Lucky's Corner

It is the circle of the bears cause of ursa major and ursa minor, and the circle without bears cause ya'know opposite part of the sky.

Spoilers from Durge Act 1. Also CW for blood.

Dark Urge as a Berserker is just fitting.

(also please don't spoil the game to me I haven't even finished act 1 lmao)

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so you're like. hmmm. and you call the Autobots like 'hi I know this number is supposed to be for reporting possible Decepticon activity but I've got some kind of alien bullshit going on and I don't know who to ask'. they hand you over to Ratchet and Rachet is like 'hm I think I know what that is but let me come run some tests'

SO Ratchet comes over and has a look at the engine and is like yeah as I thought. its crotch rust. and you're like 'crotch rust??' and he's like yeah its crotch rust. its a. well I think humans call them STIs? its like that.

so you're like '..........are you telling me a Transformer fucked this car' and he's like yeah. looks that way. and you're like 'what in the world' and he's like I don't know. people are freaks. anyway we don't want this stuff spreading so I'll be back tomorrow with the right nanites. keep it away from the other cars.

he comes back the next day like okay so I have good news and I have bad news. you're like 'well what's the good news' and he's like WELL I spent last night testing all the autobots for crotch rust and they're all clean. so you're like 'does that mean the car wasn't fucked' and he's like oh no the car was definitely fucked there's no other way this could have happened.

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Like this other thought I had once was that there’s this Dwarf that used to come by and visit Bilbo, probably one of the many cousins and relations of Thorin’s Company. And he kind of falls in love with the Shire and is like “That’s it, I’m retiring here.”

A Dwarf. Living in the Shire.

People don’t emigrate to the Shire. It’s not done! Hobbits can move from one part of the Shire to another, but you don’t have something else entirely move to it from outside of it!

Except it would be abominably, beastly rude to actually tell him that. “No, you can’t live here”, what, are we animals? Beasts? Orcs? Plus, uh, he’s kind of fucking rich. Like, really rich. Like he just plunked down a good three times what a hill is actually worth because he says it has “good bones”.

So everyone decides, for the sake of the peace, for the sake of their own minds…

… he is a Hobbit.

Hairiest Hobbit you ever saw. With a weirdly deep hole. Yeah people have been in that sucker and it just keeps. Going. Down. A weird distance down. Lot of stonework. But that there is Mr. Talbin Ironnails the Hobbit. Mm-hmm. Oh, the beard’s just a bit of an eccentricity, don’t mind him.

Need some metalwork done? Why, you want ol’ Talbin! Best Hobbit you’ve ever seen with a hammer and tongs. Dwarf? No, no, who ever heard of a Dwarf living in the Shire! That’s just old Talbin! Bit on the tall side, but don’t be intimidated at all.

Oh dear, wolves you say? Well, let’s go ask ol’ Talbin if he can take care of it. Once took a wolf’s head clean off with what we’re very sure was a very fancy woodsman’s axe, what with the long metal haft and two heads. Must have a bit of Took in him, does ol’ Talbin. Explains why he’s so odd, eh? Eh?