distance and her stomach flipped. But it didnāt repeat.
She stayed low, shadow to shadow, heart in her throat. She canāt mess this up. Another few steps brought her behind a makeshift weapons rack. Spears, blades, some rusted and barely usable. She crouched there as a guard passed just inches away, too busy chewing on something. She could smell the burnt meat and smoke that hung in the air, almost masking the scent of blood.
It took everything in her not to run. Not yet.
She kept the far side of camp, a narrow corridor between a tarp covered pile of supplies and a long-abandoned wagon. Her hand brushed the hilt of her knife as she moved, always ready to strike. Another shout rang out nearby and she stilled again, pressed tight to the wagonās side, breath locked in her throat.
Then, silence again. Laughter. Someone swearing. No alarm.
She crept around the corner of a tent, now enough to feel the heat from the central fire. Close enough to see him. And when she finally reached him, she nearly froze.
He looked worse up close. Skin pale under blood and bruises, lip cracked, his head bowed, dark curls matted with sweat and dried blood, shoulder tremblingĀ just enough to show he was still breathing. Still fighting.
She checked her surroundings. No one close enough to see.
She took a deep breath, forcing her legs to move. Step by step until she was crouching at his side, touching his arm - gently, careful not to startle.
His head lifted, groggy and slow. āNo,ā he croaked, eyes watery. āNot you⦠not again.ā He thought he was hallucinating, that his mind was playing tricks on, like it already did before.
āBellamy,ā she whispered softly, her hand going to his cheek, making him meet her eyes. āIām here. Iām real.ā
His eyes locked on her then - wide, stunned. He blinked like he didnāt trust them. He wanted to say something but she shushed him quickly. Her knife was already sawing at the ropes around his wrist. āSave the lecture. Weāre getting you out of here.ā
āYou shouldnāt -ā
āYeah, well,ā she whispered, āyou shouldnāt have left.ā
The last rope snapped. Bellamy slumped forward and she caught him, arms wrapping tight around his waist to keep him upright. He hissed through his teeth, trying to steady himself.
āCan you walk?ā she asked, scanning the area.
āDefine walk,ā he muttered.
She slipped his arm around her shoulders, anchoring him. They moved slowly, weaving through the edges of camp. The firelight did them a favour. She ducked under a low-hanging tarp, then pulled them both behind a barrel when a voice called out in the distance. Her eyes kept flicking to the spot in the trees where Monty and Murphy were waiting.
Almost there.
Then. CRACK. A gunshot split the air. Then another.
She flinched. Bellamy stumbled. In the trees someone shouted. The camp exploded into motion. Shouts. Boots pounding. Torches raised.
āDamn it,ā she cursed under her breath. What had happened there? She tightened her grip, dragging him toward the trees as the camp erupted behind them. Gourds running, confusion spreading. There was more gunfire, until there wasnāt.
They needed to get to Monty and Murphy quickly. They had seconds. She ducked them into the underbrush just as the real chaos began.
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They moved as fast as Bellamyās condition allowed, which wasnāt fast at all. His weight leaned heavily into her side, every step a struggle, but neither of them dared to speak. The woods fell into deadly quietness once again, as if they were holding its breath before the next strike.
Almost there.
She parted the branches ahead of her but stopped herself before coming into the view.
Monty and Murphy were on their knees. Hands tied behind their back. Six Grounders surrounded them, one laid flat in the dirt, dead. Spears aimed at them with deadly stillness, like statues ready to strike.
No one noticed them. And for the hundredth time this day, her stomach dropped.Ā
Bellamy tensed beside her, instinct firing through his battered frame. He reached for the knife at her side, but she was already moving, shifting her weight, guiding him behind a tree. He winced as he hit the forest floor.
āStay here,ā she whispered, already slipping her pack off.
āNo, no, you canāt take them all,ā he rasped. āGive me the bow. Youāre notā¦ā
She just shoved him his gun, they scavenged earlier, into his hands, cold steel pressing into his palm. āCover me. Thatās all I need.ā
His jaw clenched. He hated this, didnāt want her to put herself in harm's way. He could see she was already struggling, and yet she was here, being the hero they needed. So he just nodded.
Then she vanished into the shadows.Ā
She crept through the bushes like she was born for it. Silent, steady, every movement carefully calculated. She kept her body low, her breath tight in her chest. The Grounders seemed distracted thinking they won.
She scanned the area again. Six of them. Two behind Monty and Murphy. One circling. The others stood just close enough to give her a shot.
She drew her bow. Thump. The arrow hit clean, the one on the outer edge crumpled without a sound. She moved fast, already drawing the next one. Second down, not as quiet this time.
Thatās when they noticed. Shouts erupted. Spears raised. Two of them turned in her direction, eyes wild. A shot rang out from behind, Bellamy. One of the Grounders stumbled, yelling, clutching his thigh.
She didnāt hesitate, and drew a third arrow. Right through the shoulder. He dropped to his knees, screaming.Ā
But she didnāt see the fourth one coming, who she didnāt see at first. He tackled her from behind, slamming her into the dirt. Pinned her down, eyes dark, a devilish smile creeping onto his lips. She struggled, hand scrabbling toward the knife strapped to her thigh. She drew it, and stabbed him in the torso. He gasped, falling to the side.Ā
She rolled away quickly, climbing back to her feet in time to see another one charging.
She threw the bloody knife at him, but only scratched his arm. It fell right in front of Murphy. That was his cue. He jumped for it, and started working on his ties.
But the GrounderĀ didnāt stop. He yanked her to the nearby tree. Another shot fired, this time missed. She dropped to the ground and as she was standing up, her enemy kicked brutally into her stomach. She could feel the stitches tear. Hissed in pain.Ā
The Grounder launched again. She caught his leg, twisted, kicked. He toppled forward with a curse.
She could hear more gunfire behind her. A loud thud. Another one down.Ā
She grabbed another knife she was hiding at her side. One clean slash across the neck. The Grounder on the ground choked on his own blood.
One left. She spun, scanning. There. He was sprinting toward Murphy, who was cutting Montyās ties.
She took off after him. Ignore the pain. Donāt think, just move.
She kicked him from behind and he fell to his knees. An elbow to the side, a hard punch to the cheek. He reeled back, blood flying from his mouth. She circled him, standing in front of him. Then she just brought her knee up hard into his face. He fell on his back, unconscious.Ā
She looked around, panting. āAnyone else wanna pop out and say hello?ā
Murphy let out a breathless laugh, helping Monty stand up. āDamn. Remind me never to piss you off.ā
She nodded, faint smirk tugging at her lips, eyes flicking past them, already moving back toward the spot where she left him.
Bellamy was already trying to stand up, but failing miserably. She rushed to him, slipping his arm around his shoulders. āYou okay?ā she asked, voice quieter now, adrenaline fading.
He looked her over, eyes flicking down to the blood on her shirt. āAre you?ā She didnāt answer, just helped him forward.
Monty came up beside them, āYou look like hell.ā
āA little battered, but Iāll survive,āshe gave him a nod. Murphy snorted. āNo kidding.ā He took her place and helped steady Bellamy.Ā
āLetās get back to camp,āĀ she said. āBefore someone else shows up.ā
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Night had fallen. The forest was thinning ahead - flickers of torchlight and the low murmur of voices told them the camp was up ahead. Almost there.
Bellamy to his complete annoyance, leaned heavily against Murphy, one arm slung across his shoulders. He was pale, shaky, every step a battle, but still trying to keep his head up, mostly to look at her.
She walked a few paces ahead, posture tight, eyes fixed forward. Her shirt was soaked through and through, blood slipping between her fingers where she held her reopened wound. The damage wasnāt as severe as last time but it still made her head feel dizzy. Yet she didnāt stumble. Didnāt say a word.
āRemind me again,ā Murphy huffed under Bellamyās weight, āwhy Iām the one dragging your ass through the woods?ā
āBecause sheās bleeding,ā Bellamy muttered through clenched teeth, his legs barely working. āAnd youāre not half-dead.ā
Murphy glanced at her, āYeah, no kidding. Been trying to ignore it. That way, if she drops dead, I can claim I wasnāt complicit, so lucky me.ā
Monty jogged to catch up with her, glancing at her wound.āYou need to slow downā¦ā
āIām fine,ā she didnāt even look at him. She knew that if she stopped right now, she wouldnāt be able to continue.
āYouāre very much not fine.ā
āIāve had worse.ā They were almost at the gate. Just a few more steps.
Murphy snorted behind them. āWhy do all the reckless ones say that like it's something to brag about?ā
āI donāt hear you complaining when Iām saving your ass.ā
Bellamyās voice was hoarse but sharp. āShe shouldnāt have had to.āĀ
She gave him a quick glance, face pale under the blood and dirt. She was barely holding on. āYouāre not seriously mad at me now, are you?ā
āIām mad you almost died.ā
āI didnāt, did I?ā she snapped. Then faltered. Her knees dipped for just a second before she caught herself on a tree.
Then came the voices.
āBellamy!ā āWhat the hell happened?ā āIs that blood?!ā
Octavia reached them first, sprinting. She yanked Bellamy out of Murphyās grip, supporting him like a muscle memory. āWhat the hell happened to you?āĀ
Raven and Clarke werenāt far behind.
Murphy let out a breath. āYour idiot brother got caught, and your idiot brotherās idiot friends came to the rescue.ā
Ravenās eyes caught hers. āOh, hell no. Youāre bleeding, again.ā
āPlease, not nowā¦ā
āYouāre bleeding through your shirt. Sit. Down.ā
She opened her mouth to argue, then stumbled again, only this time, didnāt catch herself. Raven caught her before she hit the dirt, lowering her gently. "Stitches tore,ā she mumbled weakly.
Murphy dropped beside them. āFor the record, I voted against this plan.ā
Octavia knelt beside Bellamy, not sure if she wanted to slap him or hug him. But he barely noticed, his eyes locked on her and the way Clarke was pressing fresh bandages to her torso. Guilt was written all over his face.
āShe got you out,ā Monty said quietly beside him. āShe did it.ā It was like he couldnāt believe it himself.
āI know,ā Bellamy whispered.
Clarke looked between the two of them. āBoth of you need a solid week of bedrest. Minimum.ā
Murphy muttered, āCan we vote for a month? Preferably with no one trying to kill us?ā
She didnāt say a word, just leaned her head back against the tree, eyes fluttering shut for a second, chest rising and falling in shaky relief.
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The fire crackled low, a slow burn of embers glowing orange against the night. The rest of the camp was asleep or pretending to be. But she remained awake, legs pulled close, arms wrapped loosely around her knees. The blanket Raven forced on her hung limp off one shoulder. The shadows under her eyes were darker than the bruises on her ribs.
She hadnāt slept. Not once.
She passed by his tent that morning. Again in the afternoon. Kept pretending to be busy, sorting supplies with Clarke, fixing straps with Raven. Every time she felt herself drifting toward his side of the camp she changed direction. If he didnāt want to see her, she wasnāt going to force it.
But it hurt. God, it hurt.
She heard his footsteps before she saw him. Quiet, hesitant.
He didnāt say anything. Just stood there at the edge of the firelight, his silhouette frozen like he wasnāt sure if he was allowed to be near her.
She didnāt dare to look at him when she spoke. āGo back to bed.ā
Nothing. No footsteps leaving.
Her shoulders tensed. āDidnāt Octavia threaten to knock you out if she saw you out of the tent again?ā
No answer.
She finally turned her head, jaw clenched. There he was, cleaner, steadier. The worst of the damage hidden beneath healing cuts and fresh bandages. If she didnāt know better, she mightāve thought he was okay.
But his eyes told a different story. When she met them, broken, heavy, full of some unbearable truth, her control snapped like a thread pulled too tight.
āYou donāt get to do this,ā she bit out, standing so fast the blanket slid off. āYou donāt get to leave. Disappear. Almost die. And then stand here like you donāt know why Iām falling apart.ā
He opened his mouth but she cut him off. āNo. You donāt get to vanish, Bellamy. You donāt get to play the martyr. You donāt get to decide that the worldās better off without you, that Iām better off without you, and then come back and say nothing.ā
His face twisted like the words had physically hurt him. āI left,ā he said quietly, ābecause I thought maybe if I wasnāt around, youād stop looking at me like I mattered. Maybe youād finally stop getting yourself on the line, maybe youād finally stop getting hurt.ā
āBullshit!ā She shoved him. Hard. āThatās not why you left. You left because you didnāt think you were worth staying.ā
He stumbled back a step, more from shock than force.
āYou didnāt even try to make it out,ā she said, voice breaking. āYou just gave up, handed yourself over and hoped it would be enough. Like dying would fix something. Like dying would protect me.ā
Bellamy looked at her, a wreck of himself, like the weight of her words hit every raw nerve he had left. His voice was barely above a whisper. āI didnāt want to be the reason you got hurt again.ā
āYou are the reason,ā she said, shoving him again, voice raw now. āYouāre the reason I didnāt sleep. Youāre the reason I kept walking around camp with blood soaking through my shirt, trying to convince everyone and myself that I was fine. Youāre the reason I couldnāt breathe the whole time you were gone.ā
āI thought I was doing the right thingā¦ā
āYou werenāt,ā she cut in. āYou were doing the cowardly thing. The selfish thing. You didnāt give me a chance to prove myself.
āYou donāt have to prove yourself to me,ā he brushed her cheek gently. āI thought staying away would make it easier,ā his voice cracked.
āFor who?ā she scrambled. āFor me?! You think I wanted to watch them drag you back half-dead?! You think I wanted to be the one to stitch you back up?ā Her fists hit his chest now, not hard, just desperate. āYou donāt get to leave!ā
He didnāt try to stop her. Didnāt even flinch. Just stood there and took it like he believed he deserved every word.
āI thought I was too late,ā she whispered, shaking now, āI thought I lost you. And the worst part? I still donāt know if you wouldāve cared.
That shattered whatever was left in him. He surged forward and pulled her into him, arms crushingly tight around her. She froze for a second then collapsed into his chest.
āIām sorry,ā he whispered into her hair. āIām sorry. Iām sorry. Iām so fucking sorry.ā
She shook in his arms, eyes squeezed shut, face buried in the curve of his neck. āIf you had died,ā she said through clenched teeth, voice shredded, āI wouldnāt have come back.ā
His arms only tighten around her, like if he let go for even a second, she might disappear too. And she clung to him like sheād been drowning for days, and only just now made it to the surface.
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a/n: so, i am considering this to be the last part, but i am also thinking about writing something like a bonus part, where itās mostly about them, sweet and kinda innocent i guess, with a little angst, because i love it. so thank you for your support on my first ever fanfic on here, i appreciate it may we meet again :)
Taglist: @s0urw00lf

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Shattered - Bellamy Blake x Reader
summary: Five days later, nothing had changed. Not between them. So what if Bellamy trails off to the forest, alone, like some kind of testament. And when he doesnāt come back, she knows something is wrong. And this time she is the one going after him, because she canāt bear to lose him for good.word count: 3,3k warnings: mentions of blood, injuriesā¦
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, bonus part
It had been five days.
Five days since she woke up. Five days since they had their last conversation. FIve days since he walked away, once again, without even looking back.
And five days since she had been pretending to be okay, pretending her heart hadnāt shattered that night.
Nothing had changed between them. If anything, the distance had only grown wider, louder, sharper.
Bellamy moved on with his life like she didnāt exist in the first place. She on the other hand? She had to stay busy, to not go completely mad. Because stillness meant thinking, and thinking meant feeling.Ā
That was the deal she made with herself. Stay busy. Stay useful. Stay upright.
She was healing, at least on the surface. Her wound no longer bled, stitches still tight beneath her shirt. Her ribs still ached with every sharp breath and sudden movement.
And people noticed, of course they did. She always gave them a smile and a too-easy āIām fine.ā That was the mask she chose to wear - Fine.
Fine, when she helped carry buckets to the med tent. Fine, when she organized supplies. Fine when she nodded through conversations she was barely listening to, her mind always trailing off to something else. Fine, when she helped prepare food for the others. Fine, whenever someone asked for help with anything.
Octavia watched her the most. Quietly. Like she could see how much the girl's heart shattered. How something inside her was still bleeding even if the wound had closed.
Murphy offered sarcasm and badly timed jokes, but they made her laugh and thatās what counted. Clarke hadnāt asked many questions, but tried to keep the girl busy with work, trying to also keep an eye on her. Raven didnāt push, but lingered longer than necessary whenever they worked together, not saying much, just staying.Ā
None of them knew what to say and she probably didnāt want to hear it anyway.
She refused to be the girl who fell apart over someone who couldnāt give her conclusion let alone look at her. She stayed quiet. Stayed useful. Stayed āfineā.
Sometimes she caught glimpses of him. When he walked around camp, carrying gear or giving orders. Acting like nothing had ever happened.Ā
He never looked away, but wanted to so badly it hurt. He didnāt know how to talk to her. Not after that evening. So he buried himself under more tasks, more responsibilities, so he wouldn't have to face any of it.
But she could feel how he would tense up, when she laughed at something someone else said. How heād left the room a little too quick when she walked in.Ā
It was like heād made it his lifeās mission to avoid her and he was doing a damn good job of it.
That night, she sat along with her friends by one of the fires. Not talking, just staring into the flicker of orange and gold. The rest of them chatted about everything and nothing, just enjoying the warm night. But they were also pretending. Pretending that things were normal again. Pretending they werenāt watching the tension between them.
Someone placed a blanket over her shoulders. She didnāt have to look to know it was Octavia. No words needed to be exchanged. She just sat next to her, quiet.Ā
And for the first time all day, she let her shoulders drop. Just a little. Because she knew, even if everything else was falling apart, someone was still there.
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The fire had burned by the time she finally slipped away. No goodbyes, no glances over her shoulder - she just left unannounced.
The sky was dark now. Stars shining bright, scattered and silent, like everything else, except her thoughts. She was spiraling, thinking about the same things over and over again to the point of exhaustion.
She collapsed onto the mattress with a wince from the pain she was still feeling. Her ribs still ached, her muscles still sore. But her breath shook too hard to be just from the pain.Ā
Sleep didnāt come easily even before, but now? Now it felt impossible. She kept staring into nothingness for hours before her eyes finally gave up. How could she get better, if her body kept betraying her like this.
Everytime she closed her eyes, it replayed. That morning. That ambush. Blood. Panic. Him.
She was curled up like a ball, she was clutching the blanket like her life depended on it. She was so tired of the crying. So tired of being the broken one.Ā
She tried to convince herself she didnāt care anymore, that she was stronger now. But why did her chest ache like every time she took a breath there was glass lodged in her chest, cutting deeper.
Outside, the camp had gone quieter. Fires cracked low, casting flickers of dying light. The hum of voices had faded, replaced by the nightās hush, the occasional soft crunch of boots on dirt.
Across camp, Octavia found her brother at the usual spot he seemed to end up lately - half-hidden on its edge. He was leaning against a tree, back turned to the camp, sharpening his blade like it was the only thing that kept him together.
She didnāt bother announcing herself. Just stood there, arms crossed, watching him. āWhen will you stop pretending she doesnāt exist,ā she finally said, voice flat.
His jaw flexed, but his hands didnāt stop, āIām busy.ā
āNo, youāre hiding,ā her voice sharper than the blade in his hand. āIāve watched her pretend to be fine all week while you just casually walk around the camp, playing a ghost.ā
āYou donāt know what youāre talking about.ā
āDonāt I now?ā She took a step closer. āYou think I donāt see it? I know you better than anyone Bellamy. You watch her when no oneās looking. I see how you tense up when someone even mentions her name. You leave the room as she walks in. You think youāre being subtle?ā
āIām giving her space,ā he said, voice low.
āNo, youāre avoiding her,ā she snapped, ā In order to make yourself feel better for screwing up. So you donāt have to face her.ā
That landed. He stood, jaw clenched. The blade still in his hand, though it hung uselessly by his side. āYou think this is easy for me?ā
āI donāt give a damn if it is easy. I care that youāre hurting her.ā Her voice rising. āShe needed you, and you left.āĀ
He just shook his head, frustrated. āI was there when it mattered the most.ā
āWere you?ā she threw back,āBecause from where Iām standing, it looked a lot like you were there only when she was dying. And then run off the moment she needed someone to help her live.ā
āYou donāt understand, O.ā
āGod, how blind are you? You always think youāre doing the right thing but when it comes to her - doing this, avoiding her.. Making her feel unwanted?ā She took a shaky breath, āthis is not right.ā
āSheās better off,ā he said. āIf I get too close, she gets hurt. It's just how it usually is.ā
āThat's bullshit and you know it.ā She looked him in the eyes, like she was trying to read what was going on in his mind. āShe thinks she was easier to care about when she was slipping away.ā
That made him flinch.
āYou care for her, more than just a friend,ā she said quieter. āSo either do something about it or fully stay away. Because this? This is going to destroy the both of you.āĀ
He didnāt answer, didnāt deny it.
Octavia waited. Hoped heād say something, but he kept his silence. Leaned back against the tree and just looked to the darkness like it held all the answers.
āCowared,ā she muttered under her breath, before turning on her heel and walking back into the night, leaving him alone with the weight of everything unsaid.
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The camp was still quiet. He was the only one outside. At least thatās what he thought. Raven was also already up, watching him from afar.
Bellamy moved through the shadows like he didnāt want to be seen - which, obviously he didnāt. His pack was already strapped tight to his back, gear carefully chosen. He paused only once, near the edge of the camp, making sure no one was following him.
He stood there for a breath longer than he shouldāve have, his mind wandering off to her.
His jaw flexed, the weight of something unreadable tightening across his shoulder. Then he disappeared into the trees like a ghost.
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The morning sun was already shining through the trees when she opened her eyes. She hadnāt really slept, more like drifted in and out of restless, aching moments. Her body ached, sore in the places she expected, tight in the ones she didnāt. But it wasnāt the pain that kept her still. Not really.
Something else was pressing down on her chest. A wrongness. Unspoken, unnamed. It was that kind of feeling you noticed when it was too late.
Rubbing her tired eyes, she sat up slowly. Her tent was quiet, the outside too. She got dressed, mechanically, pulling on her boots like a muscle memory, because routine was the only thing keeping her grounded.
By the time she reached the campās small makeshift mess area, most of the others were already there. Clarke and Octavia sat shoulder to shoulder, talking low. Murphy was cracking some offhand joke. Raven poked at something not so pleasantly looking on her plate. Monty was pouring whatever passed for tea into mismatched cups.Ā
Only one place was empty.
She slipped into the spot across from Octavia quietly, unnoticed at first. Clarke looked up and gave her a small smile. Murphy studied the other blonde girl with a raised brow but didnāt say anything. Octavia nudged a mug toward her, with an unknown liquid inside. āYou look like you barely slept.ā
She gave her a death stare. āDidnāt,ā she muttered, but didnāt elaborate any further. No one asked.
The conversation kept going. Some teasing here and there, complaints about the chores, arguments over whether they were running low on bandages or just missing them again.Ā Laughter came and went like flickers of wind. She was just there, and didn't really register any of it. Her mind was still foggy, restless.
Then out of nowhere she asked. āWhereās Bellamy?ā
Everyone turned to her, silence fell like a dropped stone. Raven cleared her throat, not looking up from her plate. āHe left this morning, before dawn.ā
She blinked, āLeft? What do you mean, āLeftā?ā
āYeah,ā Raven scratched the back of her neck. āSaid something about scouting for supplies. You know the usual āI'll be back before anyone notices Iām goneā kind of runs.ā
Her stomach dropped. Was this some kind of sick payback, was he playing mind games with her right now? That itch in the back of her skull, that creeping unease, sharpened. āAlone?ā her voice was quiet now.
āI think so,ā Raven said. āHe didnāt say much. Just took his gear and disappeared into theĀ trees.ā
Her mind was all over the place. Something shifted in her posture. Barely. A blink longer than necessary. A breath she didnāt finish.
Across from her, Clarke straightened. āDonāt.ā She didnāt look up. āIām serious,ā Clarke said more firmly. āYouāre not going after him.ā
āWhy shouldnāt I? Heās being reckless. What if something happened to him, because heās just being Bellamy?ā Her voice was sharp around the edges now.
āHeās done this before. Heāll be back,ā Octavia said even though she saw the worry on her friendās face,
āAnd so did I,ā she said, standing up, āRemember how that turned out?ā
Octavia leaned forward, unsure. āMaybe he just needed space. You know how he gets.ā
āI know exactly how he gets,ā she was ready to gear up and go after him, āthatās the problem.ā
āAnd youāre not going after him,ā Clarke raised her voice, like a mother scolding her child. āHeād kill me, if I let you go after him, when your wound hasnāt properly healed.ā
She didnāt care about any of that. Something was wrong, she could feel it. And she would go after him, whether they liked it or not.Ā
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She waited until the camp buzzed with energy. Voices scattered between tents and trees, it was easier to disappear when no one was looking.
Her bag was already packed. Light, but enough to last two days if needed. Two daggers at her side. Bandages tucked in if something went wrong. Her unhealed wound still throbbed with pain, when she moved the wrong way, but sheād gotten good at working around it. Ignoring it had become second nature by now.
What she couldnāt no longer ignore was the gut wrenching feeling that got only louder since Raven said how heād snuck away. Her now doing the exact same thing.
Stupid.
She crossed the outer ring of the camp fast, eyes on the tree line ahead. She was determined, had it written all over her face. Just keep moving. No one will notice. Just -Ā
āYouāre not seriously doing what I think youāre doing, right?ā Murphyās voice broke the silence like a rock through the glass, yet audible only for her to hear.
She turned, caught him standing next to a nearby tree, hiding in the shadows. Like he was waiting for her. Monty stood behind him, awkward and concerned, clutching his own back too tightly on his chest.
She didnāt answer.
āBecause if you are,ā Murphy continued, stepping closer to her, āI gotta say, thatās one hell ofĀ a bad idea. Heās only been gone a few hours.ā
She couldāve lied, deflected, or brushed it off. Instead, all she said was, āSomething's wrong.ā
Monty stepped forward. āYou donāt know that for sure.ā
āI do,ā she said, too quickly. āJust⦠trust me. I can feel it. The same way he did when I went out and didnāt come back. And no one stopped him.ā
Murphy groaned, rolling his eyes. āDonāt turn this into poetic justice, princess. Youāre not exactly in hiking shape.ā
āNo oneās asking you to come. Iām going after him either way,ā she looked at him sharp.
There was a pause. She turned away again, stepping toward the woods, until footsteps caught up with hers.
āI swear,ā Murphy muttered under his breath, falling in line beside her, āheās going to lose his damn mind when he finds out we let you out of camp.ā
āWe didnāt let her,ā Monty joined in, jogging a bit to keep up, āweāre just⦠making sure she doesnāt die out there. Again.ā
She didnāt stop them. Didnāt thank them either. But when she exhaled, it came out just a little less heavy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Ā
They had been searching for hours. Three, maybe more. Time didnāt move right when you were chasing shadow.
Her arms were scratched from branches, her breath uneven, her lungs burning, and her ribs throbbed with every step. But she didnāt stop. Couldnāt. The woods were darker today, like they were holding onto secrets no one was supposed to find. And for the last part, something in her chest refused to settle.
Murphy, ofĀ course, hadnāt stopped talking since they left.
āJust saying,ā Murphy called from behind, dragging his feet through the underbrush, āif this was a normal run for supplies, we shouldāve at least found a rabbit trap or, I donāt know, a dead tree he glared at too hard.ā
āWhat if you tried shutting up for five minutes?ā she snapped without looking back, āYouāll scare off every possible lead before we could find it.ā
āScare them off. Or lure them in with my undeniable charm and commentary?ā
She rolled her eyes so hard it hurt. āIt really is a miracle that youāre still alive.ā Murphy grinned, āAw, you do care.ā
āOnly because if you die, Iāll be stuck out here with Monty, and no offense, I canāt handle a four-hour hike full of botany facts and emotional observations right now.ā
Monty raised his hand in defeat. āYouāre both unbearable.ā
āSee?ā she muttered. āMutual suffering. Weāre bonding.ā
Murphy smirked, gesturing around. āAnd what exactly are we looking for again? Bellamyās brooding aura? A trail of emotional repression and half-buried guilt?ā
āSigns, weāre looking for signs. Tracks. Anything at this point,ā she said sharply, annoyed.
āOh yeah? Because chasing after someone who wants to be alone always ends well,ā Murphy grumbled. āMaybe he just needed to be away from⦠all of this.ā He motioned vaguely to the air.
āAnd how did that end for the last person to say that, huh?ā she said through clenched teeth. Murphy didnāt have anything to add to that, just fell quiet at the weight of her words.
The air shifted.Ā
For another long moment, the only thing that could be heard were their boots against the damp earth and the soft rustle of leaves. But she could also hear her heart loud and clear, like it was about to jump out of her chest.
Up ahead, something caught her eye - a patch of green and brown that didnāt belong. Her pace slowed.
There. Tucked beneath a bush like someone had covered it up in a hurry. Her stomach flipped. āHere,ā she said tightly. dropping to a crouch. Both the boys were at her side in seconds. She peeled the branches off, showing the familiar fabric.
āShit,ā Murphy muttered. āThatās his. Why the hell would he leave it here?ā
āHe wouldn't,ā she said flatly, staring ahead of her. Monty dropped beside her, scanning the area. āThereās more. Look.ā he pointed at the drag mark on the ground and many footprints overlapping each other. Her throat went dry at the sight.
Murphy narrowed his eyes. āSo much for a peaceful supply run.ā
The dirt told the entire story, an ambush. Four sets of tracks were recognizable, at least. A struggle. Drag trails like someone was being pulled. Taken.
Monty stood slowly, āHe fought. But he didnāt win.ā
The nausea hit her fest, sharp and cold.. Something inside her twisted at the thought of him being hurt. It felt like some sort of reversed deja vĆŗ, it was almost exactly like what happened to her, but this time, it was up to her to save him.
āWe need to follow it,ā she said, standing too fast. Her ribs screamed in protest, her head dizzy. Murphy hesitated, āCool, yeah. Letās just stroll into a fresh set of enemies without backup. Great plan. Bravo.ā
She shot him a glare. āHe could be tortured right now, or dying somewhere, Murphy.ā Monty glanced between them, āIf we wait, we might lose the trail.ā And that settled it.
They moved fast. She was driven by something deep inside her, buried since that night. The trail snaked through trees, down to unfamiliar terrain. Then it opened into clearing.
She dropped behind a dense bush, motioning for them to stop. Monty crouched. Murphy ducked low beside her.
āCamp,ā Monty whispered. āNot Trikru.ā
āNot even close, these guys look nastier. New symbols even.ā He looked at her, āAre those the ones who got you too?ā She nodded remembering the face paint, jaw tight. Her pulse thudded in her ears.
Scanning the makeshift settlement, crude barricades, unfamiliar armor, flags marked with jagged paint. And thenā¦
There. On the other side. Tied to a thick post.
Bellamy.
Slumped forward, arms strung high above him, his shirt torn and bloodied. Cuts across his face and arms. A deep nasty bruise along his jaw.
āSon of a bitch,ā Murphy let out a shaky breath. Monty laid a hand on her arm. āWeāll get him.ā
She felt like she couldnāt breath, couldnāt speak. A few days ago, she was in a very similar position. And no one came for her, at least not right away.
But she was here now and she wasnāt leaving without him.
It was now her turn to bring him back.
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a/n: hi lovelies, i am here with another part, although i am not sure how much i like this one, but hopefully youāll enjoy it. and again, thank you for your support, i really appreciate it. may we meet again
taglist: @s0urw00lf
MASTERLIST
The 100 - Bellamy Blake x Reader
Hunter's Mistake series: Hunter's Mistake - part 1 word count: 3,3k summary: It was supposed to be just a routine hunt for food. She even offered to do it. But someone ambushed her and now sheās in the middle of nowhere, bleeding out with no one to help her. Meanwhile back at the camp, when sheās still not returning to his disliking, Bellamy starts to worry. And when she just wonāt show up, he decides to search for her with the help of a few others
Why am I not enough for you to stay series: Hunter's Mistake - part 2 word count: 3,3k summary: She wakes up, heās not there. He almost lost her and now the guilt is eating him away. Heās avoiding her, unlike their friends. The moment sheās fed up with his act, she decides to confront him.
Shattered series: Hunterās Mistake - part 3 word count: 3,3k summary: Five days later, nothing had changed. Not between them. So what if Bellamy trails off to the forest, alone, like some kind of testament. And when he doesnāt come back, she knows something is wrong. And this time she is the one going after him, because she canāt bear to lose him for good.
I thought I lost you series: Hunterās Mistake - part 4 word count: 4k summary: They found him captured in a foreign camp by people who they haven't dealt with, yet. Now itās her turn to save him, but of course, things donāt go according to plan, and get chaotic too fast. making the rescue mission much harder
Stay series: Hunter's Mistake - bonus part word count: 3,3k summary: A month had passed, nothing seemed to change, until danger came lurking again. Breaking something in both reader and Bellamy.
ACOTAR - Rhysand x Reader
Shadows of the past word count: 3,4k summary: They got ambushed and she was taken into captivity. Shadows of the past hunting her down. Harsh truth revealing itself not just once. He will do everything in his power to save her and kill anyone who harmed her.
Why am I not enough for you to stay - Bellamy Blake x Reader
summary: She wakes up, heās not there. He almost lost her and now the guilt is eating him away. Heās avoiding her, unlike their friends. The moment sheās fed up with his act, she decides to confront him.word count: 3,3kwarnings: mentions of injury
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, bonus part
The first thing she felt was pain. Sharp and deep. The second was silence. Her eyes slowly opened trying to get used to the flickering light from the lantern in the med tant. Her chest ached with every breath. Her lips were dry, limbs heavy. Her skin felt cold, despite the blanket over her. Everything hurt.
At first she couldnāt tell where she was or how long sheād been there. Then it all came rushing back.
The woods. The fight. Flash of blade. Blood, her blood.
And yet, it wasnāt the pain that bothered her. It was the loneliness creeping in, the chair beside her, empty. He went after her, when she did not return. He found her. Carried her to the camp, while whispering things she couldnāt quite hold on to. Pleading with her to stay, to breathe, to fight.
She tried to move a bit more, immediately dizzy, her body protesting. He was nowhere to be seen. But she should have expected that - yet, she didnāt. She remembered the way he carried her, like she could break any second, like she was something precious and fragile. Now it felt like none of it had happened.
Did he leave the minute she was safe? Or did seeing her like that break something in him, or was it guilt? The kind he wore like armor, too heavy to carry near her.
Whatever it was, his absence was hurting her, far more than the blade itself.
She had to blink hard, forcing the tears not to fall. Not yet, not now. He stayed when she was bleeding out and disappeared the second she was breathing again. Somehow, that hurt worse.
One little tear found its way out, slid down her cheek. She wiped it away angrily. She didnāt cry, not like this. Not for someone who couldnāt even bother to stay. But that was the thing about silence. It made you hear everything youād been trying not to feel.
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Moments later, Clarkeās soft footsteps broke the silence. āYouāre awake,ā she smiled tiredly, ātook you long enough.ā Her voice was hoarse from the lack of energy, āGuess I like the drama.ā
Clarke laughed gently, visible relief in her eyes. That was her girl. āYou scared the crap out of us.ā Her gaze lingered back to the empty chair, then back to the blonde girl. āUs?ā
Noticing the glance, she hesitated, āEveryoneās been worried, you know. Raven stopped by earlier. Monty is basically living outside the tent. Even Murphy said something that sounded like a worry.ā Her lips twitched at the thought, āThat is dramatic.ā
Clarke smiled at her softly, āYouāve got people around here, people who care about you.ā And yet the one person who cared the most wasnāt there. āWhere is he?ā she asked, eyes searching the tent.
Her friend looked at her sadly, didnāt pretend not to understand who she meant. āHe was here,ā she said. āHe didnāt leave your side for the whole night. He wouldnāt leave. Not even when I told him to, not even when Monty did. Not untilā¦ā she hesitated, ānot until he knew youāre gonna pull through.ā
Her chest tightened, just a weak āokayā escaped her lips.
āHe thinks itās his fault,ā Clarke continued. āHe always thinks itās his fault. Especially when it comes to the people who he canāt bear to lose.āĀ
She just shook her head, tears forming in her eyes again, she hated how emotional she was, how vulnerable one huntressās mistake made her. āHe holds guilt like itās his job,ā she said, her voice cracking.Ā
āIf heās so eager to blame himself, maybe he shouldāve come with me, in the first place,ā she snapped.
āDonāt do that,ā Clarke sat beside her, shaking her head, ādonāt make it easy for him to hate himself more than he already does.ā
They sat in silence for a moment. Clarke stood up squeezing her hand, āGet some rest,ā she said gently, āIāll come check on you later, okay?ā
She just nodded, already lost in her own thoughts.
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She stared at the ceiling. Feeling like she failed, not only herself, but her friends and him. Her chest ached, not just from the wound pulsing steadily but also from carrying it all. Never letting her feelings out, always burying it under.Ā
She wore her strength like armor. Never showing too much, never letting anything slip past the walls she built over the years back at the Ark and then downhere, when she needed to survive. But underneath all that steel, sheād been carrying too much, just like he did and that was another thing they had in common along with their stubbornness, both afraid to say the things that really mattered. Both reckless with their own hearts.
When looking at the empty chair beside where she laid, her throat tightened. She was furious at him for vanishing the moment things got too close, too raw. At herself for thinking it wouldnāt be like that. She almost died and part of her, the one still bruised and breathless, wondered if sheād simply never be enough for him to stay.
Before she could beat herself up more, a head peeked into the tent. Monty. āYouāre awake,ā he said with a smile and stepped in, holding a cup, maybe tea. āI brought you the good stuff,ā he winked. āIf Clarke asks, itās just broth. Butā¦ā he paused, āitās got a little of Jasperās stolen seasoning in it.ā
She chuckled, āYouāre breaking the rules for me now, huh, Monty?ā
āObviously, you almost died.ā He came over, setting the cup on the table, sitting on the edge of the cot, careful not to jostle her. āWhich, for the record, Iād really appreciate if you didnāt do again.ā She gave him a look, āNoted, but also remember,ā she smiled at him lightly, āIām too stubborn to die.ā
Monty chuckled. āThatās what I told him.ā Her smile faded, he regretted his words immediately. āYou scared the crap out of us.āĀ
Her hands fidgeted with the blanket, āSorry, didnāt mean to.ā
He looked out of the tent, āYeah, well, next time maybe donāt take on three Grounders alone.ā She didnāt correct him, didnāt make any excuses. He noticed. āThat bad, huh?ā She just nodded, didn't feel like talking anymore. āI know youāre not that easy to break,ā he squeezed her shoulder, ābut please, for the love of god, try not to scare the hell out of everyone next time, okay?ā She smiled, squeezing his hand in return, a silent thank you. A silent, Iāll try.
And then, without another word, he was gone.
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Meanwhile Clarke had been looking for Bellamy ever since she left the med tent. InsteadĀ she came across Octavia, who was also terrified of losing their friend.Ā
āSheās awake.ā Clarke told her softly. Octavia let out a breath she didnāt realize she was holding, āOh thank god,ā she murmured. āIāll stop by soon. Sheās⦠family,ā her eyes flicked upward, glassy for half a second.
The blond girl hesitated before asking, āWhere is he?ā
His sister nodded toward the treeline. āNorth ridge. Past the lookout post. He goes there when he needs to hate himself in peace.ā
Following the trail, each step felt heavier than the last. Eventually, she spotted him. He was pacing around, boots scuffing the dirt, jaw clenched, Bellamy looked like a man unraveling slowly and trying to pretend he wasnāt.
āSheās awake.āĀ
He froze mid-step at the sudden breaking of silence. Clarke steps closer, āDid you even want to know?ā she said sharply.
He didnāt look at her, āI figured someone would tell me eventually.ā
āAnd thatās enough for you?. Just hearing from someone. Just checking off the box that she survived?ā she spitted.Ā
āSheās alive, thatās all that matters,ā Bellamy exhaled, his voice hollow.
Clarke looked at him. Really looked at him. The dark circles under his eyes, the tension in his jaw, the exhaustion etched into every inch of him⦠it all told a story louder than any words could. He hadn't slept, probably hadnāt eaten either, he just buried himself with guilt.Ā
āYou should have been there,ā it was like putting more fuel to the already hot flames, āshe looked for you first.ā
He inhaled sharply, like her words just cut him.
āShe blames herself,ā Clarke said, quieter now. āFor going out. For being reckless. For being a burden. Sheās carrying that, and wondering if she meant so little to you that you couldnāt even stay.ā
He sighs, voice cracking. It would be better if she just slapped him. āI didnāt know what to say.ā
Clarke moves closer to him, blocking his path, āYou canāt avoid her forever. Youāll have to face it someday.ā He doesnāt say anything. āShe asked about you, wanted to know why youāre not there,ā she pressed. āAnd I had to sit there and watch her wonder if she wasnāt enough for you to stay.ā
That makes him flinch, but she continues, āI saw the way you looked at her when she was unconscious. Like you were watching your whole world slip through your fingers.ā
The dark haired boy swallowed hard, running his hand through his curls, āShe almost died, because I let her go, because I didnāt stop her in the first place.ā
āStop it,ā Clarke snaps. āStop turning this into something that lets you punish yourself instead of doing something that actually helps her.ā
That felt like a punch. He looks at her, speechless.
āIf you keep running away, youāre gonna lose her,ā she said softly. His breath hitches. He knows it, deep down he knows it. āJust⦠donāt wait too long, Bellamy. She wonāt.
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She needed air, or space, or maybe just get out, get distance from the damn tent she woke up in a few hours prior. The weight of waiting for someone who wouldnāt come was crushing her.
It was late afternoon, the sun bled gold through the trees, making the place more romantic, like death wasnāt lurking at every corner. The camp was quieter now, almost like before the hunt. She liked it this way, almost peaceful.
She didnāt make it far, didnāt have the strength yet - just to a nearby log a few steps from the tent. Of course, the universe had a twisted sense of humor. She found Murphy leaning against a tree, tossing a knife up and catching it by the handle, over and over again. Predictably annoying.
āShouldnāt you be in bed, resting? Or maybe not walking around like you almost didn't bleed out yesterday?ā He looked at her with a raised brow.
āNice to see you too, Murphy.ā
He stepped in front of her, hands in pockets, āDonāt get all sentimental on me now.ā She just rolled her eyes, āThen shouldnāt you be off being emotionally unavailable in some dark corner?ā
Murphy smirked. āTouche.āĀ
She leaned back against the nearest tree, trying to get comfortable, arms crossed. Or she tried to. Her ribs protested as she winced. āSeriously,ā he said, quieter, āYou okay?ā
āDefine okay,ā she shrugged. Murphy tilted his head. āNot dead?ā She suppressed a laugh. āBarely, but hey, Iām fine,ā she muttered.
āOh yeah? Sure,ā he said, unimpressed. āBecause āfineā people usually donāt go on a hunt alone, bleed out in the woods after picking a fight with three Grounders solo.āĀ
āI handled it,ā she shot back. āYeah? You also handled passing out in Bellamyās arms pretty well, while he looked like the world was ending and he was prepared to murder everyone who tried to cross his path.āĀ
She glared at him sharply, āYou know Murphy, youāve got a talent for making people feel worse without even trying, itās like a superpower.ā
āThanks,ā he said without missing a beat. He looked away, āYou scared the hell out of everyone,ā kicking a pebble with his boot. āEven meā¦ā She blinked. āDid you just admit you care?ā
Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. āRelax,ā he muttered, running a hand through his hair. āLetās not turn this into a moment.ā She chuckled. āItās okay, I wonāt tell anyone you have a soul.ā
He just signed. āTry not to die again, alright? Weāve got enough tragic stories on our hands around here without you turning into one.āĀ
She was quiet for a moment, āIāll try.ā Something behind his eyes flickered, āGood.ā
āSo are you coming back in, or should I carry you like Bellamy did?ā She threw a stick at him, missed by an inch. āIād rather crawl.ā
āYeah, I figured,āhe smirked, back to the usual him. āStubborn idiot.āĀ
She didnāt say it, but for the first time since waking up, the loneliness back away slightly.
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The sun was slowly coming down, shining gold streaks through the trees. The camp had gone to its usual manner, people scattered around, fires up, distant chatter of voices trying to sound normal again.
None of it mattered to her. Sheād walked farther than she probably should have, lungs tight, ribs throbbing with pain, but she didnāt let it stop her - not until she found him.
He hadnāt heard her soft footsteps approach. She sat on a branch leaning against a tree, exhausted. āYouāve been avoiding me,ā she broke the silence. āFigured, youād be here.ā
He froze, his shoulders tense. Didnāt turn to face her. āGo back,ā Bellamy said, flat, almost mechanical. āYou shouldnāt be out here.ā
She glanced at him, clutching the wound. āDidnāt know you still cared to keep tabs.ā Still he didnāt look at her, āYouāre not supposed to be walking yet.ā
She winced at the pain, when she fully turned to him, āThatās the thing, Bellamy. Iām not supposed to be bleeding out alone either, but here we are.ā That made him turn towards her, his expression unreadable, but his eyes said enough. āDonātā¦ā
āDonāt what?ā she asked, tired of dancing around it. Yet, sheās only met with another silence, louder than any answer. Tension crackling in the stillness between them.
āAfter everything weāve been through, you just decided to vanish, again.ā She blinked hard, a single tear slipping down before she could stop it. Her chest heavy, heart shattering into a million pieces.Ā
āYou know whatās the worst part?ā she paused, giving him a chance to speak up, but he just stared at her, āI remember it. All of it. The pain, the hopelessness, you. Everything you said. You were begging me to fight, to stay. Like I was something worth saving. Like I meant something to you.ā
He didnāt respond, didnāt know how. Just shifted his stance, like he was bracing for the storm that was coming. āAnd when I woke up, you werenāt there, didnāt even bother to stop by. You showed up for the dying version of me, not the living one, āher voice cracked.
āThatās not fair,ā he stepped forward, but still kept his distance.
āNo?ā Her eyes locked on his. āI waited. I waited for you to come in, say something, anything. Dammit, even Murphy showed sympathy. I waited for you to come and yell at me for being reckless, stupid. But you vanished like none of it mattered.ā
He ran his hand through his hair, frustrated āI let you go,ā he snapped, āI didnāt fight you on it. And when I found you⦠I thought it was too late. I let you go out thereā¦ā
āNo,ā she cut him off, āI made that choice, not you. Stop blaming yourself. It was me, who wanted to go out alone. I knew it was risky. I knew thereās danger waiting behind every branchā¦ā her breath hitched. She winced in pain from the healing wound. āYou know what scared me the most? That I wonāt see any of you ever again. That Iād before I figured what this-ā she motioned between them, āwhat we are.ā
Her voice broke at the end. The weight of everything just came crashing down and she couldnāt control her tears anymore. She hated crying, especially in front of him, but she just couldnāt hold it anymore. āI didnāt want to die wondering if I was ever enough for you to stay. But maybe thatās just who I am. Someone who people save and then forget.ā
His heart broke at the sight of her. He finally saw something he was trying to outrun for months. He didnāt speak right away. He just slowly knelt beside, looking at her up close, placing one hand on her knee. āIām sorry, princessā¦ā
It was a whisper. And then - he stood. Turned away. And walked off into the trees, silent and fast, like the coward part of him still had control.
She didnāt call after him. Didnāt chase. She just left herself to cry. For once, she didnāt try to be strong. Didnāt try to stitch herself back together. She just let it hurt. And the woods listened.
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Moments had passed. She sat still, frozen. The ache in her chest pulsed in sync with the dull throb of her wound, both of them begging to be tended to, both of them ignored.Ā
A light breeze swayed the trees gently above her. She didnāt move, didnāt wipe her tears. Just set there, alone, lost, broken.
She didnātĀ hear Octavia approach her, the same way Bellamy didnāt hear either, until the younger girlās boots crunched quietly against the fallen leaves.
āMed tent said you slipped out,ā Octaviaās voice came soft. Not accusing. Just there. āDidnāt take a genius to figure out where.ā
She glanced up, said nothing, weakly smiled at her, it didnāt reach her eyes. It wasnāt meant to. Octavia didnāt expect sheād be in a talking mood, she knew her too well.Ā
Without a word, O lowered herself onto the branch beside her, knees drawn up, one arm resting on top of them, the other reached toward the other gently wrapped around her, hand slippining to her arm, leaning her head against her shoulder, staring into nothing. They sat in comfortable silence.
āHeās a coward, you know,ā Octavia finally said, her eyes trailing off to the same path he walked. āHe has good intentions, but they donāt count for shit, if you donāt show up.ā
A bitter breath escaped her lips. Almost a laugh. Almost. āStill hurts anyway.ā
Octavia looked at her, āOf course it does, sweetheart,ā her eyes softened.
āI didnāt ask for much from him,ā she turned her face away, wiping the tears away roughly with the sleeve of her shirt. Angry at the tears, angry at herself, angry at him. āJust⦠for him to be there.ā Her voice was quite broken. āI donāt need grand gestures. Just something real, a proof that I matter.ā
āBut you do,ā she intertwined their hands in a comforting manner.
āI kept thinkingā¦ā a shaky breath catching in her throat, āmaybe he stayed away because it was easier to forget me.ā She blinked hard. Bit the inside of her cheek. āBecause maybe I wasnāt worth the part after the saving.ā That hit his sister squarely in the gut, but she didnāt show it, āYouāre not forgettable,ā her tumb brushed softly across her knuckles. āYouāre not alone. Not while Iām breathing.ā
That cracked something in her, but she didnāt trust herself to speak up without entirely breaking down. So she just stared ahead, eyes unfocused.
āYou shouldn't have come out here alone?ā Octavia scolded her like a sister, gently but firmly. āI know,ā her words were barely audible, āI just didnāt want to feel like this infront of anyone. I thought that seeing him might change something.ā
A heavy sigh escaped Octaviaās lips, like she was holding in more than she was saying. āHeās scared,ā she muttered. āSo am I,ā she whispered back.
They stayed in each other's embrace for a while. Not talking. Just letting the pain sit between, no longer alone. And when the tears started sliding across her cheeks again, slower, quieter, Octavia didnāt flinch or look away. She stayed, rubbed calming circles on her hand, grounding her like an anchor in the storm. A silent promise in the shape of a sister.
Iām here. Iām not going anywhere. I got you.
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a/n: i am here with another part. iāll be honest with ya, i am really enjoying it, so hopefully you are to. thank you for your support, it means the world to me. also, like i wrote before, i havenāt watched the entire show, yet. so the way i am writing it, is more from season one, two and what i read on here or saw on tiktok :) may we meet again.
Hunter's mistake - Bellamy Blake x Reader
summary: It was supposed to be just a routine hunt for food. She even offered to do it. But she got ambushed and now sheās in the middle of nowhere, bleeding out with no one to help her. Meanwhile back at the camp, when sheās still not returning to his dislike, Bellamy starts to worry.word count: 3,3k warnings: mentions of blood, descriptions of fighting, cursing, near death experience, angst
part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, bonus part
That morning began with an unfamiliar peace. No shouting. No chaos. Just her and silence. It was pretty early in the morning, everyone still asleep. Well, most of them. She spotted Bellamy and Clarke sitting outside, eating what seemed like breakfast. āYou two? Sitting in silence, eating together?ā she raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at her lips āNow, that's something I thought I'll never witness.ā
āWell, good morning to you too. Care to join us?ā Clarke gestured to the empty spot beside her. āWhatās on todayās agenda?ā the other blonde girl asked, snagging a piece of bread from Clarkeās plate without asking. āMhm, we need food,ā Bellamy muttered, not looking up from his plate. ā I can handle that,ā she answered, tilting her head studying the boy in front of her. āIāll grab my gear and head out.
His eyes lifted, sharp and direct, āNo.ā
That was Bellamy Blake - unreadable as ever. One day, he treated her like a trusted ally, an equal, someone whose opinion mattered. The next day? He shut her out like a stranger. She hated how inconsistent he was with her. Hated how he made her care. And maybe, just maybe, deep down she hated how she couldnāt stop herself from thinking about him.Ā
But she hasnāt resolved those feelings, not yet. āExcuse me?ā
āYou are not going for a hunt alone,ā he stood up. āI didnāt say anything about going alone,ā she protested. āCome on, I know you. You want to. Youād rather face a mountain lion than ask anyone to tag alongā Clarke watched in amusement. These two were a mystery to her. They were leaders along her side, making the difficult decisions, helping each other. One day they seemed fine and the next day? It felt like they were gonna slit each other's throats.
āAnd itās working just fine for me, isnāt it,ā she followed as he started to walk away. āI move faster solo, cover more ground. You need food? Thatās how itās done.āĀ
āThis is not about the food,ā he snapped, turning to face her fully. āItās about you coming back in one piece.ā She looked at him furious. āOh, so now you care?ā
āDonāt twist my words, princess,ā he warned. She exhaled, trying not to kill him on spot. āLook, I get that youāre all in āprotect the campā mode 24/7, but I am capable and Iāve done this way too many times for you to question my abilities.ā
āAnd every damn time, you act like itās a solo mission. Like no one gets to risk their life but you,ā he said sharply. āYou think being alone makes you stronger, almost invincible.ā
āAnd you think hovering over everyone makes you in control,ā she snapped back, ābut you canāt control me Bellamy. You never could.ā And thatā¦? That hit harder than she intended. She was so mad at him, firing back without thinking first. His face shifted and she couldnāt read him anymore.
Clarke, still sitting nearby, raised a brow and muttered under her breath, āHere we go againā¦ā
Bellamy ignored her, āYou donāt go, unless someone goes with you.ā She stepped closer to him, voice quieter, āAnd Iām serious too. I need to get out, just for a few hours. Clear my head, breathe.ā He didnāt say anything, just watched her. āIāll be careful,ā she added, āI swear. And Iāll be back by noon. Just⦠trust me.ā
That of all things, seemed to do it. He signed, defeated, dragging a hand down his face. āFine, whatever. But if youāre not back by noonā¦āĀ
āYeah, I know the drill, youāll send a search party,ā she finished for him. āNo. Iāll come find you myself, princess,ā he said, deadly serious. She never heard this tone from him before, not directed at her. She swallowed hard, then just rolled her eyes. āAlways so dramatic, Blake.ā With that she turned, heading off to gather her gear.
He just kept standing there looking after her. āSo,ā Clarke said behind him, āwill you ever have the guts to tell her?ā He didnāt say anything, just walked away. She just shook her head and followed. Some things never change.
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Two hours. Thatās how long sheād been out there. And all she had to show for was a small rabbit that would barely feed three people, maybe four if luck was on their side. It wasnāt looking so good, so she made a decision to go deeper into the woods. It wasnāt a smart decision, she was well aware of that, too far from the camp, too close to unknown danger. But hunger didnāt care about caution. And she needed to prove something. To herself, to Bellamy, to everyone who thought that she couldnāt handle things on her own.
As she was walking between the trees she heard a branch crack. Until that moment the woods were silent, heavy with tension. She spun, her heart in her throat. A male steps into the view, holding a machete in one hand. He seems dangerous, even brutal, face painted. āSkaikru,ā he spits that word like a venom. He smiles. The kind of smile that doesnāt reach his eyes. Two more come out of the shadows, following him. Three of them. Her stomach dropped.
Grounders.
Then the one holding machete chargers. She ducks the first swing instinctively, her foot setting solidly as she slams her shoulder into his side but he barely moves. In a blur, he grabs her by the arm and throws her into the nearest three. It hurts, but she forces herself back up.
She takes out a dagger and throws it at him, missing him by a few inches. Sheās well aware of the fact that she wonāt be able to overpower them, but needs to outsmart them.
The second one comes at her fast. She sidesteps just in time, kicking his leg out from under him. He hits the ground with a scary grunt. The third swinged a short spear at her. She twisted back, avoiding the tip as it sliced the air.
They circled her, closing in. They trade blows. She tries to be faster - elbow to one's face, then a low kick to the knee of the other one. Her opponents grunts. Staggered, one grabs her by her wrist and swings her into another tree. It leaves bloody marks on her arm and she winces in pain.
The little fighter twists, knees him in the ribs, grabs the machete handle. But heās faster, wrenches it back, slicing the air between them.Ā
Breathing hard, bruised, they circle each other again. After a single second she lunges, barehanded. Grabs the nearest branch. She swung - he blocked. It was enough. She slams the sharp end into his guts. He gasps.Ā
With a victorious smile she gets distracted leaving him with an opportunity. Flash of metal. Pain exploded in her stomach. He stabbed her. Low, below the ribs. She bites down a scream, eyes wide. Silence. āYou shouldnāt have come alone,ā he whispers into her ear and then pulls the blade free and steps back, blood dripping from the metal.
She drops to one knee, clutching the wound. Her attackers back into the shadows and disappear like ghosts. She tries to stand up but her legs give out.
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āIs she back yet?ā Bellamyās rough voice cut through the quiet camp. Clarke looked up from her notebook, where she was probably drawing something or maybe someone, āNo,ā she said, glancing towards the woods. āI havenāt seen her come in.ā
Bellamyās jaw clenched. He looked up at the sky, the sun was hanging high. It was already past noon. Where the hell is she? She promised sheād be back, she promised. āFuck,ā he muttered, āShe always has to do things in her own way. Stubborn.ā he reminded himself.
Clarke closed the notebook she had in her hands, putting it next to her. She picked up on the visible tension in his voice. āBellamy,ā she tried to soothe him, āYou know how she is. Our little huntress, she probably caught some fresh tracks and got lost in the chasing game. Sheāll be back soon.ā But he couldnāt share Clarkeās optimism. Something felt off, he felt it in his guts, āNo, somethingās wrong.ā
Clarke stood up, her eyes locked on him, āYou donāt know that.ā
āI do, Clarke,ā he snapped. He was frustrated, but it started to turn into guilt. āWhy did I let her go alone? She said she needed to go out and I just let her. Like a goddamn idiot." Clarke stepped closer, reaching for his arm, trying to calm him down, āShe is capable, Bellamy. Sheās not some helpless kid, she's a grown woman.ā
āI do know that, but this place,ā he stuttered, āthis place doesnāt care if you are capable. There is danger lurking around every corner. Grounders, traps, unknown diseases and yet, knowing all of this, she goes out for a hunt, alone. Why? Because she still thinks being alone makes her look stronger.ā Clarke stared at him for a second. āShe just wants to prove herself,ā she said gently, āTo you. To everyone.ā
The dark haired boy didnāt answer right away. His jaw clenched, he looked out into the woods, like she could appear any minute. But she didnāt. āShe doesnāt need to prove anything,ā he said quietly, āNot to me.ā And without another word, he turned. āMonty!ā he shouted, already heading toward the supply tent. āGear up, weāre going after her.ā Monty didnāt question it. āOn it.ā
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Each step was becoming harder than the last one. She dragged herself through the forest, catching on roots and rocks, but she barely noticed anymore. Her only goal was to get back to the camp, to him. Her surroundings had blurred into shades of green and brown, distant and unreal. She felt like she was drowning - too slow, too heavy, too quiet.
Her hand pressed tightly to her stomach, red liquid leaking through her fingers. Blood. She couldnāt tell for how long she had been walking. Time didnāt make sense anymore. The pain was replaced by numbness. That wasnāt a good sign.
She stumbled over a fallen branch and barely caught herself. A painful scream caught up in her throat. Her body was screaming at her to rest, to just lie down. But she kept going. She had to, because if she didnāt, there would be no getting back up.
Her mind drifted. Not to the pain, nor her wound, not even the danger that still lurked in the shadows. It drifted to him. Bellamy Blake. Stubborn, sometimes arrogant, infuriating, always thinking he knew best. And yet, always there.
She heard his voice from that morning. Reminded herself the way heād looked at her when he told her not to go alone. She ignored his request like a little child, because she felt like she needed to prove something. They fought a lot, and yet, under every insult she could sense something that felt like care.
He drove her crazy. And sometimes - sometimes she caught him looking at her like he cared more than he let on. Like she was the only one in the room. And maybe, just maybe, she looked back the same way. Never said it, never properly named it.
A bitter laugh escaped her lips. Or was it a sob? She couldnāt comprehend anymore. She wanted to scream, to beg, to yell at someone, but she wasnāt able to even whisper, her lungs at their max capacity. And then suddenly her knees buckled. She fell forward, hands digging into the cold dirt. It sent a jolt of pain through her entire body. She couldnāt breathe. Looked at the path ahead of her, but there was nothing but just more trees, more silence.
She closed her eyes in defeat. I am sorry, she mouthed. Her body slumped against the base of a tree. It scraped her back, but the discomfort reminded her that she was still awake, alive. Her strength left her body like water that slips through fingers. And then - nothing.
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A few moments later Ballamy and a small search party at his back were moving through the woods. They were all on high alert and armed. Bellamy was leading, moving faster than the others, eyes scanning the ground for any small clue - a trail, a footprint, a broken branch. āBellamy!ā Monty called from behind. āWeāll be able to cover more ground if we split up.ā
āNo!āhe cut in, shaking his head. āShe canāt be too far. She wouldnāt go too deep, not alone.ā Oh how much was that a lie. She would. And she had.
Theyād been out for almost an hour. With every step, every unanswered call of her name, the fear he felt clawed tighter at his chest.Ā
Then, he saw it. Blood on the bark of a tree, a drag mark in the dirt. His stomach dropped. āHere!ā he shouted, to let the others know of his findings. But he didnāt wait for them to catch up. He just couldnāt. His legs moved instinctively, following the trail of blood. And then - he found her.
His heart nearly stopped at the sight of her. She was leaning on the base of a tree, not too far from the camp, she was so close to making it back. One hand was limp over a wound just beneath the ribs. Blood has soaked into her shirt and into the ground beneath her. Her breathing was shallow. For a second, he couldnāt move. Couldnāt breathe. He just stood there and stared at her like she might disappear in the blink of an eye. Then instinct kicked in.
āNo. No, no, noā¦ā Bellamy dropped to his knees beside her. Hands hovering over her body, too scared to touch her. āHey,ā his voice cracked as he gently brushed the hair from her face. āHey, look at me. Come on, open your eyes.ā His fingers trembled against her cheek. She was cold to the touch.
Her eyelids fluttered weakly, her gaze barely finding him. āYou came,ā she whispered, but it felt like her voice wasnāt even there. āOf course I came,ā he choked out with a little hint of a smile, trying to keep pressure on her wound with shaking hands. āYou thought that youāll get to play the hero alone?ā A weak, broken smile tugged at her lips. āDidnāt⦠play a hero. Justā¦ā it was hard to finish the sentence, her body tense, āstupid.ā
āYeah,ā he slightly nodded, biting back the lump in his throat. āYeah, you were. Youāre not supposed to do this alone.ā She blinked slowly, eyes drifting closed again.
āNo. No, hey,ā his voice rising, lightly tapping her cheek. āStay with me. You stay with me. I swear, if you die out here, Iāll⦠Iāll kill you myself.ā Her lips moved, āYouād miss me.ā
He laughed, a broken laugh wrapped in fear and disbelief. āYeah, yeah I would.ā
Monty appeared out of nowhere, breathless. āBellamy!ā The worry spreaded across his friend's face said it all. Monty just nodded and cleared the way while Bellamy slid one arm beneath the girlās shoulder and the other beneath her knees. He couldnāt lose her.
He forced himself to move, lifted her, her head falling against his chest. She was far too light, far too cold. Blood everywhere.
āPrincess,ā he whispered, his heart breaking at the sight of her, in his arms, limp. āJust⦠just stay with me, alright? Iāve got you. Iāve got you.ā But she didnāt respond. He could hear her fading heartbeat against his chest and more panic settled in.Ā
Her blood soaked into his shirt, warm and horrifying. It coated his hands, streaked his arms. It felt like a living nightmare he couldnāt wake up from. But he couldnāt stop, he didnāt dare to.
āYouāre okay,ā he whispered over and over as he carried her, like a prayer. āYouāre gonna be okay. Just keep breathing. Please⦠donāt do this to me.āĀ
Every step back to camp felt like endless miles. He was desperate, never looking at the trees around them, not even glancing back if the group was still with him. His eyes never left her, not once. Her lashes fluttered once, barely. He clung to that.Ā
āYou donāt get to do this to me, go out like this,ā his voice was raw with emotion. āYouāre too stubborn, right? You fight. Thatās how you do it. So fight now, dammit,ā he was almost screaming.
He felt like he was gonna break, felt responsible. And the moment the med tent came into view, his own legs almost betrayed him. But he kept going, he couldnāt stop.
She wasnāt gone. Not yet. And heād make sure she never got that close again.
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The chaos had passed. The med tent smelled like blood and antiseptic. Clarke worked relentlessly, had done everything she could. Hands worked steady, face pale. The blood haunted him, it was everywhere - on the floor, remained on his hands. He wouldnāt leave her side. Heād just stood there, frozen in the corner, useless. Once a leader, fighter, now just a boy watching someone he cared about slip away.
āSheās stable,ā Clarke had told him, when she finished. āFor now.ā For now, those two words haunted him. Heād nearly lost her.
The tent fell into quietness, whilst Clarke had stepped out to get fresh bandages. No one saw how her hands trembled.
Bellamy remained. He sat down beside her, elbows on his knees, his bloodied hands locked together, knuckles white. Someone has to pay. He couldnāt look at her. She was always like a storm. Now she was this empty shell, so still, pale, quiet.Ā
They faced many close calls together, there were just too many of them in this world. Heād always thought there was time. Time to figure it out, to fight a little more, to ignore the way she got under his skin. To avoid those feelings he couldnāt name every time she looked at him like he was something more. But this was different, he almost lost her this time.
He shouldāve gone with her. He knew how she was when she felt caged in. He should see it coming. āAlways trying to prove youāre better off on your own,ā he murmured, more to the quiet than to her. āLike youāre not carrying the weight of this whole damn camp on your shoulders. Like itās your job to bleed for everyone else.ā
Monty came to check on her but also his friend. His hand rested on Bellamyās shoulder in a comforting manner. āItās not your fault. She made a choice. Sheās not your responsibility.ā Bellamy didnāt dare to look at him. āYouāre wrong.āĀ
āWhy?ā Monty signed.Ā āBecause sheās part of the camp? Or because you care about her more than you want anyone to know?ā Bellamy didnāt answer and Monty left him alone to his thoughts.Ā
Finally he looked up. She looked so fragile, like one wrong move would shatter her. Clarked had cleaned the wound and wrapped her torso. āYou drive me insane, you know that?ā No response. Just the soft rise and fall of her chest. āGod, if you donāt wake upā¦ā He couldnāt finish it.
Bellamy leaned in slowly, letting his forehead rest against the edge of the cot, just inches from her hand. He wanted to touch her, but didnāt dare to, scared of hurting her, or himself. He stayed like that, head bowed, like a man praying to a god he didnāt believe in.
āI canāt lose you,ā he whispered, āIām not ready to lose you.ā
Her fingers twitched. Barely. But it was enough.
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a/n: i should mention that i only watched season 1 and half of season 2 so far but lately I am obsessed with the 100 and decided that I could try and write a fanfic after a very long time. hope you'll enjoy, it's my first ever fanfic on here and also, english is not my first language so i apologize for any grammatical mistakes in advance.
nothing but respect for our troops (smut writers) but listen. i dont want to be the person to tell you this, but not every character is going to be a dom or a sub. some people. and i know this is hard to hear. but some people do have vanilla sex. and some of those people might even be The Character.
most correct addition so far

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"i'll be back. i promise you."
Nobody:
Some historian in the 15th century Bohemia:
This is the lucky clover cat. reblogĀ this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.
THIS ONE!!! THIS IS THE ONE THAT WORKS!!!!!
I reblogged him the day i started treatment and 1. GOT TO MY APPOINTMENT ON TIME 2. FOUND A FREE PARKING TICKET SOMEONE LEFT IN THE METER FOR ME AND 3. GOT FREE STARBUCKS AFTER MY APPOINTMENT!!!!!
Iām convinced bc I reblogged this on Friday, got hired at a job I had a million interviews for, went on a first date that went well, and got kissed a billion times so like hell ya to the luck cat
it him
Iāll blog it just because people need to see this cat, but letās hope I get luck too.
i reblogged this yesterday and today my mom paid for pedicures and dinner for my fiancĆ© and i out of the blue š
Iām waiting for some news, let it be good this time!
I hope I pass my exams lol
I need some luck! Help me out kitty :)
excited to write the fic but I do not want to actually write the fic I just want to telepathically translate it all to the readers I have so we can be excited together
when i want fluff/angst fics and all iām getting is smut
the struggle is real

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Self care is writing fan fiction that you are the sole target audience for.
fictional men who have the āitās okay to murder people but itās never okay to disrespect womenā energy>>>>>>>>